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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on Apr 28, 2013 14:18:04 GMT -5
"SIMPSON! WHERE'S MY DINNER!?"
"MAMMA MIA!"
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Post by Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster on Apr 30, 2013 1:39:09 GMT -5
Barney: I'm Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting.
Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit that you have a problem?
Jay Sherman: Welcome to "Coming Attractions". I'm your host, Jay Sherman. Thank you. Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9."
[Charles Bronson is in a hospital bed]
Charles Bronson: I wish I was dead. Oy!
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The Sam
El Dandy
The Brainiest Sam of all
Posts: 8,423 
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Post by The Sam on Apr 30, 2013 9:19:27 GMT -5
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on Apr 30, 2013 9:58:00 GMT -5
 "Lace...the final brazier." |
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Post by Father Dougal McGuire on Apr 30, 2013 14:21:09 GMT -5
Kirk: Singles life is great, Homer. I can do whatever I want. Today I drank a beer in the bathroom.
Homer: The one down the hall.
Kirk: Yeah! And another great thing, you get your own bed. I sleep in a racing car, do you?
Homer: I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Kirk: Oh. Yeah.
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,372
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Post by Push R Truth on Apr 30, 2013 14:33:09 GMT -5
FREE THE SPRINGFIELD TWO
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on May 1, 2013 12:43:51 GMT -5
"WHERE IS THE RENT!?
I MUST HAVE THE RENT!
DOLLARS, DIMES AND NICKELS,
I NEED THE ALL RIGHT NOOOOOW!"
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Rubix Cube Johnny
Team Rocket
hopelessly trying to open a can of soup with a golf club
Posts: 999
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Post by Rubix Cube Johnny on May 1, 2013 18:36:25 GMT -5
I’m afraid I must insist. You see, my wife, she has been most vocal on the subject of the pretzel monies,
“Where’s the money?”
“When are you going to get the money?”
“Why aren't you getting the money now?”
...and so on. So please, the money.
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agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
Doesn't Know Whose Ring It Is
Posts: 21,989
Member is Online
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Post by agent817 on May 1, 2013 20:51:53 GMT -5
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on May 2, 2013 5:16:27 GMT -5
"WOAH, slow down, tubby. You're not on the moon, yet."
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Post by Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster on May 2, 2013 6:52:48 GMT -5
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Post by Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster on May 4, 2013 8:37:21 GMT -5
Chief Wiggum: [reading a tombstone, talks into his "radio"] Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Joe Friday: That's Homer J Simpson, chief. You're reading it upside down.
Chief Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
Joe Friday: Uh, chief, you're talking into your wallet.
[Chief Wiggum's wallet flips open]
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Tom Turkey
Ozymandius
The King of North America
Posts: 61,992
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Post by Tom Turkey on May 4, 2013 13:50:01 GMT -5
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on May 4, 2013 22:24:07 GMT -5
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on May 5, 2013 14:27:10 GMT -5
Marge: Homey, you know, it's funny. Both my mother and your father seem pretty lonely.
Homer: Hee hee hee! That is funny.
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Post by Father Dougal McGuire on May 6, 2013 12:26:05 GMT -5
Jay: So then I said to Woody Allen, “Well, Camus can do, but Sartre is smartre!”
Selma: So original.
Marge: How droll!
Homer: Yeah, well, “Scooby Doo can doo-doo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter.”
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Post by Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster on May 8, 2013 6:25:18 GMT -5
Marge: I'm worried about the kids, Homie. Lisa's becoming very obsessive. This morning I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat.
Homer: I know. And this perpetual-motion machine she made today is a joke. It just keeps going faster and faster.
Marge: And Bart isn't doing very well either. He needs boundaries and structure. There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome.
[Looks out window]
Bart: [creepily] Hello, mother dear.
Marge: That's it, we have to get them back to school.
Homer: I'm with you, Marge. Lisa, get in here.
[Lisa walks in]
Homer: In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
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Tom Turkey
Ozymandius
The King of North America
Posts: 61,992
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Post by Tom Turkey on May 8, 2013 8:23:36 GMT -5
Bart Simpson: I couldn't find much on our rivalry, but I did manage to get Millhouse on America's Most Wanted. Agent 1#: [driving toward school sees Millhouse playing on monkey bars] There he is on the monkey bars. Try to take him out alive. [the other FBI guy jams the gas pedal down and heads right towards the monkey bars. Many other children stat to flee while screaming] Milhouse Van Houten: Oh no! Not again. [jumps off just in time as the car smashes into them, causing them to break into a dozen parts] Bart: ...I did tip off the feds as to the whereabouts of our good friend Milhouse. /Inside a dam, Milhouse is confronted by a federal agent at gunpoint/ Milhouse: I'm telling you, I didn't do anything! Federal Agent: I don't care. /With his hands up, Milhouse takes a breath, then turns the other way and leaps off the dam and into the water below. As he lands somewhere we hear him exclaim, "My glasses!"/ |
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Post by Nerdkiller the threadkiller on May 10, 2013 11:01:56 GMT -5
"When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain getting damaged?"
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Post by Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster on May 11, 2013 2:57:57 GMT -5
[Smithers is at the police station after confessing to having shot Mr. Burns]
Smithers: And when he planned to steal our sunlight, he crossed that line between everyday villainy and cartoonish super-villainy.
Dr. Colossus: Bah! He was a rank amateur compared to... Dr. Colossus! AH-HA-HA, AH-HA-HA-HAAA...
[Laughing maniacally, he presses a button on his belt, "Colosso-Boots" and the soles of his boots extend at super speed - ramming his head into the ceiling]
Dr. Colossus: OW!
[groans]
Dr. Colossus: When is my lawyer coming?
Sideshow Mel: I am Melvin Van Horn. And this is my associate, Herschel Krustofsky.
Krusty the Clown: Hey-hey.
Sideshow Mel: Officers, you have arrested an innocent man!
Chief Wiggum: Really? Ah, jeez.
[Opens cell door]
Chief Wiggum: All right, Colossus, you're free to go. But stay away from Death Mountain.
Dr. Colossus: But all my stuff is there.
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