|
Post by RI Richmark on Nov 10, 2010 8:21:36 GMT -5
Dusty Rhodes is trying to cheer up Goldust after Aksana dumped him.
Dusty: You're cute as a bug's ear. Goldust: Family have to say that stuff! Dusty: [sees Cody looking in a mirror] Cody, am I cute as a bug's ear? Cody: [poking head in] No, you're homely as a mule's butt! Dusty: [to Goldust] There, see?
|
|
|
Post by BorneAgain on Nov 10, 2010 13:14:37 GMT -5
David Hart Smith: Hey Tyson you want to team tonight? Tyson Kidd: No. Smith: Oh, when someone doesn't wanna tag team with their relative, something is seriously wrong. Teddy Hart: I'll team with you. Smith: Get the hell out!
|
|
|
Post by Zenengage on Nov 10, 2010 22:45:07 GMT -5
|
|
toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
|
Post by toonami4life on Nov 10, 2010 23:14:53 GMT -5
At The TNA Locker Room, Vince Russo is telling what happened during his time in WCW.
Russo: Okay to triple the ratings I'm gonna have to think harder than I've ever thought!
He is shown reading an advanced book on promoting and working wrestling. The book is then shown in the trash and he is reading a book titled "Wrestling for Dummies," The book is also shown in the trash minutes later.
Frustrated he looks at the World Heavyweight Title and suddenly he gets an idea.
Russo: Of Course!
(He is then shown outside with a shotgun firing bullets into the air scaring away fans)
Russo: Wrestling! Get your Wrestling here! Wrestling right now! Who's up first for wrestling!
Chris Sabin: Jarrett make him tell the story right.
Jeff Jarrett: That's what happened
Sabin: Oh...
Russo: My attempts attracted a record breaking number of cops at a show but few stayed to watch.
|
|
Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846
|
Post by Heartbreaker on Nov 11, 2010 1:45:12 GMT -5
Michael Cole: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily. They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily. Gotta be nice, hostidididildilidilly... aw, hell-diddly-ding-dong crap! Can't you morons do anything right?!
*everyone gasps*
Matt Striker: Cole! We meant well, and everyone here tried their best.
Michael Cole: Well, I can't commentate in good intentions, Matt! Oh, your show's out of control, but we can't blame you, because you have good intentions!
AJ: Hey! Back off, man!
Michael Cole: Ooh, okay, nerd! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, man! Here's a catch-phrase you better learn for your adult years: "Hey, buddy, got a quarter?"
*everyone gasps*
AJ: I am shocked and appalled.
Naomi: Cole, with all due respect, AJ didn't do anything.
Michael Cole: Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be Naomi, NXT's answer to a question no one asked!
*Vickie Guerrero laughs*
Michael Cole: What do we have here? The long flabby arm of the law? The last case you got the bottom of, was a case of Malamars!
Kaitlyn: Malamars, oh haha. That's going in the act.
Michael Cole: Oh yeah, the clown. The only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh. *Looks at Ashley Valence* And as for you, I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a jerk!
Ashley Valence: Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?
Michael Cole: *to Goldust* You ugly, hate-filled man!
Goldust: Hey, hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um, what was the third thing you said?
Michael Cole: Josh, you are the worst human being I have ever met.
Josh Matthews: Hey, I got off pretty easy.
|
|
|
Post by big nasty on Nov 11, 2010 8:18:12 GMT -5
^^good stuff heartbreaker, especially the goldust part
|
|
OzzyMandez
Mephisto
Layla's Legion Representin'
Posts: 671
|
Post by OzzyMandez on Nov 11, 2010 8:24:02 GMT -5
Cena and Orton are in the ring in the middle of an argument...
CENA (points at Michael Cole): Oh yeah? Well you love Cole!
ORTON: No you love Cole! You're GAY for Cole!
CENA: YOU'RE gay for Cole!
Orton and Cena fight.
COLE (Sadly): No one's gay for Cole...
|
|
|
Post by Enrico Palazzo on Nov 11, 2010 13:30:24 GMT -5
NXT 3 Final:
Cole: Oh, this is so embarrassing. Josh: Cole, did anyone force you to come here today? Cole: You. Josh: Mmmm. Well, no one's forcing you to stay. Cole: Okay, I'm leaving. [gets up] Josh: [grabs Cole, and sits him down] Oh, you're not going anywhere, buddy.
Vickie tries to get votes for Kaitlyn (or whoever her protege is):
"But it's me! Vickie -- wearing a sailor suit! Vickie, with a lolly! I mean, it's so out of character. Ain't that worth nothin'?"
And the winner is:
Cole: "And the winner is.. ME! for having to put up with all this!"
|
|
|
Post by Trent Valentine on Nov 11, 2010 16:39:37 GMT -5
*Cena has once again screwed up, at the Nexus dinner table, Barrett is angry.*
Barrett: Slater? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Slater: Cena, please pass Wade the syrup.
Cena: Otunga, tell Barrett I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used to force me to screw Orton out of a match.
Otunga: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup Barrett?
Barrett: Slater, tell Otunga I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Slater: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Cena, not Otunga.
Barrett: Otunga, thank Slater for pointing that out.
Slater: Wade, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Barrett: Cena, tell Slater to get off my case.
Otunga: Uhhh, Wade, Cena's the one you're not talking to.
Barrett: Otunga, go to your room!!
Cena: Why don't you just make him your slave, Barrett?
Barrett: I don't need any serving suggestions from you! You Match-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all!
Cena: That's IT! I can't stay in a stable with this power hungry dictator! I am out of here!
[leaves and slams the door]
Barrett:[to Otunga] That's it! Go to your room!
|
|
|
Post by casualobserver on Nov 11, 2010 18:57:28 GMT -5
Barrett: David Otunga, for your continuing and baffling undermining of my authority, you are hereby banished from the Nexus forever. And as a final humiliation, you must walk home naked, dragging behind you the Stone of Shame.
(Justin Gabriel snaps a metal collar around Otunga's neck. Otunga starts to walk when everyone gasps and points to his backside.)
Slater: The mark!
Otunga: Oh, that. It's just a birthmark. And I'll thank you not to stare!
McGillicuty: He's the Chosen One! (The Nexus bow before Otunga.)
Barrett: You are the Chosen One whom the sacred parchment prophesied would lead us to glory! Now to the top of Mount Nexus for the coronation! Remove the Stone of Shame. Otunga: Woo hoo!
Barrett: And attach the Stone of Triumph! Otunga: D'oh! Everyone: Yay! (They all run off, leaving Otunga to drag a much larger stone uphill.)
|
|
toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
|
Post by toonami4life on Nov 11, 2010 19:02:19 GMT -5
Bret is telling The Hart Dynasty about his early years.
Bret: Back then I was known as the Hitman, and I was the leader of the Flying Hellfish, we where are all in the WWF at that time. There was Dustin and Cody's father Dusty Rhodes.
Dusty: Um, if anyone finds a grenade without a pin if you will, it's mine. (His bag goes off in flames)
(Bret and the others laugh as a man wearing a suit and tie notices a piece of paper on his back that says fire me) Our Radio man, I.R.S.
Irwin: Alright very funny, well I didn't join this tax cheating company to make friends.
And Watching our backs was Jim The Anvil Neidhart
Neidhart: Gah Ha Ha Ha!
Bret: And there was also Horowitz, Hercules, Warlord, and Koko. But every wrestling company has a troublemaker, ours was a cocky young rookie named Shawn Michaels.
Michaels is being carried to the back on the stretcher and then opens his eyes and yawns and sits up.
HBK: Haven't you won the Monday Night Wars yet?
Warlord: Duh Hey, you said you was dead!
Michaels: Yes...Dead tired...But I'm quite refreshed now thank you.
|
|
|
Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Nov 11, 2010 19:14:48 GMT -5
Bret is telling The Hart Dynasty about his early years. Bret: Back then I was known as the Hitman, and I was the leader of the Flying Hellfish, we where are all in the WWF at that time. There was Dustin and Cody's father Dusty Rhodes. Dusty: Um, if anyone finds a grenade without a pin if you will, it's mine. (His bag goes off in flames) (Bret and the others laugh as a man wearing a suit and tie notices a piece of paper on his back that says fire me) Our Radio man, I.R.S. Irwin: Alright very funny, well I didn't join this tax cheating company to make friends. And Watching our backs was Jim The Anvil Neidhart Neidhart: Gah Ha Ha Ha! Bret: And there was also Horowitz, Hercules, Warlord, and Koko. But every wrestling company has a troublemaker, ours was a cocky young rookie named Shawn Michaels. Michaels is being carried to the back on the stretcher and then opens his eyes and yawns and sits up. HBK: Haven't you won the Monday Night Wars yet? Warlord: Duh Hey, you said you was dead! Michaels: Yes...Dead tired...But I'm quite refreshed now thank you. Brilliant!
|
|
|
Post by Porky's Butthole on Nov 11, 2010 22:37:57 GMT -5
Kevin Thorne:"Hey hey, kids...welcome to ECW. I'm going to suck.
*cue card guy holds up next card*
".......your blood." ------ Vince on PA:"I need a volunteer to job out to HHH......shall I assume that Funaki's hand is the only one raised?" ------ The Crap Boards: Last night's Raw was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. ----- JR: It seems every week the WWE goes through a situation like this. My suggestion is to just ride it out, make the occasional smart-aleck quip, and next week, we'll return right to where we were, ready for another wacky adventure.
King: PUPPIES!
JR: That's the spirit. ----- Vince McMahon: America has come down with a fever: WrestleMania fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see WrestleMania Sunday afternoon.
Public Service Announcer: Warning. Tickets should NOT be taken internally.
Mark Henry: See? Because of me, now they have a warning. ----- [WWF fans see a sign: "Mabel is 1995 WWF King of the Ring"]
Fans: I know those words, but that sign doesn't make sense. -----
|
|
toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
|
Post by toonami4life on Nov 11, 2010 22:48:18 GMT -5
Continuing on...
Tyson: You bossed around Mr. Wrestlemania? How come you where a multi time tag champion and he was only a curtain jerker?
Bret: Well he got in trouble for hitting on President Jack Tunney's wife, and we got stuck with him.
(During the 1989 Royal Rumble Andre The Giant is shown about to clothesline Michaels, Bret shoves him out of the way and takes the lariat getting knocked out.)
Bret: Wham! Wham! It went, they took a photo of my Knocked out face for Pro Wrestling Illustartor (Thinks) At least that's what they told me
DH: If you saved Michaels from being eliminated how come he wants to injure you and force you to retire?
Bret: It was the closing days of the Territories we just purchased another one and where looking at the arena we got.
(Michaels comes in admiring a pair of championship belts)
Neidhart: Hey, Mike found some titles
Dusty: Wait a minute we ain't suppose to steal titles only clobberin' they former holders.
Bret: You want me to report you to his Lordship Alfred Hayes? Just leave them Shawn.
Shawn: Leave them for whom? WCW, those trying to put us out of a job? Let's sell them, we'll be rich, rich as Billionaire Ted
(The group mutters in agreement)
KoKo: Think what a guy can get with that kind of money
Irwin: Yes, I can get other people to hunt down tax cheats.
Dusty: I can get a translator so I can understand what everyone else is saying
Neidhart: I can buy my way into high Gah Ha Ha! society!
Bret: Well...I don't feel right about it but I could use a nest egg, I'd hate to have to wrestle someone half my age when I'm in my fifties with a Stupid name like The Miz.
Shawn: Then it's agreed, but we can't sell the titles now, we'll be caught. How many of you are familiar with a tontine? (The group looks at him and then Warlord raises his hand) Alright Lord tell us.
Warlord: Duh, Essentially we are enter into a contract where the last man to still be wrestling becomes owner of all them pretty titles.
HBK: Well put Warlord, (takes out paper) Now remember we can't all put down an X for our name.
The titles are stowed away in a crate and each man places his hand on them as Bret finishes his tale.
Bret: We knew that only one of us would ever look on the titles again. Warlord was the first to retire. He got a hernia carrying the crate out. Five more retired at the Heroes of Wrestling Disaster. Now that Horowitz is retired, it leaves only me and Shawn.
Natalya: Great story Uncle Bret, could've used a vampire. Night. (The Hart Dynasty leave the room)
|
|
Beartato
Hank Scorpio
Conspiracy Victim
Posts: 5,913
|
Post by Beartato on Nov 11, 2010 22:57:41 GMT -5
Wade Barrett: DAVID OTUNGA, FOR YOUR CONTINUING INSOLENCE, YOU ARE HEREBY BANNED FROM NEXUS. YOU, AND YOUR CHILDREN, AND YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN, FOR THREE MONTHS
|
|
|
Post by RI Richmark on Nov 12, 2010 19:46:59 GMT -5
Michael McGillicutty and Husky Harris are sworn in as members of the Nexus.
Husky and Michael: And by the sacred armband, I swear that if I reveal the secrets of the Nexus,...
Husky: may my stomach become bloated... Michael: and my head start balding prematurely -- David Otunga: Um, I think they should have to take a different oath.
Wade Barrett: Everyone takes the same oath. Welcome to the club, gentlemen. You have joined the Sacred Order of the Nexus who, since June 2010, have broken through the glass ceiling and brought a new world order to the WWE. Now let's all get drunk and beat up Evan Bourne! Everyone: Yay! Otunga: 'Cause Husky's already kind of heavy, you know, and --
|
|
toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
|
Post by toonami4life on Nov 12, 2010 20:42:15 GMT -5
(At The Hardyz it's Jeff's Birthday and many wrestlers are there having a party. Jeff opens a box and reveals thousands of dollars)
Jeff: Wow thanks Nash
Lita: Where'd you get the money Nash
Nash: TNA, I don't need it. I don't deserve it, but if they miss one payment I'll raise hell!
Jeff: Hey Matt I didn't get a present from you.
Matt: D'oh! I mean, don't worry Jeff. I forget to get you a present but I swear on Flair's grave.
Ric: Hey!
Matt: I'll get you one now. (Gets out of the house and drives off)
Matt drives to a town and store and goes inside and sees several exotic items A japanese man with a cane walks towards him at the counter
Matt: Do you sell gifts here?
Mr. Fuji: We sell exotic items from places normal men fear to tread. We also sell Frozen yogurt, which I call Frogurt.
Matt: Well I need a gift for my brother's birthday.
Mr. Fuji: Ah, well maybe there's something here to satisfy the young gentleman. (Walks past several items and picks up a Macho Man Randy Savage figure) Take this object but beware it carries a terrible curse.
Matt: (Concerned) Oh That's bad
Mr. Fuji: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Matt: (Happy) That's good
Mr. Fuji: The Frogurt is also cursed
Matt: (Concerned) That's bad
Mr. Fuji: But you get your choice of toppings!
Matt: (Happy) That's good!
Mr. Fuji: The toppings contain potassium benzoate (Matt stares at him not understanding) That's bad...
Matt: Can I go now?
|
|
zing
Don Corleone
Talk about him more!
Posts: 1,545
|
Post by zing on Nov 12, 2010 20:51:57 GMT -5
Aksana: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.
|
|
|
Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Nov 18, 2010 15:37:08 GMT -5
Matt Hardy: Look, the thing about E&C feuding with the Hardy's, there's four of us: Edge, Small Edge, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him. *falls off bar stool*
|
|
|
Post by SamTastic thinks CM Punk sucks on Nov 18, 2010 15:54:22 GMT -5
Rex Banner: Are you the Anonymous RAW GM?
Teddy Long: No I'm not, but if you're talking about Smackdown playa, I'm guil-iddly-ty as Cha-dilly-arged!
Rex Banner: Book him, Boys.
|
|