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Post by Predator McBroski on Nov 11, 2010 22:43:05 GMT -5
Seven or so months ago, when I first joined, Many of my first posts were on the "Worst Raw Ever" Thread. There, me and RatedGDR created the Triple H unmasking and pedigree inter-thread meme, and I felt this thread needed rejuvenation. So here it goes, with a fresh start. If you didn't know already, you post (in continuity with the previous poster) a continuing horrible, hilarious Raw. So it is my honor to start this off.
On Raw, Randy Orton comes to deliver an (as always) bland, sleep-inducing promo, when all of a sudden, the lights dim. When the lights turn back on, standing in the ring is none other than...
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BigJerichool222
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
THE BIG DOG!
#NotInMySalad
Posts: 17,424
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Post by BigJerichool222 on Nov 11, 2010 22:55:58 GMT -5
RANDY ORTON!
It turns out that the lights were just falling asleep as well. All of a sudden, some familiar music plays...
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Nov 11, 2010 22:57:20 GMT -5
...That's right, THE NUTCRACKER SUITE starts playing! Out walks Vince Mc Mahon, and he's holding...
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Post by DSR on Nov 11, 2010 23:03:42 GMT -5
...That's right, THE NUTCRACKER SUITE starts playing! Out walks Vince Mc Mahon, and he's holding... ...a poster for the new movie THE MARINE 3, which will be released direct-to-laserdisc in 2 weeks. He then introduces the film's star...
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Post by Predator McBroski on Nov 11, 2010 23:04:30 GMT -5
PAUL BEARER!
Suddenly, Vince pulls his mask off to reveal..
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BigJerichool222
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
THE BIG DOG!
#NotInMySalad
Posts: 17,424
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Post by BigJerichool222 on Nov 11, 2010 23:04:59 GMT -5
The Iron Sheik.
Sheik proceeds to cut a nonsensical promo on everyone when the Raw GM interrupts...
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Burst
El Dandy
*inarticulate squawking*
Posts: 8,584
Member is Online
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Post by Burst on Nov 11, 2010 23:05:30 GMT -5
...BIG DICK JOHNSON! who walks to the ring in a comically oversized army uniform, accompanied by a hilariously out-of-shape Rikishi, Naked Mideon, and Big Daddy V, whose left suspender snaps at an inopportune moment, leading to...
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Post by DSR on Nov 11, 2010 23:07:25 GMT -5
...BIG DICK JOHNSON! who walks to the ring in a comically oversized army uniform, accompanied by a hilariously out-of-shape Rikishi, Naked Mideon, and Big Daddy V, whose left suspender snaps at an inopportune moment, leading to... ...a nip slip! The cameras zoom in on the horrified looks of children in attendance. Then for no reason, we go backstage, to...
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Burst
El Dandy
*inarticulate squawking*
Posts: 8,584
Member is Online
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Post by Burst on Nov 11, 2010 23:10:06 GMT -5
...Triple H's locker room, as he polishes his sledgehammer with a tattered Chris Jericho 8x10, before suddenly, reflected behind him in the mirror, he sees...
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Beartato
Hank Scorpio
Conspiracy Victim
Posts: 5,913
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Post by Beartato on Nov 11, 2010 23:10:09 GMT -5
John Cena trying on different socks
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Post by VengeanceGOD on Nov 11, 2010 23:12:58 GMT -5
John Cena OVERCOMES THE ODDS and chooses a pair of socks that match, but Triple H is the only one who can see him!
Well, and the announcers. And the crowd in attendance. In fact, the only one who couldn't see him was...
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Burst
El Dandy
*inarticulate squawking*
Posts: 8,584
Member is Online
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Post by Burst on Nov 11, 2010 23:16:55 GMT -5
....The Iron Shiek, but only because he's running screaming from Team Eye-Bleach, still in the ring and very poorly attempting the Too Cool dance, to Big Dick Johnson's porno music theme. Their dancing that would haunt the nightmares of the audience for decades to come is suddenly interrupted when...
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Post by DSR on Nov 11, 2010 23:38:11 GMT -5
....The Iron Shiek, but only because he's running screaming from Team Eye-Bleach, still in the ring and very poorly attempting the Too Cool dance, to Big Dick Johnson's porno music theme. Their dancing that would haunt the nightmares of the audience for decades to come is suddenly interrupted when... ...HBK returns! That's right, it's: Henry O. Godwinn Bull Buchanan Kizarny and they are here to say...
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2010 23:45:03 GMT -5
....The Iron Shiek, but only because he's running screaming from Team Eye-Bleach, still in the ring and very poorly attempting the Too Cool dance, to Big Dick Johnson's porno music theme. Their dancing that would haunt the nightmares of the audience for decades to come is suddenly interrupted when... ...HBK returns! That's right, it's: Henry O. Godwinn Bull Buchanan Kizarny and they are here to say... don't do drugs kids, unless you want to be like the creative team. Schiavone shows up out of nowhere and says "this is a shoot and....."
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Burst
El Dandy
*inarticulate squawking*
Posts: 8,584
Member is Online
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Post by Burst on Nov 11, 2010 23:47:46 GMT -5
..."I've got a ray gun." Indeed, Tony Schiavone is holding a genuine Martian ray gun right out of Mars Attacks!, and his jaw drops as Randy Orton poses on the turntable, releasing a flock of doves out of nowhere...
(turns out turntable is an unintentionally hilarious typo)
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Post by DSR on Nov 11, 2010 23:50:30 GMT -5
..."I've got a ray gun." Indeed, Tony Schiavone is holding a genuine Martian ray gun right out of Mars Attacks!, and his jaw drops as Randy Orton poses on the turntable, releasing a flock of doves out of nowhere... The doves attack Schiavone and take his ray gun! They're flying around shooting at the audience! Also, Randy Orton stops standing on the turntable, and begins scratching! Turns out he's an excellent DJ. We go backstage, where Josh Matthews is interviewing...
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2010 23:51:59 GMT -5
..."I've got a ray gun." Indeed, Tony Schiavone is holding a genuine Martian ray gun right out of Mars Attacks!, and his jaw drops as Randy Orton poses on the turntable, releasing a flock of doves out of nowhere... The doves attack Schiavone and take his ray gun! They're flying around shooting at the audience! Also, Randy Orton stops standing on the turntable, and begins scratching! Turns out he's an excellent DJ. We go backstage, where Josh Matthews is interviewing... the Undertaker, who is now working a gangsta rap gimmick and being referred to as.......
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Nov 11, 2010 23:55:14 GMT -5
The Undataka of course. The Taka begins to do a poor rap involving lyrics such as punk ass corpses, wiggity wiggity necrophilly, and straight up trippin on tombstones. This horrible rap causes even John Cena to shudder in horror as his brain melts inside his head.
The Undataka then challenges...
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percymania
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Percymania will live forever! Oh yeah!
Posts: 17,296
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Post by percymania on Nov 11, 2010 23:56:52 GMT -5
DJ RUNdertaker. He would like to introduce his first album, entitled...
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Post by DSR on Nov 11, 2010 23:57:16 GMT -5
The Undataka of course. The Taka begins to do a poor rap involving lyrics such as punk ass corpses, wiggity wiggity necrophilly, and straight up trippin on tombstones. This horrible rap causes even John Cena to shudder in horror as his brain melts inside his head. The Undataka then challenges... ...Big Daddy Cool to a pie eating contest. Diesel mocks Undataka, saying "Look at the adjective: eating!" Next thing you know, Razor Ramon shows up and...
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