ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Dec 2, 2010 22:19:57 GMT -5
*Alex Riley is being helped by Paramedics as Cole & Miz watch*
Paramedic: Son, you've consumed a dangerous amount of alcohol.
Riley: The only dangerous amount of alcohol is none.....*gets away from the paramedics and goes into the drivers seat of the Ambulance* Hey, let's go to IHOP.
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toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
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Post by toonami4life on Dec 2, 2010 22:50:38 GMT -5
(During ECW's financial troubles Paul Heyman attempts to save money and build a ring himself. However he accidentally spills the equipment and manual into cement)
Heyman: Gotta work fast! Cement drying! Oh no English side ruined, must use French Instructions! Le Ringe? What the Hell is that?!
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Post by casualobserver on Dec 2, 2010 23:02:25 GMT -5
(During ECW's financial troubles Paul Heyman attempts to save money and build a ring himself. However he accidentally spills the equipment and manual into cement) Heyman: Gotta work fast! Cement drying! Oh no English side ruined, must use French Instructions! Le Ringe? What the Hell is that?! "Ahhh, that's a fine looking ring... WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT!"
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Dec 2, 2010 23:37:42 GMT -5
(During ECW's financial troubles Paul Heyman attempts to save money and build a ring himself. However he accidentally spills the equipment and manual into cement) Heyman: Gotta work fast! Cement drying! Oh no English side ruined, must use French Instructions! Le Ringe? What the Hell is that?! "Ahhh, that's a fine looking ring... WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT!" Heyman: *starts to break the ring out of anger* Why must everything in life be so hard? Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry!? Beulah: How's Heyman's project coming along? Tommy Dreamer: I think he's almost done. Heyman: *Screams outside as Paul rams an umbrella into the pit and it opens* Tommy Dreamer: He's done.
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Dec 3, 2010 0:37:39 GMT -5
(During ECW's financial troubles Paul Heyman attempts to save money and build a ring himself. However he accidentally spills the equipment and manual into cement) Heyman: Gotta work fast! Cement drying! Oh no English side ruined, must use French Instructions! Le Ringe? What the Hell is that?! "Ahhh, that's a fine looking ring... WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT!" If that was Jeff Jarrett in that situation instead of Heyman = GOLD
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toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
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Post by toonami4life on Dec 3, 2010 1:28:48 GMT -5
During a Raw Special, Mae Young enters wearing a skimpy dress.
King: What is keeping that dress together!?
J.R.: The collective will of everyone in this room!
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Post by RI Richmark on Dec 3, 2010 2:48:43 GMT -5
I used this before but I read the previews about house shows and had to bring it back.
A man with a purple Ce-nation t-shirt, thick mustache, and a big sombrero walks into the Nexus locker room
Man: Ola, seniors. I was wondering if you could help me find my cousin? Wade Barrett: Oh, get out of here, John Cena. You're fired.
Man: John? Oh, no senior. My name is Juan Cena. I'm John's long lost cousin from Mexico, and I'm looking for him. [The Nexus beats him up and tosses him out, unconscious just as John Cena walks by]
John Cena: [looks at Juan] [gasps] Oh my God! This man is my exact double. [gasps] Oh my God! That dog has a puffy tail! [he chases it, giggling] Here, Puff! Here, Puff!
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Dec 3, 2010 3:01:49 GMT -5
1997. Just after the ECW invasion of WWF angle. At an Airport
Linda McMahon: Good bye RVD. Have a safe trip back to Philly. Rob Van Dam: And if you ever want to visit ECW.... Vinc McMahon: Nah, we're not going to be doing that.
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toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
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Post by toonami4life on Dec 8, 2010 19:20:19 GMT -5
During WWE's trip to Japan, John Morrison and Matt Hardy got arrested for assualting the Emperor and after the bail is played walk around Tokyo with The Bellas
Morrison: I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff! In jail we had to be in this dumb Kabuki play, about the 47 Junior Heavyweights, and I wanted to be Jushin Thunder Liger but they made me Black Tiger!
Matt: Then we had to do two hours of origami, followed by flower arranging and meditation!
Morrison in Japanese: Should we tell them the secret to Inner Peace?
Matt in Japanese: No, they are foreign devils.
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Post by bradshawrules on Dec 8, 2010 20:23:34 GMT -5
Matt Hardy to a few kids
Matt : Last night’s “Monday Night Raw” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
Alex Riley Talking to the Punk on soberiety How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Vince to Teddy Long Vince: I’ve had it with this show, teddyr. Low ratings, match after match of ugly, ugly sports entertainers…
Melina to John Morrisson before survivor series Look out, John! He’s Irish
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dav
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,045
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Post by dav on Dec 8, 2010 20:37:02 GMT -5
*Jim Cornette falls into a coma in 1984 and wakes up in 2010.*
Jim: So whatever happened to Crockett Promotions and Vince's attempts to break into other markets?
Snuka: Well the former went under after selling itself to Ted Turner and the latter now owns the largest wrestling company in the entire world.
Jim: Goodnight! *Flatlines.*
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Post by wildojinx on Dec 9, 2010 0:28:50 GMT -5
Vince (to Cody Rhodes and Drew MacEntyre), and you two can be,,uhh Cody: Team Triforce! Drew: Your nerdiness better come in handy!
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toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
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Post by toonami4life on Dec 11, 2010 16:00:30 GMT -5
(When Mickie James is talking to Vince about making the Women's division serious)
Vince: Mickie, if the bible has taught us nothing, and it hasn't. It's that girls should stick to girl sports. Like Hot Oil Wrestling, Foxy Boxing, and such and such.
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Dec 11, 2010 16:30:52 GMT -5
The truth behind what really got Matt Hardy to leave the WWE:
*Hardy storms into Vince's office*
Matt: Yes, finally. I would like to return your quote unquote, ECW Belt.
Vince: I see, do you have a show you'd rather be drafted to, quote unquote, sir?
Matt: I do not have a show, I'd rather come up with my own shoots on Youtube. Also, I find your choice of prize highly illogical as the average ECW title holder has no use for a medium-sized belt.
Vince: Whoa, whoa. A fat, sarcastic Youtube shooter. You must be a devil with the ladies.
Matt: Hey, I... Huh... Tha... Oh...
Vince: Gee, I hate to let you down Casanova, but uh, no real ideas, no return.
Jack Swagger: I'll give you four bucks for it.
Matt: Very well. I must hurry back to my web cam, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them.
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theshowstoppa
Don Corleone
This is why I like Brooke.
Posts: 1,296
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Post by theshowstoppa on Dec 11, 2010 16:49:34 GMT -5
Chyna: (singing) When a mannnnnn loooves a woman.. John Morrison: Which one are you? The man or the woman? *Chyna runs off stage crying* Miz: Questioning the kid's gender? Niccccee.
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Dec 12, 2010 1:13:20 GMT -5
Meanwhile at the Bottom Less Pit
*Vince McMahon throws a large bag down the Pit* Vince McMahon: Goodbye archives of Chris Benoit. *Vince leaves, Then Edge arrives wheeling Paul Bearer in a Wheelchair* Edge: OK Paul, down you go! *Edge pushes Bearer into the pit then leaves as Sean Waltman carrying a large box arrives* Waltman: I was a fool to think people would want to see Chyna and I featured in a sex tape. *Sean throws the box down the pit. But the box comes right back out into Sean's arms* Waltman: What The!?
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Dec 12, 2010 2:02:50 GMT -5
*Vince, Triple H, Stephanie, and Linda all walk up to Matt Striker whose watching a bunch of NXT rookies*
Linda: Kids, would ya like a rookie?
Triple H: Yeah right. Then I'd like a tag team and a diva. Actually I would like a diva.
Stephanie: Those rookies won't get pushed for thousands of years, but if Hunter gets a diva then I want a diva!
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BorneAgain
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,316
Member is Online
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Post by BorneAgain on Dec 12, 2010 2:21:46 GMT -5
At a WWE focus group meeting, Vince tries to figure out what the IWC wants.
Man: Okay, how many of you guys would like WWE to deal with shades of gray characters, week to week plot turns, and extreme matches, like the days of the Attitude Era?
[The fans all cheer and agree)
Man: And who would like to see them do just the opposite - with cartoon characters, long build ups, and more simplistic matches?
[More cheering]
Man: So, you want an adult, soap opera program... that's completely off-the-wall and swarming with colorful, kid friendly gimmicks?
[The fans agree]
Fan 1: Yeah, good.
Fan 2: And also, you should win things by watching!
[Vince grows fed up and steps into the room]
Vince: You people don't know what you want! That's why you're still just fans: 'cause you're stupid! Just tell me what's wrong with the freakin' show!
He turns the lights out. A Crapper starts crying and pounds his fist on the table
Crapper: Mommy!
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Post by Summerfest on Dec 12, 2010 2:42:55 GMT -5
*Michael Cole turns heel*
Michael Cole: I-am-evil-Co-le!
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Post by wildojinx on Dec 12, 2010 9:12:17 GMT -5
(The NXT season 4 rookies have all been attacked backstage) Vince: My rookies! They never hurt anyone! They never even had a chance!
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