H-Virus
Hank Scorpio
A Real Contagious Experience
Posts: 5,978
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Post by H-Virus on Jun 26, 2012 9:20:38 GMT -5
"These last few weeks I've been getting beat up by a bunch of old guys. You people must think that's pretty funny. Do I amuse you? Do you think I'm a clown? Do you think I'm a clown!?"
*Cue circus music*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 9:23:22 GMT -5
I don't care who comes through that curtain. I'll beat them. WHO'S NEXT???
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 9:25:20 GMT -5
[Cut to Slater wearing many instruments and holding a guitar]
Slater: Hello, everybody! I'm Archie Bell, and I'm also the Drells! I've got a new song called "Tighten Up," and this is the music you tighten up with!
[starts playing; everyone leaves, and an organ grinder orders his monkey to attack Heath]
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hassanchop
Grimlock
Who are you to doubt Belldandy?
Posts: 14,909
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Post by hassanchop on Jun 26, 2012 9:27:15 GMT -5
"I just want to say it's an honor to be here tonight, you know I heard this was the happiest place on Earth, but you are the rudest people on Earth!"
*Barry Stevens comes out*
Barry: Hey! That's gimmick infringement and you know it!
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ERON
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,825
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Post by ERON on Jun 26, 2012 9:28:15 GMT -5
"Okay, so three weeks ago, it was Vader. Then it was Rowdy Roddy Piper and a couple of old ladies. And then last week, it was Sycho Sid. Who's next? I said, WHO'S NEXT?!?" Edit: Damn, someone just beat me to it. What I'm really hoping for, though, is for Slater to get beaten down every week, until finally on the 1,000th episode, he faces the Brooklyn Brawler and wins, only to get beaten down afterwards by 20 or so random legends. Followed by the obligatory dance sequence, of course. Oh, and then...
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Post by joebob27 on Jun 26, 2012 9:35:24 GMT -5
"You know, they say all men are created equal. But, you look at me, the ONNNEEEE MANNNNN BANNNNDDDDD, and these idiots out in the crowd, and you can see that statement is not true. See normally, if you go one on one with another wrestler, you got a 50-50 chance of winning, but I'm a ONNNNNNNEEEEE MANNNNNN BANNNNDDDDDD and I'm not normal. So you got a 25 percent chance.... AT BEST... of beating me. But a few weeks ago I faced Vader, and lost. And then I faced Sid, and lost. So, I'm overdue. If you take the 75 percent chance I have of winning, and you times it by 3 because I'm overdue, you get 225 percent. But I have a 450 percent chance of winning, because whoever comes out here knows they have no chance of winning, and they won't even try. So, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for whoever tries to face me next!"
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lodirulz
Hank Scorpio
Live as the color red in a world of black and white.
Posts: 6,412
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Post by lodirulz on Jun 26, 2012 9:37:56 GMT -5
Alongside a tag team partner, I don't know, maybe: Jinder Mahal.
Ok, so I'll be the first to admit, these legends have caught me off guard. But this time, I came prepared. I"M THE ONE MAN BAND, BABY! And you can't have a band without the groupies! Me and Jinder Mahal, we will take out whatever dinosaur fossils step up to the plate, and we will become THE LEADERS, OF A NEW AGE. YOU HEAR ME? A NEW AGE! CALL SOMEBODY! CALL ANYBODY! CALL-
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Nikki Heyman
Fry's dog Seymour
EXTREEEEEME Pony Manager
✬ Believe In The Fight ✬
Posts: 24,018
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Post by Nikki Heyman on Jun 26, 2012 9:41:20 GMT -5
"I'm the ONE - MAN - BAND! and I'm the WHOLE - DAM - SHOW"
(RVD arrives and gives him a Van Daminator)
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Post by Mighty Attack Tribble on Jun 26, 2012 9:50:37 GMT -5
"I am the one man band, the top Raw superstar, and the best looking guy in the whole company. Just look at me!"
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thecrusherwi
El Dandy
the Financially Responsible Man
Brawl For All
Posts: 7,723
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Post by thecrusherwi on Jun 26, 2012 10:00:33 GMT -5
Now I'm sick and tired of gettin' blindsided by all these old-timers! I'm not some wHippin boy!! IM A ONE MAN BAAAAAAAND!!! Now I'm sure there's some old codger back there this week lookin to relived his day gone by, but it doesn't matter I'M IN THE ZONE!!! And I'm gonna SNAP! You here me!? I'M IN THE ZONE AND READY TO SNAP!!!
*Cue Shamrock's Music*
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PKO
King Koopa
Posts: 12,636
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Post by PKO on Jun 26, 2012 10:06:03 GMT -5
"I may have lost my last few matches but that doesn't matter! I love the competition...you could say, I'm insatiable; I can't get enough..."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 10:08:05 GMT -5
"Every time I come out here, people keep calling me the Wendy's girl. Well, I ain't no girl, baby, I'm the One Man Rock Band! Don't Treat me Like a Woman. Heck, don't treat me like a Man. And don't treat me like you know me....."
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hassanchop
Grimlock
Who are you to doubt Belldandy?
Posts: 14,909
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Post by hassanchop on Jun 26, 2012 10:26:34 GMT -5
"I am Heath Slater the one man rock band, some people may call me evil, maybe I am EVIL! *Points up* INDEED!"
*Kai En Tai music hits*
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DragonMasterP
King Koopa
I'd change my avatar, but beardless Luke Harper is too funny.
Posts: 12,016
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Post by DragonMasterP on Jun 26, 2012 10:43:40 GMT -5
"What am I doing here, again?"
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The QC Loser
Hank Scorpio
Come on follow my Twitter I'm cool!
Posts: 6,241
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Post by The QC Loser on Jun 26, 2012 10:46:48 GMT -5
I really am the best and the one man rock band. You can trust me. *Cue Jake Roberts stumbling to the ring and vomiting*
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Post by Tyfo on Jun 26, 2012 10:52:49 GMT -5
First it's Vader, then Piper, and then last week it's Sid. I keep getting blindsided by all these legends. I'm not able to prepare, I can't get in their head, I don't even know who I'm going to be facing from week to week! I'm the ONE MAN BAND baby and this recent run of bad luck WASN'T MY FAULT!
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mrbananagrabber
King Koopa
Paul Heyman's unofficial joke writer
Posts: 11,879
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Post by mrbananagrabber on Jun 26, 2012 10:56:13 GMT -5
Has anyone commented on Slater's amazing psychic abilities? He makes a sly reference to a wrestler and - bingo - out he comes, and Heath always looks shocked.
Heath Slater: Fortune Teller. You know you'd love it.
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4real
Wade Wilson
Posts: 28,626
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Post by 4real on Jun 26, 2012 11:06:46 GMT -5
"I'm the One Man band bay be! And tonight I'm gonnna beat this washed up legend, Oh it's true, It's damn true!"
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 11:13:58 GMT -5
"Here I am on RAW, the ONE MAN SOUTHERN ROCK BAND! Can they even afford to have me wrestle here tonight? *fiddles with shirt*"
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Post by brackus on Jun 26, 2012 11:16:09 GMT -5
"Feel the power of Heath Slater! Same Slater-time, same Slater-channel!"
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