h
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 5,734
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Post by h on Sept 13, 2007 14:22:01 GMT -5
Heidenreich rape a 5yo boy in front of his father, a marine who is in wheelchair because he has lost his two legs in Irak. They show footage of Owen falling from the roof, with many replays. D Low botch a running powerbomb and kill a local jobber live. CM Punk confess he's a crack and steroid abuser. End of Raw. Maybe it's just me, but this doesn't sound like a very good show.
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Post by MVP = Ballin.222 on Sept 13, 2007 14:34:35 GMT -5
After a long emotional night filled with great matches and legends saying goodbye Vince walks to his limo, and BOOM!
A few seconds later we see Linda open up a shower door revealing Vince. He then says
"I had the craziest dream Linda, I was a billionare, an EVIL billionare. I screwed Bret, made wrestling cool, took out every other major wrestling promotion in the country, and then got blown up, for a second time...."
Linda "Aw, Vince that was all just a dream, just a dream." We fade to black.
Edit:haha basically beaten to it.
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Bobeddy
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Made a Terrible Mistake
Posts: 15,151
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Post by Bobeddy on Sept 13, 2007 14:39:49 GMT -5
This is my third 'Ted McGinley in a wrestling environment' reference in a week... I think I have a problem
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Post by plushtar on Sept 13, 2007 14:52:34 GMT -5
As the show begins, Vince needs to put out a hit on the members of that Congressional Committe. No wrestler accepts, although J.R. announces that the WWE has just signed New Jack. . . it writes itself and would create more controversy than the current steroid troubles.
Or before the show tranquilize Big Van Vader and New Jack and dump them in a random part of the arena. New Jack has to be placed around heavy objects. The fun will begin when these two wake up during Raw. Vince comes out and announces that he will do this every week and that by coming to see Raw, the audience has officially waived all responsibility on the WWE's part if they are maimed or killed.
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Cheeba
Don Corleone
Matt Striker for VP
Posts: 1,587
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Post by Cheeba on Sept 13, 2007 14:57:41 GMT -5
This is my third 'Ted McGinley in a wrestling environment' reference in a week... I think I have a problem LMAOOOOOoooooOOOOOO
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AriadosMan
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Your friendly neighborhood superhero
Posts: 15,620
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Post by AriadosMan on Sept 13, 2007 15:07:47 GMT -5
Vince McMahon announces the winner of the latest Diva Search and its...Big Daddy V!!! He celebrates with a full frontal.
JBL drags off Michael Cole to the back room to "have his way with him"
Kevin Thorn reveals he's really a vampire and has come to suck the audience's blood, but he's defeated by Paul Burchill dressed as Simon Belmont.
Mr. Kennedy walks out into the middle of arena unscheduled and reveals the entire storyline of how he was supposed to be bastard and EXACTLY WHY he didn't get the part, LIVE ON AIR.
Scott Hall appears out of nowhere and challenges Randy Orton to a contest; who can commit the most Wellness Policy infractions within 30 minutes.
Santino appears as Super Mario and beats up some random jobber in a Sonic costume with a plunger.
A trailer appears for WWE films' latest masterpiece: Brokeback Mountain 2! Starring Cade and Murdoch.
To close the show, John Cena overcomes the odds and defeats every single wrestler in the entire world in a 30 minute Ironman match.
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General Zod
Samurai Cop
KNEEL!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!
Posts: 2,163
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Post by General Zod on Sept 13, 2007 15:08:24 GMT -5
A talent agent sits in the center of the ring, at a desk, wearing a business suit, and chatting away on a cellphone. Suddenly, Mr. McMahon's music starts up, and he silly walks to the ring.
The agent stands up and asks "Can I help you?"
McMahon says "Boy, have I got an act for you! It sorta involves my whole family."
The talent agent stops him and says "Gee, you know, I don't really do family acts. I'm gonna have to pass..."
McMahon insists. "No, you don't understand! This is the single greatest act in showbusiness history!"
So the talent agent sits back down and says, "OK, McMahon. Break it down for me in language I can understand. Tell me what's so special about your act, and why I should book it."
"Quite frankly," Mr. McMahon bellows, "I'd rather just show you."
Here Comes the Moneeeeeey....(here we go)... Shane McMahon makes his way down to the ring.
The theme from Wrestlemania Past plays, and Linda walks to the ring.
All grown up plays, and Steph makes her way to the ring.
Finally, The Game comes to the ring, full entrance and all. All of them are nicely dressed, and Mr. McMahon introduces his family.
Then, some circus music hits the arena, and Vince gives the signal. Vince, Linda, and Steph all strip naked while Shane and HHH run under the ring real quick to change clothes. Steph gets on her knees and opens her mouth while Linda starts pissing on her face. Vince struts around them in a circle, masturbating himself with a goofy look on his face.
Soon, HHH and Shane re-emerge from the ring. Shane is dressed in fishnet stockings, high heels and crotchless panties. HHH is dressed up like Liberace. Trips and Shane enter the ring and football tackle Vince, laying him out flat on the mat. Trips holds his legs while Shane holds his arms, flat on the mat. Linda kneels down by Vince's head, and forces his mouth open with her fingers while Steph hoovers above him and takes a giant shit right in his mouth.
Suddenly, HHH lets go of Vince's legs, grabs Linda's face, and pushes it into Stephs ass, giving her a shit stain mask. Then, Trips proceeds to f*** Steph in the ass, still covered in shit, every once in a while pulling out to let Linda lick it clean.
Shane leans down and starts blowing Vince. The action cools down for a bit just before....
HORNSWAGGLE!!! yes, Hornswaggle, the newest McMahon comes in for a save. Hornswaggle and Shane take turns blowing Vince.
Vince gets tired of that, though, and flips Hornswaggle over, and yells out "I'll show you an Irish Shalallie, bitch!!" Vince plunges his genetic jackhammer into Hornswaggle's ass. Blood starts dripping down from poor 'Swaggle's punctured anus as he cries and pleas for help.
Suddenly, we hear "My name is FINLAY! And I LOVE to FIGHT!!"
Finlay makes his way to the ring to tag out Hornswaggle (who looks shot to hell at this point), Finlay drops his trunks and let's McMahon f*** him in the ass. Meanwhile, Shane has been force gagging himself with his own fingers, and proceeds to vomit all over Finlay's ass and his old man's cock.
Hornswaggle, not wanting to be left out of the action, runs over to Linda, still licking trips' cock clean after every plunge into Steph's burning ass cavity. Hornswaggle starts f***ing Linda McMahon from behind as she continues to taste her own daughter's shit.
Finally, HHH has had enough! He pulls out of Steph's ass and Linda's mouth, and perches himself over Shane, tips his head back, and cums inside Shane's mouth. Shane swallows the cum, and suddenly, gets that ill look to his face again.
McMahon, who has vomit all over his cock, and is still f***ing Finlay in the ass, looks at Shane and says "HE'S GONNA...HEE'S GOOONA PUU....HE'S GONNA PUKE!!!!"
Shane pukes projectile cum-vomit all over everyone in the ring. At that moment, McMahon cums inside Finlay's ass, and Finlay collapses in a heap of vomit, blood, cum and shit.
Steph and Linda get up, and go over to Vince, where they both start licking his cock and asshole (respectively), and Hornswaggle moves from Linda's ass to HHH's mouth. Shane starts licking up all of the assorted liquids in the ring, shit, piss, vomit, blood, cum, etc., until it's all cleaned up.
Then, Vince moves to the center of the ring. He takes a shit. Then, HHH takes a shit on that pile, and they put Hornswaggle in the middle of it all. Both HHH and Vince piss all over Hornswaggle, and then vomit on him. Linda and Steph do the same before calling over Shane, who's stomach is now full of every possible liquid that was spilled in the ring, and HE vomits all over Hornswaggle.
They put Finlay on top of the vomit/cum/shit/piss/blood pile and the 5 remaining McMahon's make a circle one right in front of the other, and fist each other's assholes until they all bleed.
At the very moment that the last asshole is bleeding, they all pull their fists out of each other, kneel before the desk, and say TA-DA!!!
The agent is speechless. Soon, he looks up at the rest of them and says to Vince "Boy, that's one hell of an act! Maybe I can book you afterall! What do you call yourselves??"
Vince looks at the agent and says "The Aristocrats!"
BAH GAWD, KANG!!! HORNSWAGGLE IS BROKEN IN HA-YUFF!!
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Post by plushtar on Sept 13, 2007 15:23:06 GMT -5
Yeah Zod! That ought to kill anything. Even the combined force of the Undertaker, Hulk Hogan, and Jason Voorhees couldn't make a comeback after that.
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King Rich
Samurai Cop
Just here for the fads.
Posts: 2,244
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Post by King Rich on Sept 13, 2007 15:23:58 GMT -5
My reply to this was gonna be a quote of the guy who mentioned "munging. look it up" and I was going to say "Wow, I didn't think I could be shocked any more but you have proved me wrong."
But now I will just say TWICE in one thread. My God.
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King Rich
Samurai Cop
Just here for the fads.
Posts: 2,244
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Post by King Rich on Sept 13, 2007 15:24:41 GMT -5
It was brilliant though.
Edit - OMG @ my post count. This is def my last post for today, even if I really want to.
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General Zod
Samurai Cop
KNEEL!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!
Posts: 2,163
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Post by General Zod on Sept 13, 2007 15:24:43 GMT -5
No. Zod. ;D
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Post by Stringer Bell on Sept 13, 2007 15:39:04 GMT -5
you don't need to book it, the creative deparment are booking it into the grave week in and week out!
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BorneAgain
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,295
Member is Online
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Post by BorneAgain on Sept 13, 2007 15:56:26 GMT -5
Vince comes out and announces to all three rosters that he's bought TNA and is expanding the WWE worldwide. Finally he will control all sports entertainment in the world. But Linda and Shane comes out and says that she's leaving Vince forever. All she wanted was love, but Vince never learned to love anything but himself. Shane himself says goodbye saying this business stole his childhood and chance at a regular life. He's becoming an executive for the UFC. Both leave the ring while Vince looks befuddled, but announces he's firing un-needed talent as he now has a true monoply. Davairi, Highlanders, Funaki, Nunzio Jim Duggan, the Majors, Chuck Palumbo, Jimmy Yang, Cody Rhodes, Dave Taylor, Jaime Knoble, Mike Knox, and Matt Striker are all shown being given their pink slips.
Throughout the night various other departures occur.
CM Punk (along with Maria) and Mickie James both announce that the WWE was their dream but has become a nightmare. Punk is going back to ROH (with Londrick in tow) and Mickie leaves for the Indys. Booker, Finlay, Flair, and Regal announce their retirement, with the WGTT signing up at Booker's PWA promotion. JBL says wrestling isn't his passion anymore and points out that he can make more money on the stock market. Rey Mysterio, Chavo Guerrero, and Vickie all state they can't stay in the company and look themselves in the mirror after what's been done to Eddie Guerrero's memory. The former is quickly replaced by Rey Mysterio Sr.'s actual son.
Taz is gone to open his own wrestling school with Dreamer, Super Crazy, Balls, Stevie. Joey Styles leaves with them stating he wants commentating to be fun again. Candice, Victoria, Jillian, and Beth are seen leaving for Japan, with one of them mentioning SHIMMER. Carlito explains he wants to be the big fish in a small pond and goes back to Puerto Rico. Val Venis goes on a long rant about never given oppurtunities and tells the WWE to kiss his ass. The Hardys make an address to the crowd about how they never reached the status they should have and that along with Gregory Helms and Shannon Moore, are restablishing OMEGA. Estrada leads Umaga out of the building saying they're going around the world and that everyone will bear witness to the Samoan Bulldozer.
John Cena is interviewed backstage, but says nothing and after staring at the world title, he eventually sighs, puts the belt down, takes off his merchandise, and drives away, never to be heard from again.
Both Austin and Rock are called up by Vince, but both refuse to respond or even acknowledge him, calling themselves Steve Williams, and Duane Johnson respectively.
Vince remains strong however and gathers the the compnay talent left, (HHH, HBK, Undertaker, Batista, Edge, Orton, Khali, Snitsky, Murdoch, Cade, Henry, Burke, Thorn, Boogeyman, Lashley, Kennedy, Cor Von, Morrison, MVP, Deuce, Domino, Marella, Holly, Hornswaggle, Miz, Krystal, Kelly, Leyla, Brooke, Torrie, Melina, Ashley, Cherry, and Maryse) along with non-talent (JR, Lawler, Cole, Roberts, Long, Coachman) declares that even in this incarnation, the WWE will live forever!
But then, a rumble is heard. From the back comes Verne Gagne, Eric Bischoff, Paul Heyman, and Jeff Jarrett. Vince demands to know why they are here, but no words are spoken. Instead from the back comes a huge range of past wrestlers, from WCW, TNA, ECW, and the AWA to storm the ring. Old and young, men and women, jobbers and main eventers, arrive and destroy the remaining WWE talent, except for Edge who sneaks away with a briefcase (presumably with his salary inside). Vince remains terrified, but no one attacks him. Instead after the assault Jarrett, Bischoff, Heyman, and Gagne get in the ring and confront him.
McMahon gets on his knees and begs, but the Jarret simply shakes his head. A desperate Stephanie with Aurora Rose pleads for mercy, but Heyman merely snatches the young child out of her arms. Bischoff announces that since Vince took their child (ie their company) they will take his grandchild as payment. Gagne assures Vince that they will take care of her, and if lucky she'll never become a McMahon in anyway. The four walk away while a hysterical Stephanie runs off.
A humilated and devastated Vince prays for help, but sees the ghost of his father instead. The elder McMahon looks at his son, and says only "You always were a disappointment" before disappearing. A federal officer then arrives and says Vince is being charged with various crimes. The second to last shot is merely of a catotonic Vince being led off in handcuffs.
God then arrives and stands in the center of the ring.
"What am I too late for Backlash?"
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Post by Hugh Mungus on Sept 13, 2007 15:58:06 GMT -5
Let's say that all the bad events that happened in the WWE are caused by the Scarlet Witch's reality-warping Chaos Magic. I'd like to use Superboy-Prime's RETCON-PUNCH~!, but it's passe to me.
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Post by JordynKaiyseee on Sept 13, 2007 16:43:11 GMT -5
the wwe is like jason x or something. necrophillia can't kill it. steroid trials can't kill it. terrorism can't kill it. racism can't kill it. attempted incest can't kill it. the sixty year old owner of the company, naked from the waist down, having his own son's head rubbed into his bare ass on the biggest show of the year can't kill it. and yet i'm supposed to do worse than this in one night. get the shovel, it's time for a munging angle. (look it up. actually... don't) That's disgusting...... BOOK IT!
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Tim
Dennis Stamp
myers.timothyTheTimMyers
Posts: 4,358
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Post by Tim on Sept 13, 2007 17:51:46 GMT -5
Every crime in the world committed in the first hour and a half, final half hour is an all champions belt where the winner wins every belt in the promotion and owns WWE. The end comes when a pig flies in the arena, John Cena notices, and Mickie James rolls him up to win every belt and officially win the WWE. That wouldn't kill it, that would be awesome! Book It!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2007 18:53:04 GMT -5
Every crime in the world committed in the first hour and a half, final half hour is an all champions belt where the winner wins every belt in the promotion and owns WWE. The end comes when a pig flies in the arena, John Cena notices, and Mickie James rolls him up to win every belt and officially win the WWE. That wouldn't kill it, that would be awesome! Book It! SEXY!!
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wwerules60
El Dandy
"Bring what? a vomit bag? a fig newton?"
Posts: 8,999
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Post by wwerules60 on Sept 13, 2007 19:25:58 GMT -5
The first ever Ex-Lax kiss my ass club.
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Post by uncleslam on Sept 13, 2007 19:27:55 GMT -5
The first ever Ex-Lax kiss my ass club. That would merely cause a short suspension of WWE programming. If you really wanted to END the promotion, it would have to be: Ex-Lax SUCK my ass club.
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r.
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Bye
Posts: 16,474
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Post by r. on Sept 13, 2007 19:35:26 GMT -5
the show starts with a family of five in the ring, the lights dim slowly to just a spotlight on them the father say's Tonight for 3 hours you will see the greatest act ever" the family then proceed to do a 3 hour live version of the aristocrats, fade to black.
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