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Post by The Man They Call Asher on Jan 26, 2014 6:05:58 GMT -5
A video begins to play, showing a small, well-lit room containing a bed, a table and a few chairs. A television in the corner appears to be playing Sailor Moon. Ophelia Shadowgail is laying on the bed and appears to be in good health, though obviously unhappy with her current living situation. Sitting besides the bed on a chair, an unidentified dark haired and blue eyed woman applies neon-green nail polish to her fingernails and occasionally turns her head to the television. She finally finishes applying the nail polish and speaks to Ophelia.
“Woah, I knew neon-green was gonna suit you. Maybe it’s your colour, like how mine is blue.”
The woman chuckles and smiles, then looking towards an unknown male who is sitting on a chair in the other side of the room, appearing to be bored. He shared similar featured to the unnamed woman - dark hair and blue eyes. After briefly sighing, he speaks with a mid-western accent.
“Are you done watching Meatball Head and her gal pals? Feels like I’m at one of those girly slumber parties… and that makes me feel dirty.”
The woman rolls her eyes and picks up the remote, throwing it to the man who catches it and starts flicking through the channels.
“Hey, don’t you remember what mom and dad taught us? No throwing!”
He says in a voice mocking the dark haired woman who responds with a giggle. The man continues flicking through channels until he finally finds an interesting show: Breaking Bad.
“Finally, there is something on this stupid Canadian cable.”
“Ugh, this show is sooo overrated and boring.”
The woman says with disappointment in her voice. Suddenly the door swings open and David McLaren enters the room, dumping a pizza box on the table.
“Chow time.”
He casts a glare over at Ophelia on the bed as he pulls up a chair and sits down, flipping the box open. He looks at the other woman.
“How’s our guest behaving?”
The man looks towards David while the woman gets a slice of pizza to eat.
“Man, she is such a quiet one. You sure she isn’t a mute?”
“This is her own special form of resistance and defiance. Some people lash out when they’re in captivity like this. Others close up. But hey, the only mistake she made was getting engaged to the wrong guy, so if she wants to do a Charlie Chaplain impression, she’s more than welcome.”
David grabs a slice of pizza and leans back into his chair as Alice LeRoux enters the room, shutting the door behind her. She sits on David’s lap without a word and looks at the pizza, apparently not too impressed.
“Couldn’t we get some real food?”
“You go get it next time then. I’m just tryin’ to keep everyone fed. Speaking of which, Valley, feed our guest.”
“Of course, David.”
“Valley” finishes her slice of pizza, then picking up another slice and looking at Ophelia. She gestures her to sit up with her free hand, Ophelia listens to the order and sits up, she takes the slice and slowly eats it while “Valley” speaks to her.
“Good girl.”
“So the FAWA’s dedicating an entire night to one jobber getting the shit beat outta him, and it’s the opening of a god damn championship tournament. Can you believe that?”
David shakes his head.
“Are we entering?”
“We’ll start winning championships in due time, Alice. But for now we focus on Dupoe. He’s been quiet about this whole thing, but with our guest here, I’m sure he’ll become a bit more talkative. If not, I might just run the guy over with an eighteen-wheeler or something.”
“You sure he’s not trying to plan something? I mean, if he is trying to mastermind something against you, he’s really lacking some intelligence up there in that brain of his. Assuming he has a brain...”
The unnamed male replies before he begins to eat a slice of pizza. David lets out a soft chuckle, nodding his head.
“I have no doubt in my mind that he’s trying to plan something. But I don’t really care what he does, ‘cause no matter what happens, I will find a way to send him out of that arena on a stretcher, or better yet, in a body bag.”
David finishes speaking, then looks over at “Valley”.
“Anyways, you two need to get some ring time and I’ve got a call to make. Zack, you’re on watch.”
David nudges Alice who gets up from his lap. David stands and exits the room. “Zack” gets off his seat and sits on a seat next to his sister “Valley”, looking at Ophelia who finally finishes eating and lays back down on the bed.
“You know, laying after eating isn’t that healthy, girl. But considering your snowman-like skin, I don’t think you know a thing about health.”
He laughs along with his sister as the scene fades to black.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Feb 4, 2014 8:58:22 GMT -5
So it seems that my first match in this Round Robin Lord of the Ring Tournament is Scott Martin, who actually won the Beat The Clock Challenge while I finished second.
I could say that Justin Hole pissed me off and he got some extra beating for his troubles which is why I didn't beat the clock, but the fact of the matter is...I didn't care about what time I get. In fact, I never care about what time I get, I just do what I do best and that is hurt people. So Scott, you might want to consider that before you brag about having the best time.
Also, I have never gotten you back for you and your partner stealing the tag titles from Hydra of Evil (we'll get those belts back if MiscreAnt is ever fit to return to FAWA after what Antihero did) so I'm going to use tonight to give you the much deserved receipt for stealing those belts and your partner The Dream better stay out of the way because if he doesn't, well he might just suffer from a nightmare which he may never wake up from.
Be prepared for some pain and suffering.
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Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020 
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Post by Waffel113 on Feb 4, 2014 16:33:16 GMT -5
So it seems that my first match in this Round Robin Lord of the Ring Tournament is Scott Martin, who actually won the Beat The Clock Challenge while I finished second.
I could say that Justin Hole pissed me off and he got some extra beating for his troubles which is why I didn't beat the clock, but the fact of the matter is...I didn't care about what time I get. In fact, I never care about what time I get, I just do what I do best and that is hurt people. So Scott, you might want to consider that before you brag about having the best time.
Also, I have never gotten you back for you and your partner stealing the tag titles from Hydra of Evil (we'll get those belts back if MiscreAnt is ever fit to return to FAWA after what Antihero did) so I'm going to use tonight to give you the much deserved receipt for stealing those belts and your partner The Dream better stay out of the way because if he doesn't, well he might just suffer from a nightmare which he may never wake up from.
Be prepared for some pain and suffering. *Martin is in the back* You know Drakin? I think I've finally figured you out. You're a hypocrite. You come in here bitching and moaning about losing the Tag Team Championships...the very same Tag Team Championships you repeatedly referred to as, and I quote here, "Props" while you had them. It doesn't work both ways Seth. Hell, saying "you don't care" doesn't work either, because you care pretty deeply for, oh, let's say your wife, right? I seem to recall you being pretty broken up when Jonathan Michaels ambushed the two of you, but hey, that's neither here nor there right now. What's here is a match with a former World Champion. A match that I'm going to win if I have any intention of becoming Lord of the Ring. Frankly, I don't have a lot more to say, because I'd be wasting my breath. It's like ranting at a brick wall! Nothing's going to have an effect, but you gotta try, right? Actually, I think I have a more fitting analogy for you.*Martin pulls a match and compact out of a bag. He flicks the compact open, lights the match, and then extinguishes it* You know what that was, Seth? Smoke and mirrors. Your badass spiel ain't working on me champ, and it's not going to work on Niteraw. |
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Feb 4, 2014 18:29:45 GMT -5
So it seems that my first match in this Round Robin Lord of the Ring Tournament is Scott Martin, who actually won the Beat The Clock Challenge while I finished second.
I could say that Justin Hole pissed me off and he got some extra beating for his troubles which is why I didn't beat the clock, but the fact of the matter is...I didn't care about what time I get. In fact, I never care about what time I get, I just do what I do best and that is hurt people. So Scott, you might want to consider that before you brag about having the best time.
Also, I have never gotten you back for you and your partner stealing the tag titles from Hydra of Evil (we'll get those belts back if MiscreAnt is ever fit to return to FAWA after what Antihero did) so I'm going to use tonight to give you the much deserved receipt for stealing those belts and your partner The Dream better stay out of the way because if he doesn't, well he might just suffer from a nightmare which he may never wake up from.
Be prepared for some pain and suffering. *Martin is in the back* You know Drakin? I think I've finally figured you out. You're a hypocrite. You come in here bitching and moaning about losing the Tag Team Championships...the very same Tag Team Championships you repeatedly referred to as, and I quote here, "Props" while you had them. It doesn't work both ways Seth. Hell, saying "you don't care" doesn't work either, because you care pretty deeply for, oh, let's say your wife, right? I seem to recall you being pretty broken up when Jonathan Michaels ambushed the two of you, but hey, that's neither here nor there right now. What's here is a match with a former World Champion. A match that I'm going to win if I have any intention of becoming Lord of the Ring. Frankly, I don't have a lot more to say, because I'd be wasting my breath. It's like ranting at a brick wall! Nothing's going to have an effect, but you gotta try, right? Actually, I think I have a more fitting analogy for you.*Martin pulls a match and compact out of a bag. He flicks the compact open, lights the match, and then extinguishes it* You know what that was, Seth? Smoke and mirrors. Your badass spiel ain't working on me champ, and it's not going to work on Niteraw.
And I would recommend you leave my wife out of this because...people who do bring my wife into things, they don't end well for them. |
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Gus Richlen: Ruffian
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
BAU BAU
Posts: 39,304
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Post by Gus Richlen: Ruffian on Feb 5, 2014 12:04:16 GMT -5
Ah, the sweet sensation of finally getting a thorn out of my side.
Ah, the sweet sensation of being a Grand Slam Champion.
Ah well. Can't rest on my laurels.
Next week, the next step on my journey back to the top of the food chain.
Next week, Disturbance joins a long list of the victims of The Predator.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,420
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Feb 6, 2014 1:43:58 GMT -5
Lets not mince words, people.
I lost to Gus Richlen and have to live with that fact.
Now, if he could have pinned me legitimately, I wouldn't be as upset as I am. The fact remains that it took him four chances to beat me, which means Hayden is 3-1 when it comes to facing the little bastard.
But you see, what really gets me is the fact that Gus didn't choose the honorable path that he so dearly loves. Nope, when it came right down to it, when the TV Title was on the line and his pride was at stake, he resorted to cheating in order to make sure he walked out as the winner. He put his feet on the ropes for leverage because he knew he couldn't beat Hollywood's Own in a fair fight. And if you want proof, watch any of the matches I've had with him. Watch as I dissect him inside the ring with ease. And then tell me, with a straight face, that Gus earned that victory.
But you see, this is just another way that this company is screwing with me. Ever since I lost the World Title, a title that I never should have lost in the first place, this company has had it out for me. I get fired, I get rehired only to get screwed out of my rightful rematch, lose my shot at the FAN-Forums Title, end up losing the TV Title after shoddy officiating, and now that farce of a match last week. Now, they don't even want The Man In High Demand on Niteraw. They quietly pushed me to the side while trying to say that it's just the way this tournament works.
Well f*** that noise.
You see, if I was Antihero or Dupoe or any other sad sack in this tournament, then if be fine to get a week off. Give me a chance to rest, get my affairs in order, whatever it is that other people do. But for the King of Hollywood, the fact that I'm not on the card is an insult. I made this company off of my blood, sweat, and tears in my first year in this company. I made people come in droves to the Parts Unknown Arena to witness greatness every night. I was the King of Television for seven straight weeks, and to this day I am the longest reigning Television Champion in this company's history. So it's high f***ing time that I get the respect that I earned, especially from my so-called competition.
Because while Hamala have his camel clutch, I have The End. While Scott Martin may have a cocky swagger, I have the confidence of ten Richard Shermans. Dupoe and Disturbance got beat by The Dream of all people, and that halfwit didn't understand peekaboo until he was fourteen. And as for Drakin.... I got a bone to pick with you already. You're the bastard that stole my title right from under me, and I never forgot that. You may think of me as "less-than", but the second you stare across me inside the ring, I'm gonna show you why I'm the Main Event, the Highlight of the Night, and above all, the best athlete that FAWA has ever or will ever see.
This tournament is just an excuse to see who gets the privilege of coming in second place to me. This is my tournament, this is my shot at reclaiming my title, and if anyone tries to pull the same crap that Gussy boy pulled out there, then they'll find themselves on the wrong end of The End. And given that it took Anthony Travizzio right out of the company, I'd say it means the end of whatever glimmer of hope that you might have of beating me.
There's one loss on my record. And it's gonna stay that way for a long, long time.
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Post by The Man They Call Asher on Feb 6, 2014 4:26:20 GMT -5
The scene opens with the two unproperly named dark haired and blue eyed siblings. The older brother only known as “Zack” sits on the couch, channel surfing with the remote in his hand while his younger sister “Valley” sits on the other side of the couch with her legs crossed as she reads a book. She places the book down and looks at her brother.
“Guess what’s happening next week?”
Her brother turns his head from the television and looks down at his sister.
“I dunno. You’re gonna dye your hair for the twenty-seventh time?”
“No but since you do mention that, I was thinking of going blonde again or… blonde with blue!”
“If you keep dying your hair, you are gonna go bald thanks to all that damage. So what’s happening next week?”
She folds her arms.
“It’s my birthday. You always forget the dates of everything, jerk.”
“Well, excuse me. I’m the one who got kicked in the head various times by those crazy Japanese dudes.”
“I don’t care. You always forgot it… just like everybody else did.”
“Stop exaggerating, you brat.”
“Oh, I’m the brat? Says the favourite.”
“Shut up, I’m not the favourite!”
“Bullshit!”
A loud clapping noise is heard as David McLaren and Alice LeRoux enter the room.
“Hey hey hey! Lock it down! Just what the hell is the problem?”
“Zack” looks at David and rolls his eyes.
“Val’s being annoying as usual.”
“Don’t blame it on me, you’re the idiot who forgets everything, including your sister’s birthday.”
David looks at “Valley”.
“It’s next week right?”
She nods.
“Yes, the twelfth of February. I think that is a Wednesday.”
“Zack” quietly adds.
“I thought it was the thirteenth...”
“Even I remembered. You two are family, so Zack in the future, remember her damn birthday if you don’t want to be fighting over this every damn year. And in the future, keep the freakin’ noise down.”
“Okay man but you want us to keep the noise down? Don’t you and Alice know much noise the two of you make during “sex…. err happy times”?”
“Valley” covers her mouth tries her hardest not to laugh at her brother’s comment. Alice gasps and hides behind David out of sheer embarrassment as he shoots a glare “Zack”’s way.
“You should know by now that just about every physical thing I do makes someone scream for one reason or another. Are you really surprised?”
"...Nope.”
Both siblings answer, trying not to laugh at the awkwardness. “Zack” then spoke.
“Let’s change to another topic, I can see how Alice feels about this conversation. How’s that Ophelia girl doing now? Still acting like a mute?”
David and Alice wander over to the couch opposite the siblings, sitting down. David answers as Alice snuggles into him.
“She’s fine, I just fed her. She did ask when she’ll be allowed to go home, but that’s about it.”
David shrugs, glancing over at the TV.
“Has that fiancee of hers even made another response yet? How long is this gonna go on for?”
“Zack’s right. I know you wanna make him suffer for what he did to Alice however, this whole thing is a bit strange.”
“Yeah it’s a bit strange, but none of us are exactly normal, are we? He responded, told some lame story about a guy stealing a book, said he’d eviscerate me or something along those lines. We’ll put a response together for Niteraw. Happy?”
David looks over at the siblings with a raised eyebrow. “Zack” takes a moment to think, before nodding in agreement.
“Sure, let’s do that.”
David nods, looking at “Valley”.
“So Val, what are we doing for your birthday?”
“Oooh, I don’t know. Anything would be fine, even if it was like a movie or something. I honestly have no idea what I want though.”
She says, while scratching the back of her head while “Zack” sighs.
“You make a big deal out of me forgetting it when you don’t know what you wanna do.”
“Shut up, Zacky. You know I’m happy with what people usually suggest.”
“I guess it explains that dumb green hair colour you had a while ago...”
“Oh really? What about you? Don’t you remember that blonde emo thing you had a couple of years ago?”
“That did NOT happen, we talked about that!”
“It happened in 2006. When that girlfriend of yours had that bizarre K-pop obsession. You so wanted to please her.”
“Shut up! Why do you do this?”
“Why do I do this? Why do you do this? You always mention stupid things from a long time ago!”
“God, you’re always so annoying, can’t you just-”
Alice suddenly springs to her feet.
“Oh my god can’t you two just STOP. FIGHTING?!?!”
David recoils a little where he sits, as he looks up at Alice with a shocked expression. Meanwhile, the siblings are shocked and speechless.
“Err… sorry Alice.”
“We’ll stop arguing…”
Alice brushes her hair out of her face as David stands up beside her, putting his arm around her as he smiles, she turns to look at him.
“I’m sorry, they just-..”
David interrupts her by pressing his index finger to her lips.
“Don’t apologise, it was perfect. You want to head upstairs for a little bit?”
Alice smiles, nodding gently, David takes her hand and leads her out of the room as the siblings trade horrified looks. “Valley” quickly gets off the couch and starts digging into the nearby drawer.
“Where the hell are the ear plugs?”
“They should be somewhere in there. I’ve got better plans...”
“Zack” picks up a headset from the table, puts it on his head and plugs it into his phone while his sister manages to find the ear plugs, puts them in and returns to the couch, continuing to read her book as the scene fades out.
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Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846 
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Post by Heartbreaker on Feb 13, 2014 6:30:12 GMT -5
We find ourselves in the living room of David McLaren’s that has a couple of black and blue balloons and streamers scattered all over the place and a few half empty pizza boxes placed on the coffee table. Sitting on the couch were the brother and sister duo only known as “Zack” and “Valley”. “Valley” keeps her hands placed on her lap and smiles while her older brother sits beside her, checking on Ophelia who’s still tied to a chair and looking miserable while wearing a party hat.
“Not everyday that you see a goth wearing a party hat.”
“Be thankful that this happened around my birthday or else you wouldn’t get the image.”
“Zack” sighs.
“Yeah yeah, whatever. Do you know where Dave and Alice went?”
“I’m honestly unsure.”
The door opens, Alice LeRoux walks through it with a couple of gift-wrapped boxes in her arms. David McLaren isn’t far behind, likewise with boxes in his arms, his shoulder holding a mobile phone to his ear.
“A bucket of.. Wow that’s f***ed up. I hope when you catch up to her, you bring an ass-kicking with you.”
Alice sets the boxes she’s carrying on the ground, turning around and casting a death-glare at David.
“Get off the phone, it’s Val’s birthday!”
David leans down and sets his boxes down, taking hold of his phone.
“Alright look I gotta go, take it easy yeah? Right, see you.”
David hangs up the phone, looking at Alice.
“There, chill.”
“Where were you guys? It’s like you both randomly disappeared.”
“Hey Dave. Hey Ally.”
“Valley” says with a smile while her brother looks on in confusion.
“Well being that it’s a special day and all, we had certain errands to run. And look, we come bearing gifts.”
David nudges one of the boxes towards “Valley” with his foot, Alice points excitedly towards it.
“That one’s from me!”
“Valley” picks up the box, upwrapping it to reveal a shoe box. She opens the box to find a pair of light-blue high heeled shoes.
“Oooh, these look really cool. Thanks Alice!”
“Great, more shoes for you to leave all over the place...”
“Shut up Rob. Really, these are so cool!”
David picks up another one of the boxes and passes it to “Valley”.
“And that one’s from me. Enjoy.”
“Thanks Dave.”
“Valley” grabs the gift and places it onto her lap, quickly unwrapping it and opening the box to reveal a folded up piece of material. “Valley” grabs the material and unfolds it which shows it to be white and light-blue with four red stars - the Chicago flag.
“Oh my god, I love it! Thanks so so much, Dave. We so gotta hang this somewhere around here.”
“Ahh, Chicago. I miss that place. Don’t miss the people though...”
“Don’t remind me, Rob. However, Violet sent me a gift earlier this week. A really pretty blue dress.”
“Jee, I wonder how our little sis is handling it at home.”
David wanders over to where Ophelia is sitting, putting his hand on her shoulder.
“That last one there is from Ophelia here. She’s very thoughtful isn’t she?”
David pats her on the shoulder a couple of times.
“Why thank you Ophelia.”
“Valley” answers with a tone of sarcasm in her voice and a laugh. She opens the gift box to find a sleeveless white blouse.
“Hopefully this cold weather ends soon because this blouse is so cute. Thanks for the gifts, guys. Been a pretty cool birthday. Believe it or not, Zack actually remembered to get me something.”
“Oh for god’s sake, why don’t you tell the whole world? I got you a bunch of Walking Dead comics, get over it. Anyway... Dave, we still keeping this Ophelia chick here? I thought we already heard from her boyfriend or husband or whatever his name is.”
“Hey c’mon let’s not ruin the party with all this shop-talk, Zack. Let’s have some fun!”
“Zack” simply sighs before replying.
“Yeah, sure. You know I’m a little impatient with all of this waiting, I just want to debut in FAWA already. Sorry bro.”
“Zack” leans over the table to grab a slice of pizza. Meanwhile, his sister is enjoying a conversation with Alice. These siblings continue to remain unknown the question is, who actually are these people? |
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Post by The Man They Call Asher on Feb 14, 2014 9:59:04 GMT -5
We once again find ourselves in the residence of David McLaren. The lights are low and the place is illuminated by candles. A whole hell of a lot of candles. The front door opens and David McLaren steps inside, shutting the door behind him. He doesn't make it four steps before he's pounced on by Alice LeRoux who wraps her arms and legs around him, kissing him repeatedly. After a little while David moves his head back some, showing a confused expression.
“Alice, what are you doing?”
“Don't you know what day it is?!”
David pauses for a moment, looking around the room and then back to Alice, still just as bewildered as before.
“..Friday?”
Alice's head sinks and she drops down, turning away, apparently hurt by David's apathy. He puts his hand on her shoulder and moves around in front of her, turning her chin up with his right hand.
“Hey what's wrong?”
“I sent Zack and Val away and I made dinner and I lit all these candles... I wanted tonight to be special...”
David still doesn't catch on, just staring into Alice's eyes.
“Well I know it's not your birthday...”
“It's Valentines Day!”
David pauses for a moment before responding.
“..Right! I knew that, baby. I was just messing with you. Happy Valentines Day!”
Alice smiles, hopping up and wrapping her arms and legs around David once again, kissing him even more frantically than before. He moves his arms under her to hold her up as he stumbles back into the next room.
. . .
Several hours later, the siblings known as “Zack” and “Val” open the front door with boxes of popcorn and Coke drink cups in their hands. Before making their way into the living room, they look at each other and speak.
“Ugh, I knew the RoboCop remake would suck. What a waste of cash, well, Alice’s cash.”
“Why couldn’t we watch the Lego movie? Or Frozen?”
“We’ve seen Frozen twice already. You are obsessed with Disney films.”
The siblings turn around and take a couple of steps into the living room… to find it torn up and messy. “Zack” shakes his head while “Valley”’s jaw drops.
“...I don’t know what I expected. Goddammit. I’m not cleaning this mess.”
“Eww. I’m not finishing this pop-corn… I lost my appetite. I think I’m gonna be sick...”
Both siblings sigh while placing their pop-corn and drinks onto the coffee table which has melted candles and some items of clothing placed all over it.
“Dave! Alice! You gonna clean up the ground zero zone in here?”
David enters the room from the opposite side of “Zack” and “Val” in nothing but a pair of jeans, his hair is messy and he looks slightly disoriented.
“Oh hi.. What’s the problem?”
“Valley”’s eyes widen as her brother folds his arms and speaks.
“I don’t care what you lovers do but is destroying the entire place necessary? I wanted to watch a hockey game...”
David looks around the room for a moment, rubbing his eye with his right hand.
“Yeah I’m sorry.. It’s Valentines Day or something.. I don’t know.. TV might still work.. I need to go lay down now..”
David turns around, revealing nasty scratch-marks on his back, some of them even bleeding. He walks around the corner and out of the room, leaving the unidentified siblings alone. They both gasp then cringe which leads to “Zack” grabbing his sister by the wrist and walking towards the front door with “Valley” being dragged behind.
“Screw it, we’re gonna watch Frozen for the third time.” |
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Post by ScorpiAnt on Feb 28, 2014 16:43:56 GMT -5
*ScorpiAnt walks in smoothing out his outfit.*
Oh, hi there mister camera man, how are you? Good, that's good, because you wont be for long. Why you ask? Because I'm in a bad mood, that's why. Because you see, I'm pissed, horrible mood you see. For over in the 101Colony, I haven't won a single blasted thing in lets see, OVER A YEAR! NOT ONCE HAVE I HELD A BELT! But, that's all gonna change here, for you, see, I'm gonna take over. I'm gonna come in here, just a simple walk in, and take any belt I want. How, you ask is this possible? you see, it's possible, because I'm simply smarter then most of the men here. You see, I'm here to rid this place of the weak, and that's what most of you are, WEAK! So, I'll rid you of your weakness, I'll make you true men, and women, I'll make you true yous. So, step up, this is an open challenge, to rid of your weakness, I am here. I'll take your belts, show you true strength, and make you who you should be, because honestly, MOST OF YOU DISGUST ME! YOU'RE WEAK! I'VE STEPPED ON DOG CRAP BETTER THEN SOME OF YOU! So, step up, who's first? It's up to you.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Mar 18, 2014 15:52:46 GMT -5
One match down, one more match to go. The 2014 Lord of the Ring crown as well as the World Heavyweight Title will be mine.
Scott, I guess you saw just what I am willing to do to accomplish that goal. One Tale's End and it was all over for you. So let's see who the other winner was?
Oh, it was good old Gus Richlen. Seems fitting that I would see you here since my last world title win came at the cost of your pride. You had to tell me you respect me because you were too focused on Michael Hayden. In the fatal four way between two more unfortunate souls, I will win and become the three time world champion and add the Lord of the Ring as one more cap to my resume. In fact, when I win, maybe I should have a coronation...it would be one that is beautiful. Well, that would be beautiful in my eyes.
I guess Gussy Wussy is going to fall again.
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Apr 15, 2014 17:03:46 GMT -5
2012
[We cut to a WGN Newscast. A female anchor is delivering news]
News Anchor: And that accident on i-90 looks horrible Jim. And....in breaking news this evening. A FAWA professional wrestler has gone missing. Smokin Vokoun, real name Alex Vokoun, former two time FAWA Hardcore Champion, has been reported missing by FAWA officials. Smokin Vokoun, known as one of the most violent and brutal wrestlers in the world who also has a reputation for being a recluse and a free spirit for all of his career. FAWA owners don't have a clue on where he could possibly be or if he is even alive.
Cut to circa 2012 Aaron Enigma
Enigma: It's just like him. He will be here one minute and be gone the next. I'm not surprised he disappeared.
Cut to circa 2012 Boiler Room Brawler
Brawler: He's a great performer, i know, I've wrestled him several times. But he's been unreliable. He's unstable. He can't be trusted and he's not responsible with our time and our money. And I have to talk to the board to see wither or not we release him or not. It's just a shame.
For two years, no one knew where Smokin Vokoun was. Or even if he was alive or dead. Until one day, a familiar face arrived on the scene.
2014
We cut to a little motel room. There is commotion in the bathroom. A flushing sound can be heard. The door opens, it's LOU THESZ III. Former trainer and manager of Smokin Vokoun. We see him walk to the bed and looks at the camera.
Thesz: I realize that it's been two years. And I know wrestling fan's brains can't remember anything as far back as 6 weeks ago. But my name, is Lou Thesz III. For those who don't know, I was once a championship trainer and championship manager of Viva Inc. But more importantly, I was the mentor of the most brutal, most deadly, and the most unhinged professional wrestler on God's green Earth, Smokin Vokoun. When I first saw him late 2011, all he was, was just a hunk of fat flesh who only knew two things in life; how to fight and how to take an ass whipping. Hell, when he came to me, he was already the greatest hardcore wrestler the damn promotion had ever seen and no one ever gave him the proper respect. So he came to me. He said to me, "Make me not only the most deadliest wrestler, but the greatest wrestler". And brother, let me tell you, that's exactly what I did. I took a man, who would injure and maim every single sparring partner he ever had because he didn't know better. Into an accomplished pro wrestler. And damn it, he was the best thing I'd ever seen. He would have been World Champion eventually.
However, despite beating everybody in his path, the one thing that he couldn't beat...was himself. He was never known for patience. He never could wait, he HAD to be World Champion now....and thus, he never was. No one could control him, I couldn't control him....and he couldn't control himself. And so two years ago he left the company and ME high and dry. Well my life went into a tailspin after that. I lost my money, my house, my wife, my kids. All because I hinged my entire future, on Smokin Vokoun. I'm dead broke, living out of my car and I have no where else to go. The only thing I have left is that damn cutlass. And the only reason I can pay gas money on it, is because of the few spot wrestling shows I am booked at. Heck, the only reason I was able to get this Motel 6 room, was because Marty Jannetty felt sorry for me. And let me tell you brother, if Marty F***king Jannetty feels sorry for you, then, live ran away from you.
But despite Vokoun ruining my life, I realized that, I needed him. And he probably needs me. It's time for a comeback. The time is right for the FAWA to welcome ME back into the fold again. And I will be anyone's manager if need be. But I'm not coming back alone. Because it is my goal in life...TO BRING SMOKIN VOKOUN BACK HOME..TO THE FAWA!!!!!
So I'm here in Chicago, because I figure that's the best place to start...but unfortunately, it's been difficult. But I...
The motel phone rings. Thesz answers it.
Yeah? Who is this? Come on don't joke with me? Okay...okay I will be there soon.
Thesz hangs up the phone.
Well....time to go. I don't know what to expect but....you never know.
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Apr 17, 2014 19:45:37 GMT -5
We cut to a dark ally in Chicago. It's all quiet...then all of a sudden Lou Thesz III appears in the distance. He then screams at the top of his lungs and runs straight to the camera. He gets so close that his entire face is fills the screen.
I hope all of you are ready for this. Because I'm not sure I am. But he's coming....FAWA....he's coming back. All I got to say is....
Smokey's gonnnnna kiiiiilllll yoooooou. Smokey's gonnnnnnna kiiiiilllll yooooooou.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Apr 17, 2014 23:07:25 GMT -5
So it seems the finals of the Lord of the Ring and the World Title Match are set. It will be Gus Richlen vs. Jeremy Dupoe vs. Michael Hayden vs. Me.
Dupoe...I don't know if you and I have ever fought before, but it doesn't matter because with all your cultish nature, you don't have the talent to win. So you beat that loser Jan Hamala, so what? You haven't even come close to beating the men I have beaten. I have beaten world champions aplenty. I am a two time world champion. You haven't even held that belt once! And unlike that drone BRB, you will not be able to possess me with that Disturbance crap.
Hayden...congratulations on beating Jonathan Michaels. I can tell you that beating him is not an easy thing to do. However, you are facing the man who beat him at Gookermania VI inside the Hell in a Cell. You are facing the man with whom in FAWA, you have NEVER defeated. You are in the same situation you were where Gus and I are in a match and I won that match. Just add Dupoe and I will also win that match.
Bottom line is no matter if it is Hayden who falls at my feet, if it is Dupoe who fails to be anything, or if it is Gus who once again proves to be inferior, I will be the one who is on the throne as 2014 Lord of the Ring and I will be the first ever THREE TIME World Heavyweight Champion.
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Apr 28, 2014 13:41:21 GMT -5
We cut to Lou Thesz III sitting on a stool in a dark ally. In the distance, we see a shadow...motionless
You know, I've noticed something, quite....quite odd around here. EEEEVEER since I announced to the world that Smokin Vokoun was coming back, this whoooole place, got quite. Hell, it's been quite for two weeks now. NOTHING IS GOING ON AROUND HERE!!! I think that boring stiff Seth Drakin, might have said some words, I don't know, I think he put me to sleep, just like he's always put me to sleep. How in the hell did you become a Gookermania main eventer? While Smokin Vokoun had to bleed to death to get noticed. YOU HELD HIM BACK!!! Just like everyone else did. But despite all of that, Smokin Vokoun, put fear in everyone, including, Drakin, including Michaels, including Enigma, including Amigo, including Jazzman, including Boiler Room Brawler. And guess what...THEY'RE ALL GONE!!! And all the new people here, they don't want anything to do with Vokoun.
I think he has sent this whole promotion into a panic, because no one is talking. Every one has shit themselves, trembling in fear, hoping to THE GOD LORD ABOVE....that Smokin Vokoun doesn't beat him, call them out...or both. Because they all know, that they can't hold a candle to Smokin Vokoun. They don't want to see their own career's flash before their eyes. THEY DON'T TO DIE UNDER HIS HANDS!!!! That's why no one is talking. The FAWA is a graveyard...and Smokin Vokoun will be the gravedigger.
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Gus Richlen: Ruffian
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
BAU BAU
Posts: 39,304
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Post by Gus Richlen: Ruffian on Apr 28, 2014 13:48:42 GMT -5
We cut to Lou Thesz III sitting on a stool in a dark ally. In the distance, we see a shadow...motionless You know, I've noticed something, quite....quite odd around here. EEEEVEER since I announced to the world that Smokin Vokoun was coming back, this whoooole place, got quite. Hell, it's been quite for two weeks now. NOTHING IS GOING ON AROUND HERE!!! I think that boring stiff Seth Drakin, might have said some words, I don't know, I think he put me to sleep, just like he's always put me to sleep.
I think Vokoun has sent this whole promotion into a panic, because no one is talking. Every one has shit themselves, trembling in fear, hoping to THE GOD LORD ABOVE....that Smokin Vokoun doesn't beat him, call them out...or both. Because they all know, that they can't hold a candle to Smokin Vokoun. They don't want to see their own career's flash before their eyes. THEY DON'T TO DIE UNDER HIS HANDS!!!! That's why no one is talking. The FAWA is a graveyard...and Smokin Vokoun will be the gravedigger. |
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Apr 28, 2014 14:02:11 GMT -5
We cut to Lou Thesz III sitting on a stool in a dark ally. In the distance, we see a shadow...motionless You know, I've noticed something, quite....quite odd around here. EEEEVEER since I announced to the world that Smokin Vokoun was coming back, this whoooole place, got quite. Hell, it's been quite for two weeks now. NOTHING IS GOING ON AROUND HERE!!! I think that boring stiff Seth Drakin, might have said some words, I don't know, I think he put me to sleep, just like he's always put me to sleep.
I think Vokoun has sent this whole promotion into a panic, because no one is talking. Every one has shit themselves, trembling in fear, hoping to THE GOD LORD ABOVE....that Smokin Vokoun doesn't beat him, call them out...or both. Because they all know, that they can't hold a candle to Smokin Vokoun. They don't want to see their own career's flash before their eyes. THEY DON'T TO DIE UNDER HIS HANDS!!!! That's why no one is talking. The FAWA is a graveyard...and Smokin Vokoun will be the gravedigger. |
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Gus Richlen: Ruffian
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
BAU BAU
Posts: 39,304
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Post by Gus Richlen: Ruffian on Apr 28, 2014 14:10:35 GMT -5
Hard to panic when you simply disappear and then expect everyone to run scared when you come back....
Oh well. |
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Apr 28, 2014 14:34:15 GMT -5
Heh, hey look. Someone actually has some balls for a change. I mean, they're not much, but you have em'. I think I might have found my man's first victim in his comeback. Because, he was the master of the shutting people up with big mouths and no way to back them up.
Oh well. |
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Apr 28, 2014 15:25:59 GMT -5
I have to say...I don't know what to say. I say what I say and living up to what I say by beating everyone who is foolish enough to try and dethrone me as the best. Yet the only TWO people who seem to be speaking are a washed-up trainer who is searching for his client like he is in some failed romance film and a girl who I have tortured to the point that I am sure she still wakes up in a cold sweat at the thought of my actions and I have also basically embarrassed her boyfriend so many times lately that I have lost count.
All the while, the "real" people are all silent.
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