Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Aug 5, 2005 6:19:46 GMT -5
*Meanwhile backstage in the shower room, Billy 'the Virgin' Ubermark' is trying to reassure himself . . after escaping Maelstrom once again . . he's standing in front of a sink which is full of water he is looking at a mirror*
Billy: . . . Damm that Fish-headed Lug . . he's crazy . . ok . . calm down Billy . . you can beat him . . this is no different to the discrimination I took at the hands of Moxie . . .
*Billy splashes his face with water . . to try and regain his composure . . when he looks back in the mirror . .. . he's shocked . . .as Maelstrom is there in the mirror!*
Billy: Oh my God! . . No! . . . Don't hur . . . . wait . . .
*Billy breaks into a smile*
Billy: . . .I saw that WCW ppv . . . this pathetic Warrior trick may have fooled Hogan but I'm smarter than that . . . I'm the Tri-State Champ! Dammit . . . so put that projector away . . .you don't fool me . .
*Billy Washes his face again . . . when he looks in the mirror again Maelstrom has got a lot closer*
Billy: . . . David Copperfield doesn't scare me . . so you sure as hell don't . . . . You squid-obsessed goon!
*Maelstroms image moves closer in the reflection . . and . .*
Maelstrom: Who said this was a trick?
*Maelstrom rams Billy's head into the mirror shattering it . . . Billy in desperation kicks his leg back low-blowing Maelstrom . . . Billy runs out of the shower room . . . *
Maelstrom: . . ahgh . . .Billy when I get my hands on you!! you'll need more than a Ric Flair moment to stop me! . . . The Tide Will Turn!
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Aug 5, 2005 10:36:47 GMT -5
*HBH's music hits as he, Gasoline, and Rosa head down to the ring for The Heartbreak Hotel*
HBH: Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time again. It's time for THE premier show in all of wrestling, The Heartbreak Hotel!
*Pyro goes off*
HBH: Now, as you all have probably noticed, the matches that have been taking place this week have been, well, flip-flopped. As the women are wrestling in table matches and scaffold matches, the guys are wrestling in bra and panty matches. There is only one person responsible for this. From the time she first arrived here in EWT she's been making an impact. She's been very vocal about the state of women's wrestling and wants to be on an equal playing level with the guys. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you our guest on The Heartbreak Hotel, Oceanic!
*Oceanic comes out and heads down to the ring*
HBH: OK, let's get down to business. A lot of the guys in the back are not very happy with you right now. Because of you, they're wrestling in what are normally considered women's matches. What do you have to say about that?
Oceanic: Yeah, I've heard that the guys don't like me for making them do these matches. But you know what? Boo hoo. Cry me a river. Now you guys know what we have to go through. It never ceases to amaze me the blatant chauvinism that runs this place. Week after week the women have to compete in the most sexist matches imaginable and nobody says a thing. Then these guys have to do one, just one, bra and panties match and they all start crying like....well....you know the word.
HBH: I see. This leads me to another point you've been speaking out about since you got here, and that's women's wrestling. You've said time and time again that you're disappointed with what you see here.
Oceanic: That's right Hitman. It's about time we've been noticed for something other than T&A. Women have just as much to offer as the guys do. In fact, we can put on better matches than any man once we've been given a chance. I'm glad the Women's Division is getting more attention now. This is an open door for more women athletes to come here and excel at what they do best, not for how big their busts are.
HBH: You really think you and the other women can put on better matches than the guys?
Oceanic: You damn right I do. But to do that, the Girl Next Door title needs to be taken away from Hillary Clitton. More so than the useless Divas that seem to overpopulate this fed, Clitton is the most damaging thing the Women's Division has had to suffer. She's no champion. She never defends, she's never around, she's only now shown her face. All she's good at is running her mouth and making excuses. But soon, the Girl Next Door title will be around my waist, then Hillary can head back to the free clinic so we never have to put up with her again.
HBH: Hmmm, well you certainly sound eager to get in the ring with her. Another person that you said you want to get in the ring with is Linda Ragnal. Please elaborate on that.
Oceanic: I've seen what Linda can do in this ring. I like her. She's quite the spit fire. She's a little on the brutal side judging by what she did to Sherri but I think she'd make a fine champion someday. I look forward to meeting her in the ring soon.
HBH: Well, your wish may come sooner than you think, as Toomi Bischoff announced that there will be a Queen's Court Rumble at the next PPV. What do you think your chances are of winning?
Oceanic: I think my chances are pretty good. I'm curious to see who these mystery guests will be. Probably goons Hillary hired to do her dirty work for her. Once again her cowardice embarrasses the division. But this will also be my first chance to see what all the other ladies can do first hand. Mia, Linda, Redneck, Diva Dorf, Sara, Rosa and myself should put on quite a show.
HBH: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about Rosa being in this match?
Oceanic: All the divas of EWT are participating in this match, including Rosa.
HBH: The hell she is. There is only one place she belongs, and that's with me.
Oceanic: You see, it's this kind of sexist views that pisses me off. What are you so afraid of Hitman? Are you afraid that she'll hurt herself? She's a grown-ass woman, I'm sure she can take care of yourself. (turns to Rosa) Rosa, I've watched you in the ring, and I think you have great potential. You would be a great asset to the women's division here. Don't allow yourself to be treated like a side of beef to this chauvinistic pig.
HBH: You had better shut your little ass up. I don't treat her like she's meat. She's perfectly happy being here with me. So you can take your little invitation and shove it!
*Crowd boos very loudly. Rosa grabs a mic*
Rosa: Hey! I don't need the both you to speak for me. Now I've been thinking about this and I've come to a decision. Bret, you know full well that I'm very happy being with you. But this Queen's Court Rumble is my chance to prove myself. All this time I've been supporting you and helping you, and I have no problem with that. But this is something I want to do. I need to do this for me, which is why I've decided to be a part of the Queen's Court Rumble. *Crowd cheers, and a smile comes across Oceanic's face* And the least that you could do is support me in that decision.
HBH: You're right. You're your own person and you can make your own decisions. I respect that, and I will support you in your decision. Now as for you Oceanic--
*HBH delivers some Sweet Chin Muzak to Oceanic*
HBH: Thanks to you, you little b****, I have to get ready for my evening gown match.
*The crowd boos and heckles HBH for his actions. Rosa has a surprised look on her face. HBH grabs Rosa as they and Gasoline leave the ring*
*Fade to commercial*
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Aug 5, 2005 11:23:31 GMT -5
A large W with a collage of blue & white colors adorn the screen as now various pictures of top wrestlers are montaged together like Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, Mick Foley, "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash, & Greg Gagne. Now the logo for "Inside The Wrestlers Studio with James Lipton" appears. And now it says "With Special Guest." This changes to "Flex Magnificent."
The screen has now changed to the stage where James Lipton is sitting. He has a table with his notes & glass of water. Alongside him is an empty chair for his guest.
The camera is now focused on James Lipton.James Lipton: It is often a rare opportunity on this program where we get to lower the spotlight on superstars from.... lesser....promotions. Tonight we have finally granted that opportunity & we will be speaking with a gentleman who has been causing a vociferous reaction amongst the fans of internet pro wrestling....This man is an undefeated World Bodybuilding Federation champion. He has also recently won an award for his outstanding debut in the organization he participates in, & he has also recently dethrowned an Olympic gold medal winning wrestler for his medals. This man is known as the Genetic Superman. He is the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation Superstar, He is Flex Magnificent!!! A clipped version of "Hallelujah!" plays as Flex is greeted to a warm applause from the audience. Flex is by himself & is wearing expensive slacks with Gucci loafers & a reddish/pinkish polo shirt.
Both Lipton & Flex meet up & shake hands before taking their seats. And now they are ready to conduct the interviewJL: Thank you for coming, Flex. Flex Magnificent: I yam pleased as punch to be here, Jhames. JL: Please tell me.....How did you come about the....E.W.T.? FM: My manager, Dr. Frederic Delavier, whom many call "Da Doctor of Muscletology," had been down de road wit me for so long. He created me in his own laboratory because he knew himself that his own body was limited. He sought do create uh supah human who could surpass him into de next millenium. We had from der gone on do many bodybuilding competitions...which I won do getting a call from uh certain person many of you may know....Vincent K. McMahon, Jr. *audience gives mixed reaction* He asked if we wanted do be apuht of his new amazing grand Wurl Bodybuilding Federaschun. We accepted & took it by storm. JL: Now I understand your magnificence....You don't mind if I call you that do you? FM: Uhf couse not. JL: I understand you won so much that Mr. McMahon could no longer find competition for you. FM: Dis is sadly tru. All he could find were painty waisted geeks who couldn't hold my ledderhosen. JL: So what happened....your magnificence? FM: Because I was winning all de time I quit & because I did de federashun cloooosed. JL: And how did this bring you to the world of professional wrestling? FM: Well James....Being Magkneeficent all de time is not eazy wohk & sadly competishun is few & fah between. So fo a long time bodybuilding was just not wut it uze do be. Den I got de call from Vince telling me he had a great idear do put me into de ring. I unfortunately turned him down, but decided dis would be a great idear. So I scowered all across de globe for de worst possible rustling organization evuh. Like Delavier helped created dis body peice by peice I wanted do climb de professional rustling ladder of success rung by rung so I had found dis EWT & I knew I was home. JL: So your magnificence.....Your thoughts on the EWT are quite demeaning to say the least. FM: Yes James. It is de worst evuh. Dat is why I consider dis my starting point. JL: Since your....if I may say so myself.....vivacious....entrance into the EWT you have caught the ire of one wrestler in particular.....His name is Limey. Please tell us...your thoughts. FM: *awkward pause as Flex just looks at him for 30 seconds* Wut? JL: Please tell us why Limey is ready to impale you on a pole wrapped in your own intestines? FM: I've nevuh heard of dis Lime person evuh in my life. JL: But there is obvious footage of you speaking to him personally. FM: *starts to sweat & constantly arranges his sitting style* James.....I don't know dis Limey. He is not EWT. I don't know wut you are possibly talking abowt. What is this? JL: OK, well.....what about your recent kidnapping of his manager, Carla? FM: *starts to sweat even more & starts to talk fast* James.....dis is some serious allegations. I do not evuh kidnap people. I dun know wut you are talkin abowt? Maybe you have me confused wit anotha handsome, pappa of pumpitude. Because I wouldn't do such a thing. WHY ARE YOU SAYING DESE THINGS?![/i] JL: *looks at camera* Well maybe we should get to our premade questionnaire from our audience tonight. *picks up a card as Flex relaxes a little bit* We have a question from someone simply named.....The Green Lantern Fan. Green Lantern Fan, who gets all front row seats at every indie & WWE show on the East Coast who is also front row at the show today, stands up in his usual one of 3 Green Lantern shirts, next to his father & takes the micGreen Lantern Fan: *in nerd voice* After all my years of watching wrestling. I have never been more disgusted at a peice of crap who is all mucles & no talent. Haven't you noticed all those "HE CAN'T WRESTLE" chants have been directed towards YOU! Are you that dumb!? Why don't you go back to the WBF where it is now! BURIED IN THE GROUND! FM: *Stands up & gets angry* LISTEN POLITELY DO WHAT I HAVE DO SAY!!! *softens up a bit in his voice but he is still coming from anger* Most of dat wasn't a question! And when you did question me you had more den one! And maybe you're just uh big idiot because dose chants weren't towards me you big stupid dummy! OK?! And just because you found out comic books aren't real doesn't mean you have to argue every storyline for rustling NOW! OK?! Flex sits back down & is obviously shaken a bit since this is his first time arguing with a fan. His insecurities are starting to bubble as the mic is passed to another audience member.JL: Our next question comes from a sort of tandom in the EWT. No, not wrestlers. Flex....maybe you have seen these 2 men before. They are at the front seats of every EWT Bingo Hall show, they are effectionately know by the EWT message board community by their forms of transportation to these events. They are Rog the Dodge & Shadrack the Cadillac. Rog The Dodge: *in Boston accent* Ey Flex Magnificent 'ere. Maybe dat Green Chandelere guy is right. Haven't you noticed they only chant that chant while you're around? And haven't you realized you tend to cripple people because you don't know how to perform the moves correctly? *passes the mic to Shadrack* FM: *sounding a bit choked up* NO! Hasn't your mama ever told you dat if you mastrubate all de time you will go blind! Because obviously you can't see clearly when you watch my matches! I yam a magkneeficent rustler! Now go get laid!........ BY A WOMAN!!!*his eyes are starting to get shinier & a bit wet* Shadrack The Cadillac: *in Indian accent* Besides being a s****y wrestler did it not occur to you that there is obvious footage that you kidnapped Carla. I mean....Just look at it from our perspective! You are at the Tag Team Title match & you catch both of their attention. They run after you & the only one that returns is Limey & not Carla. And also Carla has not been seen for days *Flex is really in a tivy now & is starting to shake a lot & spit at the mouth* And Limey has gone to numerous people who have said it's been you & even has sworn testimony from your steroid.....I mean protein powder dealer. I mean c'mon. We aren't that stupid. The again we DID come to see you! You roided up maniac. Learn how to wrestle! Then maybe we'll take you seriously! FM: *standing up* STOP IT!!!!! STOP IT!!!! STOP IT NOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!! I put....*starts crying* So much effort & dis is wut you give to meeee...... Flex sits back down fully balling his eyes out at the testimony just given by Shadrack. James now stands up & comes to console Flex. He has his arm around him as he turns to the cameraJL: I apologize everyone. It seems our guest is a bit sensitive...It's his first feud & his first time as a heel. So please. Let us go to a break. *a "grrrr"ing sound comes from under Lipton's arms* Can we? WHHHOOOOOAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Flex with a mighty ROAR throws Lipton several feet away from him as the camera is now focused on him. Flex has his arms outstretched with insane insane amounts of veins pouring out from his arms, neck, & forehead. His face is totally red with an expression of utter hate & aggression. The fans are in total shock as they stand there is awe to what they have just seen.
Flex moves over to Lipton & lifts him up for the Stacked Super Slam & throws him right into the audience. Since there are chairs many of the fans who were hit by Lipton are pinned down & hurt.
Flex jumps off the stage & into the audience. He goes immediately for Green Lantern Fan & his dad & both lifts them up with each arm by their throats & strangles them dropping them right on the top of their seats spine first. Fans are now rushing towards the Emergency exits. Unfortunately they've not been unlocked
After disposing of Green Lantern Fan & his father Flex makes his way through the audience as he has his sights on Rog & Shadrack, who are pinned down by the girth of the unconscious Lipton. As Flex removes the limp body of James Lipton to get his hands on both Rog & Shadrack who have soiled themselves at this point. Flex is now grinding his teeth which is actual caught on the audio. Shadrack tries to make the run but is caught & Flex lifts him up for a Torture Rack which he applies a little to well by extending Shadrack's limbs farther than they should go. He drops Shadrack in a lifeless heap as he now has his sights on Rog who is quivering in the fetal position begging for his life. The crowd is now running all over the place since they have no means of escape.FM: *who is still miced at this point* Now I yam going do give you wut a real woman should have! Dis should teach you a DAMN lesson!!! *he rips off Rog's trousers* RtD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Flex moves in as...........
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Aug 5, 2005 12:01:50 GMT -5
Ring Announcer: The following contest is an Evening Gown Match for the EWT Tag Team Championship. Introducing first, being accompanied by Gasoline and Rosa, one half of the EWT Tag Team Champions, the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels!
*HBH heads to the ring in a black evening gown. Crowd is still fuming over HBH's actions earlier and give him he***
RA: And his partner, the other half of the EWT Tag Team Champions, Limey!
*Limey heads down to the ring in a green evening gown*
RA: And their opponents, Billy and Chuck!
*Billy and Chuck come out in matching evening gowns and prance on their way to the ring*
HBH and Limey immediately jump them when they enter the ring. HBH pummels Billy, while Limey attacks Chuck. It appears that they're competing to see who will strip their opponent of their evening gown first. HBH is able to strip Billy of his gown first. Limey does the same to Chuck about 2 seconds later, and the match is over.
RA: Here are your winners and still EWT Tag Team Champions, Limey and the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels!
*HBH and Limey have a staredown. HBH eventually leaves the ring with Rosa and Gasoline*
*Fade to commercial*
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 5, 2005 12:38:51 GMT -5
*Josh Matthews is bacstage with Linda Ragnal,standing in front of the EWT banner.
JOSH:Linda,at the recent Heartbreak Hotel,Oceanic called you a real spitfire and a bit on thebrutal side.Your thoughts?
LINDA:Well,she's dead on.I mean,a lot of people don't know this,but I was in EWT's training terriotory,SCranton Area Wrestling.They had a belt that combined both the women's andhardcore division called the Kiss & Tell WOmen's Championship.And thanks to Oceanic,I was able to show off those skills.
JOSH:What about the Queen's Court Rumble?Recently Rosa announced she wanted in on becoming a #1 cintender for the EWT Girl Next Door Champion.
LINDA:Well,it's another person to look out for.But as far as I know,I'm not sure if Diva Dorf will even consider getting into the ring.
JOSH:And why is that?
LINDA:SImple.She's like any of the other eye candy back here-She can't wrestle!You heard her yelling at Toomi Bischoff about her broken angle.It's not his fault,though.
JOSH:Any words to your competition?
LINDA:Girls,I can only hope the best woman wins this match.We're all talented,and we can all hope that at least one of us can take the belt off of that lazy Hillary Clitton.Because if she somehow keeps her belt after all of this,thenyou'd have to ask...was it worth it?
*Josh turns around and looks at Mike and Joe,who are holding a bodybag and ref shirt.
JOSH:Boys,what are your thoughts on Oceanic's-
MIKE:*calmly*Look,Josh,I think everyone has spoken enough about Oceanic.We know she's still getting hea from this week,and we're still pissed at her,but right now,I have other things to focus on.
JOSH:Okay...well,let's get on to your match.At No Rest for the Wicked,you will be facing the PsychoApeGuy in a Body Bag match.And for an added twist,your brother Joe has agreed to ref this match.
MIKE:Indeed,Cole.And I can tell you that Joe will in fact call this match right down theline.
JOE:Even though the rules are to stuff your opponent into a body bag,Toomi has told me that there are a few other calls I need to make,mostly on Ape-if he uses any illegal maneuvers,such as hitting my brother with a kendo stick during the match,he will be disqualified!
MIKE:So think to yourself,Ape-are you really just out to get me,or would you like to see me taken out of the ring in fear of you and a body bag?Keep it in mind,Ape...
*fade to black*
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Post by viscera on Aug 5, 2005 12:50:11 GMT -5
( Thanks to Theo Rumm/Ted D Awesome for giving me the name of that Graduation Song )
Announcer: The following contest is a Shampoo Bottle on a pole match schdeuled for one fall!!!
A horror-like version of "Pomp and Circumstance" starts to play as Principal Pain walks down to the ring wearing his usual suit again. Canceler isn't around, but Saucy is accompanying him to the ring.
Announcer: Introducing first... representing the P.T.A. weighing in at 235 pounds, the Founder of the P.T.A., Principal Pain!!!
Pain slowly walks down to the ring, ignoring the crowd as he scoffs at this... ridiculous concept for a match. Reluctantly, he slides into the ring, ripping off his suit, and awaits his opponent.
Suddenly, Johhny B Bads theme hit's and he moseys down towards the ring.
Announcer: And his opponent, from Macon, Georgia, also weighing in at 235 lbs, Johnny B Badd!
Johnny plays to the crowd and quickly enters the ring, where a pole is set up in the ring, and a bottle of Shampoo is hanging from the pole. Johnny smirks and starts the match off with a quick clothesline ti Pain, knocking hi mdown from the get go. He then proceeds to begin stomping at his chest.
Pain gets hit a few times, then eventually rolls out of harms way, easily rising to his feet.Johnny quickly leapt up attempting a Dropkick, which Pain countered by grabbing and shoving him down to the mat. He growled and went to apply an armbar on the flamboyant wrestler.
Johnny groaned in pain as he tried to reverse the submission, but Pain's grip was pretty strong, he seemed to not want to let go. Eventually, Johnny, managed to roll out of the hold somehow, Pain gettign frustrated as he did so.
Quickly Pain grabbed Badd and attempted to whipo into the ropes, which was countered by a whip of his own. He quickly capitalzied on that with a swift enckbreaker, taking Pain down for a cover. 1...2... no kick out by Pain.
Badd glared and stomped at Pain some more, eventually lifting him back up to his feet and nailing a few swift chops to the chest. Pain groaned and held his chest in pain as Badd continued to chop away at him. Eventually, his luck ran out as Pain caught his foruth attempt and grabbed him for an armbreaker, taking Badd back down to the mat. Quickly Pain headed to end the match by grabbing the shampoo, but his foot was grabbed by Badd who rose up somehow, then landed a beautiful Dragon screw on him, taking them both down.
Badd slowly inched his way towards the shampoo when Saucy got onto the apron and undid her top, flashing Johnny her goodies, of coruse, the camera centered on the back of her head. Johnny was stunned and gazed at her baggage as Pain got back up to his feet.
As Badd was busy, Pain grabbed him from behind and hit a tiger suplex on him, taking him down. Taking the oppurtunity, he grabbed the bottle of Shampoo and undid the cap of it, standing over Badd and squirting it right into Johnny's eyes, temporarily blinding him.
As Badd was unable to see, Pain lifted him up for the Suspender, nailing it clean as the crowd booed their heads off. 1...2....
3!!! The match was voer... thanks to a controversial victory.
Announcer: Here is your winner... Prinicipal... Pai...
Before the announcer could say anything else, Causy snatched her mike and handed it gently to Pain. Pain then began to speak YET again.
Pain: Hmmmph... Johnny B Badd?! More like Johnny B Horrid!!! Of coruse, I have to thank that... peice of garabge Oceanic for allowing me to participate in this... TERRIFYING HORRID MAtch Concept!!! Don't worry my pupils... My next match will promise to be a bit more... masculine.
"Pomp and Circumstance" htis again as Pain and Saucy leave the ring...
Cut to Commercial
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 5, 2005 14:32:21 GMT -5
*Toomi Bischoff is walking backstage, where he bumps into Limey after his match. Limey's "partner" is nowhere to be seen.*
Limey, that was the fastest, sloppiest match I have EVER seen out of you. Micheals carried that entire match while you did squat to impress me. And that's why I have decided at No Rest For the Wicked that HeartBreak Hitman Bret Micheals is getting the night off but you will be seeing action.
I'm sick & tired of you wasting company time & money to find Carla. And so, Limey...you will square off against Flex Magnificent at No Rest For the Wicked LIVE on pay per view. Am I understood?
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Aug 5, 2005 15:53:22 GMT -5
Limey: Boss? You think you can punish me by chucking Flex Magnificent into my arms? (Chuckles, then is deathly serious) Everything has led me back to Flex. He knows where Carla is. I will find her. If it's your decision to give Bret the night off, fine. Keep him away from NRFTW for all I care. He'd only hog my spotlight. But if you want action, I'm your man. I will CUT the FACE OFF from Flex Magnificent! I will find out where Carla is! HE KNOWS!!! AND IF I HAVE TO BEAT HIM OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN...I will. So, if you want action, you want me to put on a good, violent, bloody, emotion-fuelled match, I'm your man.
*Limey begins to walk off, but then turns back.*
Limey: Oh, and boss? Please do not EVER say that Bret carries me. That would be ill-advised.....sir.
*Limey walks off. Toomi looks vexed, but says nothing.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 5, 2005 15:55:21 GMT -5
*Toomi Bischoff leaves a note taped on the locker room door of A-Bomb. It reads*
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Post by Poker Joker on Aug 5, 2005 16:59:54 GMT -5
(The scene opens in the locker room. Billy Ubermark is clearly worried, and is pacing back and forth, clutching his E.W.T. Tri-State Championship close to his chest with his left hand. In his right hand is a crumpled up porno magazine. Billy is soon approached by Michael Cole who is seeking an interview.)
*COLE*: I'm in the lockerroom area, right now, with E.W.T. Tri-State Champion Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark who seems to be quite distressed. Billy, does this have anything to do with your recent encounters with Maelstrom?
(Billy stops his pacing for a moment.)
*BU*: You're kidding me, right?! Do you even need to ASK that question? OF COURSE this has to do with Maelstrom. That walking pile of whale blubber is stalking me! HE'S STALKING ME, I tell you! I'm not safe anywhere! In the bathroom! In the ring! Hell, he even got to me at the Anti-Virgin Discrimination League!
*COLE*: Well, you certainly have your hands full. Maelstrom is a big competitor, and he seems to have his sites set on your Tri-State Championship!
*BU*: First off, what's he going to do with the Tri-State Championship? Put it in his fish tank so he can watch his goldfish swim around it? Fish don't wear belts, so I don't think Fish-Face knows what its is for. Secondly, I've got a little something up my sleeve to help me get rid of that reject from Atlantis. Its right here in my hand! Check out the ad I circled.
(Billy opens the cheesey porno magazine and shows a page to Michael.)
*COLE*: (reading the ad) Big Albert's Crotchless Underwear Emporium?
*BU*: Uhh.... the other one!
*COLE*: (reading another ad) Shaman LaVue's House of Magic! Spells, potions, and charms! Garunteed to ward off monsters, evil spirits, curses, bad luck, and more! Also specializing in love potions, wart removal, and handling cockroach infestations.
(Billy gets a big smile on his face.)
*BU*: Uh-huh! See! I'm gonna get me something that'll keep this fish-faced lug out of my hair for good!
*COLE*: You can't be serious.
*BU*: Oh, yes!... Yes I am! I'm DAMN serious! In fact, I'm catching a taxi down to that store in just a couple minutes.
*COLE*: Uh... that store is all the way in NEW ORLEANS!
*BU*: That's why I've gotta leave now!
(A man in an old jean jacket and a checkered shirt walks in.)
*MAN*: Someone here call for a cab?
*BU*: (Raising his hand) HERE!
*COLE*: Why don't you use your own car?
*BU*: Are you kidding?! The way things are going, Maelstrom is probably hiding in my trunk, waiting to jump out and beat me over the head with a salmon, or something! No way! C'mon cabbie, let's go! Get me where I wanna go, quick, and there'll be a nice tip in it for ya.
*MAN*: You're talkin' my language, pal!
(Billy Ubermark and the cabbie walk off screen leaving Michael Cole by himself.)
*COLE*: (yelling after Billy) Hey, uh.... would you mind bringing me back a sample of that wart remover?
(The scene fades to black.)
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Post by dorf on Aug 5, 2005 22:36:47 GMT -5
*Lodi makes entrance down to the ring upon the Lingerie Pillow fight wearing a red teddy that has an interesting bulge across the *sigh* groin. He carries a sign that says 'Did you eat your bowl of STUPID yet?' and on the other side it says, 'Please Don't laugh at me like that.' - Lodi. He enters the ring no problem. Lodi places the sign right next to the bed.*
*Dorf's music hits as its 'IT'S DORF'S TIME!' by the Radicalz blaring throughout the arena as a cult-like cheer progresses. Dorf and Diva-Dorf come out and Dorf is dressed in one of Diva-Dorf's tight blue teddy that is more revealing than Big Show at his sumo match from Wrestlemania 21. Diva-Dorf has her regular clothes to make Dorf not feel extra 'happy.' Dorf is blushing very badly and tries to control himself. Dorf enters the ring fine.*
*The ref, disgusted as he is signals for the bell to start the match. Both superstars attempt to lock up, but their 'bulges' conversed and they immediately let go of each other in a non-gay way. They go for each other again. Once again the 'bulges' get in their way once more. Both seem to be really blushing and yet pissed off.*
*Dorf and Lodi each grab a pillow and then they start to joust each other...to bad the blows didn't really either opponent. Right after Dorf realized that the pillows were not doing anything to him. So, he goes right up to a pillow-attacking Lodi and gives him a Belly-To-Belly Suplex.*
*Dorf then goes right to a fallen Lodi and the makes him stand up and delievers a German Suplex to Lodi. Dorf looks to end this quickly. Looking at the bed...Dorf has a smirk. He drags Lodi to the bed and makes him stand up. Dorf goes onto the bed and performs a Dorf-plex! As soon as Lodi landed from the Dorf-plex, the bed broke apart as it could not handle the weight whatsoever. Before Dorf could cover, Ultimo Chocula comes out of nowhere onto the ramp and has a smile.*
*Ultimo Chocula stops outside of the ring and unleashes a camera. The camera appears to be a cheap, one-time use camera. He starts to take pictures, which distracts Dorf with the flash on. This pisses off Dorf. Dorf then goes near the apron of the ring to argue with Chocula, but Chocula just keeps taking pictures of Dorf in that blue teddy.*
*After 20 or so random pictures of Dorf, Ultimo Chocula just stands there with an evil smile making Dorf worry of his future with the Ox Division Title. Chocula then leaves as he exits out by going up the ramp. Dorf is still yelling at Chocula until he totally exits the ramp. Once Dorf turned around, Lodi came out of nowhere to deliever a big boot to Dorf's face. The crowd is in disgust when they saw a lot of Lodi with that shot in their mental image. Lodi covers...*
1...................2.............Dorf barely kicks out!
*Lodi signals the end as he makes Dorf stand out and prepare for the DDT (Raven style), but it is countered by Dorf with a Back Body Drop! Dorf sees a pillow and tries to choke out Lodi with it; after a 4 count, Dorf then takes Lodi to the corner of the ring (opposite of the bed) and just leaves him there. Dorf goes up to the second turnbuckle and puts Lodi under the Pedigree form. Dorf then sets up everything perfect to perform the DORF DRIVER!*
*Dorf covers*
1.............................2.....................................3!
Winner: by Pinfall, DORF!
*Dorf & Diva-Dorf celebrate on their victory as they head to the lockerroom. Commercial occurs.*
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Post by barbwireharry on Aug 5, 2005 22:41:01 GMT -5
Kamala is making his entrance, when Barbedwire Harry runs up behind him with a chair, smashing it across his back. Harry then takes four more chairshots, then one in the head cutting Kamala. Harry then takes Kamala and tosses him off the side of the stage into the Gravy Pit. Harry then does a diving elbow off the stage, onto Kamala. Harry then lands The Barbedwired Fence on Kamala, Harry then locks on the Mandible Claw. Kamala passes out, making Harry the winner, suddenly Curtrok comes out and starts brawling with Harry. Security breaks them apart as we go into commercial.
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Post by curtrok on Aug 5, 2005 23:10:16 GMT -5
Curtrok marches out to the ring.
CR: Gimme a ******** microphone. Harry listen to me I was going to wait for the PPV for this annoucement but I'm going to say it now. Get your ass out here right now before I come back there and drag you out here.
Harry quickly jogs down to the ring.
CR: The special guest for our match is a friend of mine and he's coming to the ring now.
The arena gets dark and Botchberg chants are piped in. The crowd goes nuts and the real chants drown out the pa system.
Botchberg walks down to the ring with to a thunderous ovation.
CR: What do you think about that asshole?
BWH: I don't care if you bring the 82nd airborne I'll destroy on the 14th!
Botchberg grabs the mic.
BB: Hold on their Curtrok we may be friends but you've been a total ass these last two months. I got no beef with Harry so there is no friend ship at NRFTW I'm calling it down the middle.
CR: Yeah right! You would be making shitty movies with vin desel right now if it weren't for me you'll do what I say and like it.
BB: Is that right?
CR: Yeah that is righ.
Botchberg spears Curtrok right out of the ring gets up and walks back stage to huge pop.
Harry just laughs.
Break.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Aug 6, 2005 3:35:46 GMT -5
A promo for DSR v Spaz at No Rest For The Wicked starts to play. The Offspring song Defy You is playing.
You may push me around But you cannot win *Footage of DSR bullying jobbers* You may throw me down *Footage of Spaz on the mat.* But I'll rise again *Spaz on his feet.* The more you say *DSR with the mic.* The more I defy you So get out of my face *Spaz with the mic.*
You cannot stop us You cannot bring us down *Spaz hitting The Shockwave.* Never give up We go on and on You'll never break us Never bring us down We are alive! *Footage of the EWT Title.*
The wind blows I'll lean into the wind My anger grows I'll use it to win *Footage of DSR Hitting the Turbonegro Destroyer.* The more you say The more I defy you So get out of my way *Footage of both DSR & Spaz looking angry.*
All my will All my strength Rip it out Start again *Footage of both men in the ring doing their thing.*
You cannot stop us You cannot bring us down Never give up We go on and on You'll never break us Never bring us down We are alive! *Footage of both men celebrating victories.*
Can you leave it all behind? Can you leave it all behind? Cause you can't go back You can't go back *As the music fades out this message comes on the screen.
SUNDAY AUGUST 14 LIVE ON PPV EWT NO REST FOR THE WICKED.
DSR V SPAZ FOR THE EWT HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE.
IS THIS THE CONTINUATION OF A DYNASTY OR THE START OF A NEW ERA FIND OUT ONLY ON PPV.
*No Rest For The WIcked Logo fades to black.*
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Post by bongo on Aug 6, 2005 20:24:55 GMT -5
Anarchy In the UK played by the London Philharmonic Orcheastra plays away as we cut to a cricket bat holding gentleman with a monacle and top hat. He is wearing a pinstripe suit with the sleeves cut off revealing all manner of mis-spelt tattoos, he stands of average build (for a wrestler, about X-Pac or Jeff Hardy's size) and wears cricket shin guards over his trousers. (for future referance this is his ring attire) he stares through the camera with an ice cold stare and a stiff upper lip.
"you foolish yanks are in need of a lesson in grace, class and dignity and judging by the state of this beastly excuse for a federation you are in need of it soon. Growing up I learnt everything I knew from Soccer riots and when the soccer was off season, cricket riots! and when the cricket was cancelled we had Golf riots!!! yes theres nothing like ram raiding a SWAT van with a flaming golf buggy to build ones spirit, I'll tell you what. But soon I shall bring my talents attained on the mean streets of perthshire to your inferior tuppeny happeny excuse for a ring and when I indeed do partake on a canned beverage of whoop ass and knock the blue hell out of your roody poo simian arses, you will know my name. For I am Raffles Supernufolous a gentleman thug and an altoghether higher breed of scum"
Raffles smashes the camera lens with cricket bat, end debut promo
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Post by barbwireharry on Aug 7, 2005 2:39:31 GMT -5
*Barbwire Harry bumps into Michael Cole*
MC: Barbwire Harry, what are your thoughts on the returning Botchberg being the ref for you and Curtrok's match?
BWH: You see Cole, I couldn't care any less who it was. I just care about going into that ring and whuppin Curtrok like a dirty place mat. Because when it all comes down to the match, me and Curtrok are gonna be thumpin and bumpin to da cows come BABAY!!! BECAUSE THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE!!!! CUZ BARBWIRE SAID SO!!!!! *Walks off as we fade to commercial*
END SEGMENT
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Aug 7, 2005 4:00:55 GMT -5
*Spaz & Becky are backstage drinking Pepsi when Sum Guy walks up.*
SG: Spaz how are your prearations for Noe Rest For The Wicked coming along?
S: Great Guy, I will be in the best shape of my EWT career for the PPV so I can leave with the EWT Title around my waist. DSR doesn't know what he is in for when he steps into the ring to face me one on one. I am untouchable one on one! In all of my time here I have lost once one on one! I am a much better wrestler now than I was when that happened & come next Sunday I will prove to the world that I deserve to be the EWT Heavyweight Champion!
SG: Thanks for your time Spaz.
*Cut to No Rest For The Wicked promo.*
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Post by curtrok on Aug 7, 2005 9:41:50 GMT -5
Two jobbers are in the ring about to have a quick match for those fans remaining seated during the intermission. Just as everyone starts to go to the bathroom. Live and Let Die starts to play over the speakers.
Curtrok walks down to the ring with his trusty black baseball bat, that hasn't been seen since his sting gimmick. Curtrok slides into the ring and cracks one jobber in the ribs wit the bat. The other jobber quickly runs away.
Curtok is handed a black bag and a mic by the ring side help.
CR: You know I've been since the begining. I'm one of the few stars left that actually wrestled in a WCF ring! Do you know how many title matches I've had in a year? None! So I decided to make my own belt.
This is the F.T.W belt. Do you know what F.T.W stands for?
*A fan shouts out. F*** the World and F*** you Curtrok.
CR: You fat slob, you would think it stood for that. It stands for Full Time Wrestler! That's what I am, that's what I do. After I dispose of Harry at the PPV. I'll put this FTW title up against anyone who wants a shot!
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Aug 7, 2005 10:15:42 GMT -5
*Were in the Aquarium with Sean Mooney*
Sean Mooney: Hi everyone, I'm Sean Mooney and I'm here in the Aquarium hoping to get a few comments with Maelstrom . .
*Sean Mooney walks around the vast Aquarium but finds no one . . . he gets to what looks like the living area . . and picks up a note off the table*
SM: . . hmm . . . all it says is Gone Fishing . . . I wonder what that could mean . . .
*Just then Mark Jindrak walks into view, he's carrying a chair*
SM: . . Jindrak what are you doing here?
Jindrak: I'm here to beat Maelstrom to a pulp with this steel chair . .
SM: . . Yes well, everyweek you try to do that . . and every week Maelstrom sends you back to hospital . . . anyway he's not here . .
Jindrak: What! . . .
SM: He left a note on his table . . all it said was 'gone fishing' . .
Jindrak: . . Ah-hah, he must have gone to New Orleans to assault Billy som . . . ugh . .
*Maelstrom has just walked in and clobbered Jindrak, he then powerbombs him onto the chair Jindrak had brought with him*
SM: Maelstrom we'd thought you'd gone to New Orleans . .
Maelstrom: . . . I said I'd gone fishing . . . relaxes the mind . . . . except when that idiot Lesnar turns up and scares away all the fish . . . one day that shark will get even . . .
SM: So not New Orleans?
Maelstrom: Where? . . . oh yeah, Billy . . . *laughs* . . why bother . . . the tide always brings everything back . . . how else is he going to see if his rat droppings or magic charms work . . . *laughs again* . . .
SM: Your not concerned about what he may buy . . ?
Maelstrom: . . . you kidding right? . . you actually think some hokum medallion will stop me . . . I'm not the undead, I don't howl at the moon, young virgins won't be attacked in the night . . . well except Billy of course . . .*Laughs some more* . . . no Mooney . . . I'm not worried at all . . .
SM: Well folks there you have it . . . any last words before we go back to J.R and Jesse?
Maelstrom: . . well . . only that . .
*The Crowd chants . . 'The Tide Will Turn!'*
Maelstrom: . . exactly . .
*Maelstrom picks up Jindrak and throws him out of the Aquarium and then goes to tend to the marine life*
SM: Back to you at ringside . .
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Post by garyhartsgoatee on Aug 7, 2005 12:53:07 GMT -5
*Pza, Destroyer, and Epidemik are standing in the middle of the ring... Pza has a microphone*
Pza: Ya know... Noone has been paying attention to The Balance of Power since we formed... It seems we aren't big enough for the general masses... So we did the only thing we could do... We grew... We called Epidemik, and he was more than happy to lend his services. But still noone payed attention... So we have decided to grow even larger.... And when we say LARGE we mean LARGE!
Destroyer: Maybe we will be noticed if we bring out our secret weapon... The most dangerous man in the EWT... I'm not sure if we should though... We may be unleashing an animal on the EWT that noone can stop...
Epidemik: Well, think about it Pza... At SBTB who did you wrestle?
Pza: Ultimo Chocula...
Epidemik: And who won that match?
Pza: I did *Holds newly restored GRM Title over his head to a mixture of cheers and boos*
Epidemik: And what reward did you get for winning the GRM Title?
Pza: ummmm...
Epidemik: NOTHING! But what did Chocula get for loosing the match? A shot at the OX Division Title! Now how is that fair Pza?
Pza: It's not... Not at all... You know what, you're right! The EWT dosen't deserve us to go easy on them...
Destroyer: Then let's do this thing! LADIES AND GENTLEMAN... THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE BALANCE OF POWER... THE BIGGEST MAN IN THE EWT...
*Moving on Up by M-People begins to play as Destroyer's vioce gets louder*
Destroyer: CURLY LONG AND MR. BIG!!!
*The crowd begins chanting VLB...VLB...VLB..*
Pza: Show the man some respect you worthless plebians!
*Curly and Mr. Big enter the ring and Curly is given a microphone*
Curly: . . thank you Pza, Destroyer and Epidemik . .
*The chants of VLB get louder*
Curly: . . now now, this isn't the time for name calling . . . the time for that is when your girl decides its time for a taste of Curly Long . .
*the Crowd boos*
Curly: . . you know its true ladies, hey Big get that girls number she is really digging me . . .
*the female member of the audience that Curly is refering to looks horrified, as Mr. Big leaves the ring to get her phone number *
Curly: . . while Big takes care of my evening i'll ansewr the big question. Many of you are asking yourselves why such a great and gifted athlete such as myself would join The Balance of Power . . but despite my huge talents and unbeaten streak . . not to mention my numerous midget titles . . . I am not seen by those in positons of power . . its as if i'm not on the same level . . twice I have been ignored on the match board . .*Curly picks his nose and flicks it at a fan* . . so I had to set up my own matches! . . Max-Mini, Boston Brawler & Scotty too Hotty have all witnessed my skill and brutality . . so I Curly Long have taken the next step . . . I have joined Pza, Destroyer and Epidemik as they share that same discrimination of being passed over! . . . The balance of power is shifting! . . and it just got a whole lot bigger! . .
*The crowd continues to boo*
Pza: Now with that being said, I have something else to say... To you people. We have tried to please you... I came out here and put my body on the line to entertain you.... And I didnt win ONE DAMN SCAMMIE! Well i'm sick of going out of my way to please a bunch of people who don't appreciate me... I'M THE GENE RAYBURN MEMORIAL CHAMPION FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
*Crowd boos*
Destroyer: You people just don't understand great talent and determination when you see it.
*Epidemik climbs out of the ring and reaches under it. He pulls out a black duffel bag and slides it into the ring following behind it, Mr.Big also returns to the ring handing the aquired phone number to Curly*
Epidemik: We have a surprise for you people... I'm sure you will love this DORF...
*Destroyer reaches into the bag and pulls out 3 titles... The 3 remaining Stable Titles from his stint with MTWTFSS... And hands Pza Epidemik and Curly one each.*
Destroyer: Now people... You will show us some respect... Or we will take it from you!
Pza: And don't just F*** YOU... Don't just F*** THE EWT... BUT
Pza, Destroyer, Epidemik and Curly: F*** THE FANS!
*The crowd boos loudly as the new stable champions hold their titles above their heads*
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