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Post by DSR on Nov 30, 2010 15:59:42 GMT -5
NEXT WEEK's Raw opens with Percy Watson in the middle of the ring, ready to host his talk show. He announces that his first guest is... Ernest "The Cat" Miller, who comes out to the ring and busts some funky dance moves to a cheap, WWE produced James Brown style song. He then issues an open dance challenge to anyone in the back. Moments later the challenge is answered by........ ...DUSTIN DIAMOND! But the audience pelts "Screech" with garbage until he leaves, because nobody likes him. So Percy and Ernest get on the microphone, and say, in unison...
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Turd Ferguson
Hank Scorpio
John Cena: Colossal Douche
Posts: 7,402
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Post by Turd Ferguson on Nov 30, 2010 16:03:47 GMT -5
Ernest "The Cat" Miller, who comes out to the ring and busts some funky dance moves to a cheap, WWE produced James Brown style song. He then issues an open dance challenge to anyone in the back. Moments later the challenge is answered by........ ...DUSTIN DIAMOND! But the audience pelts "Screech" with garbage until he leaves, because nobody likes him. So Percy and Ernest get on the microphone, and say, in unison... "MAMAMAMAMAMAMA," which they repeat for 3 hours. The lights then go out, thankfully, for only 25 minutes, and when they come back on, Percy and Ernest are in their pajamas. Two beds are placed in the ring, laid out just like Bert and Ernie's room, and the two go to sleep. Only two hours into their sleep, loud music plays, signifying the entrance of...
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Post by DSR on Nov 30, 2010 16:07:28 GMT -5
...DUSTIN DIAMOND! But the audience pelts "Screech" with garbage until he leaves, because nobody likes him. So Percy and Ernest get on the microphone, and say, in unison... "MAMAMAMAMAMAMA," which they repeat for 3 hours. The lights then go out, thankfully, for only 25 minutes, and when they come back on, Percy and Ernest are in their pajamas. Two beds are placed in the ring, laid out just like Bert and Ernie's room, and the two go to sleep. Only two hours into their sleep, loud music plays, signifying the entrance of... ...the actual BERT AND ERNIE! They get microphones and accuse Percy and Ernest of gimmick infringement. There's a huge staredown, until Watson and Miller realize they're staring at puppets, and proceed to throw them to the ground and stomp on them for the next half hour. Their puppeteers are fairly weak guys, so they just stand there and watch in horror. Over at the commentary table, CM Punk remarks...
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Post by Wii M Punk on Nov 30, 2010 17:06:17 GMT -5
Over at the commentary table, CM Punk remarks... "Jeez. What's next? Jack Swagger powerbombing Big Bird through a table?" The camera then cuts to the back and shows Jack Swagger nailing his trademark gut wrench powerbomb on Big Bird through a table. "Oh for crying out loud!!" CM Punk grumbles as Michael Cole then says.........
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Nov 30, 2010 20:58:00 GMT -5
"VINTAGE Jack Swagger!"
Punk then yells at Michael Cole for calling out "Vintage" a lot when there isn't anything vintage at all!
Punk drags Michael Cole to some secluded room. Punk throws Cole in the room & locks the door.
Punk screams "You want to experience vintage?!? Well HERE YOU GO!"
Michael Cole awaits his worst nightmare as he experiences "vintage" in Mae Young in a bikini with a bottle of Spanish Fly with a "F**K Me!" look directly at Cole!
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Post by Fishbone is Marshall Law on Nov 30, 2010 21:14:25 GMT -5
"VINTAGE Jack Swagger!" Punk then yells at Michael Cole for calling out "Vintage" a lot when there isn't anything vintage at all! Punk drags Michael Cole to some secluded room. Punk throws Cole in the room & locks the door. Punk screams "You want to experience vintage?!? Well HERE YOU GO!" Michael Cole awaits his worst nightmare as he experiences "vintage" in Mae Young in a bikini with a bottle of Spanish Fly with a "F**K Me!" look directly at Cole! Before Mae Young can disrobe and begin coitus, the door burts open to reveal The Boogeyman! The Boogeyman is holding a camera and a boom mic in each hand simultaneously. It is a known fact that The Boogeyman is the leading provider of GILF porn in Southern California. Just before Micheal Cole can sign the release papers....
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Nov 30, 2010 21:19:22 GMT -5
Michael Cole yells "Vintage Boogeyman!"
CM Punk hears this & says "Oh that's so it!"
Punk barges in the room with The Baseball Furies from "The Warriors" & all of them are wielding baseball bats.
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Post by Fishbone is Marshall Law on Nov 30, 2010 21:22:32 GMT -5
Along comes Sting and Colin Mocherie from Who's Line is it anyway fame. They are armed with lead pipes. Sting blows into a giant conch shell and out comes the dark master Cthulu. Before the dark unholy master can unleash his wrath....
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Post by DSR on Nov 30, 2010 21:37:30 GMT -5
Along comes Sting and Colin Mocherie from Who's Line is it anyway fame. They are armed with lead pipes. Sting blows into a giant conch shell and out comes the dark master Cthulu. Before the dark unholy master can unleash his wrath.... ...he does the Macarena! And everyone joins in. Then he leaves, as everyone waves and says "Thanks, Cthulu!" We cut back to the ring, where Chris Masters is waiting for...
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Nov 30, 2010 21:41:17 GMT -5
his daily "Vitamin Supplies".
The delivery man arrived with a baseball cap reading "BALCO".
AS soon as Masters is about to pay the delivery man...
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Post by DSR on Nov 30, 2010 21:49:52 GMT -5
his daily "Vitamin Supplies". The delivery man arrived with a baseball cap reading "BALCO". AS soon as Masters is about to pay the delivery man... ...FALCO interrupts, with his hit "Rock Me, Amadeus." This infuriates Masters, who gets a microphone and yells...
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Nov 30, 2010 21:59:35 GMT -5
"Don't turn around, uh-oh Der Kommissar's in town, uh-oh You're in his eye And you'll know why The more you live The faster you will die
Alles klar, Herr Kommissar"
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Post by yapappi4life on Nov 30, 2010 22:03:17 GMT -5
Somewhere in the back, Cayden Croft is getting head from Chyna before ramming his PoonBuster directly right into her anus in full HD format so hard that the whole arena trembles with might. SHe then quivers with a huge orgasm as Croft plugs his new website...but not before plugging her vagina to give her simultaneously four orgasms. All we hear during that time is his balls slapping deep against her thunder thighs before he lets out a war cry and his eight-incher lets loose of its man-juice all over Chyna's face. Chyna-glazed over- then stares right into the camera and says "Hi Hunter! Hi Steph! Hi, boys! I'm back!"
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Nov 30, 2010 22:16:50 GMT -5
5 minutes later...RAW is canceled, TVs are destroyed, Cable & Satellite Companies go bankrupt.
TO this day what Chyna did is now known as "The Act That Dares Not Speak It's Name!"
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Post by yapappi4life on Nov 30, 2010 22:19:45 GMT -5
Meanwhile, Cayden Croft has now overtaken CM Punk as the Lothario of wrestling women. First, Gail Kim, Melina, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, Natalya and now Chyna. Next up: April Hunter, he thought.
CM Punk is now crying his heart out, watching the Hardlys babble incohrently on the Net.
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Nov 30, 2010 22:21:44 GMT -5
However, it turns out this was all a horrible nightmare by Trent Baretta. Having been scarred for life by these mental images, Trent declares that he is through with women forever and reveals his deepest darkest love...
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Post by yapappi4life on Nov 30, 2010 22:24:44 GMT -5
Except it wasn't a nightmare. It was pretending to be one because MEGA Vince Russo planned this out.
Croft's love gun now aims for April Hunter's Velvet Underground. but CM Punk swears that he can get through the Divas locker room faster. And absorb their powers too.
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Post by rogers67 on Dec 1, 2010 1:48:13 GMT -5
Except it wasn't a nightmare. It was pretending to be one because MEGA Vince Russo planned this out. Croft's love gun now aims for April Hunter's Velvet Underground. but CM Punk swears that he can get through the Divas locker room faster. And absorb their powers too. So Punk runs to the diva's locker room and is met by..
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Post by DSR on Dec 1, 2010 2:11:36 GMT -5
Except it wasn't a nightmare. It was pretending to be one because MEGA Vince Russo planned this out. Croft's love gun now aims for April Hunter's Velvet Underground. but CM Punk swears that he can get through the Divas locker room faster. And absorb their powers too. So Punk runs to the diva's locker room and is met by.. ...April Hunter, of course. She's not willing to be a pawn in Punk and Croft's sick game. She decides to turn the tables, wearing a strap-on, and threatening to bone the hell out of the two men. Punk runs for his life, and seeks help from the one, the only...
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Post by rogers67 on Dec 1, 2010 2:15:25 GMT -5
Kenta Kobashi! Who chops the hell out of Hunter for 2 hours. Then when he finally stops, he is met by...
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