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Post by Brandon Walsh is Insane. on Jul 25, 2009 2:41:04 GMT -5
Low self esteem girls are the easiest to get out with you though.... But who wants to? The hottest women on the planet usually have low self esteem. If that is what it takes to get your confidence up, then do it. You can't just go out and get a 10 in looks and personality on the first try if you have low confidence/low self esteem, you know. Gotta build up to that.
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Post by mrwednesdaynight on Jul 25, 2009 2:44:03 GMT -5
In what section of the Walmart is this confidence you speak of. Building confidence and self esteem isn't as simple as some of you make it sound, particular when nothing has ever gone your way. And I mean ever.
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Post by Alexander The So-so on Jul 25, 2009 2:55:17 GMT -5
First off, it's important to clarify that it's good that you try to be decent to women. That being said, though, let's look at it this way: the stereotypical "nice guy" approach usually entails doing whatever she asks you to do, being loyal to a fault, behaving in a way that entirely suits her tastes, and putting her problems before yours. In return, you hope you get a regular source of nookie. What's the difference between this, and her just owning a well-trained Labrador Retriever who will overlook all her flaws and do whatever she says, as long as he gets his regular dog food and games of fetch? Douchebags aren't successful because they're mean, objectifying, and uncaring. They'e successful because they establish that they are independent human beings with minds of their own. If you want to be successful, be a balance between the two. Listen to what she says and ask her opinions about things, but if she says something that offends you or that you disagree with, say so. Voice yourself, call for compromises if you disagree with her on plans or activities, and stick by your guns. Here's a couple of rules based on observation: 1. Never, ever change yourself for the purpose of getting together with someone. If you emerge a different person at the END of the relationship, fine. Relationships can change you, after all. But at the beginning, you are who you are, and if being with her entails disruptive changes in your activities or ways of thinking, or entails you having to make sacrifices that she herself does not proportionately also have to make, it's not worth it. It's all about establishing yourself, again, as a sentient human being with an independent mind that deserves to be respected. 2. Compromise, compromise, compromise. Just as you don't be a boorish jerk who demands everything go your way, don't let her bend you to her every will. BALANCE. 3. Remember: you can get sex somewhere else. Do you have an Internet connection? Is there a store in your area that sells Playboys and Penthouses? Do you have a box of Kleenex handy? And do you have a good imagination? Because that's all the ingredients you need to get by physically when the real thing isn't immediately available. It's therefore the reason why you should never be afraid of putting an end to a relationship where the only thing you get out of it is sex. Sex is important, of course, but it should never be a carrot on a stick. If you let it become one, and subsequently let yourself be manipulated by it, you've lost. Really, one of the best things you can do is NOT set out with the express purpose of picking up chicks. I've had way more success getting women's attention at times precisely when getting women's attention was hardly on my mind. I was my own natural self, because I wasn't covering up my flaws or concerning myself with what people thought of me, and that ended up working great, because my independent self was right out there in plain site, and it was clear that I wasn't going to suppress it. Of course, I'm logically cynical about dating and relationships, so most of the time I came off like I was cool and uninterested precisely because I really WAS uninterested. But that's another story.
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Professor Chaos
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Bringer of Destruction and Maker of Doom
Posts: 16,332
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Post by Professor Chaos on Jul 25, 2009 3:10:07 GMT -5
I was a pussy in high school and never got laid or had a girlfriend. In college I turned into a dick and always got laid (more chicks in that 4 year span than I'll probably ever have in my life). After college I settled down the career path and became a nice guy again. That's gotten me a good job and good money, but chicks aren't interested anymore. I've outgrown being an immature dickhead so just like screw it now if I never get laid again then whatever.
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"Magic" Mark Hurr
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Here, have some chili dogs
Not related to Phantasmo
Posts: 15,746
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Post by "Magic" Mark Hurr on Jul 25, 2009 4:33:36 GMT -5
First off, it's important to clarify that it's good that you try to be decent to women. That being said, though, let's look at it this way: the stereotypical "nice guy" approach usually entails doing whatever she asks you to do, being loyal to a fault, behaving in a way that entirely suits her tastes, and putting her problems before yours. In return, you hope you get a regular source of nookie. What's the difference between this, and her just owning a well-trained Labrador Retriever who will overlook all her flaws and do whatever she says, as long as he gets his regular dog food and games of fetch? Douchebags aren't successful because they're mean, objectifying, and uncaring. They'e successful because they establish that they are independent human beings with minds of their own. If you want to be successful, be a balance between the two. Listen to what she says and ask her opinions about things, but if she says something that offends you or that you disagree with, say so. Voice yourself, call for compromises if you disagree with her on plans or activities, and stick by your guns. Here's a couple of rules based on observation: 1. Never, ever change yourself for the purpose of getting together with someone. If you emerge a different person at the END of the relationship, fine. Relationships can change you, after all. But at the beginning, you are who you are, and if being with her entails disruptive changes in your activities or ways of thinking, or entails you having to make sacrifices that she herself does not proportionately also have to make, it's not worth it. It's all about establishing yourself, again, as a sentient human being with an independent mind that deserves to be respected. 2. Compromise, compromise, compromise. Just as you don't be a boorish jerk who demands everything go your way, don't let her bend you to her every will. BALANCE. 3. Remember: you can get sex somewhere else. Do you have an Internet connection? Is there a store in your area that sells Playboys and Penthouses? Do you have a box of Kleenex handy? And do you have a good imagination? Because that's all the ingredients you need to get by physically when the real thing isn't immediately available. It's therefore the reason why you should never be afraid of putting an end to a relationship where the only thing you get out of it is sex. Sex is important, of course, but it should never be a carrot on a stick. If you let it become one, and subsequently let yourself be manipulated by it, you've lost. Really, one of the best things you can do is NOT set out with the express purpose of picking up chicks. I've had way more success getting women's attention at times precisely when getting women's attention was hardly on my mind. I was my own natural self, because I wasn't covering up my flaws or concerning myself with what people thought of me, and that ended up working great, because my independent self was right out there in plain site, and it was clear that I wasn't going to suppress it. Of course, I'm logically cynical about dating and relationships, so most of the time I came off like I was cool and uninterested precisely because I really WAS uninterested. But that's another story. looks like one of my post. I agree with what you're saying It all boils down to most chicks are conditioned to think nice guys are weak or not man enough for them even though they have no idea what a man is. To them it's always what they think what a man should be, but if you let them tell it, it's as contradictory and unrealistic as it can be. They don't really learn balance until it's too late. I'm too tired to really go into this at 5:30 in the morning so i'll let you guys drop science on this one.
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Johnny Danger (Godz)
Wade Wilson
loves him some cavity searches
Lord Xeen's going to kill you.
Posts: 27,736
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Post by Johnny Danger (Godz) on Jul 25, 2009 4:35:25 GMT -5
In what section of the Walmart is this confidence you speak of. Building confidence and self esteem isn't as simple as some of you make it sound, particular when nothing has ever gone your way. And I mean ever. And as long as thats the way you think, it likely never will. I've been there.
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Titus Sinclair
Trap-Jaw
Right after I finish these here beers
Posts: 325
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Post by Titus Sinclair on Jul 25, 2009 5:14:49 GMT -5
dude shave your head into a mohawk, put some x's on your hand and a real woman not into tolls and douche bags will be all over you
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Post by James McCloud IS John Godot on Jul 25, 2009 5:18:34 GMT -5
In general, nice guys and self-pitying pussies who convince themselves never making a move is what will grab a woman's attention are not the same thing. A lot of times, the latter think they're the former, but they're not.
If you just want to f*** and you hide it while other douches don't and get laid, you're not a nice guy you're just a pitiable cowardly liar.
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Tigerlily
Team Rocket
In a beaker?
Posts: 849
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Post by Tigerlily on Jul 25, 2009 5:21:54 GMT -5
I like 'the nice guy', as long as he isn't afraid to defend me once in a while.
I honestly do not see the appeal in a 'bad boy'. What a waste of space.
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Post by Metalheadbanger Man on Jul 25, 2009 5:31:20 GMT -5
Someone told me that you're horrible to girls, they become attracted to you. So I started going around lamping women in the face, and I'm still getting nowhere.
Note: I have never punched a woman. Even though Jericho did it and women dig him still. Just sayin'.
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Post by lemonyellowson on Jul 25, 2009 5:36:03 GMT -5
ha, this is the funniest thread i've read on here for a long long time.... good stuff. and sometimes girls do like the nice guy.... its just they are usually rough as f***
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Klutch
Unicron
Not so good at that whole noticing thing.
Posts: 3,115
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Post by Klutch on Jul 25, 2009 7:01:24 GMT -5
Why do I always hear "Ohhh you are so cute and sweet and sensitive" instead of "lets go back to my place and _______." I remember when I had to do an exercise in an acting class of mine where people had to go around the room and "type" you. My "type" was pretty much "guy who is best friends the lead girl, said lead girl is in love with the jock, but realizes at the end of the film she really loves him...you know, Ducky from Pretty in Pink." Why do I have to be Jon Cryer? Why can't be, I don't know, Charlie Sheen? It takes time man, and once you do find someone then all those same girls that "just wanted to be friends" will be knocking your door down. Trust me. It gets even worse once you get engaged. Trust me.
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hassanchop
Grimlock
Who are you to doubt Belldandy?
Posts: 14,787
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Post by hassanchop on Jul 25, 2009 7:21:29 GMT -5
For anyone so upset that being "The Nice Guy" isn't getting you anywhere, maybe you should follow a different example... Sure don't be a nice guy, be a guy who has bad drug and drinking problems, no shows an event that's the way to go! But in all seriousness, I don't think that is the problem, I believe women have different tastes, so it depends on them who they will go with. You can still be nice even if you do have a personality or unique trait, because being nice is the first step. Just don't be rude or selfish.
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Bo Rida
Fry's dog Seymour
Pulled one over on everyone. Got away with it, this time.
Posts: 23,531
Member is Online
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Post by Bo Rida on Jul 25, 2009 7:23:00 GMT -5
Women don't appreciate pandering sycophants.
Anyway they do like nice guys, just confident ones who aren't afraid to show their personality and state their opinions.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2009 7:52:47 GMT -5
In my experience, the nice guy role is all about patience. You'll get your oppurtunity, you've just to be ready to leap at it. No one falls head over heels for the nice guy. The nice guy grows on you over time. (like a cyst)
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Post by Avalanche Alvarez on Jul 25, 2009 7:58:19 GMT -5
Why do I always hear "Ohhh you are so cute and sweet and sensitive" instead of "lets go back to my place and _______." I remember when I had to do an exercise in an acting class of mine where people had to go around the room and "type" you. My "type" was pretty much "guy who is best friends the lead girl, said lead girl is in love with the jock, but realizes at the end of the film she really loves him...you know, Ducky from Pretty in Pink." Why do I have to be Jon Cryer? Why can't be, I don't know, Charlie Sheen? Because a large contingent of women like to be crapped on. *They believe that the crapper is not as bad as everybody is making him out to be *They stand by their decision and bullheadedly won't walk away from the crapper, despite the shoddy treatment *They think they can change him *They turn to the good guy for a shoulder to cry on, not wanting to start something up with the good guy because the good guy is TOO good for them. (Self esteem issues) I have done extensive research in this field as I was "the good guy" and watched a number of women flock to "the crapper". And in the original filming of "Pretty in Pink", Ducky DOES get Molly Ringwald but they changed the ending because of audience testing. Screw Andrew McCarthy and the studio. The Duckman should've gotten Molly. Now he's got Charlie Sheen. Geez.
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Post by Red 'n' Black Reggie on Jul 25, 2009 8:49:34 GMT -5
i reckon it's not that assholes get all the girls, it's that getting all the girls turns you into an asshole. not in every case, but achieving success in any way can go to people's heads, whther that's a good job, getting laid alot, being rich, whatever. if your entire life you;ve been goodlooking enough (or just done and said the right things) that women are easy access for you, then you're likely to get pretty cocky about it.
but meh, i dunno. sometimes nice people get alot of action, sometimes wankers die as virgins. there's enough people out there that everyone'll have a shag in the end.
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The OP
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
changed his name
Posts: 15,785
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Post by The OP on Jul 25, 2009 9:12:18 GMT -5
In most cases the nice guy isn't the nice guy, he's just like the guy who does get the girls except for without the security and confidence.
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Post by taylorandborland on Jul 25, 2009 9:33:27 GMT -5
In general, nice guys and self-pitying pussies who convince themselves never making a move is what will grab a woman's attention are not the same thing. A lot of times, the latter think they're the former, but they're not.
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Jay Peas 42
El Dandy
Totally flips out ALL the time.
Is looking forward to a Nation of Domination Kwannza Special.
Posts: 8,329
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Post by Jay Peas 42 on Jul 25, 2009 10:05:28 GMT -5
Rule #2 Don't hate the player, hate the game. The answer, like it is for so many other things, is Evolution. Women like jerks because for 99% of human history, the only two things that men did that mattered were 1. Hunting and 2. Warfare. Now, what are the traits that make for a great hunter/warrior? If you said Tactical Mindset, aggression, territoriality, you would be right. The women who chose those men as their mates ended up having more surviving children, who also shared their preferences. The women who didn't, ended up, well, not passing their genes to the next generation. Due to this experiance, women have highly developed instincts for mate selection. Now, there is hope here, like I said, you descended from warrior stock, you have the inborn potential, the aresti, if you will, to cultivate manliness, or virtue, if you will. You can train your self to be a better selection as a mate. You didn't know how to read, or use the toliet at one point, right?
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