|
Post by bibboid on Jul 16, 2021 9:35:52 GMT -5
A bear and a rabbit are crapping in the woods. The bear looks down at the rabbit and asks, “ Do you have trouble with crap sticking to your fur?” “No. Not at all,” says the rabbit.
And the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
|
|
|
Post by Main Event Mark on Jul 25, 2021 19:43:03 GMT -5
Glass coffins...Will they be popular?
Remains to be seen.
|
|
Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,165
|
Post by Spider2024 on Jul 28, 2021 11:57:43 GMT -5
Q: What does Edith Bunker say every time she notices her favorite Olympic sport on television? A: "Oh, archery!"
|
|
ERON
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,773
|
Post by ERON on Aug 13, 2021 8:17:15 GMT -5
What do you call an anxious dinosaur?
Nervous Rex
|
|
|
Post by Main Event Mark on Aug 13, 2021 18:45:23 GMT -5
I bought my daughter a refrigerator for her birthday. I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
|
|
|
Post by bibboid on Aug 22, 2021 0:13:31 GMT -5
Charles Dickens walks into a bar.
“I’ll have a martini,” he says
“Sure,” says the bartender. “Olive or twist?”
|
|
Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,165
|
Post by Spider2024 on Oct 24, 2021 20:29:01 GMT -5
Uhhh... I don't get it. But it still sounds better than "make like a tree and leaf!" ever did.
|
|
|
Post by bibboid on Oct 29, 2021 20:39:34 GMT -5
Where did Noah store his bees?
In his ark hives.
|
|
Scooterdust
ALF
I'm in the center of the epicenter of the pandemic!
Posts: 1,097
|
Post by Scooterdust on Oct 30, 2021 15:58:23 GMT -5
How can you follow Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the Fresh Prints.
|
|
|
Post by bibboid on Dec 24, 2021 23:14:18 GMT -5
My cheese filled advent calendar had cheese based jokes.
What is cheese without a cracker? Crackalackin.
What does cheese say when it looks in a mirror? Looking Gouda.
What do you call a cheese that doesn’t tell the truth? Un-Brie-leavable
What did the mouse say when he snatched the cheese without getting caught in the trap? Cheddar luck next time
Why didn’t the boy get to go on the field trip to the cheese factory? His parents didn’t sign his Parm-mission slip
What was Marlon Brandi’s cheesiest movie? The Goudafather
Do you know the most popular cheese in Great Britain? Brie-tish cheese
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say: Cheese!
What is Jay-Z’s favorite cheese? Brie-Yonce
What did the mozzarella say as it was getting shredded? I’m falling to pizzas
I’ve got an addiction to cheddar cheese. It’s only mild though.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party? In queso emergency
|
|
|
Post by Main Event Mark on Dec 28, 2021 14:16:29 GMT -5
Sad news, my obese parrot died today. Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
|
|
|
Post by Main Event Mark on Feb 27, 2022 10:39:36 GMT -5
Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me!
Luckily, me injuries were only super fish oil.
|
|
Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,165
|
Post by Spider2024 on Apr 1, 2022 5:07:33 GMT -5
It's not April Fools Day today.
|
|
ERON
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,773
|
Post by ERON on Apr 29, 2022 8:33:08 GMT -5
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
|
|
Futureraven: Beelzebruv
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Ultimate Arbiter of Right And Wrong
Spent half my life here, God help me
Posts: 15,009
|
Post by Futureraven: Beelzebruv on May 1, 2022 7:28:55 GMT -5
A guy in my carpentry class thinks we don't take health and safety seriously enough.
He's starting a splinter group.
|
|
Perd
Patti Mayonnaise
Leslie needs to butt out for fear of receiving The Bunghole Buster
Posts: 31,940
|
Post by Perd on May 6, 2022 23:39:47 GMT -5
If 68 comes after 67, and 69/comes after 68,what comes after 69?
Moithwash.
|
|
|
Post by Malibu Stacy on May 7, 2022 0:30:39 GMT -5
Shot one off irl today:
Coworker: Michael! Where are you Michael?
Me: He's rowing his boat ashore!
(Coworker proceeded to laugh and walk away singing the song)
|
|
|
Post by Mandarin Dessert Version 0 on May 7, 2022 1:00:04 GMT -5
I didn't want to tell a paper joke today. It would have been just tearable.
|
|
The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548
|
Post by The Unconquered Sun on Sept 9, 2022 15:22:35 GMT -5
I bought a sweater the other day. Problem was it had a lot of static cling, lucky for me the store manager let me exchange it for a new one… Free of charge!
|
|
The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548
|
Post by The Unconquered Sun on Sept 16, 2022 9:19:07 GMT -5
There was a horrible accident at my work the other day, a guy cut off the whole left side of his body! He’s all right now…
|
|