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Post by maxx420 on Jun 8, 2006 16:12:01 GMT -5
Chief Wiggum- ''I've got a question for you...SHUT UP!'' Which reminds of the spoof of "The Prisoner". "Why did you think a big balloon would stop him?" "SHUT UP! That's why!"
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Post by Well, Youre Wrong on Jun 8, 2006 16:48:57 GMT -5
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
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therob
Hank Scorpio
Mcginley to Slim's O'neil
Posts: 7,257
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Post by therob on Jun 8, 2006 17:28:41 GMT -5
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son." One of the best quotes ever. Kirk Vanhouten-Now when the dogs find milhouse will they bring him back or will they kill him Chief wiggum-well the thing is mghgmmg Kirk- what you just kind of mumbled off there wiggum-yes, yes I did
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spec
Hank Scorpio
Bum Wiping Aficionado
Posts: 5,676
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Post by spec on Jun 8, 2006 17:42:32 GMT -5
Superintendent Chalmers: Now i'm off on vacation to Lake Tittikaka. Let's see you make a joke outta that, smart guy!
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Triple Kelly
Vegeta
Not once, twice, but three times a Kelly
Posts: 9,470
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Post by Triple Kelly on Jun 8, 2006 17:44:10 GMT -5
Mayor Quimby to Leonard Nimoy: Yes, May the Force Be With Us All. Leonard Nimoy: You have no idea who I am, do you? Mayor Quimby: Aren't you one of the Little Rascals?
In that same vein.
Unidentified Old Movie Actor: Oh my God! He's killed the original Alfalfa!
Skinner to Nelson: I'm sentencing you to one week of the lowest most degrading kind of work. Janitorial work! Willie: Ack....I'm standing right here, sirrr.
Jimbo to Nelson: You kissed a girl! That is SO gay!
Comic Book Guy: Excuse me, OLDIE Hawn. Mrs. Skinner: Why you ill-mannered sack of CRAP!
I also love the Skinner and the Superintendant theme song.
-Kelly
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Jun 8, 2006 21:51:32 GMT -5
Ned: The other night I got talked into doing this dance called "The Bump", but my hips slipped and my...buttocks came into contact with the...buttocks of another young man!
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Albino Heat
Don Corleone
You're a nasty bastard, and your momma said so!!
Posts: 2,095
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Post by Albino Heat on Jun 8, 2006 23:46:02 GMT -5
Remembered another one!
Bart: I want my soul back.
Kirk Van Houten: Millhouse, give Bart back his soul. I've got work in the morning!
Millhouse: Sorry Bart, I traded your soul. But look what I got. Pogs! ALF pogs! Remember ALF? He's back! In pog form!!
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Ben Wyatt
Crow T. Robot
Are You Gonna Go My Way?
I don't get it. At all. It's kind of a small horse, I mean what am I missing? Am I crazy?
Posts: 41,495
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Post by Ben Wyatt on Jun 9, 2006 0:09:24 GMT -5
Homer: The last bar in Springfield. If they don't let me in here, I'll have to quit drinking! Homer's liver: Yeah! Homer: Shut up liver (punches himself). Ow, my liver hurts! I almost pissed myself when I saw that scene recently. Moe: "I was wondering if you could save my soul. Ive done a lot of stuff I aint proud of, and the stuff I am proud of is disgusting"
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Ken Ivory
Hank Scorpio
This sorta thing IS my bag, baby.
Posts: 5,282
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Post by Ken Ivory on Jun 9, 2006 3:49:13 GMT -5
(Mr. Burns walks in as Homer Spray paints "I AM HOMER SIMPSON" on his office wall)
Mr. Burns: Who the Devil are you? ********************************************
Milhouse: Wow, this is like Speed 2 but with a bus instead of a boat
*********************************************
Mr. Burns: Have you ever seen the sun set a 3P.M.? Sea Cpt; yar, once when I was sailing round the Arctic Mr.Burns: Shut up, you!
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Ken Ivory
Hank Scorpio
This sorta thing IS my bag, baby.
Posts: 5,282
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Post by Ken Ivory on Jun 9, 2006 3:53:14 GMT -5
Mr Burns (wearing fake moustache- in fact I think someone has it as their avatar): Hello, my name is Mr. Snrub. I come from far away...yes that should do...and I think we should invest the money back into the Power plant.
Smithers: I like the way Snrub thinks
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Post by Deus Ex Machina on Jun 9, 2006 6:59:36 GMT -5
There's a crayon in my brain? Scientist: "This operation could vastly increase your brain power, but there's also a chance it could kill you." Homer: "Vastly increase my killing power, eh? I'll do it!"
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Post by maxx420 on Jun 9, 2006 7:03:56 GMT -5
Lionel Hutz: I'll prove not only that Freddy Quimby is guilty, but also that he is innocent of not being guilty.
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Post by Baixo Astral on Jun 9, 2006 7:07:20 GMT -5
And my all time favourite episode has two gems - these are from 'Lisa's Rival'
And the best of all
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Jun 9, 2006 14:51:44 GMT -5
Phony McRingRing, telephone spokesperson-"It's been proven in studies that even a monkey can memorize 10 numbers. And you're not stupider than a monkey, are you?" Wiggum-"It depends. How big of a monkey are we talking about?"
(Bart and Lisa are playing tennis on the Simpson's new court)
Homer-"What the hell are you two doing?" Lisa-"We're playing tennis." Homer-"That's tennis?! Well, what's that sport where the chicks wail on each other?" Bart-"Foxy Boxing?" Homer-"YEEESS! That's what I wanted! Ohhhh..."
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Post by Deus Ex Machina on Jun 9, 2006 14:53:56 GMT -5
Prof. Frink: "Here we have an ordinary square..." Chief Wiggum: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, egghead."
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mo
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
"Here are the young men, the weight on their shoulders..."
Posts: 16,570
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Post by mo on Jun 9, 2006 14:56:05 GMT -5
I love it when Homer gets lyrics to songs wrong
"Oh when the saints, go over there! Oh , when the saints go over there!"
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Jun 9, 2006 15:25:32 GMT -5
"Sax-A-MA-Phone! Sax-A-Ma-Phone!!"
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Post by Doctor Tull-eus S. Venture on Jun 9, 2006 15:30:32 GMT -5
Who could forget this gem?
Bart: You could make a pass at your commanding officer.
Skinner: Done and done. And I mean done.
or this one.
Bart: Mr. Smithers, I thought you were....
Smithers: Gay? Don't be silly. I'm fine as long as I take these injections every 10 minutes.
(injects green stuff in)
Smithers: I LOVE BOOBIES!
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Jun 9, 2006 15:40:20 GMT -5
Homer: You could close down Moe's, Or the Kwik-E-Mart, And nobody would care, But the heart and soul Of Springfield's in Our Maison Derriere!
[music starts]
Belle: We're the sauce on your steak, We're the cheese in your cake, We put the spring in Springfield. Dancing Girl 1: We're the lace on the nightgown, Dancing Girl 2: The point after touchdown, Belle and Dancing Girls: Yes we put the spring in Springfield.
Belle: We're that little extra spice That makes existence extra-nice, A giddy little thrill At a reasonable price. Lovejoy: Our only major quarrel's With your total lack of morals. Dancing Girl 3: Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad, Dancing Girl 4: They seem to entertain your dad!
Belle and Dancing Girls: The gin in your martini, The clams on your linguine, Yes we keep the [Belle flicks Bumblebee Man's antenna] In Springfield!
Wiggum, Krusty & Skinner: We remember our first visit, Mayor Quimby: The service was exquisite! Mrs Quimby: Why Joseph, I had no idea! Mayor Quimby: Come on now, you were working here! Grampa and Jasper: Without it we'd have had no fun Since March of 1961! Bart: To shut it down now would be twisted, Jimbo, Dolph & Kearney: We just heard this place existed!
Dancing Girls: We're the highlights in your hairdo, Apu: The extra arms on Vishnu, Dancing Girls: So don't take the [Barney opens a jack-in-the-box] Mob: We won't take the [Sideshow Mel blows on his slide-whistle] Everyone: Yes let's keep the [Moe crashes two garbage can lids together] In Springfield!
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Jun 9, 2006 15:53:48 GMT -5
Other HOMR favorites:
"Now, who's up for a trip to the library tomorrow? Notice I no longer say 'liberry' or 'tomorrie'."
Lisa: "Dad, did you read ALL these books today?" Homer: "Everything from Hop On Pop to Death Be Not Proud. It was such a tragedy what they did to Pop."
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