metylerca
King Koopa
Loves Him Some Backstreet Boys.
Don't be alarmed.
Posts: 12,477
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Post by metylerca on Aug 20, 2021 13:03:13 GMT -5
Punk is now CM Doytch who walks like he's naked but really isn't.
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Post by HMARK Center on Aug 20, 2021 13:04:23 GMT -5
During his entrance, he trips over his cape and lands face-first into a pile of dogshit. Why was he wearing a cape? How'd that dogshit get there? WHO KNOWS?! Don't worry, his face will be guarded from the dog shit thanks to the shiny Stormtrooper helmet they whipped up for him. I'm pretty sure they'll make Brock Anderson speak through a voice alterer for his return promo.
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Post by EP 54 is banned from Collision on Aug 20, 2021 13:09:08 GMT -5
"Compulsive Masturbator" Punk
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Post by Cyno on Aug 20, 2021 13:09:24 GMT -5
His new theme song and gimmick is that of the Ding Dongs from WCW.
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Post by rnrk supports BLM on Aug 20, 2021 13:10:51 GMT -5
Comes out wearing the full fur coat and bling look he allegedly got heat for backstage at WWECW. He's with Bowens and interrupts the Varsity Blondes match by doing THAT Max Caster rap verbatim.
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Rican
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
July 17, 2011 - HHHe called it
Posts: 16,477
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Post by Rican on Aug 20, 2021 13:12:50 GMT -5
He uses Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" for his entrance. The song gets about halfway through with the crowd going nuts the whole time. There are backstage shots of:
-The Elite giving a disbelieving stare at someone in a hoodie who walks by them -An emotional Colt Cabana hugging the hooded stranger we haven't seen -An intense staredown between the hooded stranger and Moxley -Sting and Darby staring down at the hooded stranger from the second floor
And then, cut back to the arena, crowd going nuts, a familiar arm with a pepsi tattoo and wrist tape comes out from the curtain first, Journey sings "Don't Sto" SCREEN GOES BLACK. Completely black for like 10 seconds. Then the credits roll and Rampage never airs again.
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Post by EP 54 is banned from Collision on Aug 20, 2021 13:17:50 GMT -5
Cult of Personality starts playing, the crowd go mad! And out comes the biggest free agent in all of wrestling! RYBACK! Except he's in CM Punk style gear, and even has the tats, and he insists loudly that he _is_ CM Punk!
It turns out he bought the gimmick for 6 cases of Pepsi when Punk retired.
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Jobes
Unicron
Posts: 3,199
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Post by Jobes on Aug 20, 2021 13:33:11 GMT -5
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Post by Fake Jesus on Aug 20, 2021 13:36:08 GMT -5
Punk is coming down the aisle when a bunch of small ninjas jump him. It turns out to be a new villainous faction of dwarf supremacists led by Hornswoggle, who says Punk would never have cut off someone of normal height. Colt Cabana is also in the group for reasons never quite explained. They drag Punk off kicking and screaming a la Jericho and on Dynamite Jim Ross uses his owen voice to inform the audience that they have "a video from the gnome zone" to broadcast. Cue Punk strung up Val Venis style while El Torito and the blue gorilla dwarf from Mexico (CMLL?) take a two-man saw to his legs. Punk comes out a month later with his legs intact and screams that now we know what would have happened if Dr Z-Pack had been allowed to keep torturing him in The Fed. The crowd pop, online reception is very negative. Someone gets banned from FAN in the course of defending the booking.
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Post by Killah Ray on Aug 20, 2021 13:44:08 GMT -5
Unable to secure the rights to Cult of Personality, Tony Khan settles for a different rock anthem from 1988, Bon Jovi's Bad Medicine. Punk debuts with a Chris Amann inspired gimmick, forming a stable with fellow medical professionals Dr. Britt Baker and Dr. Luther, collectively known as the Z-Pack. If Punk does BTE, I want this to be a thing.
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Aug 20, 2021 13:46:44 GMT -5
Let's be totally honest, delusional "MMA superstar" CM Punk would be awesome and funny if he was a lower Midcarder act. Honestly, I’d be for it even in the main event. But Punk doesn’t have the humility to pull it off. And that’s saying something considering Jeff Jarrett did.
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Post by Can you afford to pay me, Gah on Aug 20, 2021 13:50:17 GMT -5
"Cult of Personality" Plays. Out come Hornswoggle dressed like Punk. Followed by MJF coming out saying you all really thought he was coming? You fans are all a bunch of suckers. MJF beats down Hornswoggle dressed like Punk. Then they run Punk being a new hudge on The big Big Show.
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Post by Macho Pichu on Aug 20, 2021 13:53:42 GMT -5
A new theme song hits that nobody's heard before. The crowd erupts in a massive pop, implying something big has just happened, but the camera is fixed on Cody making a dumb face.
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cosmo
Samurai Cop
Posts: 2,406
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Post by cosmo on Aug 20, 2021 13:59:46 GMT -5
Punk cuts a 20-minute promo where he apologizes for every negative thing he ever said about WWE and begs Vince to take him back.
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Post by Can you afford to pay me, Gah on Aug 20, 2021 14:02:05 GMT -5
Mark Henry: "I like you make this amazing announcement, You all remember CM PUnk, and yes it is true, that CM Punk is in fact back, this time in Pog form and all you all can get yours at AEW shop."
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Post by bearned on Aug 20, 2021 14:04:25 GMT -5
Sting gets heard muttering to Darby ‘He fell flat on his fooking arse!’
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Post by HMARK Center on Aug 20, 2021 14:09:23 GMT -5
Punk cuts a 20-minute promo where he apologizes for every negative thing he ever said about WWE and begs Vince to take him back. Punk debuts as ECW Steve Austin?! You're hired.
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Post by häšhtå.gdālėÿ on Aug 20, 2021 14:16:41 GMT -5
Liberace gimmick.
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Pushed to the Moon
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Tony Schiavone in Disguise
Working myself into a shoot
Posts: 15,819
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Post by Pushed to the Moon on Aug 20, 2021 14:26:46 GMT -5
He completely loses all his confidence in public speaking. "I am the west bestler...best...wrester....excuse me....in the world. I'm here in All Wrestling...Elite wrestling alliance. to show....you all....Thank you, Boston."
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Post by Stone Coke Miami Watson 🥃 on Aug 20, 2021 14:27:08 GMT -5
The role of CM Punk will now be played by Cezar Bononi…
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