Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2021 14:29:45 GMT -5
Punk comes out to open the show and the pop is truly epic, something special that no one will ever forget. And it legit gets to Punk. He's beaming. You can see it on his face, the fire is back. The love of wrestling is back. He drinks it in for a second, pausing to collect himself, then calls out "WELCOME TO RAMPAGE!" Only he says it weird. Rampage. He says it like "Ram-PAHJ". Everyone is confused as he goes into his promo, a really heartfelt, well-thought out but still really natural promo from one of the best to ever do it. But he keeps saying it weird, "Ram-PAHJ", every time. The crowd tries to help him out. They yell out "rampage" the way you normally say it. Punk is FURIOUS. He says "You don't correct me! That's how I say it, that's how I say rampage. Ram-PAHJ. Don't correct me! You sicken me! I don't need this!" Then he turns around and walks out, quitting. The rest of the show is in chaos as they scramble to fill time. This is f***ing brilliant. Bravo.
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Post by Fake Jesus on Aug 20, 2021 14:49:08 GMT -5
Tony Khan has purchased and assigned the WARHORSE gimmick to Punk. Danielson will be Danhausen
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No Longer a Produceman
Dennis Stamp
Will Make You an Offer You Can't Refuse
Evolving into Geckoman
Posts: 4,371
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Post by No Longer a Produceman on Aug 20, 2021 14:49:38 GMT -5
He walks out on stage with a bottle of Pepsi. He proceeds to say Pepsi sucks and calls it “piss.”
He tosses the Pepsi down in anger, pulls out a can of Coke and shotguns it a la Steve Austin. He then goes to the back and is never seen again.
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Post by Sponsored by Groose Wipes on Aug 20, 2021 14:51:14 GMT -5
Punk comes out, grabs a mic and says, "I am speechless" before dropping the mic and then walks to the back.
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Post by lockedontarget on Aug 20, 2021 14:52:31 GMT -5
“I’m excited to be in AEW, because when we go on tour, that will give me the chance to get away from this stupid city and all the SMELLY people who live here!”
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Post by CeilingFan on Aug 20, 2021 14:59:32 GMT -5
Will Ospreay comes out, does another rant, and the show ends because they are out of time. No Punk
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Post by This Player Hating Mothman on Aug 20, 2021 15:05:49 GMT -5
Let's be totally honest, delusional "MMA superstar" CM Punk would be awesome and funny if he was a lower Midcarder act. Honestly, I’d be for it even in the main event. But Punk doesn’t have the humility to pull it off. And that’s saying something considering Jeff Jarrett did. Jeff Jarrett wasn't making a joke of Jeff Jarrett The Man when he did that gimmick though. It hits different when the bit is making fun of your most public failures and humiliations.
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Post by MrElijah on Aug 20, 2021 15:12:41 GMT -5
Punk cuts a 20-minute promo where he apologizes for every negative thing he ever said about WWE and begs Vince to take him back. Punk debuts as ECW Steve Austin?! You're hired. Excalibur: Hey, you're CM Punk!! Punk: THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG, MEAN EXCALIBUR!! CM PUNK NEVER HAD WHAT IT TOOK TO MAKE IT IN THE WCW!! *Miro is going nuts as Punk does the Hogan points like a Madman* Miro: AHH, I'M A PUNK-A-MANIAC!!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2021 15:14:39 GMT -5
He gets stuck in traffic. Marvez boards the AEW chopper to provide us with updates via telephone for the entire hour.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2021 15:17:35 GMT -5
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LastCall
Crow T. Robot
Never Asked For This
Getting dark. Bring a FlashLight.
Posts: 43,149
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Post by LastCall on Aug 20, 2021 15:36:28 GMT -5
During a random backstage Marvez interview, we suddenly see Serena Deeb run through the shot screaming. Chasing after her is CM Punk with a pair of hair clippers yelling, "What, you think you're too good for this now?!" Throughout the night we see multiple segments where Punk keeps trying to shave Serena's head, only to be foiled by various circumstances. He never succeeds.
He eventually runs into Gallows and asks him if he wants to join up again. Gallows says he'll think about it while he "taps one out". Visually confused, Punk asks if Gallows is gonna put someone in a submission hold. Gallows then whispers what he really means into Punk's ear. Upon hearing this, Punk is so disgusted that he immediately bails from the United Center. We never see him again.
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Post by Deputy Muscle on Aug 20, 2021 16:03:36 GMT -5
Unable to secure the rights to Cult of Personality, Tony Khan settles for a different rock anthem from 1988, Bon Jovi's Bad Medicine. Punk debuts with a Chris Amann inspired gimmick, forming a stable with fellow medical professionals Dr. Britt Baker and Dr. Luther, collectively known as the Z-Pack. If Punk does BTE, I want this to be a thing. If Punk doesn't do BTE then his contract is rescinded immediately.
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JCBaggee
Hank Scorpio
Writer, streamer. I used to write for CBR but then they fired everyone who cared about their writers
Posts: 6,786
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Post by JCBaggee on Aug 20, 2021 16:25:42 GMT -5
Tony Khan, determined to prove he make anything succeed where Vince couldn't, books Punk as a deaf wrestler.
Alternatively, Punk comes out to sign the AEW contract but is laid out by Tony Schiavone, who turns heel and signs the contract, now working with AEW as both commentary and full-time talent. It's ruled legal since Schiavone is the one who signed the contract. Punk is never seen or referenced again.
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Aug 20, 2021 16:26:38 GMT -5
Honestly, I’d be for it even in the main event. But Punk doesn’t have the humility to pull it off. And that’s saying something considering Jeff Jarrett did. Jeff Jarrett wasn't making a joke of Jeff Jarrett The Man when he did that gimmick though. It hits different when the bit is making fun of your most public failures and humiliations. That’s true. Definitely still a reason Punk couldn’t pull it off though. Plenty of folks can shit all over their failures, no matter how personal. But Punk isn’t that guy.
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Post by HMARK Center on Aug 20, 2021 16:31:50 GMT -5
Tony Khan has purchased and assigned the WARHORSE gimmick to Punk. Danielson will be Danhausen I think if you flipped each gimmick, both guys would be ecstatic to do it.
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Post by katieklaus on Aug 20, 2021 16:33:34 GMT -5
"See My Vest" blares over the sound system as CM Punk shuffles out onto the stage dressed in a suit. He takes a mic and announces that the CM really does stand for Charles Montgomery and that with the money from his power plant he's decided to buy AEW. Looking confused he then asks, "Where am I, Smithers? Smithers?" before walking off aimlessly never to be seen again.
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Post by The Dark Order Inferno on Aug 20, 2021 16:41:14 GMT -5
Have him debut by refereeing a match between a non wrestler and a retired wrestler turned announcer, then be part of a screwy finish to a match that needed a decisive win to give fans a satisfying pay off an angle that's been running for a year.
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Post by häšhtå.gdālėÿ on Aug 20, 2021 16:54:03 GMT -5
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Post by Ronny Rayguns Is All Elite on Aug 20, 2021 17:02:54 GMT -5
Punk comes out, grabs a mic and says, "I am speechless" before dropping the mic and then walks to the back. If CM Punk did his version of this, I'd lose it
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2021 17:11:34 GMT -5
I was so excited to make it that I missed your post. 😄
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