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Post by Mid-Carder on Dec 21, 2021 7:34:23 GMT -5
As the title says, really. The absolute worst case scenario matches and results for you, so bad that you’d never watch WWE again
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Post by crankypants on Dec 21, 2021 8:29:06 GMT -5
Isn't this how Day 1 is being booked?
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Wieners=$$$
Hank Scorpio
Gif Master Extraordinaire
I Miss You Peanut😥
Posts: 6,084
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Post by Wieners=$$$ on Dec 21, 2021 9:03:07 GMT -5
Is this a trick, Vince?
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Post by Gerard Gerard on Dec 21, 2021 9:07:34 GMT -5
That Crown Jewel in 2018 defeats literally any worst case scenario I could ever dare dream up. The actual definition of audience dissatisfaction. It's followed closely by Crown Jewel's 2019 outing.
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FinalGwen
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Particularly fond of muffins.
Posts: 16,437
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Post by FinalGwen on Dec 21, 2021 9:08:54 GMT -5
I'm not going to do Vince's job for him.
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Gus Richlen Was Wrong
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
Fun while it lasted
Posts: 38,519
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Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on Dec 21, 2021 10:52:03 GMT -5
There's not enough matches that can end with LOLBECKYWINS, LOLROLLINSWINS, and CENAWINSLOL.
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,524
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Post by bob on Dec 21, 2021 11:15:59 GMT -5
challenge accepted!
Byron Saxton vs Corey Graves - Corey wins via Carmella run in
Reggie and Dana Brooke vs Tamina and Commander Azeez - Tamina and Commander Azeez win after Apollo interferes
Nakamura and Rick Boogs vs Jinder Mahal and Shanky vs Corbin and Moss - Corbin and Moss
Kevin Owens and Adam Pearce vs RK-Bro for RAW tag titles - KO and Pearce
Stephanie McMahon vs Charlotte Flair for Smackdown women's title - no contest when Lily the doll interferes
Drew McIntyre vs Mace in a sword on a poll - Mace wins clean as a sheet
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Post by MrElijah on Dec 21, 2021 11:28:48 GMT -5
Step 1: Hire Vince Russo
Step 2: Give him full control
Step 3: Sit back and watch the clusterf***.
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Bo Rida
Fry's dog Seymour
Pulled one over on everyone. Got away with it, this time.
Posts: 23,589
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Post by Bo Rida on Dec 21, 2021 12:33:39 GMT -5
Crown Jewel 2022
Winner gets an ironclad contact saying nobody can ever be mean to them again match Sami Zayn Vs Ricochet Zayn no shows, Richochet wins by default
Goldberg Gauntlet Goldberg Def New Day - wins an actual Thanos style gauntlet and half the roster are released
Mae Young memorial hand Vs hand match - Loser gets hand chopped off Seth Def Rey Mysterio
30 minute submission iron man match Omos Def AJ Styles
Losing team leaves WWE Toxic Attraction Def Three Horsewomen (minus Charlotte).
Women's title unification - MMA match Charlotte Def Shayna
Interpromotional Orange bowl - best ever Orange wrestler Hogan Def Orange Cassidy
WWE title - MMA rules Sheamus Vs Mystery opponent Del Rio wins
First ever MMA rules electric lions den triple threat match for the Universal title Brock (c) Vs the one man he was scared to face Jindar Mahal and Cain Vasquez for some reason Ends in triple dq
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Post by The Creepo Man on Dec 21, 2021 13:09:37 GMT -5
Step 1: Hire Vince Russo Step 2: Give him full control Step 3: Sit back and watch the clusterf***. Russo would be an improvement. Just don’t allow him to force anyone into the rafters. I’d rather watch Drawn Together type TV that doesn’t age well then dull repetitive programming that I won’t care to remember next month. And everyone on the roster will at least have a better chance of holding a championship at least once compared to the glass ceilings established today.
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Mr T L Wolf
Hank Scorpio
He has the looks of Andre the Giant, and the strength of Barry Windham. Not to mention he's a hero to a few armadillos, a kangaroo and a small herd of bison.
Posts: 5,319
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Post by Mr T L Wolf on Dec 21, 2021 13:11:54 GMT -5
I mean, December to Dismember already happened.
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Post by Lizuka #BLM on Dec 21, 2021 13:13:20 GMT -5
Okay so, like, you do WrestleMania, except the heels win every match especially when it doesn't make any sense, the match a lot of people are most hyped up for is a complete squash, the match that sold the most tickets that everyone's expecting to be crazy and overbooked is instead an interminable boring slog, the main event's a match zero people want to see, the whole thing goes two hours longer than anyone expected it to, and toward the end you devote half an hour to The Rock dicking around with a flamethrower.
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Moppy
Samurai Cop
Posts: 2,200
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Post by Moppy on Dec 21, 2021 14:47:03 GMT -5
I don't know what it involves, but I know how it ends. Comedy mallet, dark red lighting and a no-contest Hell in a Cell finish.
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Post by Jindrak Mark on Dec 21, 2021 14:51:23 GMT -5
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2021 15:18:31 GMT -5
Roman Reigns beats every male wrestler in the company in a gauntlet match.
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4real
Wade Wilson
Posts: 27,849
Member is Online
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Post by 4real on Dec 21, 2021 15:47:02 GMT -5
WWE waiting for VEER
The whole roster and the crowd in attendance sits around and waits for Veer to debut for 3 hours. Announcer says at the end of the show Veer is coming to RAW and not PPV. End of show everyone leaves.
May contain Happy Corbin & Madcap Moss appearance.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2021 16:13:18 GMT -5
Mae Young memorial hand Vs hand match - Loser gets hand chopped off Seth Def Rey Mysterio Losing team leaves WWE Toxic Attraction Def Three Horsewomen (minus Charlotte). Hold on now. These actually sound awesome.
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,296
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Post by Push R Truth on Dec 21, 2021 16:32:49 GMT -5
My PPV card started off with a Verbal Debate between Omos and Skanky and then I realized my plan was already more entertaining tham a normal WWE PPV so I gave up
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Post by Celexa Bliss 54 on Dec 21, 2021 18:49:15 GMT -5
Show opens with a forty minute in-ring promo with Liv, Charlotte and Becky, who buries everyone (like, not just Liv and Charlotte, but Michael Cole, Jimmy Smith, Big E, Reggie, John Cone, Nicholas Cone... everyone). Then Toni comes out with a hotel pushcart loaded with pies, which leads to the opening match...
1. Charlotte def. Toni Storm in a "Loser Must Eat 50 Pies Match" - Toni vomits after the first ten pies, so they move it to the back, where she will have to eat the other 40 pies by the end of the night.
2. Happy Corbin def. Nakamura to win the IC Title
- Backstage, Toni gets the runs from all the pies, but she still has to eat thirty more, so the cameraman follows her into the toilet
- Half hour 24/7 Title segment, ending with Austin Theory winning the title
3. Sami Zayn wins a fifty man battle royal to earn a World Title shot
4. Liv Morgan def. Becky Lynch by flash-pin to win the Women's Title, then Becky beats Liv down
- Backstage, Austin Theory tries to take a selfie with Toni Storm on the toilet and gets arrested
- In the ring, Becky is still beating up Liv
- Backstage, John Cena, Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Batista and Shawn Michaels play poker backstage, while a trash barrel full of money burns in front of them; Ric Flair runs in with a "BRYAN SUCKS" t-shirt to put out the fire and grab the money
5. Becky Lynch def. Liv Morgan in 1 second to win the Women's Title
- Ric Flair finds Toni Storm on the toilet and everyone awkwardly laughs at the uncomfortable woman and the drunk, senile coot
6. Big E def. Sami Zayn to retain the WWE Title
- Toni finishes the last of the pies, but now has a comically big stomach. Ric Flair is still there, look at how funny it is!!!!
7. Roman Reigns wins - Brock Lesnar comes out, farts and leaves
THE END
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Dec 22, 2021 4:44:17 GMT -5
Man I live for this kind of crap so I'll give it shot. WWE Presents: December 2 DismemberCharles Robinson comes out to address the crowd. He is dressed in Ric Flair's robe and doing a terrible impression of the Nature Boy. He says Lil Naitch is back and he's running the show now. He proceeds to strip to his underwear and elbow drop his robe in the ring. Several Backstage officials have to come to the ring to escort him out. Corey Graves and Jerry Lawler are on commentary for RAW and for Smackdown Booker T and Liv Morgan are on commentary. Otis vs. Ivar Otis comes to the ring with Doudrop as his main squeeze and Ivar is now doing a ladies man gimmick as "Handsome" Hanson. He comes to the ring with Toxic Attraction hanging all over him. Handsome Hanson gets the win after Mandy and the rest TA attack Doudrop and rub lipstick all over her face which distracts Otis so Hanson can win with a roll up. They all make out as they go backstage. Becky Lynch open Challenge: Beckys open challenge is answered by none other than Joe Gacy. He says it is sexist for a the RAW women's title to only be available to women. Joe Gacy basically acts like the Genius from that Saturday Nights Main Event when Genius wrestled Hulk Hogan, That is all I will say on that matter. Gacy pins Becky with a roll up. New RAW Women's Champion Shinsuke Nakamura Open Challenge Another open challenge as Nakamura puts his Intercontinental championship on the line. The challenge is answered by.....Von Wagner....Oh joy. After an incredibly boring match Von Wagner becomes the new Intercontinental champion when Rick Boogs turns heel and costs Shinsuke the match. New IC Champ. Damien Priest Open Challenge Priest offers anyone a shot at his US Title. The challenge is answered by....Veer Mahaan!!! Veer gets the win and becomes the new US Champ after his old pal Rinku from Indus Sher runs down to the ring and distracts Damian Priest and Veer pins him with a rollup. Charlotte Flair Open Challenge Charlotte's open challenge is answered by....Lash Legend!!! A match for the ages occurs(I will leave it up to you all to decide if that is sarcasm or not) and Lash pins Charlotte with a rollup to become the new Smackdown Women's champion!!! After the match Charlotte begins to cry in the middle of the ring and starts throwing a temper tantrum by flailing her arms and legs around. Lil Naitch comes out to console her, and then hits her in the face with a cream pie. Mmmkay... MVP and Bobby Lashley vs. Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez Apollo barely gets any time in the match as most of it is Azeez fighting off MVP and Lashley witha Herculean like effort and he finally murks Lashley with a Nigerian Nail and pins both MVP and Lashley in the middle of the ring. After the match Apollo declares that Azeez is no longer a commander but officially names him 5-Star General Azeez. Goldberg vs. Kane Kane comes out but he is dressed in his suit and still wearing his Kane mask for some reason. He shakes hands with people on the way to the ring and waves to apparently nobody. Goldberg and Kane stare each other down for an unfathomable amount of time then have a fifteen minute match with a test of strength, lots of rest holds, and Goldberg botching the jackhammer three times. The match finally ends when the ref makes a fast three count after Goldberg tries to pin Kane after a stiff clothesline. Roman Reigns vs. Shanky for the Universal Title The Usos are with Roman and Jinder is with Shanky. After a lot of nonsense with Jinder fighting the Usos, they all get sent to the back. Roman gets set to spear SHanky. He nails him but Roman acts like he ran into a brick wall. Shanky rolls over on him and pins him for the Universal championship. People are confused until Shanky lifts his shirt and reveals that he has a metal plate strapped to his body. Jinder comes back out and he and Shnaky celebrate on their way to the back. It is the era of Shanky!!! Big E vs. Omos for the WWE Title Omos wins after a hard fought slog of a match when Retribution inexplicably reunite and cost Big E The match and Omos becomes the new WWE Champion. Mustafa Ali, Mace, and T-Bar stand in the ring with Omos after the match and Omos puts on a hockey mack and officially becomes the new Slapjack as he holds the title up high in the air.
Yeyeah???
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