Bobeddy
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Made a Terrible Mistake
Posts: 15,151
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Post by Bobeddy on Oct 23, 2007 16:15:36 GMT -5
From the X-Files Movie
Scully: I saw your face Mulder. There was a definite moment of panic.
Mulder: You've never seen me panic. When I panic, I make this face... *no change in expression*
Anyone who watched the X-Files will appreciate that line.
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Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
Posts: 121,080
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Post by Mozenrath on Oct 23, 2007 16:23:12 GMT -5
For some reason, these lines from crack me up. And they're from the same movie which I know some of you wrestlecrappers like. "Inconceivable!" "My name is Inio Montoya ... You killed my father ... Prepare to die." Just something about the way they are delivered, I guess. Princess Bride.
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Post by Tom Selleck on Oct 23, 2007 16:39:50 GMT -5
"Im gonna go have a smoke right now, you want to go smoke, you dont smoke do you right? What are you one of those fitness freaks heh? Go f*** yourself."
Alec Baldwin in The Departed, his superfast delivery is what makes it so funny.
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Post by General Adam on Oct 23, 2007 16:53:41 GMT -5
From Kung Pow: Enter the Fist.
"THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!"
I never laughed so hard because of one line.
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Post by "Sweet & Sour" ImSoFudginGreat on Oct 23, 2007 17:17:24 GMT -5
From Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. "THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!" I never laughed so hard because of one line. I nearly died of short of breath because of that one line.
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Jake, The Jake, Jake
Dennis Stamp
Will never EVER get a personal title. Ever. Nope. Never. Not a chance. No way, no how.
Posts: 3,723
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Post by Jake, The Jake, Jake on Oct 23, 2007 17:20:09 GMT -5
It was then that Chosen One learned a valuable lesson about great iron claws.....
THEY HURT LIKE CRAP, MAN!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2007 17:27:18 GMT -5
From Naked Gun 2
And my all time fav
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Johnny
King Koopa
Now with 100% more custom title.
Vern enjoys Johnny's 3 Humanoid Awards.
Posts: 11,662
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Post by Johnny on Oct 23, 2007 17:29:01 GMT -5
" I'm like motherf***er, I'm trying to watch The Lost Boys".
Reservoir Dogs
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Post by texaswhopper on Oct 23, 2007 19:25:12 GMT -5
From Fargo-
Shut the **** up! Or I'll throw you back in the trunk, you know?
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Oct 23, 2007 19:33:37 GMT -5
There are so many lines from "The Big Lebowski" that kill me no matter how many times I watch it. That movie is a shining example of the lines themselves not being overly funny, but the delivery absolutely making them! Examples: "Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man!"
"Eight year olds, Dude."
"Hey! This is a private residence, man!"
"No Walter, you're not wrong, you're just an asshole!"
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2007 19:50:11 GMT -5
"Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister" - John McClane "Die Hard"
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Post by J-Man R. on Oct 23, 2007 20:13:18 GMT -5
Here's a couple "Hello? Anybody home? Hello, Mr. Gopher! It's me, Mr. Squirrel. Just a harmless squirrel. Not a plastic explosive or anything. Nothing to be worried about. I'm just here to make your last hours on earth as peaceful as possible. Don't mind this. This is doctor's orders. You don't mind if I just pop in there for a few laughs? That's right. Or in the words of Jean-Paul Sartre: "Au revoir, gopher." This is going to be sweet. "
Todd Chester: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big? Clark: Bend over and I'll show you. Todd Chester: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold. Clark: [looking at his wife, Margo] I wasn't talking to you.
Receptionist: Can I help you Dr...? Fletch: Oh it's me, Dr. Rosenpenis. I'm just here to check out Alan Stanwyk's file. Receptionist: Dr. who? Fletch: Dr. Rosenrosen, I'm here to get into the records room. Receptionist: What was that name again? Fletch: It's Dr. Rosen, I want to check the records room. Receptionist: Dr. who? Fletch: Dr. Rosen! Where's the records room?
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Post by "Playboy" Don Douglas on Oct 23, 2007 20:29:19 GMT -5
"I'll tell you what - you make me a sargeant in charge of the booze, and I'll enlist!" - alcoholic in "Them!"
"And it'll be the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tapdanced with Danny f***in' Kaye" - Clark Griswold.
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Post by texaswhopper on Oct 23, 2007 20:38:32 GMT -5
From The Jerk-
Navin- What a great place. You can tell so much about a person from the way they live. Just looking around here I can tell youre a geniunley dirty person.
(Ive been to many a girls house that was unclean and I wanted to say that line)
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Post by General Adam on Oct 23, 2007 20:59:08 GMT -5
From Caddyshack:
"Hey everybody! Were all gonna get laid!"
God bless you Rodney Dangerfield.
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Oct 23, 2007 21:39:38 GMT -5
All of these from Friday:
Craig Jones: [points across the street to Mrs. Parker] Look, look, she's bendin' over! Pastor Clever: Lord have mercy! God is my shepherd, and he knows what I want! Pastor Clever: [running across the street] Excuse me, Mrs. Parker? Mrs. Parker!
Mrs. Jones: Craig, you know what your problem is? You have no game. Craig Jones: What do you know about game? I got ALL the game. Mrs. Jones: Now your father... he has game. Mr. Jones: [coming out of the bathroom] Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes. Somebody open up a window. Craig Jones: You call that game?
Smokey: Puff puff, give. Puff puff, give. You f***in' up the rotation.
Smokey: Older the berry, the sweeter the juice. Craig Jones: Man, it's the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. Smokey: Yeah, well she blacker than a motherf***er too.
Smokey: Remember it ,Write it down, take a picture, I don't give a f***.
Craig Jones: We ain't got no sugar. Smokey: No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn.
Smokey: I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do.
Dad: Every time I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen. In the goddamn refrigerator. Eatin' up all the food. All the chitlins... All the pig's feet... All the collard greens... All the hog maws. I wanna eat them chitlins... I like pigs feet.
Smokey: Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage.
Smokey: You got to be a stupid motherf***er to get fired on your day off.
Ezal: Aw, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. God. Oh, I'm hurt. Oh, my neck, my back, my neck and my back. Oh, I want $150,000, but we can settle out of court right now for twenty bucks. Janitor: Man, get your punk ass up. It ain't even wet over here. Damn.
Smokey: You got knocked the f*** out... gimme my goddamn money... yeah payback's a motherf***er, N*****!
Craig Jones: I felt sorry for Smokey, 'cause peer pressure is a motherf***er.
Smokey: [to big worm on the phone] Yea I got your money. And I don't appreciate you sendin' your punk-ass, busta-ass, jerri curl wearin'-ass friends down here to shoot at me and my homies. They'd like to got dealt with. Big Worm: First of all, don't be callin' here like you some straight up G, cause I'll cut ya balls off and hand 'em to ya, patna. You see, it's the principal of the thing. It's principalities involved. Smokey: Yea, well, Um, I... I got yo money anyways. Smokey: You sell that shit yourelf next time. I'm quitting this shit. I'm goin' to rehab. Smokey: [Lighting up a joint] I was just bullshittin'. And you know this. Man!
Craig Jones: What I'm trippin on, is how you gonna sell bud, when you smoke it? Smokey: I don't know. That's my only problem. Craig Jones: Big Worm gonna f*** you up. Smokey: Big Worm ain't gonna do a goddamn thing, man. Craig Jones: All right...
Smokey's mom: Smokey, get me some cigarettes. Smokey: Well, give me some money. [Smokey's mom gives Smokey a dollar] Smokey: Wait, this isn't enough. Smokey's mom: Make it enough.
Smokey: I got mind control over Deebo. He be like "shut the f*** up." I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talking again.
[Smokey taking a crap outside] Smokey: You better not tell anybody man. Ezal: Man, I'm not, man. Smokey: Keep it on the down low. Ezal: Alright brother. Damn. Ezal: [Looks around and yells] Hey, Smokey back here taking a shit! Smokey: Ezal! Ezal: Well, I won't tell anybody else.
Smokey: Why you not goin' to work? Craig Jones: I got fired yesterday. Smokey: No shit? I thought you had the day off yesterday. Craig Jones: I did. I went in to pick up my check, came home, my supervisor called me about four o'clock, told me he got me on tape stealing boxes. Smokey: The f*** you stealing boxes for? What you trying to build, a clubhouse?
Ezal: Smoke, buy me a 40oz for my birthday. Smokey: Today your birthday? Ezal: What's today?
Deebo: Come on Smoke, Stanley left his window open. Smokey: I can't I'm on probation. Deebo: Stop being a bitch and come on.
Ezal: Smokey, you know I ain't the smartest man in the world, but, from back here it look like you're takin a shit.
Big Worm: Can't have shit I'm closed, Fat Boy. Boy: Then give me my money back. Big Worm: My money. Boy: Mama.
Dad: [on toilet] Boy, get your ass in here. I smelled your shit for... 22 years. Now you can smell mine for five minutes.
Pastor Clever: [at Smokey] Excuse me brother, what we call drugs at the 74th Street Baptist Church we call the sin of sin sins. Smokey: Well round here, between Normandie and Western, we call this here a little twenty twen twen... Craig Jones: Right... Smokey: N*****... Pastor Clever: Give me a little for my cataracts. Smokey: You didn't put in on this man.
Deebo: What's up, Stanley? [No response] Deebo: Well, f*** you, then, punk.
Red: [after having his necklace snatched by Deebo] Hey, man, why didn't y'all help me! Smokey: [slouching in his chair] Man, I'm high. Red: Man, that's f***ed up. If it was y'all, I would've helped y'all. Craig Jones: What about the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard? Red: [pause, thinks about it] Oh, that was different.
Smokey: [after breaking into Stanley's house] We got about two hundred dollars. Deebo: I got about two hundred dollars.
Craig Jones: Mom, loan me 200 dollars. Mrs. Jones: Craig, I wouldn't feel comfortable lending you money without a job. Craig Jones: If I had a job, I wouldn't need to borrow any money. Mrs. Jones: Exactly.
Rita: Ooooh, What's up? Smokey: Not a damn thannng!
So in closing, pretty much the entire movie had me rolling. The high point of ghetto comedy in the 90s for sure.
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404error
Mephisto
GO LEAFS GO
Posts: 719
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Post by 404error on Oct 23, 2007 23:17:50 GMT -5
Ghostbusters!
Dr. Peter Venkman: "We've been going about this all wrong, this Mr. Stay Puft's okay, he's a sailor, he's in New York, we get this guy laid we won't have any trouble."
Dr. Peter Venkman: All right, this chick is TOAST. Okay; sticks? Dr Ray Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: PULLED 'EM. Dr. Peter Venkman: Heat 'em up. Dr Ray Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: SMOKIN'. Dr. Peter Venkman: Bang 'em hard. Dr Ray Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: READY. Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.
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Post by Insomniac on Oct 23, 2007 23:23:35 GMT -5
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2007 23:26:53 GMT -5
Time Bandits:
Evil Genius: What sort of Supreme Being created such riffraff? Is this not the workings of a complete incompetent? Baxi Brazilia III: But He created you, Evil One. [Deadly pause] Evil Genius: What did you say? [Minions inch away from Baxi] Baxi Brazilia III: Well He created you, so He can't be totally... [Evil Genius blows Baxi to bits] Evil Genius: Never talk to me like that again! No one created me! I am Evil. Evil existed long before good. I made myself. I cannot be unmade. I am all powerful! [Polite applause from minions] Cartwright: But why if that's the case, are you unable to escape from this fortress? [Evil Genius waves his hand and obliterates Cartwright] Evil Genius: [Circumspect] That's a good question...Why have I let the Supreme Being keep me here in the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness? Robert: Because you... Evil Genius: Shut up, I'm speaking rhetorically. Robert: Oh, of course.
Evil Genius: God is not interested in technology... He knows nothing of the potential of the micro-chip or the silicon revolution. He's obsessed with making the grass grow and getting rainbows right... Look at what he spends his time on. 43 species of parrot! Nipples... for men! Robert: Slugs. Evil Genius: Slugs! HE created slugs! They can't hear. They can't speak. They can't operate machinery. Are we not in the hands of a lunatic?
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Post by casualobserver on Oct 24, 2007 0:00:33 GMT -5
Gotta go with the obvious:
"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERf***IN SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERf***IN PLANE!"
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