Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 20:22:13 GMT -5
Post by Grendel on Nov 7, 2006 20:22:13 GMT -5
(John cena is about to go rescue Maria before Umaga can even touch her, but somebody grabs his arm from behind before he can get to the stage) Big Dick Johnson: Hey, John. Um, you paid me 50 bucks for one of my "shows"? Cena: Huh?! Big Dick: That's right. "You" paid me. 50 bucks. (Pulls out money.) Armando Estrada gave it to me, on your behalf. Now you have to come with me to my locker room...." Cena: No Way! I ain't goin' nowhere! (Big Dick pulls out a gun) Big Dick Johnson: "You" paid me. Now you have to watch my show! These are odds you're not going to overcome, John. Cena: Nooooo! (Big Dick forces John cena into back. Ron Simmons appears) Ron Simmons:............................................................................................DAMN! Meanwhile in the locker room.... Hacksaw: Who at my nutter butters!!!! Jeff Hardy: I did I smoked this funny looking cigarette and it got me really hungry. I'll pack you back later. Hacksaw:*breaks glass bottle holding it by the neck* YOU'LL PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD! *Rest of faces in a circle around them and break out chanting* FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT Meanwhile in heel's dressing room.... Edge: I baked chocolate chip cookies who wants some. Random heel: Go check in with the faces maybe they want some cookies. Edge shows up at the face locker room door dressed like Chris Kattan in Corky Romano. "You guys want some cookies?"
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 20:25:10 GMT -5
Post by shemmy86 on Nov 7, 2006 20:25:10 GMT -5
Edge shows up at the face locker room door dressed like Chris Kattan in Corky Romano. "You guys want some cookies?" The King is backstage getting a soda and sees Edge in the girlscout uniform and chases after Edge with Benny Hill chase music blaring in the background.
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 20:42:09 GMT -5
Post by Will Has 'Til Five, Ref on Nov 7, 2006 20:42:09 GMT -5
Would you guys have preferred it if Maria sold the move by having blood pouring from her eye sockets and ears? Not Maria, but damn, someone should've sold it like that already. I would've preferred that instead of Cena helping her, Maria gets brought out on a stretcher to an ambulance, and Ariel could hide in the back dressed as a Gothic nurse, ready to "help" Maria Ariel as a Gothic nurse, how did you know my dream? Get out of my head! Hey, it could mean ratings.
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 20:45:30 GMT -5
Post by Grendel on Nov 7, 2006 20:45:30 GMT -5
Edge shows up at the face locker room door dressed like Chris Kattan in Corky Romano. "You guys want some cookies?" The King is backstage getting a soda and sees Edge in the girlscout uniform and chases after Edge with Benny Hill chase music blaring in the background. They go running past Ron Simmons ... Ron Simmons: "Damn!" Then they go running past Vince MacMahon, and he joins the chase doing the MacMahon Swagger.
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 20:51:27 GMT -5
Post by shemmy86 on Nov 7, 2006 20:51:27 GMT -5
They go running past Ron Simmons ... Ron Simmons: "Damn!" Then they go running past Vince MacMahon, and he joins the chase doing the MacMahon Swagger. Viscera sees girlscout Edge run by and says,"I gonna get me some of that ass!". Viscera joins in the chase. Meanwhile in the face's locker room Jeff Hardy is on the floor with a crazed Hacksaw standing over him. Hacksaw: Jeff ain't pretty no more!
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 21:16:38 GMT -5
Post by amsiraK on Nov 7, 2006 21:16:38 GMT -5
I so want to see this. LOL!
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 21:18:54 GMT -5
Post by Spankymac is sick of the swiss on Nov 7, 2006 21:18:54 GMT -5
They go running past Ron Simmons ... Ron Simmons: "Damn!" Then they go running past Vince MacMahon, and he joins the chase doing the MacMahon Swagger. Viscera sees girlscout Edge run by and says,"I gonna get me some of that ass!". Viscera joins in the chase. Meanwhile in the face's locker room Jeff Hardy is on the floor with a crazed Hacksaw standing over him. Hacksaw: Jeff ain't pretty no more, TOUGH GUY!!!! Fixed.
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 21:24:25 GMT -5
Post by shemmy86 on Nov 7, 2006 21:24:25 GMT -5
Lawler, Mr. McMahon, and Vicera corner Edge and as a last result Edge rips off the costume and starwangs them. The resulting incident is known as the great vomit fest of 2006 causing a great mess that takes years to clean up and decades to get rid of the smell.
Meanwhile in the faces' lockerroom.....
Jeff Hardy levels Hacksaw with a cinderblock and massive brawl breaks out with a West Side Story theme wher they sing and dance while fighting.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 21:31:55 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2006 21:31:55 GMT -5
I actually found it funny that Umaga beating up Maria came 3rd on his 'Weird things happening' list
(1) Cena losing last night -- Oh god the humanity (2) Eric Bischoff in charge -- Oh god the humanity (3)....Oh and I'll complain about Maria geting beat up by a 300lb + Samoan. but dammit it won't stop me telling jokes during my promo
And also how it seemed to be
Samoan Backdrop to a woman = fine Head Smash = fine Thumb to the throat = OH BY GOD YOU WILL NOT!
Note the 2nd half of that rant wasn't directed at Cena.....Mind you the 1st half was more at the writers really, not like Cena had much say probably
But anyway, it's another one of my pet peeves when a face comes in for the save during a beatdown.......after it's been going on for ages anyway
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Deleted
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 21:35:18 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2006 21:35:18 GMT -5
Lawler, Mr. McMahon, and Vicera corner Edge and as a last result Edge rips off the costume and starwangs them. The resulting incident is known as the great vomit fest of 2006 causing a great mess that takes years to clean up and decades to get rid of the smell. Meanwhile in the faces' lockerroom..... Jeff Hardy levels Hacksaw with a cinderblock and massive brawl breaks out with a West Side Story theme wher they sing and dance while fighting. Suddenly, Batista comes out in a frilly skirt and starts singing. Batista: I want to be on the big, A-Show! Come be more famous on the A-Show! Carlito: GTFO go back to the B-Show! Go be an ass on the B-Show! (matt Hardy Comes out) Matt: I too want to be on the A-Show. Be a success on the A-Show! Jeff: Let him come with us to the A-Show! So hardy Boyz can be on the A-Show! (Edge runs in, naked, having torn off his outfit) Edge: No he's not aloud on the A-Show! We'd have rivalry on the A-Show! Everyone in face locker room: Get the hell out of the A-Show! Only Big Dick can be naked on the A-Show! (Scene shifts to Edge being kicked out of face locker room, landing on his rear end) Edge(quietly):.........But my place is on the A-Show......... Ron Simmons: DAMN!
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 21:37:27 GMT -5
Post by Spankymac is sick of the swiss on Nov 7, 2006 21:37:27 GMT -5
This thread is second only to "Patti Mayonaisse is a Lesbian" in my heart.
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Deleted
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 21:43:37 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2006 21:43:37 GMT -5
This thread is second only to "Patti Mayonaisse is a Lesbian" in my heart. Why? becuase of......? Lawler, Mr. McMahon, and Vicera corner Edge and as a last result Edge rips off the costume and starwangs them. The resulting incident is known as the great vomit fest of 2006 causing a great mess that takes years to clean up and decades to get rid of the smell. Meanwhile in the faces' lockerroom..... Jeff Hardy levels Hacksaw with a cinderblock and massive brawl breaks out with a West Side Story theme wher they sing and dance while fighting. Suddenly, Batista comes out in a frilly skirt and starts singing. Batista: I want to be on the big, A-Show! Come be more famous on the A-Show! Carlito: GTFO go back to the B-Show! Go be an ass on the B-Show! (matt Hardy Comes out) Matt: I too want to be on the A-Show. Be a success on the A-Show! Jeff: Let him come with us to the A-Show! So hardy Boyz can be on the A-Show! (Edge runs in, naked, having torn off his outfit) Edge: No he's not aloud on the A-Show! We'd have rivalry on the A-Show! Everyone in face locker room: Get the hell out of the A-Show! Only Big Dick can be naked on the A-Show! (Scene shifts to Edge being kicked out of face locker room, landing on his rear end) Edge(quietly):.........But my place is on the A-Show......... Ron Simmons: DAMN!
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 21:57:39 GMT -5
Post by G✇JI☈A on Nov 7, 2006 21:57:39 GMT -5
cena: alright, if no ones doing it, i'll have to do it. *sigh* *cena goes to entranceway* cena: hurry up and put the damn cd in! *work experience kid fumbles with cd* cena: here i'll do it! *puts in a cd that plays Sunshine, Lollipop; and then after finding the correct CD (they don't label them) goes to the ring, several hours later* Fixed BTW: This thread is killing me. Some of the funniest shit I have read here.
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 22:07:17 GMT -5
Post by shemmy86 on Nov 7, 2006 22:07:17 GMT -5
Meanwhile in the heel lockerroom......
*An arts and crafts contest in progress*
Murdoch: I made some deer jerky if anyone is interested. Where did Edge go and who took my girlscout uniform?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 22:16:23 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2006 22:16:23 GMT -5
Meanwhile in the heel lockerroom...... *An arts and crafts contest in progress* Murdoch: I made some deer jerky if anyone is interested. Where did Edge go and who took my girlscout uniform? All the heels(looking at Trevor Murdoch): YOUR Uniform? That was mine! (All heels begin to look around at one another) Shelton: Um, that's just Momma Benjamin's dress! Johnny Nitro: Mine is one of the...Fetish dresses....I....er...have Melina wear...yeah, let's go with that... Spirit Squad: Ours are our....surrogate cheerleader...uniforms.... Charlie Haas:Mine is Jackie's halloween costume....(quietly)...way to lie! Lance Cade: I wear mine strictly as a comfort thing.... (All the heels stare at Lance and step away from him in unison. Edge walks in, naked, having torn of his outfit earlier.) Edge: Hey guys! What'd I miss?
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 22:22:15 GMT -5
Post by shemmy86 on Nov 7, 2006 22:22:15 GMT -5
Meanwhile in the heel lockerroom...... *An arts and crafts contest in progress* Murdoch: I made some deer jerky if anyone is interested. Where did Edge go and who took my girlscout uniform? All the heels(looking at Trevor Murdoch): YOUR Uniform? That was mine! (All heels begin to look around at one another) Shelton: Um, that's just Momma Benjamin's dress! Johnny Nitro: Mine is one of the...Fetish dresses....I....er...have Melina wear...yeah, let's go with that... Spirit Squad: Ours are our....surrogate cheerleader...uniforms.... Charlie Haas:Mine is Jackie's halloween costume....(quietly)...way to lie! Lance Cade: I wear mine strictly as a comfort thing.... (All the heels stare at Lance and step away from him in unison. Edge walks in, naked, having torn of his outfit earlier.) Edge: Hey guys! What'd I miss? Everyone in heel lockerroom stares at naked Edge. Edge: What, did someone say something? Were you guys saying something behind my back, no secrets. Come on lets fire up the karaoke machine. Rest of heel lockerroom: OKAY!!!! *Edge is first up and sings Sweet Caroline with strippers*
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 22:28:56 GMT -5
Post by Grendel on Nov 7, 2006 22:28:56 GMT -5
Meanwhile in the heel lockerroom...... *An arts and crafts contest in progress* Murdoch: I made some deer jerky if anyone is interested. Where did Edge go and who took my girlscout uniform? **Suddenly the door opens and K Fed walks in.** K Fed: "Hi guys. I'll be joining your side." Murdoch: "Who are you?" K Fed: "I'm K Fed." Murdoch: "Like I said, who are you?" K Fed: "K Fed, you know the rapper." Murdoch: "You mean Cena?" K Fed: "Nah dawg, I'm K Fed. My CD dropped last week." **Murdoch sits there with a confused look on his face.** k Fed: "I'm friends with Melina and Nitro." **Murdoch still has a confused look on his face.** **K Fed sighs.** K Fed: "I married Britney Spears." ** A look of recognition dawns on Murdoch's face** Murdoch: "Oh, you're the reason that she no longer makes albums." **The locker room door is opened and K Fed gets thrown out the door into the adjoining wall. As he sits there dazed, up walks Matt Hardy.** Matt Hardy: "Too bad about you and Britney." ** K Fed looks up at him with a confused look on his face.** Matt Hardy: "Yeah, I told him that Britney and I were an item, so by this time tomorrow she should be stepping out with Edge. Tough break pal." **A tear starts to roll down his face as Matt turns to walk away. He turns back for a moment ** Matt Hardy: "Don't be sad, I hear there's someone behind that door over there who wants to see you. Cheer up little trooper!" **K Fed heads over to the door where Matt has pointed. He opens it and walks into the darkness** K Fed: "Hello? Anyone in there?" **From out of the darkness we hear a voice, and we know it is the Iron Sheik.** Iron Sheik: "Prepare to be humbled ..." **Shreiks of terror are heard as the door slams shut behind him. Once again Ron Simmons enters our view and walks past the door.** Ron Simmons: "Damn!"
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 22:34:40 GMT -5
Post by shemmy86 on Nov 7, 2006 22:34:40 GMT -5
**Suddenly the door opens and K Fed walks in.** K Fed: "Hi guys. I'll be joining your side." Murdoch: "Who are you?" K Fed: "I'm K Fed." Murdoch: "Like I said, who are you?" K Fed: "K Fed, you know the rapper." Murdoch: "You mean Cena?" K Fed: "Nah dawg, I'm K Fed. My CD dropped last week." **Murdoch sits there with a confused look on his face.** k Fed: "I'm friends with Melina and Nitro." **Murdoch still has a confused look on his face.** **K Fed sighs.** K Fed: "I married Britney Spears." ** A look of recognition dawns on Murdoch's face** Murdoch: "Oh, you're the reason that she no longer makes albums." **The locker room door is opened and K Fed gets thrown out the door into the adjoining wall. As he sits there dazed, up walks Matt Hardy.** Matt Hardy: "Too bad about you and Britney." ** K Fed looks up at him with a confused look on his face.** Matt Hardy: "Yeah, I told him that Britney and I were an item, so by this time tomorrow she should be stepping out with Edge. Tough break pal." **A tear starts to roll down his face as Matt turns to walk away. He turns back for a moment ** Matt Hardy: "Don't be sad, I hear there's someone behind that door over there who wants to see you. Cheer up little trooper!" **K Fed heads over to the door where Matt has pointed. He opens it and walks into the darkness** K Fed: "Hello? Anyone in there?" **From out of the darkness we hear a voice, and we know it is the Iron Sheik.** Iron Sheik: "Prepare to be humbled ..." **Shreiks of terror are heard as the door slams shut behind him. Once again Ron Simmons enters our view and walks past the door.** Ron Simmons: "Damn!" Iron shiek having successfully humbled another deserving victim walks into heel lockerroom and goes up to karaoke machine to sing Forever in Blue Jeans.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 22:35:44 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2006 22:35:44 GMT -5
All the heels(looking at Trevor Murdoch): YOUR Uniform? That was mine! (All heels begin to look around at one another) Shelton: Um, that's just Momma Benjamin's dress! Johnny Nitro: Mine is one of the...Fetish dresses....I....er...have Melina wear...yeah, let's go with that... Spirit Squad: Ours are our....surrogate cheerleader...uniforms.... Charlie Haas:Mine is Jackie's halloween costume....(quietly)...way to lie! Lance Cade: I wear mine strictly as a comfort thing.... (All the heels stare at Lance and step away from him in unison. Edge walks in, naked, having torn of his outfit earlier.) Edge: Hey guys! What'd I miss? Everyone in heel lockerroom stares at naked Edge. Edge: What, did someone say something? Were you guys saying something behind my back, no secrets. Come on lets fire up the karaoke machine. Rest of heel lockerroom: OKAY!!!! *Edge is first up and sings Sweet Caroline with strippers* Unfortunately, one of them happens to be none other than Big Dick Johnson. Earlier, he had forced John cena to let him dry hump him (look at earlier post for more information) whilst naked. Fresh from humbling Cena, he begins to dance along with the other strippers, but gets booed out, except by lance and trevor. They go up to defend him... Trevor: My name is Trevor Murdoch, and let me tell you about a movie I saw. Brokeback Mountain is about a pair of gay cowboys, and they have to endure a lot of prejudice. Lance: We came up here to defend Big Dick....where are you going with this? Trevor: Anyway, Brokeback Mountain is about a pair of gay cowboys, and they have to endure a lot of prejudice. They're naturally tough boys, and they love a scuffle, but they're gay. And it's not their fault they're gay! And it's not Lance's and me's fault that WE'RE gay, too! Lance: What the luv? Trevor: So, before you go boo any guy becuase of their personal preferences, let me ask you: what kinds of personal problems do YOU guys have? Shelton Benjamin: I'm an uncle Tom when nobody's lookin'! Snitsky: Things usually ARE my fault! And I actually hate feet...I just say I love them to get attention! Johnny Nitro: I whack off when Melina isn't looking! Spirit Squad: We're actually an underground group of Go-go dancers! Charlie Haas: Me and Jackie tape our sex! Viscera: I might be a love machine, but I can't seem to get aroused! Edge: I actually love being naked in public! Lita: And I actually am against prostitution! Trevor Murdoch: So, you see, lance and I have our problems, but so do you! Lance cade: You're gay man! Not me! Did you ever wonder why I just let you follow me around! Trevor(crying): Our love's still real to me DAMMIT! (Ron Simmons walks in): DAMN!
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Maria
Nov 7, 2006 22:41:23 GMT -5
Post by shemmy86 on Nov 7, 2006 22:41:23 GMT -5
Maria still in ring.......
Maria: Isn't anyone going to help me!
Cena *shouting from back*: I'll be down as soon as this guy finds my CD, they don't label the music which is quite silly.
Umaga: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGG SAMOA (which translates to, I'm sorry it has come to this but I am getting paid for this I hope you don't hold it against me)
Maria: I should have stayed in college.
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