FinalGwen
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Particularly fond of muffins.
Posts: 16,453
|
Post by FinalGwen on Nov 18, 2010 16:12:47 GMT -5
Kozlov: How can you defend a country where 5 percent of the people control 95 percent of the wealth? Morrison: I'm defending a country where people can think, and act, and worship any way they want... Except in the Palace of Wisdom. Kozlov: Can not. Morrison: Can too. Kozlov: Can not! Morrison: Can too! Santino: Please, please, friends, be stop with the fighting. Maybe Morrison is right about America being lands of opportunity, and maybe Vladimir has a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers.
|
|
toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
|
Post by toonami4life on Nov 18, 2010 22:15:12 GMT -5
After a segment on NXT
Fan: You took four minutes of my life and I want them back! Oh I'd only waste them.
|
|
|
Post by wildojinx on Nov 20, 2010 22:49:14 GMT -5
Announcer: Coming to the ring, The friendly russian, vladimir koslov! Fan 1: Hey, didnt he used to be a heel? Fan 2: Yes, but im afraid International relations have even affected wrestling, perhaps for good.
|
|
And_5400
Trap-Jaw
Congratulations......Does a bus run through here?
Posts: 490
|
Post by And_5400 on Nov 20, 2010 23:19:42 GMT -5
During the infamous match between Kofi, Cena and Orton. Orton RKO's Kofi Orton: What's the matter with ya kid? You meant to stay down for longer. Oh i'm gonna to get you depushed, oh ho im gonna a get you, just you wait..... Randy then sinks into the ring as Kofi waves goodbye.
|
|
|
Post by casualobserver on Nov 21, 2010 0:23:00 GMT -5
Here's some quick hitters: ---- (After the latest round of firings)
Daniel Bryan: The boss has fired the inept and spared the talented.
Kofi Kingston: Isn't that Ted DiBiase?
Daniel Bryan: Huh? Looks like the WWE is easier to get into than Arizona State.
----
Alex Riley: So then I said to the cop, "No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk."
-----
John Morrison: (watching Raw) "Santino runs afoul of Sheamus." Watch out, Santino. He's Irish.
-----
(the formation of the Nexus)
Skip Sheffield: All right, I'll be Cue Ball. David can be Eight Ball, Justin will be Twelve Ball, and Wade, you'll be Cue Ball.
Wade Barrett: You're an idiot.
-----
Vince McMahon: (auditioning people to replace JR) Besides here, what other kind of broadcasting experience do you have?
Michael Cole: I dunno. Making nerds cry?
Vince McMahon: Perfect! You can be our play-by-play man for Raw.
|
|
|
Post by RI Richmark on Nov 21, 2010 3:17:48 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by casualobserver on Nov 29, 2010 0:44:56 GMT -5
(Vince McMahon has had enough of The Nexus and wants to rid the WWE of them once and for all.)
Vince: Get me John Cena! Cole: He's unavailable. Vince: Then get me his non-union Mexican equivalent! (later) Listen, Juan Cena, I want you to do to The Nexus what DX did to The Spirit Squad.
|
|
|
Post by wildojinx on Nov 29, 2010 1:18:39 GMT -5
after reading the nerd thread this came to mind Michael Cole is talking about his weekend: Cole: Me and Evan Bourne played D&D for 8 hours, then i was killed by an elf Miz: Listen to you man, you're hanging with nerds! Cole: But nerds are my mortal enemy Lawler: Nerds arent all bad, famous nerds in wrestling include Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Scott Levy, and Shane Helms Cole: Not Helms!
|
|
|
Post by the5thhorseman on Nov 29, 2010 2:20:42 GMT -5
Drew McIntyre, about to be chokeslammed by Kane, tries to remember the advice that Mr. McMahon gave him: McMahon: Now, if you ever find yourself in a tough spot with Kane, just remember to... Cody Rhodes: It feels like I'm wearing no kneepads at all! no kneepads at all! no kneepads at all! Drew McIntyre: Stupid sexy Cody!
|
|
|
Post by G✇JI☈A on Nov 29, 2010 3:23:50 GMT -5
Here is one I have done before:
*WWE Board Room* Vince: OK so the plan is to have John Cena come back in a unconvincing mask calling himself Jaun Cena. Of course Nexus knows this and do everything in their power to unmask him. *A IWC member bursts into the room* Smark: HELLO! Hulk Hogan did this with you McMahon back in 2003 as Mr USA with hilarious results. Vince: DOES ANYONE CARE WHAT THIS GUY SAYS!? Everyone Else In Board Room: NO!
|
|
toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
|
Post by toonami4life on Nov 29, 2010 10:22:27 GMT -5
(Daniel Bryan is being investigated if he was responsible for an attack on Cole.)
Bryan: Revenge? Yes I did vow revenge, but why strangle him with a tie when I can set his soul afire with a slanderous mambo? Listen if you will to my Revenge. Uno Dos Tres!
Latin jazz music starts playing from him and the band.
Super Crazy singing:
Wounds won't last long but an insulting song Cole will always carry with him So I'll settle my score on the Salsa floor with this vengeful Latin rhythm! Cole! Con el corazón de perro Señor Cole! El diablo con dinero! It may not surprise you but all of us dispise you please die, and fry in hell, you rotten dumb, idiotic botcher! Adios viejo!
|
|
Soultastic
El Dandy
Only an idiot can be completely happy.
Posts: 8,046
|
Post by Soultastic on Nov 29, 2010 10:56:41 GMT -5
Miz: So, another Monday Night Raw is upon us. What will you be doing Riley? Something gay no doubt? Riley: What? Miz: You know: light-hearted, fancy-free, mothers lock up your daughters! Riley is on the town! (chuckles) Riley: (laughs) Exactly, sir. (laughs nervously)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Miz and Riley are watching Daniel Bryan eating carrots on the monitor) Miz: That's right. Keep eating. Little do you know you're drawing ever so closer to the poison carrot! (laughs evilly, then pauses) There is a poison carrot, isn't there, Riley? Riley: Uhh...no, sir. I discussed it with our lawyers, and they consider it murder. Miz: Damn their oily hides!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The Miz is angry because people like Bryan's dogs) Riley: People like dogs, Mr. Miz. Miz: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Riley - if I started pawing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say? Riley: ...If you did it, sir?
|
|
|
Post by Captain Charisma on Nov 29, 2010 11:12:18 GMT -5
Josh Matthews: Champ, do you feel remorse for your crime?
Bryan: Oh, yes. Believe me, my god if I could turn back the clock on the announcer's tie-choking, I would certainly, reconsider it.
Josh Matthews: Daniel, ah, what do you think of William Regal?
Bryan: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definately gonna make orphans of his children.
Josh Matthews: Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ?
Bryan: Yes, but I imagine she would die of grief
|
|
|
Post by RI Richmark on Nov 29, 2010 20:07:06 GMT -5
Daniel Bryan notices that his US Title is missing.
Bryan: [Frantically looks for it] Oh, oh!
Michael Cole: Looking for something?
Bryan: What have you done with my title? [goes to look for it]
Cole: I've hidden it. To find it, you'll need to decipher a series of clues, each more fiendish --
Bryan: [finds it] Got it!
Cole: D'oh!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miz spots Randy Orton backstage at Raw
Miz: Well, I don't have a match tonight so I'm just going to relax back here.
Miz's brain: Little does he know I'm planning to cash in my Money In The Bank tonight.
Miz: Just relax backstage, then head to the hotel, that's the plan.
Miz's brain: Heh, heh, heh. He doesn't suspect a thing. [camera pans down to Miz's mouth, but he doesn't say anything] Well, off to the hot tub. Miz: Then to cash in my Money In The Bank.
Miz's brain: Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it? Miz: [panicky] I've got to think of a lie fast! Orton: Miz, are you going to cash in that Money In The Bank tonight? Miz: Aah! [Runs off]
|
|
|
Post by casualobserver on Nov 30, 2010 0:22:09 GMT -5
(Husky Harris and David Otunga after Cena takes out Gabriel)
Harris: What are we gonna do Dave? Cena has taken out 3 of the Nexus. We're sitting ducks now!
Otunga: Now don't you fret, when I'm through Cena won't step foot in the WWE again. I can be very, very persuasive.
(Otunga meets with Cena)
Otunga:(whining) Come on, leave the WWE.
Cena: No.
Otunga: (still whining) I'll be your friend.
Cena: No.
Otunga: (pouting) Oh, you're mean.
|
|
|
Post by WhiteFu on Nov 30, 2010 4:13:58 GMT -5
Daniel Bryan: Excuse me, which way to the chess club? Micheal Cole: What's your name, nerd? Bryan: Daniel Bryan Danielson. Alex Riley: Well, well, a big muscle-bound nerd. Cole: Huh. Just more of you to pick on. Bryan: The geek shall inherit the earth. [picks up the Cole, and uses him to spear Riley]
|
|
toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
|
Post by toonami4life on Nov 30, 2010 23:20:31 GMT -5
(TNA manages to get millions of dollars by sheer luck and accident where doing a tables match, Abyss falls through the arena and strikes oil that floods the Impact Zone. Hearing of their oil well and wanting it for himself Vince tries to get Dixie to give it to him)
Pat Patterson: Mrs. Carter this is your secretary, there's one last TNA employee here to see you.
Dixie: Hmm, I don't have a secretary or an intercom. But send him in.
(Vince enters her office wearig a TNA Impact! shirt and Cowboy James Storm hat.)
Vince: Ahoy there Dixie, I hear you was taking suggestions from Employees. (Sits on desk and you can hear his bones cracking and popping) Well me and several boys in the back would think it'd would be quite smashing if you gave the oil well to the Sports Enterainment Company up North
Dixie: Vince. (Vince looks at her in shock that his disguise didn't work) It was naive of you to think I would mistake you for one of TNA's wrestlers.
Vince: I want that oil well, I have a monopoly to maintain. I own WWE and XFL, plus WWE studios in Hollywood!
Dixie: Your movies stink and your monopoly's pathetic, TNA's oil well is not for sale. Especially to a black hearted scoundrel like yourself!
Vince: I see...then you leave me no choice but to...ATTACK YOU!! (Flails his arms uselessly trying to hit her but can't reach her) I must have that oil well. Pant* Pant* Patterson...help me subdue this banshee
(Patterson enters the room with a stapler)
Patterson: Sorry sir, this is all I could find. Take that! (Fires staples at her and they hit the desk and she looks at them annoyed)
Dixie: Please don't waste those.
|
|
|
Post by casualobserver on Dec 1, 2010 10:31:14 GMT -5
Jeff Hardy: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "Walking A Golden Mile" and it gave me absolutely no insight on where this "golden mile" is located or how to walk it! Sure it taught me that there is always hope to recover from drug addiction if you're willing to make the effort...but what good does *that* do me?
|
|
toonami4life
Don Corleone
Better than your favorite crossover
Posts: 1,770
|
Post by toonami4life on Dec 1, 2010 11:55:08 GMT -5
Sandman is in Austrailia and enters a pub and goes to the bartender.
Sandman: Gimme one of those giant Austrailian beers I hear you have.
(Bartender puts a giant can of beer on the table and Sandman looks disappointed)
Bartender: Is there a problem yank?
Sandman: No, it's big, but I thought it would be bigger.
|
|
|
Post by Trent Valentine on Dec 1, 2010 12:13:54 GMT -5
A young Dustin Rhodes's shadow is burned into the floor and wall, a flashback to Dustin watching Kennedy.
Kennedy: If I may, Helen, I'd like to respond to that question with yet another flip remark. The reporters laugh.
Dustin: Wow. [walks into kitchen] Look at me, er, uh, Mom: I am, er, uh, President Kennedy.
Mrs. Rhodes: Oh, Dusty: maybe our Dustin could grow up to be President some day. Dusty: You, President? This is the greatest country in the world. We've got a whole system set up to prevent people like you from ever becoming president. Quit your daydreaming, melonhead! Back to the Present
Dusty: Quit your daydreaming, melonhead!
Goldust: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement? Maybe I could have been something more than I am. Like a travel agent, to a great scientist, or the inventor of a hilarious refrigerator alarm. Dusty: Who are you to complain? You locked me up in WCW and give me the same damn shower safety seat every Christmas!
They both drive home in the car.
Goldust: Your whole life you never said one nice thing to me. Dusty: That's 'cause you're a screw-up!
Goldust:You're the screw-up! Dusty: Why you little -- [strangles Goldust.]
Goldust: All right, all right. That's it: we're going home! I'm sick of you and your stupid tonic!
Dusty: If I hadn't taken that stupid tonic 41 years ago, you'd have never been born and I'd have been happy. You were an accident!
Goldust: [gasps, stops car] Get out. Dusty: I'm sorry I said that.
Goldust: Out.
Dusty: I'm going to get out of the car, and I hope you'll find it in your heart not to drive away -- [Goldust skids off] Well, I'll be all right as long as I can remember my army training.
That night, Dusty just stands there.
Dusty: Dang..
|
|