King Ghidorah
El Dandy
On Probation for Charges of two counts of Saxual Music.
How Absurd
Posts: 8,330
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Post by King Ghidorah on Jan 26, 2012 18:07:09 GMT -5
Ugh, it's much easier to just tell people you wanna have sex with them up front, that way you know where you stand from the start! Get friendzoned then have to hear about the dude she's blowing, no thank you. I can talk about that stuff with my female friends, but why put yourself through that if you actually like the chick.
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Jan 26, 2012 18:11:20 GMT -5
In general, if you're 'in the friend zone' it's a result of your own actions. Guys will act like they had no bearing at all on a woman's feelings going from potentially romantic to just friends, or worse they'll try and dupe her into thinking they're a friend will pining away unrequited and act like that's somehow her fault.
If you want to be her friend, then be her friend with no ulterior motives; but then don't beat yourself up and resent her if you're harboring romantic feelings hoping she'll somehow 'see the light'.
People treat you how you allow 'em to do so.
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Post by AztecaDragon on Jan 26, 2012 18:14:04 GMT -5
Honestly, complaining about "the friend zone" makes you sound like an entitled wretch even if you swear up and down you don't intend to sound that way.
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Post by rapidfire187 on Jan 26, 2012 18:15:26 GMT -5
If by "friend zone" you mean "am only being nice and friendly to this person because I want to get in their pants and am being dishonest about my motives with the friendship and think that women must reward me with a relationship if I'm nice to them" then no, I think being rejected is worse. And I disagree that the women has any blame. Because just because you think your "gestures" are obvious, the woman might just think you're, y'know, friends. That's a harsh way to put it, though I generally agree with what you're saying. But I'm fairly certain that he's talking about situations where nobody is being a douchebag.
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Post by Mighty Attack Tribble on Jan 26, 2012 18:16:35 GMT -5
Worst thing about ending up in the friend zone is when she starts confiding in you about the guy she's seeing. In the space of 18 months my ex has gone from planning us moving in together, to needing time apart, to not wanting me to be part of her life any more, to confiding in me about the girl she's seeing. I'm still not sure about what hurts more - being dumped for a woman, or being friend-zoned.
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Jan 26, 2012 18:24:24 GMT -5
Worst thing about ending up in the friend zone is when she starts confiding in you about the guy she's seeing. In the space of 18 months my ex has gone from planning us moving in together, to needing time apart, to not wanting me to be part of her life any more, to confiding in me about the girl she's seeing. I'm still not sure about what hurts more - being dumped for a woman, or being friend-zoned. While being dumped is awful, and I'm sorry about that; if it's hurting you that she's confiding in you and stuff, there's really nowhere is it written that you have to listen right? Just saying do what it takes to preserve your own peace of mind and happiness.
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Post by HMARK Center on Jan 26, 2012 18:32:12 GMT -5
If by "friend zone" you mean "am only being nice and friendly to this person because I want to get in their pants and am being dishonest about my motives with the friendship and think that women must reward me with a relationship if I'm nice to them" then no, I think being rejected is worse. And I disagree that the women has any blame. Because just because you think your "gestures" are obvious, the woman might just think you're, y'know, friends. There are certainly cases where the woman is being misled, but there are also plenty of cases where the woman knows what's going on but opts to avoid confrontation over it, or in worse (and thankfully fewer) cases opts to milk the situation for her own benefit. Obviously the man who puts himself in the situation bears the brunt of the blame, and again there are plenty of times when the woman is genuinely being misled or simply doesn't recognize what the guy is doing...it's why the blame must be shouldered mostly by the guy. But there's certainly plenty of times when the behavior is allowed to continue and fester because the other party simply won't say what's what.
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Post by Mighty Attack Tribble on Jan 26, 2012 18:34:49 GMT -5
While being dumped is awful, and I'm sorry about that; if it's hurting you that she's confiding in you and stuff, there's really nowhere is it written that you have to listen right? Just saying do what it takes to preserve your own peace of mind and happiness. Sadly, being in the friend zone is probably the thing that's closest to achieving that goal. I think it's as much pride and ego taking a beating than anything else. I'm a notoriously slow healer when it comes to relationships.
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Post by Piccolo on Jan 26, 2012 18:37:44 GMT -5
Yeah, I guess my advice to anyone in general is, don't end up in the friendzone when you can't hack it. If you can't accept that someone doesn't want to sleep with you, stop talking to them. If you can handle it and still be friends, good for you; much healthier. But don't wait around hoping to catch the uninterested party in a weak moment when they're drunk, lonely, unhappy, whatever, just so you can say you had sex with them. It's gross, and all you're going to end up being is a bad memory.
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Post by Hit Girl on Jan 26, 2012 18:41:23 GMT -5
The friendzone can quickly become the sexzone
Don't lose hope, brothas.
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Post by rapidfire187 on Jan 26, 2012 19:18:21 GMT -5
There are also special circumstances for this whole friend zone thing. I'm in the friend zone with a super hot woman, not because she won't date me (though she probably wouldnt) but because she's dating one of my friends. She is completely off limits forever and I'm cool with that. What sucks is when your relationship with a lady begins as a potential romance, but she decides that you're just friends.
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Professor Chaos
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Bringer of Destruction and Maker of Doom
Posts: 16,332
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Post by Professor Chaos on Jan 26, 2012 19:19:55 GMT -5
How often does one have sex to know the difference? I've had sex 5 times in the past year and it's so few and far between that it feels like the friend zone to me. We don't sleep in the same bed so it all feels like a farce to me. By the way we are married but I feel like I need a girlfriend.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2012 19:22:46 GMT -5
Friend zone is 100% the fault of the dude. It's automatically worse than rejection because both people don't know the intentions of the other.
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Post by rapidfire187 on Jan 26, 2012 19:28:40 GMT -5
How often does one have sex to know the difference? I've had sex 5 times in the past year and it's so few and far between that it feels like the friend zone to me. We don't sleep in the same bed so it all feels like a farce to me. By the way we are married but I feel like I need a girlfriend. Wow that sounds...shitty. But hey, you got laid more than I did last year. Seriously though, I suggest marriage counseling or a divorce. You shouldn't be married to someone that won't have sex with you (if that's important to you) but you definitely should not cheat. That is a terrible solution to the problem.
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Post by Starshine on Jan 26, 2012 19:31:44 GMT -5
Friend zone is 100% the fault of the dude. Where did you get that percentage?
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Post by Vice honcho room temperature on Jan 26, 2012 19:36:29 GMT -5
Friend zone is 100% the fault of the dude. Where did you get that percentage? To quote Homer
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Post by Danimal on Jan 26, 2012 19:53:41 GMT -5
If by "friend zone" you mean "am only being nice and friendly to this person because I want to get in their pants and am being dishonest about my motives with the friendship and think that women must reward me with a relationship if I'm nice to them" then no, I think being rejected is worse. And I disagree that the women has any blame. Because just because you think your "gestures" are obvious, the woman might just think you're, y'know, friends. That's a harsh way to put it, though I generally agree with what you're saying. But I'm fairly certain that he's talking about situations where nobody is being a douchebag. This, it's a ridiculous assumption to say because they are in the friendzone they are being phoney. More often than not it's the nice guy that gets friendzoned. He'd be nice to the girl either way. It's not that he doesn't want to be friends, it's that he wants more. The friendzone guy being a faker just trying to get into her pants is much more common in movies than real life.
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Jan 26, 2012 20:00:48 GMT -5
While being dumped is awful, and I'm sorry about that; if it's hurting you that she's confiding in you and stuff, there's really nowhere is it written that you have to listen right? Just saying do what it takes to preserve your own peace of mind and happiness. Sadly, being in the friend zone is probably the thing that's closest to achieving that goal. I think it's as much pride and ego taking a beating than anything else. I'm a notoriously slow healer when it comes to relationships. Fair enough, I hope that didn't come across as harsh. Get better buddy. And agreed with HMark; while guys in general put themselves in that position, to suggest that most women are completely unaware to the situation of a guy's feelings for them I think is a bit suspect. They may not be malicious about it, but in general, when someone likes you in that way, you know.
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Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Jan 26, 2012 20:12:49 GMT -5
if you're in the "Friend Zone" you've already been rejected. you're just too dumb to notice.
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Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
Posts: 4,785
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Post by Dat Dude on Jan 26, 2012 20:13:21 GMT -5
Ugh, it's much easier to just tell people you wanna have sex with them up front, that way you know where you stand from the start! Get friendzoned then have to hear about the dude she's blowing, no thank you. I can talk about that stuff with my female friends, but why put yourself through that if you actually like the chick. I would replace the term "sex with them" with "relationship" and that would be my thoughts as well. We've all been there at one point, and I find being up front or bluntly honest ends up being a lot more easier in the long run.
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