erisi236
Fry's dog Seymour
... enjoys the rich, smooth taste of Camels.
Not good! Not good! Not good!
Posts: 21,904
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Post by erisi236 on Jan 26, 2012 15:44:25 GMT -5
It just seems like a choice between "death by 1,000 cuts" or "shot in face".
Maybe there's the 1 - 1,000,000 chance, but in reality most people know what "friended" ends up being, a slow painful death.
Of course having someone you happen to like laugh in your face and give a heel promo can be rough, but there is something to be said about it being over and done with in one blow.
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Post by Bone Daddy on Jan 26, 2012 15:47:18 GMT -5
Yes, 100 times worse. Unfortunately sometimes you have to give up a great friendship to tell someone how you really feel. Once your feelings come out most friendships can't survive
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Krimzon
Crow T. Robot
This guy is the man!
R.I.P. Deadpool
Posts: 43,870
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Post by Krimzon on Jan 26, 2012 15:49:10 GMT -5
The Friend Zone is basically Hell on earth. I ALWAYS end up there. ALWAYS. I don't know what I'm doing wrong!
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Post by Bone Daddy on Jan 26, 2012 15:50:55 GMT -5
The Friend Zone is basically Hell on earth. I ALWAYS end up there. ALWAYS. I don't know what I'm doing wrong! being too friendly. duh!
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Jan 26, 2012 15:51:28 GMT -5
I finally have a reason to post this.
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Post by Slingshot Suplay on Jan 26, 2012 15:56:51 GMT -5
The Friend Zone is like the Phantom Zone from the old Superman movies, but just in real life.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2012 15:58:18 GMT -5
The Friend Zone is like the unknown 9th level of Hell.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2012 16:01:24 GMT -5
Being in the friend zone means they're simply not attracted to you. Sucks, but not everyone you're attracted to is going to be attracted to you.
Being rejected is far worse. At least in the 'friend zone', you have someone you think is smashing as a valuable and important person in your life and vice versa, so long as you accept it and move on. Being rejected means you have a vast, empty void where something good might me.
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Post by Andrew is Good on Jan 26, 2012 16:31:21 GMT -5
Friendzone is pretty bad. There is a video online that talks about avoiding the friend zone. One was is not talk to them or kill off the relationship altogether, for a few months, and try to start off fresh. But yeah, I'm very much in the Friend Zone on a regular basis.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2012 16:53:35 GMT -5
Being in the friend zone is like being captured behind enemy lines. They are holding you against your will, torturing you and your only hope for escape is the safety of a bordering country.
In short, if you are in the friend zone it's time to go your separate ways.
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Post by HMARK Center on Jan 26, 2012 17:07:49 GMT -5
It depends how you define "friend zone".
In some cases, would-be romantic feelings can simply transition to a normal friendship, which is a nice method of making something decent out of a bad situation.
It doesn't mean the guy has completely lost all possible romantic feelings for the woman (I guess it could also be visa versa, but reality is that it affects men more), but he's honestly, legitimately stopped pursuing it, and just talks to and treats the woman the way he'd treat any other good friend. The guy also doesn't let possible lingering romantic feelings for this particular woman get in the way of his dating/social life.
In other words: yeah, he might still have some feelings, and would likely still consider the woman "relationship material", but life goes on and he doesn't dwell on it. In this situation, it's highly possible that the guy in question has spoken to the woman about his feelings, heard she wasn't interested, and came to the honest conclusion "Ok, I'm alright with that."
That said, I don't think this is as common as the "friend zone" described here: a guy who allows himself to be stringed along in the vain hope of a girl "breaking" and "giving in" to his overwhelming kindness and/or pandering.
In a case like this, both parties shoulder blame.
The man gets the brunt for letting himself be put in the situation and becoming a doormat, or in worse cases, for being fraudulent and acting like being "nice" means one deserves sex as a reward. The former is the shy, unassuming guy with low self-esteem, the latter is the misogynist who thinks women owe him something for being "so damn nice".
The woman gets blame for abusing the guy's naivety or not having the gumption to just tell him that she appreciates the gestures, but doesn't feel a connection. She allows the behavior to continue and perpetuate.
In this situation, the guy most likely has never come close to admitting his feelings, or if he did he was a total wimp about it.
Either way, just getting rejected is a much, much better situation. You get it, you feel hurt, you get over it, you move on. Lingering on something that isn't there to begin with is pure self-destruction.
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Post by Vice honcho room temperature on Jan 26, 2012 17:10:05 GMT -5
You know what.... I could use a friend so I'm not really in a position to not stick around. Besides I've been there done that so I 'm experienced and will get over it.
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Post by Alex Shelley on Jan 26, 2012 17:14:01 GMT -5
If by "friend zone" you mean "am only being nice and friendly to this person because I want to get in their pants and am being dishonest about my motives with the friendship and think that women must reward me with a relationship if I'm nice to them" then no, I think being rejected is worse.
And I disagree that the women has any blame. Because just because you think your "gestures" are obvious, the woman might just think you're, y'know, friends.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2012 17:22:48 GMT -5
If by "friend zone" you mean "am only being nice and friendly to this person because I want to get in their pants and am being dishonest about my motives with the friendship and think that women must reward me with a relationship if I'm nice to them" then no, I think being rejected is worse. And I disagree that the women has any blame. Because just because you think your "gestures" are obvious, the woman might just think you're, y'know, friends. This. A billion times this. The number of times I've said this to male, and even a couple of female friends is ridiculous.
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Post by "I'm Batman..." on Jan 26, 2012 17:29:04 GMT -5
Two people having a relationship where they know they have different feelings is ridiculous.
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Post by Michael Coello on Jan 26, 2012 17:30:44 GMT -5
If by "friend zone" you mean "am only being nice and friendly to this person because I want to get in their pants and am being dishonest about my motives with the friendship and think that women must reward me with a relationship if I'm nice to them" then no, I think being rejected is worse. And I disagree that the women has any blame. Because just because you think your "gestures" are obvious, the woman might just think you're, y'know, friends. What else is there to a relationship besides sexual/romantic feelings that is exclusive to that and just a friendship. The whole "gestures and being nice" etc should already go with the friendship.
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erisi236
Fry's dog Seymour
... enjoys the rich, smooth taste of Camels.
Not good! Not good! Not good!
Posts: 21,904
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Post by erisi236 on Jan 26, 2012 17:32:03 GMT -5
If by "friend zone" you mean "am only being nice and friendly to this person because I want to get in their pants and am being dishonest about my motives with the friendship and think that women must reward me with a relationship if I'm nice to them" then no, I think being rejected is worse. That's not "friendzoned" that's "faux nice guy".
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Post by rapidfire187 on Jan 26, 2012 17:54:38 GMT -5
Nah, outright rejection is worse. At least if your "friend-zoned" you make a new friend. Plus, hanging around with hot girls is a sure fire way to get laid. Maybe not by them, but they have friends. Plus, being friend zoned at least says "i think you're cool and worth my time" while rejection is just like "f*** off ugly eww you lame".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2012 17:55:16 GMT -5
If by "friend zone" you mean "am only being nice and friendly to this person because I want to get in their pants and am being dishonest about my motives with the friendship and think that women must reward me with a relationship if I'm nice to them" then no, I think being rejected is worse. That's not "friendzoned" that's "faux nice guy". However, by its definition considering oneself 'friendzoned' requires being the faux nice guy. By placing the desired physical relationship on a plateau above a platonic friendship, you are categorizing any resulting friendship as inferior to the unattainable relationship. It requires not valuing the friendship as nothing more that a pale shadow of what you actually want, thus devaluing it. Similarly, by holding onto it and considering onself friendzoned, you are creating an imagined injustice being inflicted upon you. Essentially, the process goes, 'I want this person and they don't want me. However they want a friendship. This means that I must suffer and see any physical or mental gesture of friendship as either a symbol of hope or as the knife being twisted.' This isn't to say that romance can't blossom from friendship. Far from it in fact. However, to go into a friendship thinking you have been partioned into some imaginary friend zone means you are imagining yourself as the wronged party and that makes someone the faux nice guy. You can have feelings for your friends and acknowledge that it sucks, because it does. But by declaring yourself friend zoned, you are imagining that someone who is supposedly your friend is actively causing you pain rather that just valuing you as a friend and nothing more.... Which isn't exactly a terrible thing. And not accepting that and pining or chasing after it eventually makes you the bad guy, as it turns the friendship into one where you're only involved due to the hope that someday you'll get to bang them. In terms of the shy, low self-esteem guy of course thats sad, I've been that guy many times. However, if that guy was honest both to the girl and to himself if she's as great as he considers her to be she could well be the platform to help him build his confidence to meet new girls. But that doesn't mean that she's required to be attracted to him or that by holding on to those feelings and considering himself 'friend zoned' that the guy is painting himself to be a victim and thus his supposed friend as a conscious or unconscious aggressor. I think my main issue is terminology. I understand having feelings for a friend, I've been there and it sucks. Hell, I accidently set this girl up with by best friend and that sucked monkey tits! But I never considered myself friend zoned. I was never in the friendship because I was hoping she'd one day turn around and want to be with me. I was friends with her because I liked hanging out with her. I dated other people and after the initial shock I was really happy for my mate for starting a relationship with such a great girl. When you declare yourself friend zoned, you declare yourself a victim and that you have been somehow wronged by someone who commited the crime of not being into you in that way. Man this turned into a rant....
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Post by Starshine on Jan 26, 2012 17:56:47 GMT -5
Worst thing about ending up in the friend zone is when she starts confiding in you about the guy she's seeing.
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