agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
Doesn't Know Whose Ring It Is
Posts: 21,431
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Post by agent817 on Dec 22, 2013 0:43:35 GMT -5
I was 24 before I had a "real" job - I had done a few odd things through high school but nothing steady. After I graduated from college it was difficult to find work - I had a couple interviews, mostly no responses or polite letters of rejection, but no offers. I had a job for a week that I hated and was not qualified at all to do. Then I got what was at the time a seasonal job at a college bookstore, worked hard enough where it became permanent, and am still there. It's not much but it's mine, and I don't have to feel like I'm leeching off my parents. I'm looking for something better, but in the meantime I'm making money and getting experience. What does "real" job mean? Like a desk job or something?
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AFN: Judge Shred
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Wanted to change his doohicky.
Member of The Bluetista Buyers Club
Posts: 18,221
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Post by AFN: Judge Shred on Dec 22, 2013 0:45:46 GMT -5
I have plenty anxiety, can't afford meds, never had trouble finding work. Good on ya, man, I am happy for you. But your situation is not his, it is not mine, it is yours. And what works for you doesn't always work for others.
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Post by Piccolo on Dec 22, 2013 0:49:28 GMT -5
Yep. We've got a temp at work who only has a high school degree... they gave her a typing test, and when they found that she could type very quickly, they told her she should be in data entry and looked to place her in an appropriate position. Data entry seems like something that you could do even if you have legitimate social anxiety disorder.
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Post by Danimal on Dec 22, 2013 0:52:06 GMT -5
Do you have any degrees or certificates? No. Just a HS diploma. So you've managed to spend nine years essentially riding the couch and your family has been paying the bills the whole time? They never said or did anything to get you going? At 27 with no job history or post-HS education you are probably setting-off some alarms with potential employers. I'd try a temp agency. Would get some income going, establish some kind of job history, and hopefully restore some of your girlfriend's lost faith.
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Post by CuJ0 Will Keep Dancing on Dec 22, 2013 1:44:03 GMT -5
Lots of great suggestions in this thread, but I'll throw in my 2 cents…
Like people have already stated, temp agency or volunteer work are great places to start.
My comments are going to be geared toward lifestyle choices and possible things to consider while you continue your job search.
First, I would highly recommend looking into some self-development and goal setting material. Whether it's books, audio books, youtube videos, ect, there is a lot great stuff out there and I believe having an open mind towards it can greatly benefit your situation. Writing down long and short term goals gives you a documented idea of where you want to be in set amounts of time. This will help you make better decisions in your day to day life, consciously or unconsciously. If you're not already, I would recommend reading in general if you can't get into self-development stuff. You can try to negate your lack of work experience and post-secondary education with being a well read, articulate individual.
Second, I would suggest checking out your nearest Toastmasters club. This you will allow you to face your social anxiety head-on in a supportive environment, built for people to work on their public speaking and presentation skills. This is also a great way to network with interesting people who can help you later on down the road. You can never have too many connections and most people will respect you for being brave enough to even show up and talk even if you come off poorly. If there isn't a Toastmaster club that you can reach, I would make it a habit of going out and talking to one new person a day. Keep a journal of every interaction you have, regardless of it went well or didn't go so well, small chat or a long conversation, every little bit goes into developing your social skills which will be a major assist in future job interviews.
Third, I'm not sure if you have any hobbies or passions but I would ask yourself honestly what you enjoy doing the most in your spare time? Do have any talents? Start figuring out what your potential strengths are and areas you need work. Document all of this. When I was younger I always loved drawing, everyone would always tell me what how I was destined to be an artist. In high-school I kind of fell out of love with it because I thought there was no money in it. After high-school I worked odd jobs and was employed off and on for several years, partying often, but overall just really depressed. I knew that if I didn't find a way to make a living off of doing what I loved that I would be miserable like most people are about their life situation so I went to university to become a designer and illustrator. Well after three years of busting my ass, I graduated got an internship, after that got a part-time job, and now heading into a full-time position in something I'm actually passionate about. For me it was never about the money, it was about waking up in the morning looking forward to work and getting by doing it. I believe that if you're passionate enough about something you'll find a way to make a living off it.
Overall, I would say keep looking, take any opportunity given to you, and get a taste for what the work force has to offer but while this is going on keep making moves to better yourself and your situation in life. If you successful friends then look at what they did to become successful. If you don't research some successful people, read their interviews, read their biographies, look for things that made them successful. This process will not be easy, but you know what being comfortable breeds complacency, you should feel awkward and uncomfortable throughout this process because that's the feeling you get when your pushing your boundaries.
Sorry, if this is a little intense or a long read but this is a topic that really resonates with me. Maybe I've put to much thought into a simple job hunt but I would hope you consider my ideas, and best of luck on your job hunt.
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King Ghidorah
El Dandy
On Probation for Charges of two counts of Saxual Music.
How Absurd
Posts: 8,330
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Post by King Ghidorah on Dec 22, 2013 1:52:04 GMT -5
How did you get such entitlement in your predicament. I don't he this social anxiety thing either, when did making a living become a social barrier. You go there and work, no one thinking about you like that It doesn't matter what others think when you have social anxiety. It is that you can't stop thinking, you can't stop panicking, you feel closed in with no way out. Work can be pure f***ing hell for people with those issues. He's in Canada, get some free meds and work. the fact he wanted to hold off till the New year has nothing to do with social anxiety, that's laziness, procrastination. At this point you're set in your ways, if you don't get it in your 20's, you're not gonna get it. That's a decade Of not working, no post school education, no community service. Says he knows he needs a job but has fields of work he refuses to go into. That's not what someone who needs to find a job says.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2013 2:21:05 GMT -5
My sister has the social anxiety problem to the point where she's petrified of work, it really sucks. She's got it to the point where she's barely spoken to me for about 12 years, and we never had a fight or anything. She'll talk with my mom, and she loves our pets, anyone else freaks her out. So I get how it can be completely crippling.
But, you've got a girlfriend, so obviously you have the ability to relate to people and maintain a relationship. Dude, you graduated from high school presumably, you can get a fast-food job, or any shitty minimum wage thing. They suck, but just do it, and stay there for at least a year, you'll get little raises and stuff and make some friends, and most importantly you'll meet people that have it a lot tougher than you and you'll feel like a wuss for not being able to do more with your life, it can be very inspiring if you let it be.
If McDonalds doesn't hire you right away, go somewhere else. And you have to bother them, don't just turn in the app and wait. Apply online, go in the store, introduce yourself to the manager, explain your lack of work history (be HONEST they love that, it's all they really want), tell them you just need a chance and you'll work any time on any day. Then repeat that with every entry-level type business around your town. Put the work in, and someone will hire you in 2 months or less, I guarantee you.
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riseofsetian1981
King Koopa
"I met him fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left."
Posts: 10,323
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Post by riseofsetian1981 on Dec 22, 2013 2:52:51 GMT -5
I was 25 before I landed my first job. Of course, it wasn't as if I wasn't trying. Where I live the job market is exceptionally sad and the only way to gain any form of employment is connections. I applied at FYE, Taco Bell, Subway, GameStop, Shoneys, Staples, Kay's Jeweler's, and wasn't hearing anything back from employers.
It wasn't until one day in class a friend of mine who knew about my job situation just asked me "Hey, you looking for a job man? I can talk to my manager and see what happens." Had an interview that day, was hired that day, and have been at the job for six years. Like I said, the job market here in South Carolina is exceptionally sad, and most people who are working at certain jobs, they tend to stay there because of how bad it is and how hard it is to actually find employment these days.
I won't say this guy is being lazy or procrastinating, we tend to look at someone else's situation and make assumptions. However, what is simple for us may be extremely difficult for that person.
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mizerable
Fry's dog Seymour
You're the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest.
Posts: 23,475
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Post by mizerable on Dec 22, 2013 3:24:03 GMT -5
About 6 years ago, I also applied at an FYE. In fact, it was also during a drought period for me. I had recently moved (the second move in 2 years) and hadn't worked in over a year. What sucks the most about not working, is getting in the habit of not having a job. I almost consider it some form of depression, since I spent a lot of my time not doing anything and just sat around the house. But after my second move, it became apparent that I needed a job, so I could pay rent. I applied at many places. I would put the number to around 80, in roughly a little over a month. What really sucks is filling out applications so damn much. I f***ing hate it. If I was at my last job for at least 18 months...that should be the only job information you should need. Assholes. Anyways, FYE was the only place that called me back. And the reason they did, was that in my infinite wisdom, I checked that I had management experience. In all honesty...I didn't. I still tried to spin it so I did, but it didn't help my situation. It also didn't help that when they asked me about music and movies, I listed stuff that most people wouldn't ask about at their store. I should have given them an answer that a practical customer would want to hear. So I didn't get the job. Of course, they told me they'd let me know the next day. Well, they never called, and after 10 days, I called them. The lady who interviewed me answered, and in a cheery patronizing voice, said she went with someone else. The annoying thing was I ended up going in there a month later to buy a gift and the lady who obviously knew who I was, tried to talk to me about the item I was purchasing, basically talking down to me like I was a little kid. Oh well...jokes on them. They closed their doors 4 months later. And I ended up getting a modestly decent job at Papa John's, which truly did test my limits and gave me different field experience, and ended up making more money than I would have at FYE.
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Post by goodbyehorses on Dec 22, 2013 3:48:53 GMT -5
Scam the government.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2013 8:24:48 GMT -5
I was 24 before I had a "real" job - I had done a few odd things through high school but nothing steady. After I graduated from college it was difficult to find work - I had a couple interviews, mostly no responses or polite letters of rejection, but no offers. I had a job for a week that I hated and was not qualified at all to do. Then I got what was at the time a seasonal job at a college bookstore, worked hard enough where it became permanent, and am still there. It's not much but it's mine, and I don't have to feel like I'm leeching off my parents. I'm looking for something better, but in the meantime I'm making money and getting experience. What does "real" job mean? Like a desk job or something? I mean a steady position where I can say "Oh, I work at X." if someone asks where I work.
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Post by g1megatronfan on Dec 22, 2013 9:25:40 GMT -5
My advice would be to enroll in a college or technical school. A degree certainly doesn't = a job but it doesn't hurt to have a Bachelors/Associates or a technical diploma of some kind. What it does do is show employers that you are trainable and are worth a shot in hiring you. Get some training and if you can...get a part time job or volunteer while in school. That way you can build some references for when you graduate you will have that network of people who could possibly help you.
As someone who is looking for a good job...I can tell you it's tough out there. I have an Associates and Bachelors and it's hard as hell with all the competition in the job market. Go onto CareerBuilder and you'll see that about 95% of the jobs require at least an Associates before an employer will even consider you.
Find something you would like to study and pursue it.
Good luck!
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Dec 22, 2013 11:05:22 GMT -5
How did you get such entitlement in your predicament. I don't he this social anxiety thing either, when did making a living become a social barrier. You go there and work, no one thinking about you like that basically what I'm thnking. and don't take this the wrong way. I suffer from SEVERE anxiety, insomnia and clinical depression. but I still have a job. it's not much, and I'm looking for better, yeah, but I can still work, even with my issues. if your issues are so bad that you can't leave the house to get a job, you might be at the point where you should be seeking professional help.
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Dec 22, 2013 11:06:50 GMT -5
I was 24 before I had a "real" job - I had done a few odd things through high school but nothing steady. After I graduated from college it was difficult to find work - I had a couple interviews, mostly no responses or polite letters of rejection, but no offers. I had a job for a week that I hated and was not qualified at all to do. Then I got what was at the time a seasonal job at a college bookstore, worked hard enough where it became permanent, and am still there. It's not much but it's mine, and I don't have to feel like I'm leeching off my parents. I'm looking for something better, but in the meantime I'm making money and getting experience. What does "real" job mean? Like a desk job or something? not sure what the term means, myself. sometimes a dick at the grocery store will throw it at me. I guess they think I get paid in Monopoly money or something.
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Dec 22, 2013 11:11:03 GMT -5
It doesn't matter what others think when you have social anxiety. It is that you can't stop thinking, you can't stop panicking, you feel closed in with no way out. Work can be pure f***ing hell for people with those issues. He's in Canada, get some free meds and work. the fact he wanted to hold off till the New year has nothing to do with social anxiety, that's laziness, procrastination. At this point you're set in your ways, if you don't get it in your 20's, you're not gonna get it. That's a decade Of not working, no post school education, no community service. Says he knows he needs a job but has fields of work he refuses to go into. That's not what someone who needs to find a job says. meds aren't free. seeing the doctor is (as is surgery). I take pills for depression and it costs me about $60 every 3 months. mine are on the cheaper end. nothing to do with the thread, just correcting the misconceptions.
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Sam Punk
Hank Scorpio
Own Nothing, Be Happy
Posts: 6,317
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Post by Sam Punk on Dec 22, 2013 12:41:02 GMT -5
You could always try playing the lottery.
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Post by "I'm Batman..." on Dec 22, 2013 13:00:48 GMT -5
How do you get a girlfriend without a job?
I work my ass off, something must be wrong with me.
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BR329
King Koopa
Support the WWF
Posts: 11,477
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Post by BR329 on Dec 22, 2013 13:13:44 GMT -5
Not gonna lie as someone who's pretty much always had some sort of job(s)since I was 15 I'm kinda jealous that you managed to pull this shit off till you were 27.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2013 14:11:16 GMT -5
My situation isn't quite so bad, but I'm 22 years old and I've only worked for seven months of my life. I didn't get a job until I was 19, but got fired after six weeks because of my incompetence. I got another part-time job at 20, which lasted for six months until they stopped giving me hours and eventually let me go (both jobs were zero hour contracts, which if you know of them, absolutely suck). I won't go into details, but an incidence earlier this year involving college work really shook me up and made me reevaluate where my life was going. Next month I'm planning on applying for internships in the marketing and finance sector.
As for advice; you say you have just a high school degree? My best bet would be to get a blue collar job. People always look down on them, but what people don't know is that if you pick something in demand and become really good at it, like welding, plumbing or become a electrician you can earn plenty of money. Of course the work is physically demanding and depending on the industry, it can be unstable at times, but you don't need a college degree or years of experience to get started in it.
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Post by J is Thunder Justice on Dec 22, 2013 14:24:07 GMT -5
I'm 25, never had a job, and also have social anxiety. I'll admit my life has been very comfortable, so I haven't really been motivated to get better, but this year it finally hit me that I can't stay like this forever. Luckily, my dream job is to be an author, so I'm concentrating on that ![8-|](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/nerd.png)
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