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Post by Zero Orchestra on Jun 18, 2011 14:24:55 GMT -5
Well, a quick google took me to some South African parenting group that believe that even yelling at your kid will cause them to develop aversion to loud noises and that it can cause them psychological damage, so it would appear that all over the world people have different ideas about how to raise kids and what is fine and what isnt. I wonder -- what, if any, objective research did this South African parenting group take to demonstrate that "yelling" at your children can cause psychological damage? Certainly, screaming incessantly at your children probably won't help. Which is why you take different approaches and see which is the most effective (without resorting to physical harm, of course).
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Post by Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan on Jun 18, 2011 14:25:26 GMT -5
Some children need to be hit. I know you wont agree and find the concept abhorent, but as far as I am concerned smacking a kid to teach it a lesson isnt abuse. If you beat it, sure, but not a smack. Yup. Like I said earlier, my parents tried everything they could imagine to discipline me when I was a kid, but a spanking here and there was the only thing that worked. Some kids just aren't going to be affected by being sent to their room or having their stuff taken away. And if a swat to the bottom will stop little Jimmy from hitting people in the head with plastic vaccuum cleaners, especially if other forms of discipline aren't getting the job done, then parents need to swat away.
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Legion
Fry's dog Seymour
Amy Pond's #1 fan
Hail Hydra!
Posts: 22,981
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Post by Legion on Jun 18, 2011 14:29:54 GMT -5
Well, a quick google took me to some South African parenting group that believe that even yelling at your kid will cause them to develop aversion to loud noises and that it can cause them psychological damage, so it would appear that all over the world people have different ideas about how to raise kids and what is fine and what isnt. I wonder -- what, if any, objective research did this South African parenting group take to demonstrate that "yelling" at your children can cause psychological damage? Certainly, screaming incessantly at your children probably won't help. Which is why you take different approaches and see which is the most effective (without resorting to physical harm, of course). Yopu've ignored the question I thought I was making inherant in my point though; why is physical abuse any worse than emotional or psychological abuse, speaking clearly in terms of things that are happening every now and again. I'm not talking about regular beatings that are clearly going to have damaging and lasting effects, nor am I talking about throwing away a childs comfort blanket or some such so that they can never have it back. If the occassional smack of physical abuse is totally wrong and bad, then surely occassional psychological and/or emotional abuse is just as bad?
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Post by Zero Orchestra on Jun 18, 2011 14:30:37 GMT -5
Some children need to be hit. I know you wont agree and find the concept abhorent, but as far as I am concerned smacking a kid to teach it a lesson isnt abuse. If you beat it, sure, but not a smack. Yup. Like I said earlier, my parents tried everything they could imagine to discipline me when I was a kid, but a spanking here and there was the only thing that worked. Some kids just aren't going to be affected by being sent to their room or having their stuff taken away. And if a swat to the bottom will stop little Jimmy from hitting people in the head with plastic vaccuum cleaners, especially if other forms of discipline aren't getting the job done, then parents need to swat away. They can't swat away; the police will be sent around to your door by advocacy groups, remember?
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Post by Zero Orchestra on Jun 18, 2011 14:34:06 GMT -5
Yopu've ignored the question I thought I was making inherant in my point though; why is physical abuse any worse than emotional or psychological abuse, speaking clearly in terms of things that are happening every now and again. Because physical harm is easier to demonstrate and define than emotional or psychological abuse. Again, I'll reserve judgment until somebody can show me that taking away a Barbie or placing a child in time out will have lasting psychological damage. Well, abuse of any kind is bad, obviously. However, I don't think you'll find many in the field who would argue that disciplining a child by removing a toy from their possession until they have calmed down is psychological or emotional abuse.
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Post by Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan on Jun 18, 2011 14:37:46 GMT -5
Yup. Like I said earlier, my parents tried everything they could imagine to discipline me when I was a kid, but a spanking here and there was the only thing that worked. Some kids just aren't going to be affected by being sent to their room or having their stuff taken away. And if a swat to the bottom will stop little Jimmy from hitting people in the head with plastic vaccuum cleaners, especially if other forms of discipline aren't getting the job done, then parents need to swat away. They can't swat away; the police will be sent around to your door by advocacy groups, remember? You clearly didn't read one of my earlier posts that commented upon how most folk around here reacted to Rainbow House.
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Post by Zero Orchestra on Jun 18, 2011 14:40:12 GMT -5
They can't swat away; the police will be sent around to your door by advocacy groups, remember? You clearly didn't read one of my earlier posts that commented upon how most folk around here reacted to Rainbow House. I was mostly being playful, guy. I don't remember reading where you wrote about the reactions of your community though, sorry.
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Post by willywonka666 on Jun 19, 2011 7:35:03 GMT -5
spanking>counting to ten
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H-Fist
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,485
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Post by H-Fist on Jun 19, 2011 10:24:41 GMT -5
Well, a quick google took me to some South African parenting group that believe that even yelling at your kid will cause them to develop aversion to loud noises and that it can cause them psychological damage, so it would appear that all over the world people have different ideas about how to raise kids and what is fine and what isnt. But it is perhaps in interesting to note that you blanket term physical abuse as bad no matter what, but something like taking something away, which if a child is attached to that object (let's say a comfort blanket or teddy), will clearly cause them to be upset and thus is, blanket term speaking, emotional and psychological abuse, you dont seem as concerned about. Funny thing. I was spanked a couple times as a kid. Don't remember what for, but I remember anger behind it. Goes to show what I learned: dad/mom's frustration --> smack, not *insert activity* --> smack. But still to this day, if I'm over at my folks' place and my dad whistles to get my little sister's attention...holy shit, I feel that in my chest and the pit of my stomach. The emotional conditioning of that loud noise, wow. Again, it's the anger that comes through and sticks. Nothing else.
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Big L
Grimlock
Posts: 13,883
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Post by Big L on Jun 19, 2011 10:27:31 GMT -5
That is f***ing ridiculous. I know right! I mean what do you suppose to do when your child acts up? Make him/her sit in the corner? I mean come on!
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Blindkarevik
Grimlock
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Post by Blindkarevik on Jun 19, 2011 10:52:01 GMT -5
I honestly sit here and say, spanking is basically aversion therapy. They do something, you smack them, and they know not to do it anymore. Why can't you just sit and tell them what not to do? Well, because for the first few years of their life, kids don't understand jack shit of what you're saying. Plus, this is the age where they can be all-out bawling then two seconds later laughing like nothing happened. The downside to this is, if you have them sit in a corner, they'll forget why they're there pretty much immediately.. if you tell them what they did wrong, they won't even hear you... if you smack them, then they have a reminder for the next few minutes that what they just did is wrong.
I'll admit, I was a huge advocate of spanking when my son was first born up until the point where he was able to communicate. At this point, just simply sending him to his room is more of a punishment than spanking would be.. so I haven't felt the need to spank in years. However, things were not always this way... what's the upside? Now, out of all our friends with kids, he's the most well-behaved. He knows what he's allowed to do, what he's not allowed to do, and if anything gets out of line... he doesn't have to worry about being spanked, but he will have privileges taken away.
Granted, there are parents out there who spank for every little thing... or even create ways to torture their kids. There's no excuse for that, I'll agree. But to not even suggest that spanking is an option for anything just says that a person has either never raised a child, or is in the middle of raising a pretty damn entitled kid.
I'm sorry, but that's just my opinion based on the kids I've noticed who were spanked versus those who were not.
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Sinestro
Samurai Cop
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Post by Sinestro on Jun 19, 2011 14:07:55 GMT -5
When I was a kid being put in the corner or sent to my room made think of ways to not get caught while a couple of swats made think, never do that again.
And no offense but the idea that spankny is abuse is an incrdebily simplistic way to look at a situation.
But he'll I'm never having kids so this issue doesn't concern me on personally level outside of nebulous politic thought that I cannot discuss here.
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