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Post by eJm on Aug 20, 2021 19:50:29 GMT -5
This thread is called “Ruin CM Punk’s debut”, not “Enhance CM Punk’s debut”. You're right, allow me to sour everyone's mood right now: You know all those "Nobody would hijack this match if CM Punk was in it" posts that finally, mercifully died off a few years ago? They're going to be back in force, baby! I’m so tempted to ban you for that.
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Post by MrElijah on Aug 20, 2021 19:50:36 GMT -5
CM Punk is standing in the ring being cheered, when a portal to another world opens up and a demonic hound lunges out it to tear CM Punk to shreds. Seconds too late to do anything about it, Alex Marvez exits the portal in hot pursuit brandishing his longsword made of the fires of the sun itself, and he slays the beast, but there is no hope of salvaging Punk, which makes Marvez tearfully lift the fallen wrestler up in his arms and carry him back through the portal, off to the hut of mountaintop home of the Wizard of The Valley to find out what accursed toll Marvez will have to pay for the wizard's healing magics to bring Punk back to life.
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Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846
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Post by Heartbreaker on Aug 20, 2021 19:50:42 GMT -5
Daniel Bryan debuts as CM Punk followed by CM Punk debuting as Daniel Bryan weeks later.
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Post by A Platypus Rave on Aug 20, 2021 19:55:13 GMT -5
This thread is called “Ruin CM Punk’s debut”, not “Enhance CM Punk’s debut”. You're right, allow me to sour everyone's mood right now: You know all those "Nobody would hijack this match if CM Punk was in it" posts that finally, mercifully died off a few years ago? They're going to be back in force, baby! WOO! CM PUNK PARADOX RETURNS!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2021 19:59:34 GMT -5
He gets stuck in traffic. Marvez boards the AEW chopper to provide us with updates via telephone for the entire hour. Excalibur: Alex can you tell us if Punk is doing all right? Marvez: I can't see through METAL Excalibur! LATER Marvez: Oh this is taking too long, I'm going to see if I can get traffic moving by throwing my shoe at the cars below. Excalibur: This isn't the time to be a hero Alex! Marvez: You're not the time Excalibur, you're not the time! Then we find out Marvez was never looking for Punk instead he took the chopper to get to the strip club faster.Alex has $200 in pennies and is ready to have the night of his life.
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Post by This Player Hating Mothman on Aug 20, 2021 20:00:46 GMT -5
You're right, allow me to sour everyone's mood right now: You know all those "Nobody would hijack this match if CM Punk was in it" posts that finally, mercifully died off a few years ago? They're going to be back in force, baby! I’m so tempted to ban you for that. Do it, coward. f***ing free me
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Post by eJm on Aug 20, 2021 20:01:25 GMT -5
I’m so tempted to ban you for that. Do it, coward. f***ing free meThat’s the problem. It would free you. So I’m not going to. 😛
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Post by Triangle Lancer on Aug 20, 2021 20:19:09 GMT -5
During his entrance, he trips over his cape and lands face-first into a pile of dogshit. Why was he wearing a cape? How'd that dogshit get there? WHO KNOWS?! I get to the end and now think you're Kris Zellner.
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Post by A Platypus Rave on Aug 20, 2021 20:23:29 GMT -5
Do it, coward. f***ing free meThat’s the problem. It would free you. So I’m not going to. 😛 You wouldn't be saying that if he were CM Punk >_>
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Post by eJm on Aug 20, 2021 20:25:04 GMT -5
That’s the problem. It would free you. So I’m not going to. 😛 You wouldn't be saying that if he were CM Punk >_> If I somehow banned you, however, the world would be fine.
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Blade
Don Corleone
Posts: 1,943
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Post by Blade on Aug 20, 2021 20:33:13 GMT -5
Jeff Jarrett wasn't making a joke of Jeff Jarrett The Man when he did that gimmick though. It hits different when the bit is making fun of your most public failures and humiliations. That’s true. Definitely still a reason Punk couldn’t pull it off though. Plenty of folks can shit all over their failures, no matter how personal. But Punk isn’t that guy. [Citation needed]
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Post by Andee9001 on Aug 20, 2021 20:45:35 GMT -5
Punk: "My new tag team is The DOA."
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Post by TOK Hehe'd Around & Found Out on Aug 20, 2021 21:01:13 GMT -5
He comes out to a self-recorded accordion version of Misarea Cantare
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Post by Mike Strike on Aug 20, 2021 23:20:48 GMT -5
*AEW wrestlers walk the ramp carrying a coffin with CM Punk's body in it*
Cody: Unfortunately, we regret to inform you that CM Punk is dead.
*Punk pops out of the coffin*
Punk: That's right, dead serious about going to Itchy & Scratchy Land!
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Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-]
FANatic
Writer, Lover of all things Wrestling. Analytical, Critical, Lovable (hopefully). Lets all have fun!
Posts: 235,696
Member is Online
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Post by Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-] on Aug 20, 2021 23:31:47 GMT -5
*AEW wrestlers walk the ramp carrying a coffin with CM Punk's body in it*Cody: Unfortunately, we regret to inform you that SM Punk is dead. *Punk pops out of the coffin*Punk: That's right, dead serious about going to Itchy & Scratchy Land! They said "Ruin" it. Not "Make it the greatest Debut of all time"!
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Post by DSR on Aug 20, 2021 23:48:53 GMT -5
During his entrance, he trips over his cape and lands face-first into a pile of dogshit. Why was he wearing a cape? How'd that dogshit get there? WHO KNOWS?! I get to the end and now think you're Kris Zellner. No clue who that is.
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knightboat
Unicron
The Snake Roberts Ruined My Wedding
Posts: 2,720
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Post by knightboat on Aug 20, 2021 23:53:50 GMT -5
"No"-AEW
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Sept 12, 2021 12:57:15 GMT -5
Punk comes out to open the show and the pop is truly epic, something special that no one will ever forget. And it legit gets to Punk. He's beaming. You can see it on his face, the fire is back. The love of wrestling is back. He drinks it in for a second, pausing to collect himself, then calls out "WELCOME TO RAMPAGE!" Only he says it weird. Rampage. He says it like "Ram-PAHJ". Everyone is confused as he goes into his promo, a really heartfelt, well-thought out but still really natural promo from one of the best to ever do it. But he keeps saying it weird, "Ram-PAHJ", every time. The crowd tries to help him out. They yell out "rampage" the way you normally say it. Punk is FURIOUS. He says "You don't correct me! That's how I say it, that's how I say rampage. Ram-PAHJ. Don't correct me! You sicken me! I don't need this!" Then he turns around and walks out, quitting. The rest of the show is in chaos as they scramble to fill time. I had to come back and bump this to tell you - in my house, the three of us are all wrestling fans, and we now ALL pronounce 'Rampage' like this every time because of how funny we all found this idea. I want you to take the f***ing credit!
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Post by HMARK Center on Sept 13, 2021 10:53:14 GMT -5
Punk comes out to open the show and the pop is truly epic, something special that no one will ever forget. And it legit gets to Punk. He's beaming. You can see it on his face, the fire is back. The love of wrestling is back. He drinks it in for a second, pausing to collect himself, then calls out "WELCOME TO RAMPAGE!" Only he says it weird. Rampage. He says it like "Ram-PAHJ". Everyone is confused as he goes into his promo, a really heartfelt, well-thought out but still really natural promo from one of the best to ever do it. But he keeps saying it weird, "Ram-PAHJ", every time. The crowd tries to help him out. They yell out "rampage" the way you normally say it. Punk is FURIOUS. He says "You don't correct me! That's how I say it, that's how I say rampage. Ram-PAHJ. Don't correct me! You sicken me! I don't need this!" Then he turns around and walks out, quitting. The rest of the show is in chaos as they scramble to fill time. I had to come back and bump this to tell you - in my house, the three of us are all wrestling fans, and we now ALL pronounce 'Rampage' like this every time because of how funny we all found this idea. I want you to take the f***ing credit! The best part is I read the "you don't correct me!" part as Punk saying "That's how I say Ram-PAGE. Ram-PAHJ." Like "I could just say it normal, and I just did, but I also don't, because REASONS."
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Post by Clash, Never a Meter Maid on Sept 13, 2021 14:08:35 GMT -5
Dress him as Pepsiman.
Wait, that’d make him cooler.
Job him to the 7Up “Spot” mascot. Remember him?
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