Juice
El Dandy
Wrong? Oh he can tell ya about being wrong.
I'm the one who raised you from perdition.
Posts: 8,172
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Post by Juice on Mar 20, 2017 18:34:32 GMT -5
Yeah, I'll throw that in, as well; maybe I just happen to frequent my neighborhood bars more frequently than others, but the array of people you meet at bars can be enormous. Granted, I do live in a city, so maybe it's a different range of personality types and what have you, but it's best not to make assumptions like that, there's no one single "type" of person who likes to go out to bars. Also small towns are surrounded by other small towns and everyone hits the same bars up. Sometimes its the only social event. Thats where i live if it wasnt for people going out to bars we would be cow tipping. |
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Post by psychokiller on Mar 20, 2017 19:20:52 GMT -5
In my experience a lot of women tend to be more attracted to a great personality than physical traits. If you're a generally negative person, it could be why you're be struggling to find anyone interested. I definitely want a woman to love my personality, but I also would really like her to find me physically attractive as well. It's like a 50/50 thing for me where I'd need for her to have both towards me since I don't want to be way more into a woman than she is me. She'll have all the power in the relationship that way. |
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Post by Starshine on Mar 20, 2017 19:43:36 GMT -5
In my experience a lot of women tend to be more attracted to a great personality than physical traits. If you're a generally negative person, it could be why you're be struggling to find anyone interested. I definitely want a woman to love my personality, but I also would really like her to find me physically attractive as well. It's like a 50/50 thing for me where I'd need for her to have both towards me since I don't want to be way more into a woman than she is me. She'll have all the power in the relationship that way. Power in a relationship is spread only so far as those involved are willing to let it. Worse comes to worse, you should always be able to walk away. Also if someone wants to be with you you, why does it matter what attracts them? If you split hairs that much, you might struggle to find anyone who measures up. Would you have the same problem if you were relatively less into the woman than she was to you? If no, the next question is, do you want a relationship, or someone who's emotionally dependent on you? |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2017 19:49:11 GMT -5
Some relationships will make you bitter, as well. It's all about you being your best self and being a happy individual. Companionship is nice, but it shouldn't dictate your happiness.
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Post by psychokiller on Mar 20, 2017 20:26:58 GMT -5
I definitely want a woman to love my personality, but I also would really like her to find me physically attractive as well. It's like a 50/50 thing for me where I'd need for her to have both towards me since I don't want to be way more into a woman than she is me. She'll have all the power in the relationship that way. Power in a relationship is spread only so far as those involved are willing to let it. Worse comes to worse, you should always be able to walk away. Also if someone wants to be with you you, why does it matter what attracts them? If you split hairs that much, you might struggle to find anyone who measures up. Would you have the same problem if you were relatively less into the woman than she was to you? If no, the next question is, do you want a relationship, or someone who's emotionally dependent on you? It would depend on the reason/reasons why I'm less into her than she is me. |
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Post by twiggy101 on Mar 20, 2017 22:07:02 GMT -5
Oh man, I was rejected when I asked a girl to be my prom date literally a minute ago. Oh well.
What I find really helpful when being alone is starting to get to me or I get my heart broken was going out dancing. But I've been so busy with school lately and I'm too tired to go out.
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Cranjis McBasketball
Crow T. Robot
Knew what the hell that thing was supposed to be
Peace Love and Nothing But
Posts: 42,457
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Post by Cranjis McBasketball on Mar 20, 2017 22:44:39 GMT -5
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Paul
Vegeta
Posts: 9,348 
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Post by Paul on Mar 20, 2017 23:47:02 GMT -5
The two songs we hear on the Shelf (Portrait) stage are:
Hooray For Hollywood (This one could be a Helen solo?). This seems to be the same audio from the Helen cabaret show.
Down by The Old Mill Stream (group)
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Mar 21, 2017 15:38:39 GMT -5
I know it's semantics but sometimes it's best to start simple: Love isn't something you just get. It's something you give and receive. If you think people just go out there and get it, you are barking at an oak tree and hoping it drops apples. It just seems everywhere I go though there's couples. I just don't know how they are able to do it. It just can't be that everyone has a huge social circle of knowing others. And I literally never see anyone interacting with others when I'm out anywhere so I don't get where people are able to do it. This, my friend, is confirmation bias. That's not that short. I know guys shorter than that and they're married. It's just going to be more difficult for me though due to my personality. Being short & introverted is a horrible mix to be in terms of getting women. I can't even compensate for it with an outgoing personality that women tend to like. Colossal generalisation. Also, how exactly do you meet an introverted woman that likes introverts if you're both introverted? How would socialising allow you to meet a woman who doesn't like socialising? |
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Mar 21, 2017 15:41:16 GMT -5
She'll have all the power in the relationship that way. ...So? All I know of you is how you have presented yourself in this thread, and that consists of coming up with excuses why everyone else is wrong, and then this f***ing gem. Women are complex. People are complex. LIFE is complex. |
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Cranjis McBasketball
Crow T. Robot
Knew what the hell that thing was supposed to be
Peace Love and Nothing But
Posts: 42,457
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Post by Cranjis McBasketball on Mar 21, 2017 18:09:39 GMT -5
Well, you could move into my recent territory. Asking girl out and she says yes has 100% success rate. So does girl suddenly becoming insanely busy once I try to set up the date.
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Post by Ted Sheckler on Mar 21, 2017 19:22:39 GMT -5
I'm a 25 year old, short (5'7) guy who is introverted and I work as a security guard at a pub two days a week. I've been in the security industry for three weeks after failing to get a full time position in media (Which I spent the past 2 years of my life studying) and dabbling in some acting and modeling. I have recently celebrated my one year anniversary with my girlfriend who I met via a mutual friend. This is my first serious relationship and I really spent my years before this just having fun really so I have some advice for you:
- First of all, you've admitted in this thread you're quite bitter and negative. Allow me to share a story with you, before I met my current girlfriend I went on a date with an old high school friend after talking to one another again through Facebook. She talked a good game on Facebook and could hide her personality better but upon meeting her she spoke of nothing but how bad her exes were, how bad her family was, how bad her life was etc etc whilst the entire time I tried to think of how to get out of it. Nobody likes the bitter and negative person and I didn't end up seeing her again because of this.
- Second, once you have a more positive attitude I'd try online dating. If you were extroverted I'd suggest the club and pub scene but if you're introverted your only real options are internet dating (Which I've never tried but friends have been positive about) or meeting people through existing friends.
- Third, take pride in your appearance if you don't do this already. If you can avoid it don't be overweight, be hygienic, wear nice clothes that fit you well and show off your positives. Maybe do some weight training and just make yourself look better and more attractive. Looks DO matter at first although when someone starts loving you they begin to matter less.
- Four, just be yourself. I'm a guy who can sit in a room with my significant other and talk for 2 hours about a certain aspect of politics and she likes that because she can learn from me. I also collect autographs, classic movie posters and I enjoy old movies, sports and wrestling. If you're that guy then be that guy. If you're funny and witty then be funny and witty if you're a nerd who loves classic anime, collects action figures and loves Japanese culture then be that guy. Do NOT try and be someone you're not because you think girls will like it. Do NOT do the pretend nice guy thing because it's fake. Be you.
Follow those and your fortunes will change I think.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 29,365
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Post by Sephiroth on Mar 21, 2017 19:39:17 GMT -5
I recently got sort of dumped. Sort of because we never actually dated but were quite flirtatious, even made out at one point. But a couple months ago she suddenly lost all interest, and only a few weeks ago turned around and told me she realized she is gay and has fallen for another woman.
And you know what?
I actually impressed myself by not getting all twisted out of shape about it. It was a bit disappointing, sure, but it's not like we were official or anything. Plus I was actually rather amused to realize how long it had been since I had gotten the "it's not you it's me" kind of explanation-and I was even more amused by the reason. I even said to myself afterward "This is some 90's sitcom shit!"
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Gawk Rivers
Ozymandius
MAMMA MIA! CRUISERLICIOUS!
GIIIGIIIGIIIGIIIGIGI
Posts: 61,259 
Member is Online
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Post by Gawk Rivers on Mar 21, 2017 20:46:16 GMT -5
She'll have all the power in the relationship that way. To be brutally honest, it kinda sounds like you aren't thinking of women as people here. |
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Post by psychokiller on Mar 21, 2017 21:27:26 GMT -5
She'll have all the power in the relationship that way. To be brutally honest, it kinda sounds like you aren't thinking of women as people here. What do you mean? |
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Post by HMARK Center on Mar 21, 2017 21:57:18 GMT -5
To be brutally honest, it kinda sounds like you aren't thinking of women as people here. What do you mean? If you think about it in terms of "power", you're kind of thinking in transactional/bargaining terms, as if a relationship is based around who currently holds a negotiation advantage in the proceedings. If that ever becomes an issue, then it's not a healthy relationship in the first place. If you focus on the woman as a person, that stuff just about never enters into the equation; learning somebody's personality and quirks takes up too much time for stuff like that to be in the picture. |
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Post by psychokiller on Mar 21, 2017 22:14:06 GMT -5
If you think about it in terms of "power", you're kind of thinking in transactional/bargaining terms, as if a relationship is based around who currently holds a negotiation advantage in the proceedings. If that ever becomes an issue, then it's not a healthy relationship in the first place. If you focus on the woman as a person, that stuff just about never enters into the equation; learning somebody's personality and quirks takes up too much time for stuff like that to be in the picture. True, I get what you're saying with that. In terms of physical attraction though, how does it work when the woman is obviously deemed to be more attractive than the guy? Not saying it's in all cases, but it seems the guys in those situations have to compensate in other areas to get those women, but do those guys not care that the woman probably wasn't initially attracted to them? In my case due to being shorter than average, I'll have to probably compensate for my lack of height where the woman likely wouldn't be initially attracted to me which sucks. |
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Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
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Post by Mozenrath on Mar 22, 2017 1:40:23 GMT -5
If you think about it in terms of "power", you're kind of thinking in transactional/bargaining terms, as if a relationship is based around who currently holds a negotiation advantage in the proceedings. If that ever becomes an issue, then it's not a healthy relationship in the first place. If you focus on the woman as a person, that stuff just about never enters into the equation; learning somebody's personality and quirks takes up too much time for stuff like that to be in the picture. True, I get what you're saying with that. In terms of physical attraction though, how does it work when the woman is obviously deemed to be more attractive than the guy? Not saying it's in all cases, but it seems the guys in those situations have to compensate in other areas to get those women, but do those guys not care that the woman probably wasn't initially attracted to them? In my case due to being shorter than average, I'll have to probably compensate for my lack of height where the woman likely wouldn't be initially attracted to me which sucks. I don't think someone has to think you're a 10 to want to date you. You talk about compensating in other areas, but it doesn't need to be that cut and dry either, like having a fancy car or being a doctor or something. Sure, that'd attract some women, and power to them, if that's what they're after, but you're thinking of women in too homogenized terms. Besides, I have dated women who I didn't see them and immediately think they were gorgeous. That came later as I grew to have affection for them and get to know them. Like, I bet I could make a dating profile and say my idea of a fun date is something specific like buying a couple of Kid Cuisines and Hawaiian Punch, making a pillow fort in the living room, and watching some B movies. There are going to be women who would be down for that, in part since it's out of the ordinary and might appeal to their nostalgia, or just be something they haven't done before. Other women, they might be interested in a guy who cooks would love to have someone over to try out a new recipe with, together, and that'd be their fun date, or going to a fair and trying to make an effort to try 3 new foods you'd never had before. And all these would work after trial and error because there are a wide variety of women out there who haven't found a someone yet, either, and would be intrigued enough to take a chance if someone stood out a little and gave them something they could connect with. Hell, LexExpress is a lovely person in multiple senses of the world, and she gave someone a shot due to them liking the Spider-Man Animated series. That went badly because the guy BS'd that and acted on bad faith, but had he not been a creep, who knows, it could have turned out great. You need to form a connection with someone that is more than a profile picture, anyway. |
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Post by psychokiller on Mar 22, 2017 15:03:46 GMT -5
True, I get what you're saying with that. In terms of physical attraction though, how does it work when the woman is obviously deemed to be more attractive than the guy? Not saying it's in all cases, but it seems the guys in those situations have to compensate in other areas to get those women, but do those guys not care that the woman probably wasn't initially attracted to them? In my case due to being shorter than average, I'll have to probably compensate for my lack of height where the woman likely wouldn't be initially attracted to me which sucks. I don't think someone has to think you're a 10 to want to date you. You talk about compensating in other areas, but it doesn't need to be that cut and dry either, like having a fancy car or being a doctor or something. Sure, that'd attract some women, and power to them, if that's what they're after, but you're thinking of women in too homogenized terms. Besides, I have dated women who I didn't see them and immediately think they were gorgeous. That came later as I grew to have affection for them and get to know them. Like, I bet I could make a dating profile and say my idea of a fun date is something specific like buying a couple of Kid Cuisines and Hawaiian Punch, making a pillow fort in the living room, and watching some B movies. There are going to be women who would be down for that, in part since it's out of the ordinary and might appeal to their nostalgia, or just be something they haven't done before. Other women, they might be interested in a guy who cooks would love to have someone over to try out a new recipe with, together, and that'd be their fun date, or going to a fair and trying to make an effort to try 3 new foods you'd never had before. And all these would work after trial and error because there are a wide variety of women out there who haven't found a someone yet, either, and would be intrigued enough to take a chance if someone stood out a little and gave them something they could connect with. Hell, LexExpress is a lovely person in multiple senses of the world, and she gave someone a shot due to them liking the Spider-Man Animated series. That went badly because the guy BS'd that and acted on bad faith, but had he not been a creep, who knows, it could have turned out great. You need to form a connection with someone that is more than a profile picture, anyway. I think after thinking about it what it boils down for me is that I've never been with anyone before. So if I only viewed the woman I'm with as not that physically attractive I'm always going to have that "grass is greener" type of thing going on. That's probably why I'd want to be with someone I'm really attracted to. I just maybe would feel like something is missing or would start to have resentment that there's not much physical attraction. I know you say that building a connection could build physical attraction but I usually know in most cases almost right away after looking at a woman whether I find them attractive or not. I'll probably get more hate comments for this, but I think that's a big part of why physical attraction would be important to me & why I'd like someone to be physically attracted to me as well. Maybe if I've had a lot of experience by now my mentality would be different. |
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Post by ShaolinHandLock on Mar 23, 2017 4:30:30 GMT -5
I've never been in a relationship. I've never been anywhere near close to being in a relationship.
And reading this thread has just reaffirmed to me that it will never happen.
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