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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2012 15:42:00 GMT -5
I agree, clearly I am not a golfer. Though, I never said parents have COMPLETE CONTROL over thier kids, kinda putting words in my mouth there. I said they can teach their kids to effectively mediate external influences. But when you reject the notion that kids can independently reject their parents teachings in favor of their peers, you're pretty much saying the same thing, that parents alone have total control over how their kids act, and others of their age group have no influence. That's not what I'm saying at all, but y'know, continue putting words in my mouth, its about time for lunch over here. haha! Hey man, I agree with what you said earlier - this convo obviously isn't going to be productive for either side so let's just call it.
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Post by Insomniac on Mar 15, 2012 15:44:57 GMT -5
I'm still laughing at this crazy analogy comparing people who make/repair shoes to people who raise children.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2012 15:46:07 GMT -5
I'm still laughing at this crazy analogy comparing people who make/repair shoes to people who raise children. I know, crazy right?
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Post by eukaryote on Mar 15, 2012 15:50:34 GMT -5
But how do you know it's a completely different parenting style and not a slight alteration of how permissive or strict they are? Regardless, I'll be blunt, the people with experience in dealing with parents with this problem and with advanced psychological training disagree with you. You have hypotheticals, fictional tropes, anecdotes, and blanket statements that amount to saying that parents have complete control over how their children think regardless of what their peers say. If you want to believe you know more than them, be my guest, but it's perfectly obvious that we're not going to change each other's minds here so it's better to stop before we circle around completely. I agree, clearly I am not a golfer. Though, I never said parents have COMPLETE CONTROL over thier kids, kinda putting words in my mouth there. I said they can teach their kids to effectively mediate external influences. Okay, so if they don't have complete control over their children, then their children are susceptible to outside influences, which means that a child's behaviour is not solely dependent on their parents.
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Post by Red Impact on Mar 15, 2012 15:57:12 GMT -5
I suppose it's easy when you're not a parent to have such strong opinions about what it takes to be one. Speaking as a parent myself I can tell you that the only real thing you CAN do is to love your child and teach them right from wrong. You hope and pray that you have raised them well and that when they ARE faced with choices that they make the best one. What we as parents think is the best one and what the kids themselves think is the best one are oftentimes different because, as was stated, the here and now is what matters most to a child. We think of their futures, they usually don't. We don't particularly care what their friends/peers think of them, they care sometimes TOO much. I haven't forgotten what it's like to be a kid though sadly I think some parents do. I know how tough it can be, but it's a necessary evil. I wish my child would never have to face peer pressure, bullies, closed mindedness or hatred, but she will and there's not a damn thing I can do to stop it from happening. I can be here when she needs me, I can give advice and life lessons. I can ensure she is being taken care of at home, but I can't guarantee that she will take care of herself when she isn't here. My voice can only say so much...the voice of her conscience has to say the rest. People fight so much against the notion that there are things you have to experience to really be able to act like an expert in, but there was ever one thing that I think that'd be true on, it'd be being a parent. People, myself included, often just get so fixated on one notion being correct and it really is impossible to predict how a particular child will act to their parents until that situation actually occurs. Dealing with humans is difficult enough, it's got to be even more stressful when they're not fully developed and completely under your care.
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Post by El Cokehead del Knife Fight on Mar 15, 2012 18:50:55 GMT -5
Looks like it's about the same party. It has some quotes in it that show up in both articles.
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