Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,287
|
Post by Push R Truth on Apr 12, 2016 7:41:15 GMT -5
Dixie: This is my swing set. This is my wrestling promotion. This is my sandbox, I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. [points to a Bob Ryder's desk] Dixie: That's where I saw the leprechaun. James Storm: [sarcastically] Right, a leprechaun. Dixie: He tells me to book things. James Storm: [uneasily] Uh-huh.
|
|
|
Post by wildojinx on Apr 12, 2016 7:49:10 GMT -5
On the TNA company tour: Dixie: What's does the future hold for us? Let's just say we have a few ideas up our sleeve Visitor: Like what? Dixie: Uh, I'd rather not say Visitor: Why not? Dixie: Fine, we dont have any ideas for the future. We got nothing. Happy?
(the fact that i didnt have to change any dialogue for that is sad)
|
|
|
Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Apr 13, 2016 15:40:15 GMT -5
*When POP inevitably cancels TNA*
Dixie: Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge not to pay any of your talent or production crew, and for what? For some pimply little network exec to treat you like dirt unless you get ratings. Well, I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy, store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I...I can't compete with that stuff.
|
|
|
Post by moondoggie on Apr 13, 2016 15:58:43 GMT -5
Dixie: Greetings, friends. Do you wish to be as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Sug, ShopTNA Warehouse, 209 10th Ave South Suite #160 Nashville, TN. Don't delay, my eternal happiness is just a dollar away.
Vince McMahon: One dollar for someone else's eternal happiness. Hmm...I would feel more happier with the dollar.
|
|
|
Post by G✇JI☈A on Apr 25, 2016 6:06:11 GMT -5
Don West: OK Dixie this is getting dire, I think we should see a fiancial planner. Dixie: a fiancial Panther, eh?
*Dixie imagines the following scene*
Robbie E: Dixie my pay cheque bounced again! Dixie: SICK'EM SUG!
*Robbie is attacked by a Panther*
|
|
|
Post by wildojinx on Apr 30, 2016 0:25:19 GMT -5
More of a general lol wrestling one but: Announcer: Today on Tommy, workers and promoters reunited by their dislike of TNA's booking, and now here's your host, Tommy Dreamer Audience member 1: I'd just like to say, we need less Dixie Carter's and more money for Lucha Underground! Audience member 2: I have a questi- (Dreamer gets distracted and goes to the catering table) Crew Member: Tommy, no! (Crew member gets beaten up by Tommy as security guards pull him away) (ok, to be honest, i just wanted to do the Gentle Ben talk show gag somehow)
|
|
Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846
|
Post by Heartbreaker on May 25, 2016 1:46:52 GMT -5
*Bob Ryder comes to Rockstar Spud with a box of chocolates and flowers* Bob Ryder: Hello! Rockstar Spud: Mr. Ryder!? Bob Ryder: Oh, no need for alarm. I just came to give you the orchids and fragrant bath oils I lavish upon all my employees. Rockstar Spud: Oh, aren't you nice. Gee, this makes me wonder why morale here is so low. James Storm: *sobbing* Rebel: *drinking* Bram: *cleaning a shotgun* I am the angel of death. The time of purification is at hand.
|
|
MiLB Fan
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,377
|
Post by MiLB Fan on Jun 4, 2016 18:07:45 GMT -5
(Dixie is freaking out when she realizes that TNA's annual report is due.)
Janice: I put the paperwork on top of your to-do pile over a month ago!
Dixie: I have a to-do pile? (She looks over to see a large stack of papers with a can of beer resting on top. She grabs a pen and paper and starts writing frantically.)
Dixie: Quick, Mom, how many wrestlers are on our roster? Oh, no time to count, I'll just estimate. Uh, 200!
Janice: Dixie, you know you don't--
Dixie: Shut up, shut up! If I don't hear it, it's not illegal. Now if anyone asks: Bound For Glory did one million domestic buys, our tour of India was a complete success, Pop TV is giving us another show, and we plan to launch the TNA Network next year!
|
|
|
Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Oct 3, 2016 12:43:42 GMT -5
Dixie's Post-Bound for Glory financial planning...
Dixie: This year I invested in pumpkins. They’ve been going up the whole month of October and I got a feeling they’re going to peak right around January. Then bang! That’s when I’ll cash in.
|
|
Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,287
|
Post by Push R Truth on Oct 3, 2016 12:49:50 GMT -5
Billy Corgan: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins Dixie: Dixie Carter, smiling politely
*****************
Billy Corgan: Well, I hope you're all satisfied. You bankrupted a naive money mark: a dude from the music industry where values are... different. I wasn't thinking about the money. I just wanted to tell a story: a story about men settling disputes by fighting in their underwear, and you slick small-towners took me for all I was worth.
Dixie: [sniffles] Do we give him some of his money back? Bob Rider: [weeps] No
|
|
Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,209
Member is Online
|
Post by Spider2024 on Nov 26, 2016 11:48:12 GMT -5
Whoever's working with Dixie now: Miss Dixie, we have a serious problem. These Nielsen ratings are the lowest they've been in years! Dixie: Oh my gosh! We're getting beaten by... A Connie Chung Christmas!
|
|
|
Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Dec 14, 2016 18:56:40 GMT -5
Sting: Sir you can't wrestle a match under the influence of ecstasy.
Jeff Hardy: Oh, that sounds like a wager to me.
-
Dixie Carter: Will you stop it! It's easy to blame ourselves, but it's even easier to blame Billy Corgan!
-
Rockstar Spud: Boy, that Kevin Owens sounds like quite a bloke. What wrestling company does he work for?
Mike Bennett: Why, WWE, of course.
Maria: WWE has lots of great talent, and their performance center and developmental territory can't be beat.
Drew Galloway: Do you think there's anything great on WWE Network right now?
James Storm: Oh, I'm sure of it.
Madison Rayne: But there's only one way to find out...
(cut to the closing credits)
James Storm: (voice-over) I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under ... (sound of gun cocking)... my own free will. It has come to my attention that WWE sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many TNA shows as possible. So in summary, WWE - bad. TNA - good. (very softly) ROH great.(sound of gunshot, followed by a thud. The TNA logo appears, accompanied by five more gunshots.)
|
|
|
Post by Susan "Poison" Candy on Dec 14, 2016 19:09:39 GMT -5
D'Lo Brown: You can lock us away, but you'll never defeat the DOA.
Borash: The DOA? I thought you were the Ace's & Eight's?
|
|
Reflecto
Hank Scorpio
The Sorceress' Knight
Posts: 6,847
|
Post by Reflecto on Dec 15, 2016 14:56:01 GMT -5
(Jeff Jarrett comes into the Anthem offices to people cheering):
Jarrett: Oh gosh. You know, I'm not much on speeches, but it's so gratifying to... leave you wallowing in the mess you've made. You're screwed, thank you, bye.
Anthem head: He's right. He ain't much on speeches.
|
|
|
Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Jan 11, 2017 21:02:48 GMT -5
*When Chris Harris inevitably returns*
Jeremy Borash: All right, folks. Prepare to be blown away by "Wildcat" Chris Harris!
*Harris comes out in his AMW Gear firing two toy guns as the crowd boos viciously*
Female Fan: You're fat!
Chris Harris: Just more of me to love, honey.
*A fan chucks a liquor bottle at Harris's head, knocking him out*
|
|
MiLB Fan
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,377
|
Post by MiLB Fan on Jan 11, 2017 22:00:44 GMT -5
(Todd Carter is standing in front of Panda Energy HQ when he sees a car drive up with Dixie tied to the roof.)
Anthem Employee: Hey Todd, I'm bringing back--
Todd (cocks a shotgun): You just keep right on driving.
|
|
r.
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Bye
Posts: 16,458
|
Post by r. on Jan 12, 2017 8:58:30 GMT -5
Jarrett: Look Dixie I gotta have my promotion back, I'll pay anything you want
Dixie: Uh well....
Robert Carter: Dixie give him back his promotion, I've got work tomorrow
Dixie: I'm sorry, I kinda traded your company to the guy at the Anthem store, but I got pogs! Hey remember AJ Stlyes? Well he's back back, In pog form
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2017 11:56:22 GMT -5
Dixie (to a sad Billy Corgan): I'll krump with ya, sug!
|
|
|
Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Jul 9, 2017 14:58:32 GMT -5
Department of Labor Agent: Mr. Nordholm, this promotion violates every labor law in the book! We found a missing lucha libre tag team working in your PPV opener!
Ed Nordholm: That plane crashed on my intellectual property!
|
|
|
Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Jul 12, 2017 10:51:00 GMT -5
[Dixie is showing EC3 around the Impact Zone] EC3: Eww. This place has got old man stink. Hulk Hogan: Ooh. Eric Bischoff: Don't listen to him, sir. You've got an enchanting musk. Shit, man, I accidentally stole this joke in the WWE Simpsons thread.
|
|