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Post by Vice Squad: Strong Style on Dec 20, 2005 14:20:40 GMT -5
samoa joe walked down the street one day, with an erection. there were no survivors.
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Post by tigermask on Dec 20, 2005 14:38:05 GMT -5
Samoa Joe's sweat can book Dennis Stamp, pay Luger to wrestle Ron Killings, kill people who doubt El Dandy, and make wrestling still seem real, dammit! Ugh, I was about to make one with "Joe doubts El Dandy". Joe laughs everyday at HMark. Joe's pee is actually stored frozen under the carengie hall ice rink. The government uses it for cloning attempts, and nuclear weapons. You don't wanna be there for the thaw.
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Post by Brother Ike: Thread Killer on Dec 20, 2005 14:38:23 GMT -5
Samoa Joe lives by one rule...No west Ghana chicks
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Post by Z-A Sandbaggin' Son of a b!%@h on Dec 20, 2005 14:47:54 GMT -5
If you ask Samoa Joe what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he ole kicks you in the face.
While at an ROH show in Virginia, Samoa Joe brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Samoa Joe ole kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Joe giveth, and the good Joe, he taketh away.
There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Samoa Joe.
Samoa Joe can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.
When Samoa Joe goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Samoa Joe coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
Samoa Joe can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass..... At night.
When Samoa Joe does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Johnny Danger (Godz)
Wade Wilson
loves him some cavity searches
Lord Xeen's going to kill you.
Posts: 27,736
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Post by Johnny Danger (Godz) on Dec 20, 2005 14:58:11 GMT -5
One day Joe booked Stamp.
Then killed him 2 seconds later.
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Post by HMARK Center on Dec 20, 2005 15:13:44 GMT -5
One day, a man blind since birth stepped on Samoa Joe's foot. Enraged, Joe yelled "Don't you know who I am? I'M SAMOA JOE, B***H!". Miraculously, the mere sound of Joe's name gave the man sight. Unfortunately, the first, last, and only thing the man ever saw was a stiff enziguri to the head.
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Post by Two-Time Champ Darth Violence on Dec 20, 2005 15:35:14 GMT -5
Someone once insinutated to Samoa Joe that the Muscle Buster was not as good a finisher as the Burning Hammer. History has recorded that moment as one of the worst mistakes ever.
Samoa Joe once went on a date with Missy Hyatt. He's the only man to not get an STD from her, because the disease viruses were scared of him.
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Methusael86
Samurai Cop
Steam: Dr. Medic MD
Posts: 2,489
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Post by Methusael86 on Dec 20, 2005 15:37:11 GMT -5
The only thing faster then the speed of light is how long it takes Samoa Joe to kill.
Samoa Joe can see air.
Samoa Joe's s**t cures AIDS.
Samoa Joe can part the red sea just by looking at it.
Apollo 13 made a mircale landing when Samoa Joe went into space and threw the rocket back down to Earth.
Samoa Joe once threw a rock into space at incredible speed. The rock he threw is known today as "Hailey's Comet"
Rumors of the moon being made of cheese began because Joe once bit half of it off.
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Post by Bullhead on Dec 20, 2005 15:55:03 GMT -5
The South lost The Civil War because Samoa Joe doesn't like grits.
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Phoenix
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
He's back and better than ever!
Fear The Desecrator
Posts: 18,958
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Post by Phoenix on Dec 20, 2005 16:39:34 GMT -5
In an attempt to end World War II, the United States government authorized the drop of Samoa Joe onto Hiroshima. However, the Japanese hired a mercenary, known today as Low Ki, to meet him. The ensuing fight leveled the city, killing thousands. However, the match was so well received (Metlzer gave it ****1/2) that a rematch was immediately booked in Nagasaki. The Single Greatest Post In The History Of These Boards
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Post by HMARK Center on Dec 20, 2005 17:05:58 GMT -5
Here's one from the original thread, so random that it must be preserved intact:
Samoa Joe has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLS**T!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Joe ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
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Post by invaderdave on Dec 20, 2005 17:47:41 GMT -5
Col. Blake didn't really die because his plane was shot down, Samoa Joe actually jumped up in the air and stiff kicked the wings off the plane.
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Post by Z-A Sandbaggin' Son of a b!%@h on Dec 20, 2005 17:56:40 GMT -5
Zack Gowen was born with 2 legs...he just Ask Joe for an autograph at the wrong time... one chomp later and the rest is history.
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Post by Bullhead on Dec 20, 2005 18:46:36 GMT -5
Contrary to popular belief, Babe Ruth did not call his famous home run shot. He was actually pointing at Samoa Joe, who was up in the stands giving Muscle Busters to Yankee fans and eating the hot dog vendors.
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Post by sirendemented on Dec 20, 2005 19:46:54 GMT -5
Here's one from the original thread, so random that it must be preserved intact: Samoa Joe has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLS**T!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Joe ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas. wtf? lol
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Post by HMARK Center on Dec 20, 2005 21:35:56 GMT -5
Here's one from the original thread, so random that it must be preserved intact: Samoa Joe has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLS**T!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Joe ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas. wtf? lol wtf? Exactly. There are no extinct or endangered species in this world. There are merely the animals that Samoa Joe allows to live.
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Post by sirendemented on Dec 20, 2005 22:21:50 GMT -5
wtf? lol wtf? Exactly. There are no extinct or endangered species in this world. There are merely the animals that Samoa Joe allows to live. Dude, that gets an even bigger wtf lol
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Post by jml897 on Dec 20, 2005 23:15:21 GMT -5
Best f'n thread ever.
The "Death of WCW in Quotes" thread comes close, but this one almost made me die of laughter.
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Glitch
King Koopa
Not Going To Die; Childs, we're goin' out to give Blair the test. If he tries to make it back here and we're not with him... burn him.
Watching you.
Posts: 12,717
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Post by Glitch on Dec 21, 2005 0:01:46 GMT -5
Joe doesn't give autographs,he signs "not being killed by joe" certificates.
Now for a non joe one... During a an ecw show in arizona,Rob van dam wanted to get a stronger effect with his frog splash.So he lept from an airplane when finishing sabu off.The effect was immensely strong,thus the grand canyon and the deserts.
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Dec 21, 2005 7:25:11 GMT -5
Joe makes his own Moonshine. He just eats a sack of potatoes and hey presto he pisses Moonshine. (OK Thats not so good Al).
Samoa Joe wrote Nine Inch Nail's 'Closer'. Its sort of a Bio song.
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