The Sam
El Dandy
The Brainiest Sam of all
Posts: 8,423 
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Post by The Sam on Apr 10, 2013 4:34:14 GMT -5
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Post by EoE: Workin On My Night Cheese on Apr 10, 2013 4:44:06 GMT -5
Hello Mr. Kerns, I bad want money now. Me sick. So pick please me, Mr. Burns. "Ooh... he card reads good." |
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Post by Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster on Apr 10, 2013 5:05:54 GMT -5
TV Announcer: Now on McGarnagle: McGarnagle is framed for a crime he didn't commit and only one witness can clear his name, a little sissy boy who's to scared to come forward.
McGarnagle: Now tell them what you saw Billy.
Billy: But I'm so scared McGarnagle.
McGarnagle: You've gotta do this one for me Billy, McGarnagle.
Billy: Okay for you McGarnagle.
Chief: [later] Well McGarnagle, Billy is dead! They slit his throat from ear to ear.
McGarnagle: Hey I'm trying to eat lunch here!
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on Apr 10, 2013 6:48:25 GMT -5
 "PURPLE DRAPES! All my life, I wanted purple drapes!" |
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,372
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Post by Push R Truth on Apr 10, 2013 9:12:01 GMT -5
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on Apr 10, 2013 12:18:47 GMT -5
"That's a great idea, Homer, but they already made some movies about World War II."
"Awww, hell. Well, what about Dracula?"
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Tom Turkey
Ozymandius
The King of North America
Posts: 61,991
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Post by Tom Turkey on Apr 10, 2013 14:17:45 GMT -5
/Homer watches "Free Willy" in his hotel room/
Homer: Jump, Free Willy. Jump! Jump with all your might!
/On the television, the eponymous whale jumps over a rock barrier with a young boy looking below at the leaping whale. As Willy's shadow looms over the boy, his face of wonder becomes a face wrought with fear./
Woman on TV: Oh no. Willy didn't make it. And he crushed our boy.
Man on TV: Oy, what a mess.
/Homer reacts/
Homer: Ohh, I don't like this new director's cut.
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on Apr 10, 2013 14:39:28 GMT -5
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The Sam
El Dandy
The Brainiest Sam of all
Posts: 8,423
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Post by The Sam on Apr 10, 2013 23:52:05 GMT -5
Lawyer - Mr. Quimby, did you assault Mr. LaCoste?
Freddy Quimby - Of course not. I love each and every thing on God's green earth.
Lawyer - Therefore, you would never lose your temper over something as trivial as the pronunciation of "chowder".
Freddy Quimby - That's "chowdah"! Chowdah! I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you, especially those of you in the jury!
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Post by Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster on Apr 11, 2013 0:08:02 GMT -5
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on Apr 11, 2013 10:21:15 GMT -5
"What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind."
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Ben Wyatt
Crow T. Robot
Are You Gonna Go My Way?
I don't get it. At all. It's kind of a small horse, I mean what am I missing? Am I crazy?
Posts: 41,859
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Post by Ben Wyatt on Apr 11, 2013 11:20:29 GMT -5
Let me set the record straight....I thought that cop was a prostitute
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on Apr 11, 2013 17:27:54 GMT -5
"Think of me when you're having the best sex of your life!"
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on Apr 12, 2013 14:29:40 GMT -5
 "Lousy sheriff. Run me out of town. He's lost my vote." |
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Apr 12, 2013 23:34:54 GMT -5
Chuck Garabedian: You gotta squeeze every penny. You see this tux? I got it cheap cause Roy Cohn died in it.
Crowd: Ooh!
Chuck: That fancy yacht? A bargain cause it smells like cat pee.
Crowd: Ooooh!
Chuck: And those beautiful women? They used to be men.
Crowd: Eeew!
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on Apr 13, 2013 7:39:24 GMT -5
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Tom Turkey
Ozymandius
The King of North America
Posts: 61,991
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Post by Tom Turkey on Apr 13, 2013 23:20:24 GMT -5
/At Burns' casino, James Bond and his arch-nemesis, Ernst Blofeld are caught in a game of cards, with Homer as the dealer/
Blofeld: 20. Your move, Mr. Bond.
Bond: I'll take a hit, dealer. [Homer gives him a card] Joker! You were supposed to take those out of the deck.
Homer: Oh, sorry. Here's another one.
Bond: What's this card? "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?
Blofeld: What a pity, Mr. Bond.
/Odd Job and Jaws, two classic Bond villain henchmen, grab 007 and prepare to escort him out of the room, with Blofeld pacing close-by./
Bond: But...but it's Homer's fault! I didn't lose. I never lose! Well, at least tell me the details of your plot for world domination.
Blofeld: Ho ho ho, I'm not going to fall for that one again.
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The Sam
El Dandy
The Brainiest Sam of all
Posts: 8,423
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Post by The Sam on Apr 14, 2013 0:19:02 GMT -5
Mr and Mrs Simpson, your children are no more...than a pair of troublemakers.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2013 0:48:19 GMT -5
The only thing I am high on is love, love for my son and daughters! Yes, a little LSD is all I need!
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Post by EoE: Workin On My Night Cheese on Apr 14, 2013 0:50:48 GMT -5
Mr and Mrs Simpson, your children are no more...than a pair of troublemakers. "Even Lisa?" "ESPECIALLY LISA! But especially Bart." |
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