How to not be bitter for never having a relationship?

[psychokiller]

It just seems that I'm starting to feel really bitter about never being with anyone especially at my age where probably the vast majority of guys have been in one by now. I've tried online dating but it just seems that if you're short & don't work an ideal job you're pretty much screwed with it. I even made a profile on one of the paid dating sites & almost every profile I came across eliminated me from their height preference or wanted a guy making good money. I just don't get how I'm supposed to meet anyone as well when it seems everyone just keeps to themselves these days. It just seems no one interacts with one another anymore due to smartphones & a lot of people only caring about themselves these days. My social circle is almost non existent as well these days except for a few friends I text with that don't live near me anymore. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do at this point. I don't even think I'm bad looking outside of being short & introverted which a lot of women just seem to not like at all. I just get really angry & bitter when I'm by myself a lot of the time though where I'm just angry that it seems so easy for others to get into relationships somehow yet I've never even been in one.

[Mozenrath]

Well, what's your age? You say the majority have, but you may be surprised. I've had relationships, but a number of people I know haven't.

If it's any consolation, if it helps any, just because it looks easy for others to date doesn't mean it always if. Depending on how they met who they're with, they've likely experienced rejection, had dates that sparked nothing, or worked their way back from painful breakups. It's really easy to feel like you're playing with fewer advantages than anyone else, but there's a lot that isn't immediately obvious or people are loathe to talk about.

Also, maybe don't use that usernmae for any dating sites, would be a suggestion.

[psychokiller]

Mar 20, 2017 0:39:11 GMT -5 Mozenrath said:

Well, what's your age? You say the majority have, but you may be surprised. I've had relationships, but a number of people I know haven't.

If it's any consolation, if it helps any, just because it looks easy for others to date doesn't mean it always if. Depending on how they met who they're with, they've likely experienced rejection, had dates that sparked nothing, or worked their way back from painful breakups. It's really easy to feel like you're playing with fewer advantages than anyone else, but there's a lot that isn't immediately obvious or people are loathe to talk about.

Also, maybe don't use that usernmae for any dating sites, would be a suggestion.

lol I knew someone would mention my username in this topic. Anyways, I'm 2 years older than you. But I just don't get how people meet these days when it seems wherever I go no one ever interacts at all. Literally everyone just keeps to themselves so it's just so weird how I see so many couples together but I have no clue how they even get together. There's no way they're all meeting through online dating since it's extremely difficult on there to meet someone. Some have told me a lot of it is through social circle which I suppose could be true but still seems a bit far fetched. I just don't see how millions of people magically know others that know someone that would want to date them. I just don't know. I just feel I'm missing out really bad & every time I see some guy with a woman I find attractive I just get annoyed.

[Deleted]

I'm short, introverted, and at times was unemployed or wasn't working a good job. It's just a matter of how you present yourself really. Just think if you were a wrestler how would you get yourself over in a crowd where everyone is watching you for the first time and you are in the main event segment and main event match.

[Capt Lunatic]

Mar 20, 2017 0:48:31 GMT -5 psychokiller said:

every time I see some guy with a woman I find attractive I just get annoyed.

One of the most legit disturbing things I've seen on the forum.

[agent817]

I am almost on the same boat as you. I have been in two relationships, neither of them lasted more than two and a half months. However, I am still on good terms with both women as I am still friends with them. The most recent relationship I was in was actually nearly a year ago. At this point I am not even sure what I want with a woman. On one hand I have a few in mind that I want to have something more than what I have with them. On the other hand I mostly have sexual desires and I want to act on them towards some women. I will say that every time a woman catches my attention, I have to glance at her left hand to see if there is a ring.

[Surfer Sandman]

35 here and never had anything resembling a relationship. I'm sure that's poison to any prospective female. I do get a lot of messages from single mothers though on zoosk. I refuse to pay $30/month just to view them.

[The Legend of Groose]

Just look at it as being to damn macho for any girl(or guy) to contain.

But really, I always looked at it as it's better to not have someone at all than having someone that you can't trust and tries to ruin you. If someone is looking at things like how much money you make or how successful you are, they likely should not be given the time of day. Life is like a road, just keep driving your path and maybe someday someone will come along and wants to sit in the passenger seat with you. Just worry about keeping your eyes on the road and being happy.

[Sephiroth]

Learn to not give a fig, just relax, and enjoy life. And maybe once in a while watch a dirty movie with the blinds down.

[MC Blowfish]

The thing with online dating is that you have to keep trying. I met my wife on OKCupid and I was on there for awhile before we met. I sent out multiple messages to women and I never heard anything. Women get so many messages on those sites that it's hard to weed through them. You have to stand out both in your message and your profile. Make sure you try to take flattering pictures on your profile as well.

What are you saying when you message these women? Are you taking an interest in them? Did you ask specific questions? If you want, post a message that you've sent here. Obviously cut out the personal information.

[psychokiller]

Mar 20, 2017 3:15:29 GMT -5 Capt Lunatic said:

Mar 20, 2017 0:48:31 GMT -5 psychokiller said:

every time I see some guy with a woman I find attractive I just get annoyed.

One of the most legit disturbing things I've seen on the forum.

How so? If all around you you see something that you wish you had constantly how can it not bother you? There's no sadistic thing behind it like you make it seem like. It's just difficult not to feel envy when you never had what so many others seem to get easily.

[psychokiller]

Mar 20, 2017 10:06:57 GMT -5 Surfer Sandman said:

35 here and never had anything resembling a relationship. I'm sure that's poison to any prospective female. I do get a lot of messages from single mothers though on zoosk. I refuse to pay $30/month just to view them.

Yeah, it seems women don't like guys with no or hardly any experience. A lot of women have tons of options so why would they choose the guy with no experience & a lame job when they can get what they really want.

[psychokiller]

Mar 20, 2017 10:26:17 GMT -5 Sephiroth said:

Learn to not give a fig, just relax, and enjoy life. And maybe once in a while watch a dirty movie with the blinds down.

lol. But it's like if I don't worry about it nothing will ever happen. It's a catch-22 really where if I worry about it constantly it just bothers me too much but if I don't worry then literally nothing will ever happen for me.

[psychokiller]

Mar 20, 2017 11:04:31 GMT -5 MC Blowfish said:

The thing with online dating is that you have to keep trying. I met my wife on OKCupid and I was on there for awhile before we met. I sent out multiple messages to women and I never heard anything. Women get so many messages on those sites that it's hard to weed through them. You have to stand out both in your message and your profile. Make sure you try to take flattering pictures on your profile as well.

What are you saying when you message these women? Are you taking an interest in them? Did you ask specific questions? If you want, post a message that you've sent here. Obviously cut out the personal information.

I honestly already deleted all of online dating profiles. I just don't know if I want to go back on it. It just seems like the standards of so many women on there are out of reach. A lot of women seem to be really drawn to height on those sites & I can't compete due to that.

[N E O G E O B O Y S]

I have lots of troubles using dating sites

I have matched lots of times, even with girls I find attractive for their pictures and or profiles, but everytime that I start talking with them, I don't know what to do, since we chat a little and that's it, and also start feeling that is not a good idea to use tinder for example

But also from work and a bit of shyness, I almost never go to party to places where I could meet womens, and also I don't feel that I want to meet my couple there, but I guess that I should start somewhere

[Surfer Sandman]

Mar 20, 2017 11:12:33 GMT -5 psychokiller said:

Mar 20, 2017 10:06:57 GMT -5 Surfer Sandman said:

35 here and never had anything resembling a relationship. I'm sure that's poison to any prospective female. I do get a lot of messages from single mothers though on zoosk. I refuse to pay $30/month just to view them.

Yeah, it seems women don't like guys with no or hardly any experience. A lot of women have tons of options so why would they choose the guy with no experience & a lame job when they can get what they really want.

Well, if you have that kind of attitude, I'd imagine it wouldn't help. 

I concentrate on the platonic relationships I have with people. I feel I need to work on my people skills or else I will continue to stay single. You can't go through life putting yourself down because that's how YOU think that others perceive you. You would be surprised. I know that I am and if I can keep a really good friend or two, I know that I could have a romantic relationship with someone.

[Push R Truth]

Mar 20, 2017 11:09:33 GMT -5 psychokiller said:

Mar 20, 2017 3:15:29 GMT -5 Capt Lunatic said:

One of the most legit disturbing things I've seen on the forum.

How so? If all around you you see something that you wish you had constantly how can it not bother you? There's no sadistic thing behind it like you make it seem like. It's just difficult not to feel envy when you never had what so many others seem to get easily.

I know it's semantics but sometimes it's best to start simple: Love isn't something you just get. It's something you give and receive. If you think people just go out there and get it, you are barking at an oak tree and hoping it drops apples.

[psychokiller]

Mar 20, 2017 11:24:14 GMT -5 N E O G E O B O Y S said:

I have lots of troubles using dating sites

I have matched lots of times, even with girls I find attractive for their pictures and or profiles, but everytime that I start talking with them, I don't know what to do, since we chat a little and that's it, and also start feeling that is not a good idea to use tinder for example

But also from work and a bit of shyness, I almost never go to party to places where I could meet womens, and also I don't feel that I want to meet my couple there, but I guess that I should start somewhere

Yeah, the vast majority of the time they just randomly stop replying. It's just very difficult with online dating since you can be chatting with a woman, yet she can be on the other end of her phone chatting with 5 different guys at the same time & you have to compete with every one of them. So sometimes if there's just one thing you don't have over the other guys than you're cast aside.

[MC Blowfish]

Mar 20, 2017 11:19:39 GMT -5 psychokiller said:

Mar 20, 2017 11:04:31 GMT -5 MC Blowfish said:

The thing with online dating is that you have to keep trying. I met my wife on OKCupid and I was on there for awhile before we met. I sent out multiple messages to women and I never heard anything. Women get so many messages on those sites that it's hard to weed through them. You have to stand out both in your message and your profile. Make sure you try to take flattering pictures on your profile as well.

What are you saying when you message these women? Are you taking an interest in them? Did you ask specific questions? If you want, post a message that you've sent here. Obviously cut out the personal information.

I honestly already deleted all of online dating profiles. I just don't know if I want to go back on it. It just seems like the standards of so many women on there are out of reach. A lot of women seem to be really drawn to height on those sites & I can't compete due to that.

How tall are you?  I'm 5'7" which isn't tall by any means.  

[psychokiller]

Mar 20, 2017 11:25:44 GMT -5 Surfer Sandman said:

Mar 20, 2017 11:12:33 GMT -5 psychokiller said:

Yeah, it seems women don't like guys with no or hardly any experience. A lot of women have tons of options so why would they choose the guy with no experience & a lame job when they can get what they really want.

Well, if you have that kind of attitude, I'd imagine it wouldn't help. 

I concentrate on the platonic relationships I have with people. I feel I need to work on my people skills or else I will continue to stay single. You can't go through life putting yourself down because that's how YOU think that others perceive you. You would be surprised. I know that I am and if I can keep a really good friend or two, I know that I could have a romantic relationship with someone.

True, I admit my attitude can be one that is negative when it comes to this. And yeah due to myself being a quiet guy, it's difficult for me to be able to just cold approach a woman I never met.