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Post by dlg3000 on Apr 29, 2013 20:38:55 GMT -5
Do nice guys REALLY finish last in reality?
I personally do not know but the nice guy to me would be marriage material. The good husband, boyfriend, provider, loyal, faithful, and in reality, flawed. Britney Spears' song "Criminal" is about her illogical feelings for a criminal, the ultimate bad boy. The guy would not be husband material and not a good person, so he would be more than flawed.
Why do so many of us like the bad boys? It is no secret that I like the bad boys or at least those who are rumored to be bad boys like Mickey Rourke and Vampiro. Both of them are or were reportedly unprofessional pricks who have a reputation for ticking off a lot of people to putting it mildly. Neither of them are guys I would marry for that reason alone. There is also the story of Mickey beating his ex-wife and using drugs. Those are big turn offs yet I find him quite sexy even after all these years, especially when he was in "Iron Man 2". I watched the movie last night and he was the best part of the movie.
Anyways, is there anything wrong with finding a bad boy attractive or liking a bad boy, no matter how bad? Is there something logical or even biological about a woman liking a bad boy?
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Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
Posts: 4,785
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Post by Dat Dude on Apr 29, 2013 20:57:32 GMT -5
"Bad boys" have something so-called "nice guys" don't: Confidence. Men can be confused by what women really want, but the honest truth is regardless of individual preferences, all women are attracted to confidence and are turned off by men with low self-esteem.
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Thaal Sinestro
Hank Scorpio
In Brightest Night, In Blackest Day. Etc.
Posts: 5,012
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Post by Thaal Sinestro on Apr 29, 2013 20:57:52 GMT -5
Stupidity causes this dysfunction mostly.
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Post by Shy Guy on Apr 29, 2013 21:03:02 GMT -5
i've been with both the "bad boy", and the "good guy".
the good guy hurt me more than the bad boy
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Glitch
Grimlock
Not Going To Die; Childs, we're goin' out to give Blair the test. If he tries to make it back here and we're not with him... burn him.
Watching you.
Posts: 12,789 
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Post by Glitch on Apr 29, 2013 21:03:33 GMT -5
The same reason some guys like bad girls.
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Post by "Trickster Dogg" James Jesse on Apr 29, 2013 21:07:13 GMT -5
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Post by Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster on Apr 29, 2013 21:11:07 GMT -5
I always thought the whole nice guys finish last thing is total bullshit when you consider that most guys who I would consider to be actual nice guys do just fine when to comes to women.
But thing is most of the guys I've known who cling on to the whole I'm such a nice guy women tend to not to be so nice when shit doesn't go there ways and being nice won't make up for being dull,looking like slob and being totally insecure about themselves. That and many them seem to think that because their nice women should be lining up around the block wanting to f*** them.
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Apr 29, 2013 21:17:59 GMT -5
Bad boys, bad boys. What are you going to do? What are you gonna do when they come for you?
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mizerable
Fry's dog Seymour
You're the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest.
Posts: 23,475
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Post by mizerable on Apr 29, 2013 21:18:31 GMT -5
I've been both to women.
I certainly prefer being bad. Being good is dumb and it basically sets you up to be a doormat. Some women honestly enjoy guys who take control.
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Apr 29, 2013 21:22:49 GMT -5
I've certainly seen it happen, but my definition of "bad guy" is defined as "is a criminal". in my experience, most guys who complain about it just complain because the girl they want is with someone else, and they're trying to convince themselves they're a better choice by mentally demonizing the poor schmuck.
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mizerable
Fry's dog Seymour
You're the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest.
Posts: 23,475
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Post by mizerable on Apr 29, 2013 21:24:50 GMT -5
And nice guys do indeed finish last.
After about 200 or 300 bad boys, the woman finally gets tired of being treated like shit and finds herself a nice guy.
Unfortunately for the nice guy, her vagina by this point resembles a broken water balloon.
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Post by "Trickster Dogg" James Jesse on Apr 29, 2013 21:29:53 GMT -5
I've been both to women. I certainly prefer being bad. Being good is dumb and it basically sets you up to be a doormat. Some women honestly enjoy guys who take control. |
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FinalGwen
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Particularly fond of muffins.
Posts: 16,545 
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Post by FinalGwen on Apr 29, 2013 21:32:49 GMT -5
The "nice guy finishes last" thing probably seems so widespread because the "nice guys" without girlfriends are the ones whining about it everywhere, whereas those in relationships have no reason to be quite so vocal.
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Mac
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sigs/Avatars cannot exceed 1MB
Posts: 16,502
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Post by Mac on Apr 29, 2013 21:35:15 GMT -5
Im a good guy and Ive always done pretty well. To be honest it's not so much being the bad boy as it is having confidence and giving a girl something to care about. In the end we're all animals with primal urges and needs that are beyond our control.
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Apr 29, 2013 21:38:59 GMT -5
The "nice guy finishes last" thing probably seems so widespread because the "nice guys" without girlfriends are the ones whining about it everywhere, whereas those in relationships have no reason to be quite so vocal. never really thought of it that way. it's an interesting point. and being legitimately nice guys it's unlikely they'd complain if they WERE single. y'know, I used to be one of those "Nice Guys Finish Last" types in high school, and even in the first few years of college. and I still don't have anyone, but I'm glad I grew out of that way of thinking. it's so self-defeating. it's a problem you can actually do something about if you're inclined, and trying to blame your own failings on some farcical "bad boy" is just a loser's game. |
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Post by Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster on Apr 29, 2013 21:43:11 GMT -5
I think its more those nice guys just aren't human doormats.
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FinalGwen
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Particularly fond of muffins.
Posts: 16,545
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Post by FinalGwen on Apr 29, 2013 21:54:54 GMT -5
The "nice guy finishes last" thing probably seems so widespread because the "nice guys" without girlfriends are the ones whining about it everywhere, whereas those in relationships have no reason to be quite so vocal. never really thought of it that way. it's an interesting point. and being legitimately nice guys it's unlikely they'd complain if they WERE single. y'know, I used to be one of those "Nice Guys Finish Last" types in high school, and even in the first few years of college. and I still don't have anyone, but I'm glad I grew out of that way of thinking. it's so self-defeating. it's a problem you can actually do something about if you're inclined, and trying to blame your own failings on some farcical "bad boy" is just a loser's game. Very true. There was a point in my life I believed it too, which I'm still quite ashamed of. It's a way of shifting blame, in the same way that "put in the friend zone" is a way of making unrequited love seem like something bad the girl is responsible for. |
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Glitch
Grimlock
Not Going To Die; Childs, we're goin' out to give Blair the test. If he tries to make it back here and we're not with him... burn him.
Watching you.
Posts: 12,789
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Post by Glitch on Apr 29, 2013 21:59:16 GMT -5
These self proclaimed "nice guys" are giving actual nice guys a bad name.
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Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
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Post by Heartbreaker on Apr 29, 2013 22:06:46 GMT -5
If you put on an act where you act all nice and caring just to get in a girl's pants, you're a ****ing asshole. It anything "bad boys" are more caring than those so called "nice guys".
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Post by Piccolo on Apr 29, 2013 22:14:05 GMT -5
"Nice guys" in the internet sense finish last, because they're unattractive. Unattractive not meaning looks, but meaning insecure, desperate, puts a ton of pressure on you, and has a bitter attitude about women. Let's compare the three types of dating partners, and why a woman might be with a bad boy rather than a nice guy, but would really prefer something else entirely.
I propose that there are good guys, nice guys, and bad boys. We know the latter two, so to define the first, a good guy is sweet, respectful, confident, and responsible. In terms of confidence and "taking control", a good guy takes control of a situation in a way that makes a woman feel like it's a gift rather than a power play; he's got this, and she can relax. If she's uneasy about anything, though, she feels comfortable telling him. A bad boy takes control in a way that makes her feel a little nervous, like she doesn't know how this is gonna turn out, but she also doesn't really want to argue with him about it. A "nice guy" never takes control at all, and she has to navigate the situation for them both. Who do you think she's gonna trust when she needs someone to lean on? If she's got no one else, she might turn to the bad boy, but if she's got a choice, it's gonna be the good guy. The nice guy, what can he do? He can barely take care of himself, she can't rely on him.
When it comes to the physical stuff, a good guy approaches her in such a way that she feels both wanted and respected. He's safe, he's passionate, he respects her boundaries regarding comfort/pain, and he maintains the aura of "I really like what we do in bed, but I also enjoy making dinner with you, cuddling with you, hiking with you, and doing just about anything with you." A bad boy brings the passion, and he may be respectful of her, but she's never quite sure where she stands with him. It's fun, but not secure. The nice guy hovers around, hoping she'll initiate, or when he initiates, it's awkward and tentative. Whether true or not, the impression he gives off is that all the other stuff they do together is just window dressing for the sex he hopes to get from her. Again... bad boy is 2nd best, nice guy doesn't rate, but the good guy is by far the favorite.
With her friends, the "nice guy" kind of hangs on her, or shows her off to his friends. He got a catch, and he's jealous if other guys talk to her because he might be "losing her." The bad boy doesn't care who she talks to... he's got her on the hook, he knows she's not straying. And if she does, meh, he'll just find someone else. The good guy folds her into his circle of friends and is open and friendly with her circle. He's not threatened by her platonic guy friends, and is equally platonic with his girl friends, so the comfort level is easy and pleasant. So with the bad boy, at least she can keep her friends without significant awkwardness... he's a better choice than the "nice guy." But the good guy is still the best.
Nice guys shouldn't strive to be bad boys... bad boys are whatever. Women will be with them over a nice guy, but it's hard to ever be satisfied with a bad boy. What nice guys should strive to become are good guys.
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