Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2013 14:25:15 GMT -5
To make another point, I also think that OP's parents are partly to blame for the situation he's found himself in. I understand that ultimately, as an adult, he has to make his own decisions and take responsibility - but at the same time, how have his parents allowed him to go so long without a job? I always thought it was peculiar growing up that my parents NEVER gave me job advice, even when I asked them. Everything I know I've found out either from the internet or going to a careers service.
For some reason parents today seem to think that the schools will teach their kids everything they need to know - money management, how to write a CV, what to say in an interview etc. - but considering the falling standards in our education system and the push away from practical subjects, you simply can't do that. It's pure laziness from a generation of parents who still think that getting a job is as simple as walking into an office and shaking the manager's hand.
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unc40
Dennis Stamp
Posts: 3,639
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Post by unc40 on Dec 22, 2013 14:55:45 GMT -5
Have you tried looking at jobs in national parks. They have entry level jobs and although you won't make much money you will at least get experience and have something to put on your resume.
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Post by Shy Guy on Dec 22, 2013 18:30:33 GMT -5
i know finding a job can be tough. i was unemployed for most of 2012. but, turning 27 next year, and also living in canada, the only advice i have for you right now:
retail.
everyone i've ever worked with in retail have had little to no job experience. everyone i work with now has some sort of anxiety, and we have to talk to the public everyday. apply for jobs at the nearest mall or something.
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DZ: WF Legacy
King Koopa
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Post by DZ: WF Legacy on Dec 22, 2013 21:08:46 GMT -5
You are not alone despite that you may be unable to relate with people in your real life with this. Know that at all times. I'll share something with you to understand the context of my advice.
I met up with a girl I hadn't seen since grade school awhile back. She was funny, cute, intelligent, witty, and she liked a lot of the same kind of stuff that I do; truly wonderful and rare in every way. It was the first time we met in 16-some years - we were good friends in and out of school in 3rd/4th grade before she abruptly moved away. I never thought I'd see her again, and it bugged me enough to want to find her again later in life. What I found was that we were just as compatible now as we were back then. I was on the whole day, she was on the whole day, and it was clear we both liked each other. The one problem was that she was taken already, lived quite a drive away, and that she had her life totally together. She was in school, worked a decent full-time job, and co-owned her own house with a nicely sized yard. It was so intimidating to me, and I knew that I'd never land a girl that awesome without bringing more to the table. It really screwed me up for a number of weeks.
That's when I learned this valuable lesson that I want to share with you: you need to find a reason to live. Whether it's for your girlfriend, whom I assume you don't want to lose, or it's to be proficient at something, or it's to one day start a family, or it's just to help someone else. You need to find your purpose. You need a driving force that makes you do all the uncomfortable shit that most people just do normally, that's an internal struggle for someone like you or I.
You need to trick yourself into doing things you don't want to do. Whenever I leave my home, I have to do this. I have to not over-think or over-analyze a situation, because that triggers my avoidance. For example, I absolutely hate driving new places/far distances, so I don't do it unless I have to. How do you solve that? You find reasons - real reasons - to do it. Catching up with an old friend, going somewhere different to eat, whatever it may be. You have to find reasons why that override your brain asking you, "why bother?" That's integral in getting up and taking on the world.
I want to do graphic design professionally opposed to just self-taught freelance. I want to be self-reliant in this field. I want to make things that impress people while expressing myself. I'm not into fine art, but more so logo design and layout design and post-production stuff. I'm telling you this pointless information (lol) because I've specifically targeted something that I wanted to do. Now that I've done that, how do I get there? Well, I have to attend college to further my skills. How do I attend college? I have to hop my happy ass into a car and drive somewhere I'm unfamiliar with. I have to ween myself into the idea. I have to tell my mind to shut up and stop over-thinking everything and everyone.
Do you see what I just did? I provided a logical leveling system in order to communicate with myself internally on how to achieve this. I broke it down into steps without thinking, "oh god, now I'm going to be overwhelmed with school work, oh my god, now I have to meet tons of strangers who are probably younger than I am, oh my god, I'm still 15 pounds away from my weight goal...". Despite these things coming to mind, I'm not dwelling on them.
That's how you overcome social & general anxiety. You find out how to momentarily silence it, since it can never be fully beaten. If you don't want to work right away, consider an interest in school and explore what that entails. It's not hard to get into community colleges, and it's a nice alternative that gives you some sort of direction in your life. You'll feel awesome about yourself if you have something important you need to do. And as you're doing this, maybe you'll be motivated to find some part-time work. Do it one step at a time. Or, you could just decide to bypass school and jump straight into the working field. Nothing wrong with an honest day's work. Prepare yourself and provide some sort of reason as to why you haven't worked yet. It can be an exaggerated truth...it doesn't really matter.
The summary of all this is to find your purpose. You matter to somebody, and if you don't, you could matter to somebody. You just have to matter to yourself, first.
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trollrogue
Hank Scorpio
Nashville City of Music!!
Posts: 5,609
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Post by trollrogue on Dec 23, 2013 1:40:42 GMT -5
Enlist in the military. Seriously. Not at 27 bro. Way too old. You can try to see if anybody will give you an interview since you have no other work experience (which actually does make you more desirable to the military go fig). But don't be offended if they ask you to pass on the application to your younger brother instead. My advice-- you said family were helping you out, so they must have jobs. Ask them to hook you up with one. A lot of people start their careers because they 'knew' someone that hired them on, and whatnot. Today's job market is a crazy tough nut to crack, and I've been in the workforce since I was 15 (I lied on my Target application they hire 16+) and have had dozens of different jobs until now (I turned 32 two days ago, on the Winter Solstice-- still employed spankyouveddymuch but this is job #25 lol and I've got a B.A. from a University that completely doesn't help me out with work at all). My dad (former marine corps) told me to immediately enlist after I graduated, and I wish to hell that I listened to him. College grads will only need to give the armed forces like 5-10 years, and they will immediately be Officers after passing basic training (instead of starting at the bottom rank and working up from grunt). In case you didn't know, officers get bank-- and crazy benefits after retirement ask any veteran. So going from my anecdotal experience-- try military if you know a recruiter personally or something. Try getting into the family business since they are probably just as invested in you getting off your bum and working as you are, and will be able to open doors for you. And mostly just stick with a job that pays but always be on the lookout for something better, never want to quit a job you hate before you've found something else that pays the rent-- remember nobody is really supposed to enjoy going to work (and I hate anybody who is lucky enough to love their job, you flippin jackpots!)
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Post by DoubleDare on Dec 23, 2013 6:16:26 GMT -5
Apply to your supermarkets to be a bagger, then once your there a couple months ask to get trained in other areas like cashier and stuff.
Also movie theater was my first job (at 18), so you could try that too,
The only problem is I dont know if anyones lookin to hire in January.
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Dec 23, 2013 10:04:40 GMT -5
To make another point, I also think that OP's parents are partly to blame for the situation he's found himself in. I understand that ultimately, as an adult, he has to make his own decisions and take responsibility - but at the same time, how have his parents allowed him to go so long without a job? I always thought it was peculiar growing up that my parents NEVER gave me job advice, even when I asked them. Everything I know I've found out either from the internet or going to a careers service. For some reason parents today seem to think that the schools will teach their kids everything they need to know - money management, how to write a CV, what to say in an interview etc. - but considering the falling standards in our education system and the push away from practical subjects, you simply can't do that. It's pure laziness from a generation of parents who still think that getting a job is as simple as walking into an office and shaking the manager's hand. which goes hand-in-hand with "I'm better than you because you work in the service industry" and "I'm too good for this job" attitudes. I remember last year my boss hired a girl to work checkout only to get a call from the girl's mother on what was supposed to be her first shift telling her "so-and-so doesn't want your job, she deserves better than that". as an HR guy I can tell you I'm immediately skeptical of anyone applying for a job with me who doesn't at least have some experience working in the service industry during their formative years.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2013 10:13:43 GMT -5
Fake advice: start panhandling.
Real Advice: Temp services will find you work most of the time. It won't be the most glamourous job, but if you're employable at all they'll try to get you going cause its their bread and butter.
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domrep
Hank Scorpio
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Post by domrep on Dec 23, 2013 10:50:16 GMT -5
I am in total agreement with one of the posters who said that you need some sort of motivation or kick in the pants to make you get up and get a job. I was 22, living with my folks, just graduated college. This was 6 years ago, FYI. I went to the Dominican Republic with my family for about 2 months. I had this grand idea in the back of my head, "yeah I'll take two months off like a baller and get a job in a few weeks, no problem." Nope, I was unemployed for about 6 months. Whatever money I had saved up was going to my phone bill. The thing that got me off the couch was when I wanted to get something for my mom, and had a negative balance in the bank. I couldn't afford something for my own mom, if I didn't have any motivation before, I certainly had some now.
So I called a temp agency that Monday. I did jobs that lasted a day, or a couple of weeks. I got a temp job for 3 months, with the idea that if I performed well enough, I could stay on with this company full time and leave the temp agency. I got the job, and have been at this company since February 2008. Since then, I've moved out of my parents house, bought my own condo, met the girl of my dreams, and on top of all that, making between 60-65K a year.
At this point you're 27 with no job experience. Start with a temp agency, see what you're good at, and go from there. Start small, it's not too late. If you don't want to do this for yourself, do it for your girlfriend b/c the last thing she wants is a deadbeat for a boyfriend. If the relationship progresses where you're talking about marriage and kids, you really think she wants to raise a family with a guy that doesn't have a job?
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SOR
Unicron
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Post by SOR on Dec 23, 2013 10:57:56 GMT -5
I think some of you are being a bit harsh on the OP. Lots of great advice though which is promising.
I can kind of relate to you OP. I ran a business from 18-20 but I sold the assets and quit because of the long hours and minimal pay off. From 20-21 I couldn't find work. I tried fast food, desk jobs and I couldn't find work because of my location. I live in a city which is basically a strip of business' and that's it. No jobs come around in the entry level position so I decided after about 6 months of looking to join the Military.
I passed their written examination with flying colours, passed the medical and trained my ass off and even got recommended. I was going in, had a fitness test date and everything but one night I was jogging through the street and I did something to my calf muscle. Relatively minor injury but a Doctor examined it and sent my results back to the recruitment office and they told me to come back in 6 months because they didn't want to risk it.
From there I've gone into acting and taken any other job that has gone my way. Acting can pay the bills for me (I tend to get a lot of work) but when that acting work slows down I will go and join a marketing agency for a few months or something. They will always take you on a sales rep and you can sometimes make 400-500 a week plus commission which is pretty sweet.
Ultimately what you should have done is back in September or October you should have applied for all your local retail stores. They'd have been hiring for the Christmas season and probably would not of cared that you had no prior work experience.
Also, What some people seem to be forgetting is that this guy has social anxiety so he probably doesn't have a lot of friends who can vouch for him and say he's a good guy. It's a lot harder to get a job without a valid reference then it is when you have 10 people willing to vouch for you.
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domrep
Hank Scorpio
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Post by domrep on Dec 23, 2013 11:00:34 GMT -5
I think some of you are being a bit harsh on the OP. Lots of great advice though which is promising. I can kind of relate to you OP. I ran a business from 18-20 but I sold the assets and quit because of the long hours and minimal pay off. From 20-21 I couldn't find work. I tried fast food, desk jobs and I couldn't find work because of my location. I live in a city which is basically a strip of business' and that's it. No jobs come around in the entry level position so I decided after about 6 months of looking to join the Military. I passed their written examination with flying colours, passed the medical and trained my ass off and even got recommended. I was going in, had a fitness test date and everything but one night I was jogging through the street and I did something to my calf muscle. Relatively minor injury but a Doctor examined it and sent my results back to the recruitment office and they told me to come back in 6 months because they didn't want to risk it. From there I've gone into acting and taken any other job that has gone my way. Acting can pay the bills for me (I tend to get a lot of work) but when that acting work slows down I will go and join a marketing agency for a few months or something. They will always take you on a sales rep and you can sometimes make 400-500 a week plus commission which is pretty sweet. Ultimately what you should have done is back in September or October you should have applied for all your local retail stores. They'd have been hiring for the Christmas season and probably would not of cared that you had no prior work experience. Also, What some people seem to be forgetting is that this guy has social anxiety so he probably doesn't have a lot of friends who can vouch for him and say he's a good guy. It's a lot harder to get a job without a valid reference then it is when you have 10 people willing to vouch for you. I don't think it's being harsh. OP sounds like he has the motivation to get a job but doesn't want to do all the work/effort it takes to getting one, and to outright dismiss a job at McDonald's, even when he has never had a job seems like he's owed something. Everyone starts somewhere.
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SOR
Unicron
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Post by SOR on Dec 23, 2013 11:15:13 GMT -5
I think some of you are being a bit harsh on the OP. Lots of great advice though which is promising. I can kind of relate to you OP. I ran a business from 18-20 but I sold the assets and quit because of the long hours and minimal pay off. From 20-21 I couldn't find work. I tried fast food, desk jobs and I couldn't find work because of my location. I live in a city which is basically a strip of business' and that's it. No jobs come around in the entry level position so I decided after about 6 months of looking to join the Military. I passed their written examination with flying colours, passed the medical and trained my ass off and even got recommended. I was going in, had a fitness test date and everything but one night I was jogging through the street and I did something to my calf muscle. Relatively minor injury but a Doctor examined it and sent my results back to the recruitment office and they told me to come back in 6 months because they didn't want to risk it. From there I've gone into acting and taken any other job that has gone my way. Acting can pay the bills for me (I tend to get a lot of work) but when that acting work slows down I will go and join a marketing agency for a few months or something. They will always take you on a sales rep and you can sometimes make 400-500 a week plus commission which is pretty sweet. Ultimately what you should have done is back in September or October you should have applied for all your local retail stores. They'd have been hiring for the Christmas season and probably would not of cared that you had no prior work experience. Also, What some people seem to be forgetting is that this guy has social anxiety so he probably doesn't have a lot of friends who can vouch for him and say he's a good guy. It's a lot harder to get a job without a valid reference then it is when you have 10 people willing to vouch for you. I don't think it's being harsh. OP sounds like he has the motivation to get a job but doesn't want to do all the work/effort it takes to getting one, and to outright dismiss a job at McDonald's, even when he has never had a job seems like he's owed something. Everyone starts somewhere. I kind of understand the McDonalds thing though, at least early on in life. When I started in the work force (At 18) I wanted to avoid the fast food industry entirely. Not because I felt I was above it but because it's very hard work for minimum wage. I understand OP wanting to avoid that in his early 20's. He should have been working though. At this point he should be open for working at McDonalds.
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Post by RedSmile on Dec 23, 2013 11:17:02 GMT -5
Enlist in the military. Seriously. Not at 27 bro. Way too old. You can try to see if anybody will give you an interview since you have no other work experience (which actually does make you more desirable to the military go fig). But don't be offended if they ask you to pass on the application to your younger brother instead. My advice-- you said family were helping you out, so they must have jobs. Ask them to hook you up with one. A lot of people start their careers because they 'knew' someone that hired them on, and whatnot. Today's job market is a crazy tough nut to crack, and I've been in the workforce since I was 15 (I lied on my Target application they hire 16+) and have had dozens of different jobs until now (I turned 32 two days ago, on the Winter Solstice-- still employed spankyouveddymuch but this is job #25 lol and I've got a B.A. from a University that completely doesn't help me out with work at all). My dad (former marine corps) told me to immediately enlist after I graduated, and I wish to hell that I listened to him. College grads will only need to give the armed forces like 5-10 years, and they will immediately be Officers after passing basic training (instead of starting at the bottom rank and working up from grunt). In case you didn't know, officers get bank-- and crazy benefits after retirement ask any veteran. So going from my anecdotal experience-- try military if you know a recruiter personally or something. Try getting into the family business since they are probably just as invested in you getting off your bum and working as you are, and will be able to open doors for you. And mostly just stick with a job that pays but always be on the lookout for something better, never want to quit a job you hate before you've found something else that pays the rent-- remember nobody is really supposed to enjoy going to work (and I hate anybody who is lucky enough to love their job, you flippin jackpots!) Not true. I went through basic training with guys in their 30's.
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Post by Piccolo on Dec 23, 2013 11:47:44 GMT -5
To make another point, I also think that OP's parents are partly to blame for the situation he's found himself in. I understand that ultimately, as an adult, he has to make his own decisions and take responsibility - but at the same time, how have his parents allowed him to go so long without a job? I always thought it was peculiar growing up that my parents NEVER gave me job advice, even when I asked them. Everything I know I've found out either from the internet or going to a careers service. For some reason parents today seem to think that the schools will teach their kids everything they need to know - money management, how to write a CV, what to say in an interview etc. - but considering the falling standards in our education system and the push away from practical subjects, you simply can't do that. It's pure laziness from a generation of parents who still think that getting a job is as simple as walking into an office and shaking the manager's hand. Partially, probably. Then again, I have good intentions about raising my children right, but God help me if I ever end up with one who's just intrinsically lazy and nothing I try motivates him/her, because it's a fact of life that very few parents are going to let a young person's laziness reach its logical conclusion (homelessness, no food to eat, etc). They're always going to provide a safety net because lazy offspring is better than dead offspring, and there are some people who really do take horrible advantage of that love.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2013 12:06:49 GMT -5
To make another point, I also think that OP's parents are partly to blame for the situation he's found himself in. I understand that ultimately, as an adult, he has to make his own decisions and take responsibility - but at the same time, how have his parents allowed him to go so long without a job? I always thought it was peculiar growing up that my parents NEVER gave me job advice, even when I asked them. Everything I know I've found out either from the internet or going to a careers service. For some reason parents today seem to think that the schools will teach their kids everything they need to know - money management, how to write a CV, what to say in an interview etc. - but considering the falling standards in our education system and the push away from practical subjects, you simply can't do that. It's pure laziness from a generation of parents who still think that getting a job is as simple as walking into an office and shaking the manager's hand. Partially, probably. Then again, I have good intentions about raising my children right, but God help me if I ever end up with one who's just intrinsically lazy and nothing I try motivates him/her, because it's a fact of life that very few parents are going to let a young person's laziness reach its logical conclusion (homelessness, no food to eat, etc). They're always going to provide a safety net because lazy offspring is better than dead offspring, and there are some people who really do take horrible advantage of that love. I understand that logic, but at the same time I think parents need to be tougher on their children. If you allow them to simply live off of you until they're in their 20's, then it creates a culture where the kid has no motivation to go outside and get a job, and he has no concept of how the real world works. I know this from first hand experience. I remember when I was 15/16 I wanted to get a job as a paperboy, just a small job before school which would earn me a little income, and my parents constantly discouraged me from going for it because they were afraid it would interfere with my school work. Fair enough. Then I got to 17 and started applying to various jobs in my area; shoe shops, Starbucks, retailers etc. and again my parents discouraged me for the same reason. That's where it got annoying. So when I eventually got my first job at 19, I was clueless. I constantly arrived late, I was distracted, I had no idea how to interact with my fellow employees or how to do the most basic of tasks. I was fired after six weeks. The culture that my parents created for me at home where they literally did everything for me (preparing my meals, making my bed, doing the laundry) were done with good intentions, but ultimately it damaged me because I became complacent, lazy and anti-social. It's only now at 22 that I'm starting to get over this and become independent. A lazy child is better than a starving child, but lazy children will fail at life unless someone kicks them in the rear.
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khali
Dennis Stamp
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Post by khali on Dec 23, 2013 12:11:15 GMT -5
I understand the social anxiety thing since that was a major problem for me at times. But, at least in my case, the only way it got better was facing it and getting a job out of my comfort zone. Otherwise I would have kept making it all worse in my mind. Avoiding these problems won't solve them.
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Post by Piccolo on Dec 23, 2013 12:11:25 GMT -5
I definitely agree with that, Burngun, and it really depends on the parents. My parents were completely fine with me taking a part-time job at 16 (started out as a grocery clerk, moved over to a discount department store when the grocery store shut down), and when I came home from college in the summer, I was lucky that my high school employer was willing to give me substantial hours for those weeks I was back. It would've been annoying as heck if my folks had actively tried to keep me from employment.
So if that's what his parents have done, then yeah, some of this is on them. It probably varies from family to family.
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Dec 23, 2013 14:50:07 GMT -5
Not at 27 bro. Way too old. You can try to see if anybody will give you an interview since you have no other work experience (which actually does make you more desirable to the military go fig). But don't be offended if they ask you to pass on the application to your younger brother instead. My advice-- you said family were helping you out, so they must have jobs. Ask them to hook you up with one. A lot of people start their careers because they 'knew' someone that hired them on, and whatnot. Today's job market is a crazy tough nut to crack, and I've been in the workforce since I was 15 (I lied on my Target application they hire 16+) and have had dozens of different jobs until now (I turned 32 two days ago, on the Winter Solstice-- still employed spankyouveddymuch but this is job #25 lol and I've got a B.A. from a University that completely doesn't help me out with work at all). My dad (former marine corps) told me to immediately enlist after I graduated, and I wish to hell that I listened to him. College grads will only need to give the armed forces like 5-10 years, and they will immediately be Officers after passing basic training (instead of starting at the bottom rank and working up from grunt). In case you didn't know, officers get bank-- and crazy benefits after retirement ask any veteran. So going from my anecdotal experience-- try military if you know a recruiter personally or something. Try getting into the family business since they are probably just as invested in you getting off your bum and working as you are, and will be able to open doors for you. And mostly just stick with a job that pays but always be on the lookout for something better, never want to quit a job you hate before you've found something else that pays the rent-- remember nobody is really supposed to enjoy going to work (and I hate anybody who is lucky enough to love their job, you flippin jackpots!) Not true. I went through basic training with guys in their 30's. hell, my uncle re-enlisted in his forties. mind, he had a history of like 15 years in the military before that, and they fast-tracked him back to Seargent super-fast and he's about to take his Warrant Officer quiz and get his old rank back, and it only took him like 3 years to get to that point.
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Post by Red Impact on Dec 23, 2013 15:49:52 GMT -5
Enlist in the military. Seriously. Not at 27 bro. Way too old. He probably won't get into the marines (Max enlistment age is 28) or Coast Guard (27) but you can join active duty army until your 40's, and navy until your 30's. He'll have to deal with officers who are younger than him trying to tell him what to do (my brother is an officer in the air force, he's had older enlisted people try to talk down to him, it didn't go well for them), but's it not too old at that point. In fact, they recently upped the enlistment age due to need. Military probably won't be pleasant if he has some significant social anxiety problems though. I kind of understand the McDonalds thing though, at least early on in life. When I started in the work force (At 18) I wanted to avoid the fast food industry entirely. Not because I felt I was above it but because it's very hard work for minimum wage. I understand OP wanting to avoid that in his early 20's. He should have been working though. At this point he should be open for working at McDonalds. If you have other options and opt not to work fast food, then all the power to you. It's a first job, pick what suits you best. If your choices are not work or work fast food, and you opt for not working, then you deserve to be chewed out. No one, when just starting out, should feel any job is beneath them. And yeah, it's tough to work for minimum wage. I've done it, but that's why it's a first job, it's there so you learn how to work. Your first job isn't going to be high paying unless you have some really good connections, but it helps avoid situations like the OP's, where now employers probably aren't looking very hard at him because he has no work history at his age.
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Blindkarevik
Grimlock
Rock... Paper... Straight-edge!
I Like To <blank>
Posts: 14,343
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Post by Blindkarevik on Dec 23, 2013 18:56:12 GMT -5
It may be unpopular, but my opinion is social anxiety is not a reason or an excuse, it is an obstacle that must be overcome. I have plenty, myself.... but when it comes down to it, when I don't do something I should have done... it's because I f***ed up. Not because I have a disorder, not because of anxiety, not because of any sort of mental issue.... whether I have a tendency towards it or not, doesn't matter. Plain and simple, I f***ed up.
Not saying the OP falls into this, but I get tired of people who are diagnosed with anxiety or something to the like then sit back and use it as an all-encompassing reason why the world needs to cut them some slack and deal with them. It turns into "I can be an asshole because of my disease, and if you have any problems with that, you're intolerant." ... no, I am of the opinion that the job of someone with a mental issue is to do everything they can to limit the damage to others and contribute to society as much and as normally as possible. Good days, bad days, that's par for the course... they'll happen and some will be more debilitating than others, but the job is to pull yourself up as soon as possible and get back out there.
Granted, this may be an "easy for you to say" thing since mine isn't as bad as I think it is, and there are some people whose minds are SO f***ed up that they are beyond useless through no fault of their own. But, for too many, it seems to become an easy excuse to allow them to coast through lives doing whatever or however little they want and blame it on their issues then feel justified when they complain that nobody is helping them the way they feel they deserve to be helped. Like I say, social anxiety aside.... if I miss a deadline, if I screw up, if something happens because I was too afraid to put myself out there.... bottom line I.... f***ED... UP. Not my issue, not lack of help, not even lack of motivation... all reasons and excuses go out the window. I screwed up because I screwed up.
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