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Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Apr 30, 2015 22:01:18 GMT -5
Sting: Well, my work here is done.
Zack Ryder: But you didn't do anything!
Sting: Didn't I? *teleports away*
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on May 1, 2015 3:01:05 GMT -5
Michael Cole: Hey Barrett, what'd ya do, get a haircut or something?
Bad News Barrett: LOOK CLOSER, MICHAEL!
Michael Cole: Oh yeah, you're King of the Ring now! And you're made out of solid gold!
Bad News Barrett: 14 KARAT GOLD! *in the office of the Authority* TAKE A HIKE, BOSSES! I'M AFRAID I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS FOR YA. I'M RUNNING THINGS NOW!
Triple H: All hail King Barrett!
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on May 9, 2015 15:39:38 GMT -5
Dean Ambrose: Jealous? Mick Foley: Well... no, I have the same finisher. Dean Ambrose: You're jealous.
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Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846
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Post by Heartbreaker on May 10, 2015 2:55:41 GMT -5
Daniel Bryan: I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery! Triple H: You and what army? *A bunch of vanilla midgets stand by Daniel Bryan* Triple H: *gasps* Stand back! I have powers! Uh... political powers! *The Kliq stand by Triple H* Daniel Bryan: *gasps* Kevin Nash: It's showtime!
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schma
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,704
Member is Online
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Post by schma on May 10, 2015 3:54:35 GMT -5
Homer: To WWE the cause of and solution to all of life's problems. -------------- Marge: Why is that wrestler going over this one? Homer: It's a PPV Marge, it doesn't have to make sense. -------------- "Mr Hardy? Mr Hardy!" "Huh? Sorry we were talking about chocolate?" "That was fifteen minutes ago!"
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Reflecto
Hank Scorpio
The Sorceress' Knight
Posts: 6,847
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Post by Reflecto on May 10, 2015 4:02:52 GMT -5
Stephanie: What in blue blazes do you think you're doing, Paige?! Paige: What do you mean, ma'am? Stephanie: I mean this! (shows the video) (Paige gasps) Stephanie: A current WWE Diva carrying on like an over-sexed orangutan in heat! This is a family wrestling promotion! Our research indicates that over fifty percent of our Divas' fanbase is used by pathetic geeks who view the Divas as their waifu! (shuts video off) I will not have you offending our customers with your bawdy shenanigans!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2015 4:22:24 GMT -5
Vince: All right, Roman, I'm not gonna lie to you. There's a good chance you can beat Brock. But you gotta visualize how you're gonna win, okay?
Roman: Gotcha.
(In Roman's head, his hand being raised)
Cole: A congenital heart defect has apparently felled Lesnar moments before he could step into the ring.
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dav
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,028
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Post by dav on May 10, 2015 9:20:43 GMT -5
Vince: A potential new reality show can be put on the Network. We need to work on this! Triple H: That's good, but we need to work on booking some wrestling shows. Vince: Pff, I doubt that's what the WWE is about Hunter.
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on May 10, 2015 10:44:28 GMT -5
Mayor: We're thrilled you've decided to build your casino on our waterfront.
Vince: Oh, I'll never forget my carefree boyhood days on this old boardwalk. *riding a bumper car and bumps into a worker*
Worker: Why, you--*gasps* Master McMahon. I mean, carry on. *keeps getting bmuped by young Vince* Me leg's gone gimpy! *starts falling while still getting bumped* Who'll provide for me little ones? *screaming as Vince starts laughing*
Vince: Oh-- What was I laughing at now? Oh, yes. That crippled Irishman.
Patterson: Sir, the designers are here with some prototypes for your casino.
William Regal: Gentlemen, I give you Britannia! Gambling with all the glitz and glamour of the British Isles. Best of all, the waitresses and showgirls are all real Brits. Fresh from the streets of Sussex they are! *clicks tonuge*
Paige: Freshen your drink, governor?
Vince: Get out.
Rob Van Dam: Okay. All right. Wait---Now-- Now, dig this, man---
Vince: Get out! NOW!
Pirate Paul Burchill: I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. We'll sail round the horn and return with spices and silk the likes of which ye have never seen.
Vince: We're building a casino!
Pirate Paul Burchill: Arr. Can you give me five minutes?
Vince: Idiots. I'll design it myself!. I know what people like. It's got to have sex appeal and a catchy name. *shows outside of newly built casino named WWE Casino with Vince McMahon dressed as a (in his mind) "Sexy" Mermaid*
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lionheart21
Patti Mayonnaise
Once did a thing...
Posts: 30,522
Member is Online
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Post by lionheart21 on May 10, 2015 12:06:17 GMT -5
Vince: To stop Vince Russo, one-two-three, Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free, It's got Vince McMahon's guarantee ... [winks]
Stephanie: Guarantee void in Tennessee.
Vince and Stephanie: Just don't book! Just don't book! [repeat several times]
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cityboy
Trap-Jaw
MVC 3-0 MCY
Posts: 465
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Post by cityboy on May 10, 2015 12:09:05 GMT -5
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} WGTT getting ready to dress for their match. {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}Written on Vince's hand: Charlie = White Shelton = Black Seriously though, a team based on those two would be the best thing to hit wrestling since some homeless guy said yes. *edit* Before I forget, FAN's reaction to Reign's Jack and the Beanstalk promo.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on May 10, 2015 18:24:50 GMT -5
Mandatory post:
Vince: Hope you enjoyed that kids! Because we're out of here for the summer. In the meantime we'll be running...ugh...classic WWE. ENJOY!
The WWWF Show: First aired May 19th, 1963 Vince McMahon Sr: Good evening. Tonight my guest is WWWF champion Bruno Sammartino, who will be discussing collective bargaining agreements. Bruno: It's a pleasure to be here Vince. Vince Sr: Let me be blunt, is there a labour crisis in America today? Bruno: That depends on what you mean by crisis...
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,281
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Post by Push R Truth on May 10, 2015 18:51:06 GMT -5
Dolph: I'll get you WWE World Title Vince: No you won't Dolph: Yes, I will Vince: Won't
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on May 10, 2015 19:12:19 GMT -5
Aurora: Mom!
Triple H: Huh? What? Aurora, what's up?
Aurora: I just had a bad dream.
Triple H: Oh, sure. You just lie down and tell me all about it.
Aurora: Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed The Boogeyman was after me, and he's hiding...
Triple H: *screams* Boogeyman! You nail the windows shut. I'll get the gun. *runs into Shane McMahon*, Shane I don't want to alarm you but The Boogeyman or Boogeymen may be in the house.
Shane: *screams*
Stephanie McMahon: *comes home and sees the place has gone all to hell as she finds Triple H and company in the room with Triple H holding a gun out as they see Steph and sigh in relief* What happened here?
Triple H: Oh, nothing, Steph. Just a little incident involving The Boogeyman! *throws the gun down as it a gunshot goes off* None of this would have happened if you had been here to keep me from acting stupid!
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on May 23, 2015 13:10:13 GMT -5
Michael Cole: And the title shot goes to the man sitting backstage in seat zero, zero, zero, one... Roman Reigns! Booker T: And the fans don't like this one bit.
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on May 23, 2015 19:18:05 GMT -5
Vince McMahon: Well, let's look at the contract ourselves, eh? Benefits, perks, a green cookie on St. Patrick's Day? Oh-ho, it didn't use to be this way, Patterson. No, it didn't use to be this way at all.
*thinks back to a time when wrestling was all about big muscular men and nothing else*
Vince McMahon Sr: Come on, come on! Crack those backs and work on those headlocks! *sees a younger wrestler trying to make it in the business* You, turn out those pockets! Steriods. One, two, three, four-- Six of them! Take him away!
Kid: You can't treat the wrestlers this way! One day, we'll form a wrestling fanbase and get you guys to give our favorites the fair and equitable programs and pushes that they deserve. Then we'll go too far and get corrupt and people will grow to hate us and the Japanese will make better wrestling promotions then any other country!
Vince McMahon Sr: The Japanese? Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders? Bosh! Flimshaw!
*back to present day*
Vince McMahon: If only we had listened to that boy instead of sending him up into the abandoned Canadian Wrestling Promotions. Well, I am going to avenge my father. We'll take on that greedy internet fanbase and we'll get back our.....*has an evil look in his eye* Sports Entertainment.
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Post by RI Richmark on May 24, 2015 7:36:53 GMT -5
Backstage at NXT Takeover:
Vince McMahon: Hunter! You're having a Network Special Event and you didn't book Cena!? Triple H: Oh, sorry Vince. This is strictly an NXT affair
Vince: I can't believe you didn't seek my advice. [Squints eyes.] After I put those cool shoulder pads all over your Ascension. [Snaps fingers.] I know! I'll throw my own Special Event. The greatest event this company has ever seen, and I'll only book who I want. That'll show you.
Hunter: Can Kevin Owens be on it? Vince: Sure. [Turns away.] D'oh!
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,578
Member is Online
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Post by chrom on May 24, 2015 8:15:39 GMT -5
Michael Hayes: Hey, Von Erichs!
Von Erich family: Hiddily-ho neighborino!
Michael Hayes: Shut up!
Von Erich family: Okily-dokily!
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,578
Member is Online
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Post by chrom on May 25, 2015 18:07:40 GMT -5
From the previous Simpson Thread.
* Ryback with ringbell appears behind Grim Reaper
Ryback: This is for Owen and JFK! *Bashes Ringbell into it knocking its skull off.
Paige: Ryback, you killed death. This means no one can ever die.
Ryback: Does this mean TNA will never be cancelled?
Paige: I guess.
Ryback: NNOOOOOO!!!
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on May 29, 2015 0:47:19 GMT -5
John Cena: *looks at his US Open Match is off the card* Hey, what gives?
Triple H: You said you wanted a world without jobbers, Johnny. Well, now your matches have no guys to bury.
John Cena: I'm supposed to have a match but since i don't have anything to do tonight i should go pick Nikki up. I better give her a call.
Triple H: Sorry, Johnny without jobbers your ring rat girlfriend has been released.
John Cena: Dear God. What have I done?*tries to find guys in NXT who would job to him*
Triple H: Think again, Johnny. The roster in NXT are all main eventers now and that means....yup....No Jobbers.
John Cena: Come back, jobbers. Come back. Come back. Jobbers, come back. Jobbers! Jobbers, Jobbers! What? Oh, it was all a dream. Thank goodness I still live in a world of squash matches, burials, and many things in this world of WWE that i can't do to anyone else...but Jobbers.
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