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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on Aug 7, 2005 16:07:25 GMT -5
*Allan Funk aka Kwee Wee walks out to a few cheers from the fans wearing a white night gown....he stands in the ring to await the arrival of his opponent. A-Bomb walks down to the ring wearing an lightly airbrush see through gown accompanied by Stevie Richards.The fans still mark for him as he slaps hands with them on the way down. A-Bomb climbs into the ring and gives Allan a cocky look.*
They both grab a pillow off of the bed and wait for the bell to ring. The bell rings and the two are hitting each other back and forth as feathers fly all over the place. A-Bomb dodges a shot from Allan and tosses a pillow at him. Funk catches it and A-Bomb nails a spinning heel kick right into the pillow. Allan sells it as if it was a chair and falls onto the bed. A-Bomb leaps onto the top rope and nails a Perfect 10 Frog Splash onto Allan breaking the bed.
A-Bomb lifts Funk's head up right before the 3 count signalling that he has more in store. A-Bomb positions Allan in the corner and tells Stevie to hold a pillow in front of Allan's face. A-Bomb is standing on the ring apron looking at the crowd as the goe nuts. He looks back at his opponent across the ring....A-Bomb springboards over the bed and across the ring nailing a flipping dropkick into Allan's face. A-Bomb drags him out of the corner and finishes him of with a springboard Hang Over...1..2..3.
*A-Bomb grabs a mic*
A-Bomb:I don't know who my opponent is for the PPV. Whoever he is....this is just a sample of what I have in store.*drops the mic and leaves the ring with his wife through the crowd*
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 7, 2005 18:09:06 GMT -5
ANNOUNCER:He was set to face an opponent.
MIKE:Sieve is a f***ing coward!
A:But instead,he faced a maniac.
*Footage from SBTB:TCY between Ape and Mike.*
JR:Oh mah gawd!
JV:Somebody stop that psycho!
A:Now,he is set to take him...
*footage of a body bag.*
A:To his death!
MIKE:I will make the Psychotic Ape a Cowardly Chimp!
APE:Rest...in...piece!
MIKE RAGNAL PSYCHOAPEGUY IN A BODY BAG MATCH AND...
*Fade plays as footage of Joe Ragnal plays.*
JR:Bah gawd,I don't believe my eyes!The referree for the match!
CROWD:Go,Joe,Go!Go,Joe,Go!
SPECIAL GUEST REFERREE,JOE RAGNAL
JOE:I will call this match down the line,but Ape can be disqualified!
EWT PRESENTS NO REST FOR THE WICKED SUNDAY,AUGUEST 14TH ONLY ON PPV
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Post by Teddy Awesome- Back in Style on Aug 7, 2005 18:14:30 GMT -5
The Fink: The fallowing is a GRAVY BOWL MATCH! In this match, anywhere in the ring is legal including the table of food, but only pinfalls inside the giant tub of gravy count as a victory.
*The Hammer’s Music plays as Greg Valentine walks out in a female pilgrim outfit*
Fink: From Seattle, Washington. At a height of 6 feet even, and weighting in a 245 pounds… Greg… “The Hammer”… VALENTINE!
*The crowd gives a mixed emotion to Greg, half are happy to see him in the EWT, the other half is booing because he is in full heel mode, insulting the crowd and faking high fives and a few are laughing because he has to wrestle in that outfit. He gets into the ring and warms up by pulling the ropes*
*Pre Captain Charisma Christian Sparklers go off and Fight For Your Right plays as the crowd starts to cheer.*
Fink: And from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Standing at 6’ 1” and weighting in at 215 pounds… “The Human Whoopass Machine”… THEO RUMM!
*Theo does his normal shtick, running to each side of the stage, and blitzing down to the ring after the first chorus. Sliding into the ring easily despite the fact he too is in a female pilgrim’s outfit. Theo gets up to a quick, Lenser-esque ring pryo.*
Theo (To Valentine): Well, this should be interesting.
Valentine (To Theo): Tell me about it.
*The Bell Rings as the match gets underway*
Theo and Greg get into a lock up. Both push away as they start moving around. Greg motions out to the ramp as if someone was coming, Theo looks around to see nothing, and returns to get a face full of mashed potatoes from Greg. Theo wipes off the potatoes, charges at Greg, and does a Thesz press fallowed up by punches. The ref starts to count out the illegal move…
1…2…3…4…
Theo gets off Greg and elbow drops onto him. He then runs, bounce off the ropes, comes back and goes for a baseball slide… but hits nothing but mat as Greg springs out of the way. Greg picks up Theo and tries to bounce his head of the table but Theo manages to reverse it and give Greg a taste of turkey as he slams Greg’s head square into it.
Theo: OOOOOOOWWWWWW EAT TURKAY!!! (Writer’s Note: Sorry, Ape, It just works for this situation.)
Theo Irish whips Greg into the ropes and hits a Manhattan drop on him. Greg really sells the move as he starts spazing out on the ground; holding is crotch and screaming in pain. Theo tries to pick him up but gets kicked in the gut by Greg. Greg gets up and starts doing bionic elbows on Theo and set him up for a sledgehammer (Not the weapon, the move), but gets nothing but air as Theo dodges and sets Greg up for a German Suplex into the gravy in the kiddie pool located near the table of food. Theo head springs up and rips off the outfit to reveal his normal wrestling clothes. He picks up Greg, and attempts another German Suplex, but gets blocked by Greg, who elbows Theo square in the face. Theo lets go of Greg and tries charging again, no dice. Greg toe drops him on the ground. Valentine senses a window of opportunity and sets up Theo in the Figure 4 Leg lock! Theo is screaming in pain as he starts to struggle to the ropes. After a minute in the lock, Theo wisely flips over to reverse the pain, Greg eventually gets out of the lock and both men are on the ground, holding here legs. The ref starts to count out both the wrestlers…
1…2…3…4…5…6…
Theo is up at 6 with Greg right behind him a 7. Double Arm Slashes…Theo’s signalling for the end! He set’s the little kiddie pool-like gravy pit near a turnbuckle, he brings Greg to the top rope, he goes up too, locks the feet in the 2nd ropes, positions Greg… and NAILS THE SPIDER FALLAWAY! Rumm set up for a Rumm on Tap… and CONNECTS into a pin!
The ref counts.
1… 2… 3!
IT’S OVER!
*Ref signals for the bell. Fight For Your Right plays again and Theo is celebrating by eating some of the un-ruined food. Valentine slowly gets up and looks at Theo, he extends out his hand for a handshake. Theo shakes Greg’s hand and he leaves the ring…
“Ride the Lightning” By Metallica starts playing over the PA and WDD comes out looking pissed as ever*
WDD: ENOUGH! I DONE WAITING! REST FOR THE WICKED IS TOO FAR AWAY! I’M PUTTING YOU OUT FOR GOOD RIGHT NOW!
*WDD storms to the ring, and starts the run at Theo, but gets at face full of pumpkin pie. Theo runs off into the back before WDD has time to wipe the pie from his face.*
[glow=Green,2,300]*COMMERCIAL TIME!!!*[/glow]
Announcer: NEW! EWT Action figures!
*Shows kids playing with said action figures*
Kid 1 (Holding A-Bomb figure): PPPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEE! EXLAIMATION POINT!
Kid 2 (Holding Ubermark figure): THAT… IS VIRGIN DISCRIMINATION!
Kid 3 (Holding Les E. BiAise Figure): I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT!!
Kid 2: THAT’S ALSO VIRGIN DISCRIMINATION!
Kid 4 (Holding Dorf Figure): KNOW YOUR SOUL AND SHUT YER TRAP!
Kid 2: STOP WITH THE VIRGIN DISCRIMINATION ALREADY!
Announcer: Flexible, bendable, poseable, and great for holding matches with in the NEW! EWT mini arena!
Kid 5 (Holding Theo Rumm Figure): I JUST… WON’T… QUIT!
Kid 6 (Holding WDD Figure): You’re about to have another… ACCIDENT!
Announcer: GET YOUR PARENTS TO BUY THEM TODAY! IF THEY DON’T, THEY DON’T LOVE YOU!
Kid 7 (Holding Mike Ragnal Figure): And THAT… is the SHOCKING TRUTH!
Kid 2 (Yelling loudly and quickly): [glow=red,2,300]VIRGIN DISCRIMINATION!!![/glow]
*End Commercial*
*We see WDD furiously trying to find Theo*
WDD: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
*Theo Appears from a corner*
Theo: Hey! Looking for someone? Need help? I’m sure I could find them for ya!
WDD: I’M GOING TO MAKE YOU WISH YOU DIDN’T DO THAT!
*WDD goes by the corner only to be beat up by the Billion Dollar Corporation! After the massive beat down by Theo, Bomb and Les, Theo leaves WDD with one message*
Theo: Listen up, punk. This little brother here? Guess what? He’s got a posse. THE BILLION DOLLA CORPORATION, MENG! And my “accidents” are about to stop!
*Theo starts to leave but stops and turns back to WDD*
Theo: And oh, it looks like your gonna need some bandages *motions to where WDD is starting to bleed on his own head*, so here…
*Theo reaches into his pocket and retrieves a five-dollar bill*
Theo: This should cover it…
*Theo tosses the bill at him as BDC leaves the sprawling-to-get-up WDD and get into a limousine and ride out of the arena.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 7, 2005 20:00:09 GMT -5
*Toomi Bischoff is walking backstage when he bumps into Mike, who used to be in the Nyrds.*
Micheal, such a pleasure to see you backstage. I must say, you are looking better in the ring ever since the break up of the Nyrds. In fact, I have decided on 2 somethings that may interest you if you're willing to accept it.
This Wednesday, the Path of the Wicked will air LIVE on Must See TV to prepare the fans for what is going to come a week from today. And Micheal, you are booked to face Billy Ubermark for the Tri-State Championship. And after that is all said & done, then Sunday at No Rest For the Wicked you will face your former tag team partner Joel in one on one action if the first ever Battle of the Nyrds.
Think about my offers Micheal. The fans want to see it.
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Post by briangold on Aug 7, 2005 21:01:12 GMT -5
"I'm an Ass-Man! Yeah, I'm an Ass-Man"
Billy Gunn runs out, fully clad in evening wear, no shame being shown. He slides in under the ropes, and shakes his rear to the pleasure of no one.
Then, a song that sounds very much like "Miss Jackson" begins to play. However, the familiar chorus has changed...
"I'm sorry Miss Nelson Oooh I am for real Didn't want to crack you baby's skull But the feeling was so magical"
Mike walks out as his Remix plays, clad in the evening gown, yes, but wears pants underneath. He no longer wears glasses, and his hair is gelled and spiked. Once Mike reaches the ring, he hops up to the apron, jumps to the top rope and hits Billy with a Springboard Leg Lariat. Mike jumps up at the same time Billy does, and Mike delivers a deep arm drag, rolling Billy to the corner. Billy stands in the corner, supporting himself with the ropes. Mike comes running, hits him with a leg lariat across the chest, and with a Pele Kick as he falls out of the corner. Mike climbs up to the top, and jumps off to perform some sort of move, but doesn't get it out, as Billy hits him with a drop kick. Mike drops to the mat, and Billy follows up with well placed stomps. Mike rolls out of the ring, and recupperates on the outside.
Billy tries to hit Mike with a baseball slide, but Mike dodges it, and meets Billy with some punches, followed by a roaring elbow to the head, which Mike has re-named "X-Box You Up". Billy stumbles into the rail, and Mike leaps up to the apron. He comes off with a spinning back heel kick, with enough force to send Billy over the guard rail. However, Mike lands in a way that he catches his leg on the top of the guard rail, and now hangs from it by his knee. Mike rolls off, and stumbles around the ringside, allowing Billy enough time to get into the ring. Suddenly, Mike is okay, and he slides into the ring. Mike begins his flawed knee injury selling, and walks around the ring. Billy goes after him with some fierce punches, and bodyslams him. Billy pulls him to the turnbuckle, and goes up to the top. You can tell this is fantasy because Billy belongs no where near the top.
Suddenly, Mike handsprings to his feet, his knee injury forgotten, and hits Billy with a hurricanrana off the top rope. Billy lands, and Mike climbs to the top again. With Billy still on the mat, Mike comes off the top rope with what was formerly the Philo Tap, but is now renamed Grand Theft Auto III. Mike goes for the cover, and gets the win.
Mike jumps up, rubs his "sore knee" and then rips off his evening gown, revealing he was wearing a T-Shirt underneath. The T-Shirt depicts the X-Box and PS2 logos on the front, with Tommy Vercetti kneeling over the Gamecube with his pants down on the back. The crowd roars with fury, but then changes to loud pops.
Joel jumps out through the crowd, a Kendo Stick in hand. He slides in the ring behind Mike, and swats the back of Mike's "injured" leg. Mike falls back, and Joel swats his leg a few more times. Then he tosses the stick away, and locks in the Figure 8-Bit Memory, at first standing up, and then hits the laying down version. Mike thrashes about in pain, and the hold is soon broken up by refs and security. Mike is helped to the back as Joel stays in the ring. The crowd roars it's approval for him, and "Radio, Radio" by Elvis Costello and the Attractions begins to play. Joel climbs to the top rope and salutes the crowd. Head to commercial... ***
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Post by invaderdave on Aug 7, 2005 21:07:35 GMT -5
Fun, 80's-esque music that sounds suspiciously like "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor plays, and out hops and bops Eugene, followed by Christy Hemme, clad in Cheer-Gear.
They skip down to the ring, which now has a pool of Jello in it, and Eugene dives right in, and begins eating it.
"Drunken Butterfly" by Sonic Youth begins to play, and out walks...No one.
It stops, and plays again, but yet again no Dave.
The Fink: The winner of this match by default, Eugene!
Eugene jumps around in the pool and eats until his heart's content. Christy watches him, smile pasted on tight.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Aug 7, 2005 21:58:05 GMT -5
Summ Guy: "Heya folks! I'm Summ Guy and I take baths in Log Cabin maple syrup. Right now I've got Ultimo Chocula, one of the participants in the Triple Threat Ladder Match for the OX Division title, and I want to get a word with him. Ultimo, what was the deal with you taking pictures of Dorf in his match?" UC: "Why do you think, jerky? Humiliation! Duh! I got the best shots of Gorf in his old ladies undies! Do I need to spell it out for you?" SG: "No, I get it now. You plan on humiliating him with those pictures of him in lingerie." UC: "Wrong again, nut sack. I'm using this as evidence that I'm mucho sexier than him! See for yourself! (holds up a picture of dorf from his match) Here we have dingus in his pair of favorite panties (Holds up a picture of himself wearing the sparkly G string from his chocolate pit match) and here's me looking all super fine! Now, which hotel room do you think the ladies will be flocking to after each show? Mine or his? Let's have ourselves a look see. (holds up his pic) Oh yeah! (holds up Dorf picture) Oh no! (UC pic) Yummy yummy yummy! (Dorf pic) Blech! (UC pic) Boom shakka lakka! (Dorf pic) Thphpthphtpthptthpt! Of course if you want to see more just log onto www.ultimochoculaissuperrad.com and go to the sexy section where you can be the judge for yourself!" (Just then Michael Cole shows up.) Cole: "Ahem....umm.....do you mind if I get a copy of those Dorf pictures for.....um........charity?" UC: "Here, you can have this one." (UC shoves the pic of Dorf down Cole's throat then chucks him into the snack bar. He then sticks Cole's head under the pop machine and drenches him in Tab.) SG: "I guess the interview is over. That's the news that is news. I'm Summ Guy and I played with GI Joes instead of going to the prom."
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Post by DSR on Aug 8, 2005 1:39:47 GMT -5
*Todd Pettingill is seen walking through a hotel room hallway.
Todd: Folks, no one has seen DSR for the past few days. With a World Title defense coming soon, we had to find out exactly where he is! I've managed to find out that he's in this hotel, so I'm gonna try and get a word with the champ!
*Todd walks up to a door and knocks on it. Sexy Translator opens it.
Sexy Translator: What's up Todd?
Todd: Is DSR here?
ST: Yeah, he's over on the bed.
*DSR is seen sitting on the bed, watching what seems to be videos of himself shacking up with blonde prostitutes. DSR suddenly gets up from the bed and grabs Todd's microphone.
DSR: What exactly were you expecting to find, Todd? I bet you were expecting to find me here, watching footage of Spaz hit the Turbonegro Destroyer, isn't that right, Todd?
Todd: Well, you gotta admit, he did-
DSR: I don't have to admit anything, Todd! I bet little Spaz thought he was really gonna get under my skin with that. Well, to be honest, I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised that Spaz, being the talentless hack that he is, stole my finisher! Cause all the crappy kids of the EWT have stolen from me. In the beginnings of the EWT, Hitmanmark stole my first shot at the spotlight! ABomb stole so much from me, latching on to me like a parasite, only to rob me of what I rightfully deserved. And to be honest, everyone that's come through the EWT after me has tried to steal the best from me, tried to put themselves over at my expense. They TRIED to take MY DIGNITY FROM ME! And they came damn close, too. But, know this...everytime someone stole something from me, I rose above. When everyone was begging the boss to make them look good, I made MYSELF look good. When people disrespected me and treated me like a jobber, I pushed myself to become BETTER than everyone else in this business. Congratulations, Spaz. You swiped my move. But, A, you haven't fazed me in the least bit, and, B, you are NOT stealing my title from me. I've got everything I need to beat you. And everything I need is IN ME. Because I am damn sure gonna prove that I. AM. BETTER. Than you.
*DSR nails an emokick on Todd. End scene.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Aug 8, 2005 4:51:17 GMT -5
*Sum Guy is standing backstage next to the EWT logo.*
SG: I am Sum Guy & I use gravy as underam deoderant. I have some late breaking news from Toomi Bischoff. This wednesday on the Path of the Wicked we will have a live in ring contract signing for the Main Event both Spaz & DSR will be in the irng at the same time for the first time since Spaz became No1. Contender. Toomi Bischoff himself will be on hand to ensure things don't get out of control. Tune in this wednesday to see what happens at this contract signing.
*Cut To Commercial.*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Aug 8, 2005 6:28:53 GMT -5
*Were at the exit of the EWT arena with Curly Long and Mr. Big . . . Curly is looking slightly unhappy*
Curly: Big that girls number you gave me . . . you sure it was the right one . . . all I get is a robotic voice telling me to press numbers . . and then it goes to some bloke who wants to sell me car insurance! . . . I don't even own a car! . . .
Mr.Big: . . um . .
Curly: Its ok Big . . . She probably thought I was too much to handle . . and who could blame her . . .
*A VLB chant is heard as Curly chuckles to himself . . this is interrupted by the Trainer*
Trainer: Curly Long, you just joined The Balance of Power . . . why would you join up with such a . .
Curly: and you are?
Trainer: . . er . . I'm the Trainer . . . Chris Trainerman . . . I've replaced the Coach since he became big time . .
Curly: Listen shorty! the only Big thing around here is me . . I'm an EWT Stable Champion!. . . you heard about that guy who was 'The Next Big Thing' . .
Trainer: . yeah that was Broc . .
Curly: Shut it! . . that was me! . . . Paul Heyman saw my potential and gave me the ball in the MCW . . and I ran with it all the way to the stratosphere!
Trainer: . .er . . . MCW? . .er . .
Curly: what are you that dumb? . . Midget Championship Wrestling! . . . but I grew hungry for bigger things . . but since getting here . . I have been ignored . . . me a towering figure of a man . . ignored! . .
Trainer: . . . zzz. . . zzz . .
*The Trainer has fallen asleep while interviewing Curly*
Curly: Hey!! . . your not listening Trainer . . Big!
*Big grabs trainer and slaps him a few times . . bored of this Big simply powerbombs the Trainer though a nearby table . . . Big then passes the mike to Curly*
Curly: But thats about to change . . . now with my new found allies The Balance of Power, the EWT will see me! . . and my priorities have grown as well. . . I don't want the Ox title . . or the Tri-State Title . . oh no . . . I want the EWT World Title . . . nothing less . . . . C'mon Big lets get out of here . . .
*Curly throws the mike away as Mr. Big carries him out of the EWT arena*
(cut to commercial)
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 8, 2005 12:13:53 GMT -5
*Th Ragnals are looking at this week's match card,going over the matches.*
MIKE:Well,look at that.A Bodybag match for the Wednesday special.
JOE:Matt Stryker...Ain't that the school teahcer who was too weak to immediately tap out to the Ankle Lock?
MIKE:No,I think he's the guy that dressed up like the Macho Man.
JOE:Ah.Oh,hey,Lind,look at this!You got your match against Oceanic!
LINDA:Hey,at least we'll be ready for the Queen's Court Rumble.
JOE:Well,guys,I wish ya the best of luck Wednesday.Me,I'ma just be on the sidelines rooting for ya.
MIKE:Thanks,bro.
*Mike and Linda walk off.Joe stays behind and looks at the card a bit more.He then writes down under Ultimo Chocula's name-'Crazy Loon!'And then walks off.*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Aug 8, 2005 16:36:20 GMT -5
*We are in a seedy looking nightclub downtown, Curlys' phone is ringing*
Mr.Big: . . . sir . . . your phone . . .
Curly: . . what . . oh damm not now, those spanish girls with that amazing trick are about to come on . . . ah . . ok . . give me the phone.
*Mr.Big gives Curly the phone*
Curly: Hello? . . . . . what? . . . a match you say . . . right now? . . . . i'll be there . .
*Curly puts the phone down and looks at Mr. Big*
Curly: You see . . . I told you . . . I'm on the match board! . . . all it took was some recognition and association with others in my situation . . thanks to Destroyer, Eidemik and Pza i'm now getting the correct treatment . . . I wonder who my opponent will be . . . . maybe its Randy Orton, or Jim Duggan maybe Raven . . . you don't think they might of . . . . I bet they have . . . oh I can't wait . . . a match with Sting! . . . . quick lets get back . . . I don't want to keep the Stinger waiting . . .
*Mr.Big lifts up Curly and heads out of the club . . they hail a taxi and set off for the EWT arena*
(fade out)
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Aug 8, 2005 16:57:05 GMT -5
*Backstage in the EWT arena Maelstrom is taping up and getting ready for his match . . Micheal Cole is trying to get some words from him*
Micheal Cole: Maelstrom . . . do you have any thoughts on your match tonight? . . . or maybe something on Billy 'The Virgin' Ubermark . .?
Maelstrom: . . .
*As Maelstrom is about to answer a large shadow moves across Micheal Cole, Big John Studd suddenly grabs cole and throws him out of the way! . . Maelstrom stands up to confront Big John they have a stare off! . . Maelstrom loses some height to John as they continue to stare each other down. John then takes a step back and offers his hand*
Big John Studd: Hey, no tricks . . .
*Maelstrom takes Big John Studds Hand and they shake*
Big John Studd: Lets have a good clean match . . I think we can show this audience what a real big man battle is all about . .
Maelstrom: Thats what i'm all about . . . show me some respect and the sea will be rough, but controlled. Lets give them one hell of a show! . .
Big John Studd: then I'll see you in the ring . .
*Big John Studd walks off, as Maelstrom sits down and continues to prepare*
(Cut to commercial)
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Post by Poker Joker on Aug 8, 2005 17:01:11 GMT -5
(The scene opens in a swampy setting outside of New Orleans, LA. An old shack sits out in the middle of the swamp land with a gravel road running in front of it. The sounds of bullfrogs and crickets can be heard quite clearly. Eventually, a taxi cab comes down the road and pulls up beside the house. Once it stops, out of the cab jumps Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark, who stretches his arms for a moment. After a couple seconds, a voice is heard from inside the cab.)
*CAB DRIVER*: HEY! Don't forget about the fare for this ride!
*BU*: Huh?... Oh, yeah! Yeah! The fare. (Billy pulls out his wallet and hands him a credit card) Just be sure to bill it to the E.W.T. care of Commissioner Toomi Bischoff.
*CAB DRIVER*: No problem. But with this new system in our cabs, I can only enter the amount for the fare, ya know. Nothing for tips.
*BU*: I see! And I DID promise you a big tip for this. (Billy pulls some money out of his wallet and hands it to the man.) There you go! You've earned every penny of it!
*CAB DRIVER*: (Disappointed) A $3.00 tip?!! After a 500 mile cab ride?!
*BU*: Yep! Not bad, huh?
*CAB DRIVER*: (Sarcasticly) Boy. Ain't you generous.
*BU*: I know. Now why don't you turn the cab around and wait for me. If you do, once we get back to the arena, I'll give you a bigger tip. Probably a whole buck extra.
*CAB DRIVER*: (angry and sarcastic) Wow. With that, my mother might be able to get that heart transplant she's needing.
*BU*: Is your mom sick? I'm sorry. If she's a wrestling fan, I could give her an autographed picture of me, instead. I bet she'd love it.
*CAB DRIVER*: (grumbling) Whatever.
(Billy walks up the steps of the cabin and goes inside. In the cabin there are two or three shelves full of potions, charms, trinkets, and so forth. Billy makes his way past the shelves to a man sitting in the front, who is chewing on some tobacco.)
*BU*: Excuse me. Is this LaVue's House of Voodoo?
(The man behind the counter spits out his tobacco and wipes some juice off his mouth with his hand.)
*LAVUE*: (speaking with a thick cajun accent) Dat it is, my friend! I'm LaVue! What can I do fo' ya?
(The LaVue extends his hand he just wiped his mouth with to Billy in a friendly gesture. Billy cautiously shakes LaVue's hand in disgust, and then wipes it on his pants.)
*BU*: Ugh.... I, uh, I need some magic.
*LAVUE*: Well, den you've come to da right place. We've got just 'bout everything you need. Spells.... potions.... charms.... you name it! Whtcha be needin'?
*BU*: Well, I need something to ward off evil.
*LAVUE*: We can DEFINITELY help you wit' dat. What kind o' evil be botherin' you? Demons? Ghosts? A curse?
*BU*: Actually, its a Maelstrom!
*LAVUE*: I see! I see! Um... Help ol' LaVue out, here. I deal wit so much o' dis stuff dat its hard to keep it all straight, sometimes. What's a Maelstrom, again?
*BU*: Oh its a big, oafish thing that's been bothering me for a while, now! Its really strong, and its obsessed with fish!
*LAVUE*: Uh... Yeah! Yeah! Now I remember. They's an ugly critter, ain't they?
*BU*: Boy, this one sure is! He looks like his face got caught in the propeller of a boat motor.
*LAVUE*: I understand! Well, you came to da right place, my friend. I'll put my best man on dis case, right now!
(LaVue claps his hands twice, and yells something incomprehensable into a room behind him. After a few seconds out of the back room, comes Papa Shango!)
*BU*: THAT'S your best man?
*LAVUE*: Sure 'nuff! Ain't nobody better in these parts! (LaVue turns to Shango.) Shango! Dis man here be needin' our help. He's got himself a problem with a Maelstrom! Better start makin' a T-38 fo' him. He's gonna need it.
*PAPA SHANGO*: (spreading some dust on the floor as he talks) Very well! I will call upon the spirits of the ancient ones to enter this area so that the great process can begin.
*LAVUE*: (turning back to Billy) Uh-Oh! You'd best go wait outside, my friend. When he says dat, it means dat he's got some real work ahead o' him, and he needs all da privacy he can get.
*BU*: (looks at Papa Shango) OK. Well... if he's saying that, then I guess he knows what he's doing. I'll be out here, waiting.
(I'll be out here waiting)
*LAVUE*: Uh... first, would ya mind payin' fo' dis? We've got a policy... Cash first! Magic second!
*BU*: Are you sure that's necessary?
*LAVUE*: Oh yes! I personally don't mind, but Papa Shango over there... he kinda worries about dis kind o' stuff. And if he's thinkin' 'bout his money, he may not get da spell exactly right. And you don't want dat when yo' dealin' wit somethin' as tough as a Maelstrom, do ya?
*BU*: Nope! That makes sense to me. How much?
*LAVUE*: Oh, dis is gonna be somethin' simple, so I think we only need t' ask fo'..... (LaVue thinks for a second).... $500. Cash only.
(Billy is taken back by the price for a second, but then simply opens up his wallet and hands LaVue some money.)
*BU*: I guess its worth it. I'll be waiting outside. Just yell when its ready.
*LAVUE*: Dat I will, sir! Dat I will!
(Billy goes outside to wait. After he's left, Papa Shango stops spreading dust around and walks over to LaVue.)
*PAPA SHANGO*: Hey, boss. There's no such thing as a T-38.
*LAVUE*: I know dat.
*PAPA SHANGO*: I figured. And what's a Maelstrom, anyway?
*LAVUE*: Dat I DON'T know. But I DO know dat a guppy is a guppy. And if dat stupid cityslicker is willin' t' drive down here and plunk $500 down fo' us t' do some hocus pocus, I figure dat he's as big a guppy as there comes. So we might as well take his money, no?
*PAPA SHANGO*: (chuckling) I hear ya, boss. I'll whip up a little something for this goofball, so he thinks he's getting his money's worth.
*LAVUE*: Sounds good, my friend! I'll sit here and watch our boy swat at da mosquitos for a while.
(Papa Shango chuckles again as he starts rummaging through the shelves for something to give Billy. The scene fades to black.)
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Post by Poker Joker on Aug 8, 2005 17:09:55 GMT -5
(The scene opens inside the old shack in New Orleans. Its been about an hour and Papa Shango and LaVue are playing a game of cards over the cashier's counter. LaVue draws a card off the of the deck and then lays his hand down on the table.)
*LAVUE*: Gin!
*PAPA SHANGO*: (Throwing his cards on the counter) Damn it! That's three in a row!
*LAVUE*: What can I say, cher! When ya got it, ya got it!
(Suddenly the voice of Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark is heard from outside.)
*BU*: Hey, in there? Are you guys done, yet?
(LaVue and Shango quickly hide the deck of cards. Shango then grabs a skull, holds it over a cheap looking piece of jewelry, and starts chanting something that nobody understand.)
*LAVUE*: As a matter o' fact, we is, my friend! C'mon in and see fo' yourself!
(Billy Ubermark enters the shack, again.)
*BU*: Great! I was getting eaten up. You know, you guys got one hell of a lot of mosquitos out there. And that's saying a lot coming from me, since I'm from Minnesota.
*LAVUE*: Yeah! Dat's what comes from livin' in da swamp, though.
*BU*: Maybe you should come up with a magic potion to keep the skeeters away from you.
*LAVUE*: We did! Frog Skin Oil! Skeeters is scared of it! I'll sell ya a bottle fo' $70!
(Billy gets a disgusted look on his face.)
*BU*: Uh... no thanks. Let's just see what you've got for me?
*LAVUE*: Sure 'nuff! Shango! Show this gentleman whatcha got fo' him!
(Papa Shango holds up the piece of jewelry he was waving the skull over. Its nothing more than a cheap gold-colored money clip in the shape of a dollar sign hanging on a fake gold chain.)
*BU*: (incredilous) That's it? That piece of garbage is going to keep away Maelstrom?
*LAVUE*: What? Piece o' garbage? What you sayin'....
*PAPA SHANGO*: (shouting) You insult my work?! I call upon the wrath of my ancestors! Oba-Gee! Oba-Jah!
*BU*: (Worried) What's he doing?
*LAVUE*: Oh man! You pissed him off! (turning to Papa Shango) Wait! Wait! Wait, now, Shango! This young man don't mean t' insult you! He simply don't understand! Lemme show him how it works.
(Papa Shango nods and hands the money-clip-on-a-chain to LaVue.)
*LAVUE*: Now look here! Ya see, Shango knows some stuff about Maelstroms! And one o' da things he knows is dat Maelstroms usually fear gold!
*BU*: But... I wear a gold championship belt all the time, and he's always bothered me.
*LAVUE*: Well... uh... I DID say usually! Sometimes you've gotta TEACH 'EM t' be afraid o' gold! And t' do dat, Shango done dipped dis charm, here, in a bucket o' salamander tears.
*BU*: Really? Is that why it smells so wierd?
*LAVUE*: Oh, of course! Salamander tears makes a Maelstrom go crazy. They can't handle it.
*BU*: (wincing at the smell) I can see why.
*LAVUE*: Dat's right! If you think its bad, imagine what a Maelstrom thinks.
*BU*: Maelstrom stinks pretty bad, too, though! I mean, I think he bathes in fish guts!
*LAVUE*: Right! And what do salamanders eat? Why, baby fish, of course!
(Billy thinks for a second.)
*BU*: OOOOH! I see! Now this makes sense! So where does all the magic come in?
*LAVUE*: Well, Papa Shango does his spell t' make sure dat yo' medallion never loses its power! See, not only will dis make da Maelstrom afraid, but now it'll suck its power away from it and make him weak. Den you Maelstrom will be at your mercy!
*BU*: (excited) PERFECT! Thank you very much, guys! This'll be worth every penny, I'm sure.
*LAVUE*: You bet it will! Now you run along! Papa Shango has t' get some rest after makin' dat medallion fo' ya. It took a lot out o' him.
*BU*: I understand. See ya later guys!
(Billy runs out the door with his "medallion" in hand.)
*LAVUE*: Hey, Shango! What DID you dip that medallion into that made it smell so bad?
*PAPA SHANGO*: Do ya really wanna know? HORSE URINE!
(LaVue starts laughing hysterically.)
*LAVUE*: Are you crazy, mon ami?! Why did you do that?!
*PAPA SHANGO* (also laughing) For kicks! But hey, he bought it, didn't he?
*LAVUE*: (trying to stop laughing) Dat... Dat he did, my friend! Dat he did!
*PAPA SHANGO*: (laughing as he gets the playing cards out of their hiding place) What a rube!
(The scene cuts from inside the store to the outside. Billy Ubermark runs out the door of the shack. When he gets down the steps, he looks around for his taxi, but sees nothing but tire tracks. A look of horror sweeps over Billy's face.)
*BU*: MY TAXI! IT'S GONE! That bastard! If his mother DOES get her transplant, she ain't getting an autograph from me, now! (Billy sighs, heavily) 500 miles from home! Well... looks like I'm thumbing it.
(Billy sticks out his thumb and starts trying to hitch a ride as he walks down the road, even though no cars are coming. The scene then fades to black.)
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Aug 8, 2005 18:21:17 GMT -5
*Back at the EWT and in the ring Curly is anxious to get his match underway, he has the mike*
Curly: C'mon, c'mon . . . hey i'm ready Sting . . lets see what you got . . you going to come as classic or crow sting either way its going to be a hellac . .
*Circus music hits as Dink and Doink the Clown head to the ring and*
Curly: Whoa . . . hold up . . . i'm about to have a serious technical match up here . the Stinger is due any second . . come and entertain the crowd later . . like when they've gone home . . .
*Dink has made it in to the ring, he swipes the mike off of Curly*
Dink: Heehee . . I am your opponent . . . didn't you look at the board . . .welcome to the funhouse . . heehee .. I'm gon . .
*Curly has snapped and kicked Dink in the gut, the bell rings and we are under way!*
Curly wastes no time and bodyslams Dink three times in succession. Doink tries to interfere but is blocked by Mr. Big. Curly spits on Dink and then hoists him up onto the turnbuckle and . . .CURLY CREAMER!!
1,2,3
Lillian: Your winner Curly Long!
*the crowd boos as Doink carries Dink to the back. Curly is visibly very angry and orders Mr. Big to take him backstage, he hurls abuse at the fans as he goes . . . the fans chant VLB straight back at him!*
(cut to commercial)
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Post by garyhartsgoatee on Aug 8, 2005 18:42:40 GMT -5
*the Balance of Power are backstage watching the Curly match*
Pza: Ya see guys, thats what i'm talking about... they give one of the most dangerous men in the EWT Dink the f***ing clown... sad...
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Post by garyhartsgoatee on Aug 8, 2005 18:57:06 GMT -5
*5 Minutes Alone by Pantera hits as The Balance of Power enters the ring. When all 5 members are in the ring Naked Mideon runs through the audience and into the ring. Pza holds his hand out to stop him and Mideon stops...Pza has a microphone*
Pza: Mideon... Mideon... Mideon. What has ahppened to you? you are a joke. Remember when you were given storylines and feuds? Now what has become of you? You are an act... No better than the loser Curly here beat down earlier... But i'm going to give you an opportunity to turn your ass around and leave this ring... leave this promotion... show the world how talented you are... and not get your ass handed to you by a duel champion...
Mideon: Look here Pza... I'm done listening to..........
*The Balance of Power jump Mideon with Destroyer hitting him first with a german suplex, Epidemik pulling out a cheese grater and raking it across his forehead, and curly dropping elbows on him*
Pza: YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO ME MIDEON! BUT NO! YOU WON'T LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW! LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES MIDEON!
*Pza picks uyp Mideon's lifeless body and puts him in the crucifix... BAM!!! SmarkDriver on Mideon... BOP leaves the ring and the referee reluctantly rings the bell. Pza rolls Mideon over and pins him... 1...2...3...*
Announcer: Winnerof the.....
*Epidemik hits the announcer in the head with a chair and grabs the mic*
Epidemik: WIMMER OF THE MATCH... AND STILL GENE RAYBURN MEMORIAL CHAMPION... THE HARDEST WORKING MAN IN THE EWT... PZA!!!
*BOP celebrates in the ring as the crowd boos and showers them in garbage*
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Post by girlnextdoor on Aug 8, 2005 22:00:06 GMT -5
You see this ladies? This belt hanging over my mantle piece? It's the Girl Next Door Championship. A belt I have earned in the EWT by defeating the best, mommytaker. Sure, she just laid down without a fight. But, that's because she knew...deep down inside, she knew I could not be beat.
And this Sunday ladies, in the Queen's Court Rumble, each one of you have an opportunity to become the Number 1 Contender to my championship. And then, somewhere down the line, I will return to the ring, defend my championship, and beat you 1-2-3. I don't care if it's that redneck Woman, Stacy Beibler, oceanic, or Diva Dorf. Because, you ladies mean NOTHING to me.
For, you see...I am the future of this business. Not you. I have the gold. Not you. And I have the power. Not you.
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Post by whoopdeedoo on Aug 8, 2005 22:34:39 GMT -5
[Terry Taylor strolls down to the ring, accompanied by the inevitable "ROOSTER" chants. He stands in the ring expecting to see his opponent coming down to the ramp, but suddenly WDD appears on the TitanTron on a hospital bed with his head heavily bandaged]
WDD: Well, I guess you're wondering why I am here and you are there Terry. Well, I'll let you know. That insect, Theo Rumm and his quote "Insurance Policy" unquote beat me so severely that I had to go to the hospital, but do not fret Roos-I mean Terry. I've spoken to Toomi, and a match will go on as planned. It will be you vs. a hand picked friend of mine.
Suddenly, a large muscular man forces his way through the crowd and slides into the ring. Terry turns to face him and steps back.
WDD: Meet Andy, my new guardian.
Andy grabs Terry (bell rings) and punches him several times, then kicks him in the stomach, Terry doubles over, and Andy grabs him and gives him a massive powerbomb. Then he grabs Terry, holds him up as if he were going to use a powerbomb, but instead falls back with all his force and crushes Terry's face into the mat. Andy pins Terry
1
2
3. The ref calls for the bell and Andy exits the ring, Terry gets up shortly after, his face very bloody.
WDD: I hope you were watching that Theo, because that's what's going to happen to you at the next PPV. You are going to lie there, broken and bloody, and I will stand victorious. Oh and by the way Andy, good job.
[TitanTron clicks silent]
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