XIII
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Posts: 18,536
Member is Online
|
Post by XIII on Aug 20, 2021 17:14:00 GMT -5
CM Punk announces that he’s in AEW solely to be a referee, then he just refs matches for 3 years without ever getting physical or wrestling again.
|
|
|
Post by Rumble McSkirmish on Aug 20, 2021 17:15:59 GMT -5
He gets stuck in traffic. Marvez boards the AEW chopper to provide us with updates via telephone for the entire hour. Excalibur: Alex can you tell us if Punk is doing all right? Marvez: I can't see through METAL Excalibur! LATER Marvez: Oh this is taking too long, I'm going to see if I can get traffic moving by throwing my shoe at the cars below. Excalibur: This isn't the time to be a hero Alex! Marvez: You're not the time Excalibur, you're not the time!
|
|
|
Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Aug 20, 2021 17:26:39 GMT -5
CM Punk hatches out of a giant egg that Alex Marvez has to hype up while pretending it's been there at every AEW show for the last two to three months. And then he dances for 15 minutes with the Gobbledy-punker.
|
|
|
Post by Sponsored by Groose Wipes on Aug 20, 2021 17:37:06 GMT -5
Punk comes out, grabs a mic and says, "I am speechless" before dropping the mic and then walks to the back. If CM Punk did his version of this, I'd lose it Man I miss Jeritroll.
|
|
|
Post by wildojinx on Aug 20, 2021 17:41:47 GMT -5
Shannon Moore comes out, says "Well, you wanted a PUNK didnt you?", and walks away, never to be seen again.
|
|
|
Post by HMARK Center on Aug 20, 2021 17:45:16 GMT -5
"See My Vest" blares over the sound system as CM Punk shuffles out onto the stage dressed in a suit. He takes a mic and announces that the CM really does stand for Charles Montgomery and that with the money from his power plant he's decided to buy AEW. Looking confused he then asks, "Where am I, Smithers? Smithers?" before walking off aimlessly never to be seen again. No more Cult of Personality, Punk's using Dankmus for his theme music now.
|
|
metylerca
King Koopa
Loves Him Some Backstreet Boys.
Don't be alarmed.
Posts: 12,477
|
Post by metylerca on Aug 20, 2021 18:12:02 GMT -5
"See My Vest" blares over the sound system as CM Punk shuffles out onto the stage dressed in a suit. He takes a mic and announces that the CM really does stand for Charles Montgomery and that with the money from his power plant he's decided to buy AEW. Looking confused he then asks, "Where am I, Smithers? Smithers?" before walking off aimlessly never to be seen again. No more Cult of Personality, Punk's using Dankmus for his theme music now. Raw dead in a year if true.
|
|
|
Post by This Player Hating Mothman on Aug 20, 2021 18:23:10 GMT -5
CM Punk is standing in the ring being cheered, when a portal to another world opens up and a demonic hound lunges out it to tear CM Punk to shreds. Seconds too late to do anything about it, Alex Marvez exits the portal in hot pursuit brandishing his longsword made of the fires of the sun itself, and he slays the beast, but there is no hope of salvaging Punk, which makes Marvez tearfully lift the fallen wrestler up in his arms and carry him back through the portal, off to the hut of mountaintop home of the Wizard of The Valley to find out what accursed toll Marvez will have to pay for the wizard's healing magics to bring Punk back to life.
|
|
|
Post by wildojinx on Aug 20, 2021 18:25:51 GMT -5
Just as he's about to come out, some hacker named Dr. Midnite hacks the broadcast with a message complaining about HBO MAX being too expensive.
|
|
|
Post by Lance Uppercut on Aug 20, 2021 18:28:58 GMT -5
Goes on a 10 minute rant about being ruined by those guys up north.
|
|
FHgrad99
Vegeta
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 9,021
|
Post by FHgrad99 on Aug 20, 2021 18:41:19 GMT -5
They dress some random person from Dark in a chipmunk suit and call him CP Munk. The name "CM Punk" is never mentioned in AEW ever.
|
|
|
Post by Andy Martin on Aug 20, 2021 18:45:28 GMT -5
He debuts as MMA superstar CM Punk alongside Dan Lambert, talking up his jiu-jitsu skills and discipline and how he's lowering himself to compete in pro wrestling. Does his awkward crab walk whenever he starts a match. If only Rener and Ryron Gracie were associated with ATT we could make this dream a reality.
|
|
Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,162
|
Post by Jonathan Michaels on Aug 20, 2021 18:47:00 GMT -5
As the leader of the New Dark Order
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2021 18:53:34 GMT -5
Punk is signing the contract in a backstage press conference. When suddenly Chavo Guerrero attacks him rendering him unconscious. Chavo declares the man he beat for the ECW Title isn’t good enough for AEW. Punk is never seen or referenced again.
|
|
Dr. Bolty, Disaster Enby
Grimlock
Blanket burrito season is back, and I never left the blankets
Posts: 12,834
Member is Online
|
Post by Dr. Bolty, Disaster Enby on Aug 20, 2021 19:00:17 GMT -5
Goes on a 10 minute rant about being ruined by those guys up north. Honestly, that's the most realistic option for how he could completely sour this.
|
|
|
Post by Andy Martin on Aug 20, 2021 19:01:09 GMT -5
Sting gets heard muttering to Darby ‘He fell flat on his fooking arse!’ When did Sting turn Irish?
|
|
|
Post by A Platypus Rave on Aug 20, 2021 19:22:32 GMT -5
Punk's new gimmick... the 600 pound man!
|
|
|
Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Aug 20, 2021 19:45:37 GMT -5
Punk comes out to open the show and the pop is truly epic, something special that no one will ever forget. And it legit gets to Punk. He's beaming. You can see it on his face, the fire is back. The love of wrestling is back. He drinks it in for a second, pausing to collect himself, then calls out "WELCOME TO RAMPAGE!" Only he says it weird. Rampage. He says it like "Ram-PAHJ". Everyone is confused as he goes into his promo, a really heartfelt, well-thought out but still really natural promo from one of the best to ever do it. But he keeps saying it weird, "Ram-PAHJ", every time. The crowd tries to help him out. They yell out "rampage" the way you normally say it. Punk is FURIOUS. He says "You don't correct me! That's how I say it, that's how I say rampage. Ram-PAHJ. Don't correct me! You sicken me! I don't need this!" Then he turns around and walks out, quitting. The rest of the show is in chaos as they scramble to fill time. This is absolutely hilarious
|
|
|
Post by eJm on Aug 20, 2021 19:47:30 GMT -5
CM Punk is standing in the ring being cheered, when a portal to another world opens up and a demonic hound lunges out it to tear CM Punk to shreds. Seconds too late to do anything about it, Alex Marvez exits the portal in hot pursuit brandishing his longsword made of the fires of the sun itself, and he slays the beast, but there is no hope of salvaging Punk, which makes Marvez tearfully lift the fallen wrestler up in his arms and carry him back through the portal, off to the hut of mountaintop home of the Wizard of The Valley to find out what accursed toll Marvez will have to pay for the wizard's healing magics to bring Punk back to life. This thread is called “Ruin CM Punk’s debut”, not “Enhance CM Punk’s debut”.
|
|
|
Post by This Player Hating Mothman on Aug 20, 2021 19:49:32 GMT -5
CM Punk is standing in the ring being cheered, when a portal to another world opens up and a demonic hound lunges out it to tear CM Punk to shreds. Seconds too late to do anything about it, Alex Marvez exits the portal in hot pursuit brandishing his longsword made of the fires of the sun itself, and he slays the beast, but there is no hope of salvaging Punk, which makes Marvez tearfully lift the fallen wrestler up in his arms and carry him back through the portal, off to the hut of mountaintop home of the Wizard of The Valley to find out what accursed toll Marvez will have to pay for the wizard's healing magics to bring Punk back to life. This thread is called “Ruin CM Punk’s debut”, not “Enhance CM Punk’s debut”. You're right, allow me to sour everyone's mood right now: You know all those "Nobody would hijack this match if CM Punk was in it" posts that finally, mercifully died off a few years ago? They're going to be back in force, baby!
|
|