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Post by Doctor Tull-eus S. Venture on Jun 8, 2006 7:34:32 GMT -5
Lisa: "Studies show that the elderly can drive just as well as sleep-deprived apes" (From the episode where Abe wants to drive again)
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Ken Ivory
Hank Scorpio
This sorta thing IS my bag, baby.
Posts: 5,282
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Post by Ken Ivory on Jun 8, 2006 7:39:36 GMT -5
Homer eating the poisoned Ham: Bowels clenching....stomach churning. Not much time, must finish...ham.
Homer to Bart: You wanna change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you HoJu! Bart: Uh, I'll get back to you on that
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Post Master:Ok Mr Burns, what's your first name? Homer: I don't know
Moe: What's his name Homer: Uh, Joey JoJo Junior Shabado! Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard in my life (man runs out crying) Barney: Wait! joey JoJo!
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Post by Doctor Tull-eus S. Venture on Jun 8, 2006 7:40:31 GMT -5
Homer eating the poisoned Ham: Bowels clenching....stomach churning. Not much time, must finish...ham. LOL! I forgot about that episode. "WOO-HOO! CHeap Meat!"
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Ken Ivory
Hank Scorpio
This sorta thing IS my bag, baby.
Posts: 5,282
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Post by Ken Ivory on Jun 8, 2006 7:41:29 GMT -5
Not exactly a quote but the groan Sideshow Bob makes when hit by the rakes is calssic
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Jun 8, 2006 7:44:18 GMT -5
Moe: Ah, it's a weird world, Homer. As hard as it is to believe, some people don't care for me, neither. Homer: No, I won't accept that. Moe: No, it's true. I got their names written down right here on what I call my, uh, "enemies list." (reaches under the bar for a sheet of paper) Barney: (takes list and reads it) Jane Fonda, Daniel Schorr, Jack Anderson... Hey! This is Richard Nixon's enemies list. You just crossed out his name and put yours. Moe: Okay, gimmie that, gimmie it back. (takes list and writes) Barney Gumble. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homer: Ned Flanders, I mock your value system. You also appear foolish in the eyes of others.
Ned: Well howdy, Homer. (the partition slides up) Ooh, thanks for dropping by!
Dr. Foster: Hmm. He's not responding. Proceed to level two antagonism.
Homer: Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent.
Ned: Ooh, well, I guess I'll just have to try harder then. (partition slides up again) Oh! Thanks for dropping by.
Dr. Foster: He's still repressing. Maximum hostility factor.
Homer: I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. Now that's psychiatry! Eh? Eh?
(Ned just laughs)
Homer Oh, that's it. You just can't insult this guy. You call him a moron and he just sits there grinning moronally -------------------------------------------- Rooney: Well, I hope you're all satisfied. You bankrupted a bunch of naive movie folks -- folks from a Hollywood where values are... different. They weren't thinking about the money. They just wanted to tell a story, a story about a radioactive man, and you slick small-towners took 'em for all they were worth. [everyone looks dejected and mournful] Otto: [sniffles] Do we give them some of their money back? Quimby: [weeps] No. [the helicopter swings by overhead] Pilot: Hurry, Mr. Rooney! We've got a disenchanted little girl in a Jell-O Pudding commercial! Rooney: I could play that...[grabs the rope ladder] ------------------------------------------------------------------ Bart: But Milhouse, they haven't cured anything! Heart disease and world hunger are still rampant. Those do-gooders are all a bunch a pitiful losers...every last one of them. Want results? You have to go to the Schwarzeneggers, the Stallones, and to a lesser extent, the Van Dammes.
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Post by Deus Ex Machina on Jun 8, 2006 8:01:13 GMT -5
Flanders: "Uhm, howdy neighbour. I couldn't help but notice you picked all my flowers." Homer: "Can't make a float without flowers." Flanders: "Well, I appreciate that,but... did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow here again?" Homer: "Heh, heh, heh... yes..."
Marge: "I want you to promise you'll be on your best behaviour on this vacation." Homer: "You have my word as a gentleman AND a lady. Now... which rifle to bring..."
Marge: "This is the worst thing you've ever done!" Homer: "Oh, you say that so much it's lost all meaning."
Homer: "I don't know, Marge. Trying is the first step towards failure."
Homer: "To alcohol: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
Homer: "Anyone wanna guess how I got the money?" Bart: "Drugs." Lisa: "Drugs." Marge: "I'm gonna go with drugs too." Homer: "Close, but you're way off."
Homer: "The boys from Brazil are little Hitlers. I saw it in a movie, the name of which I can't remember."
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kunswwfmark
Hank Scorpio
Nobody beats Mr. Perfect. Nobody!
Posts: 5,909
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Post by kunswwfmark on Jun 8, 2006 8:03:47 GMT -5
(Homer talking to Bart: Homer: Would you like to change your name to Homer Jr.? The kids could call you HoJu! I don't remember that quote, but I laughed my ass off when I read it.
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on Jun 8, 2006 8:08:33 GMT -5
Homer: "but Marge i want be like the guy who built the rocket and went to the moon, What was his name..........Apollo Creed
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Post by Deus Ex Machina on Jun 8, 2006 8:10:30 GMT -5
Homer *Who's changed his name to Max Power*: "From now on there are three ways to do things: The right way, the wrong way and The Max Power way." Bart: "Isn't that the wrong way?" Homer: "Yes, only faster."
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on Jun 8, 2006 8:15:52 GMT -5
Mr Burns: " you know Smithers i think i'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanige" (smithers looks) Mr Burns: "When pigs fly" (both laugh hysterically, Then a pig fly's past the window) Smithers: "Will you be donating the money now sir" Mr Burns: "NO i dont think i'll bother
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Jun 8, 2006 8:27:12 GMT -5
Homer (inner monologue): Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me? Mr. Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Homer (inner monologue): Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me? Mr. Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm? Homer (inner monologue): My God! He is coming onto me! Mr. Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. [laughs and winks] Homer (inner monologue): [screams] Homer: Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no -------------------------------------------------------------- Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.Lisa needs braces. Dental Plan.
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Post by Doctor Tull-eus S. Venture on Jun 8, 2006 8:52:36 GMT -5
Milhouse: Bart, can we stop for ice cream? Bart: Yes. Nelson: Bart can we get our car weighed at that weighing sation? Bart: Yes. Milhouse: Hey Bart, can we pick up that hitchhiker? Bart: Yes. Hitchhiker: Bart, can we stop for ice cream? Bart: mmmmmm........Yes.
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Post by gsguy on Jun 8, 2006 9:00:18 GMT -5
Homer: The last bar in Springfield. If they don't let me in here, I'll have to quit drinking!
Homer's liver: Yeah!
Homer: Shut up liver (punches himself). Ow, my liver hurts!
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Post by fuzzywarble, squat cobbler on Jun 8, 2006 9:30:30 GMT -5
Homer: "Marge, there are two kinds of people who wear Hawaiian shirts: gay guys, and big fat party animals. And Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me..."
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Jun 8, 2006 9:31:44 GMT -5
Homer: Well, when I'm passionate about something, I see it through to the end. [moves some boxes, uncovering a half-finished robot] Robot: Father, give me legs. [Homer tosses out the robot] [imploring] Father! [Homer isn't moved, and the robot drags himself away on his "arms"]
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Post by Doctor Tull-eus S. Venture on Jun 8, 2006 9:33:08 GMT -5
Barney: "is it safe to come out now, Mr. Gay Man, sir?"
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Post by viscera on Jun 8, 2006 9:35:46 GMT -5
Evil Bond Villian: Your move Mr Bond
Bond-look alike: I'll take a hit
* Homers gives him a card *
Bond: Joker! You were supposed to take those out of the deck!
Homer: hee hee... sorry
* Homers gives him another card *
Bond: What's this card? Rules for draw and stud poker?
Bond Villian: What a pity Mr. Bond.
Bond: But I never lose... it was all Homer's fault. Well, at least tell me your plans for world domination.
Bond Villian: Hoho... I'm not going to fall for that one again.
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Post by fuzzywarble, squat cobbler on Jun 8, 2006 9:35:52 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homer: Ned Flanders, I mock your value system. You also appear foolish in the eyes of others. Ned: Well howdy, Homer. (the partition slides up) Ooh, thanks for dropping by! Dr. Foster: Hmm. He's not responding. Proceed to level two antagonism. Homer: Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent. Ned: Ooh, well, I guess I'll just have to try harder then. (partition slides up again) Oh! Thanks for dropping by. Dr. Foster: He's still repressing. Maximum hostility factor. Homer: I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. Now that's psychiatry! Eh? Eh? (Ned just laughs) Homer Oh, that's it. You just can't insult this guy. You call him a moron and he just sits there grinning moronally -------------------------------------------- Dr. Foster: "This isn't in the script. Did you write it?" Assistant: "Uh...did you like it?" Dr. Foster: "He says he hates his father! You know what this means?" Assistant: "Uh...what do you think?" Dr. Foster: "It means he's cured!" Assistant: "That's what I said!"
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Triple Kelly
Vegeta
Not once, twice, but three times a Kelly
Posts: 9,470
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Post by Triple Kelly on Jun 8, 2006 9:37:40 GMT -5
I have WAY too many!! But here's a few.
Ralph Wiggum: Hi Lisa! Hi Supernintendo Chalmers! I'm learneding!
Mrs. Krabappel: *using the Oscar Meyere periodic table* Alright, who can tell me the atomic weight of Bolognium?
Mr. Burns: I'm going on a quest to find something man has been searching for since the dawn of time. Homer: A sober Irishman? Mr. Burns: EVEN RARER.
Barney: My name is Barney and I'm an alcoholic. Lisa: Mr. Gumbel, this is a girl scout meeting. Barney: Is it really? Or is it that you girls can't admit that you have a problem?
Barney: Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.
Homer: Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters??! Colonel Klink: I'm not actually Colonel Klink! I'm just assuming his fooorrrmm. Homer: Hee hee, did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp? HAHAHA! Colonel Klink: *shakes fist* Hooommmeeeerrrr!!
I have too many.
-Kelly
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Jun 8, 2006 9:37:45 GMT -5
Homer: 'I Like To Keep A Lollypop There.'
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