salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 21, 2012 10:22:25 GMT -5
Welcome back to the Tournament to End All Tournaments! It would appear Zangief grabbed Jason Bourne, hit him with a spinning clothesline and then dumped him on his head with a tornado piledriver. Tough luck, Jason. Help me find out who the most awesome/badass character/person of all time is! How would one accomplish such a task? Why by pitting every awesome and/or badass person/character/historical figure in a 512-person bracket style tournament that leaves only one person standing in the end. Who will it be? You will decide. There is no voting criteria. You can vote for a participant based on whatever you please. If you feel that person would be the victor in a fist fight, or if you think they're more badass, more epic, have better hair, or if you just like one better than the other. It's completely up to you, the voter. I want people to have fun with this, and perhaps imagine the two participants squaring off face to face. Today is a truly American matchup, as GI Joe hero Snake Eyes takes on Gangs of New York antagonist Bill the Butcher. Snake Eyes, of course, is generally one of the most loved characters of GI Joe, as he most resembles a ninja and anti-hero. He also has the luxrury of literally being a "silent killer". Bill the Butcher is anything but silent as he spouts his xenophobic rants to anyone within listening distance. As much of a bastard that he is, he has gained popularity as a badass mostly as a result of the dynamite performance of Daniel Day Lewis. As much of a jerk he is, people can't help but love him kicking ass. But can he hold a candle to the badassness of Snake Eyes? Snake Eyes.VS. Bill the Butcher--- Results: Tom Hanks(5) def. Van Helsing(3) -- Burt Reynolds(6) def. Gordon Freeman(1) -- Richard Petty(4) def. Ron Jeremy(3) -- Hulk Hogan(8) def. Mace Windu(3) -- Freddie Mercury(2) def. N.W.A.(1) -- Magneto(5) def. Tom Savini(2) -- Superman(4) def. Serena Williams(3) -- Darth Vader(8) def. Annie Oakley(1) -- Lara Croft(4) def. Public Enemy(2) -- Conan O'Brien(6) def. The Wicked Witch(1) -- Obi-Wan Kenobi(6) def. Ellen Ripley(1) -- Wayne Gretzky(4) def. Johnny Carson(1) -- Miho(3) def. Dee Snider(1) -- The Contra Guys(5) def. Harry Potter(2) -- Genghis Khan(6) def. Ron Weasley(5) -- Robocop(6) def. Illidan Stormrage(0) -- Captain America(7) def. Samurai Jack(0) -- The Lone Ranger(5) def. Gandalf(2) -- Bruce Lee(6) def. Babe Ruth(4) -- Max Payne(6) def. Will Arnett(2) -- Dwight D. Eisenhower(6) def. The Ultimate Warrior(3) -- Daredevil(6) def. Bootsy Collins(0) -- Bob Barker(5) def. Captain Barbossa(2) -- Jim Brown(5) def. Buck Rogers(1) -- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(7) def. Nostalgia Critic(1) -- King Kong(10) def. Rasputin(3) -- George Washington(8) def. Aragorn(1) -- Edgar Allan Poe(8) def. Moe Syzslak(1) -- Thing(7) def. Bill Murray(5) -- Ice Cube(4) def. Dalton(3) -- Mr. T(8) def. Dr. Wily(0) -- Link(5) def. Spartacus(3) -- Arthur Fonzarelli(3) def. Judge Dredd(2) -- Joan of Arc(3) def. Julius Caesar(2) -- John Wayne(4) def. Simon Phoenix(1) -- Vlad the Impaler(4) def. Ferris Bueller(3) -- Roddy Piper(3) def. Andre the Giant(1) -- Winston Churchill(7) def. Clive Owen(1) -- Hannibal(7) def. Ozzy Osbourne(4) -- The Kraken(5) def. Leeloo(2) -- William the Conquerer(5) def. Zapp Brannigan(2) -- Ghostbusters(5) def. Cloud(2) -- Shaft(6) def. Dr. House(1) -- Mick Foley(3) def. Hercules(2) -- Chuck Norris(5) def. General Zod(1) -- John Lennon(7) def. Brian Griffin(1) -- John Constantine(5) def. Trinity(0) -- Donkey Kong(7) def. John Matrix(1) -- Dr. Evil(3) def. Martin Riggs(1) -- Sherlock Holmes(7) def. The Minotaur(2) -- Doc Holliday(5) def. Sideshow Bob(4) -- Bane(5) def. The Beastmaster(2) - John McClane(6) def. Babyface Nelson(3) -- Yoda(5) def. Tyler Durden(2) -- Ric Flair(8) def. Steve Buscemi(1) -- The Iron Sheik(5) def. Jaws(2) -- Steve Irwin(4) def. Maximus(3) -- Spike(4) def. Sephiroth(3) -- Kingpin(6) def. Marge Simpson(2) -- Martin Luther King Jr.(4) def. Terry Funk(1) -- Tommy Lee Jones(4) def. Snoop Dogg(1) -- Guile(6) def. Blade(5) -- Vince Lombardi(6) ties MacGyver(6) -- T-800(5) def. Achilles(1) -- Samus Aran(5) def. The Warriors(4) -- Ron Burgundy(5) def. Vinnie Jones(0) -- Muhammad Ali(6) def. Bart Simpson(1) -- Zangief(6) def. Jason Bourne(1)
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 18, 2012 11:24:07 GMT -5
His problem is that his first name rhymes with gender.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 18, 2012 11:05:52 GMT -5
Ziggler sucks, so I voted for Big Johnny. Such fire in his words!
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 18, 2012 11:03:54 GMT -5
What a loser.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 17, 2012 6:42:52 GMT -5
Ahmed Johnson always managed to wedgie himself.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 17, 2012 6:31:20 GMT -5
I kept thinking I was going to see some Bella butt crack, but life continues to disappoint.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 17, 2012 6:28:23 GMT -5
This is a minute detail and has zero bearing on the current story. As if Swagger has looked strong lately save for deadlifting A-Ry. He'll most likely drop the belt back to Ryder at the Rumble.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 17, 2012 3:11:19 GMT -5
Big Johnny has grown on me. His ability to generate so much heat simply by stating his name and occupation amazes. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want him to lay Punk out either with an Ace Crusher or a skateboard.
I still want to see the skateboard, damnit!
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 17, 2012 3:00:08 GMT -5
Welcome back to the Tournament to End All Tournaments! Muhammad Ali wins in convincing fashion as he solidifies himself as the far greater cultural icon over Bartholemew J. Simpson. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think a single Simpsons character has advanced thus far. Maybe they really have overstayed their welcome... Help me find out who the most awesome/badass character/person of all time is! How would one accomplish such a task? Why by pitting every awesome and/or badass person/character/historical figure in a 512-person bracket style tournament that leaves only one person standing in the end. Who will it be? You will decide. There is no voting criteria. You can vote for a participant based on whatever you please. If you feel that person would be the victor in a fist fight, or if you think they're more badass, more epic, have better hair, or if you just like one better than the other. It's completely up to you, the voter. I want people to have fun with this, and perhaps imagine the two participants squaring off face to face. Never the less, we move right along with our next matchup, as Street Fighter character Zangief, takes on the title character of the Bourne trilogy, Jason Bourne. Zangief, of course, is the quedessential Russian of fighting games, and has been a mainstay on the Street Fighter scene since the second installment of the series. Fun facts about Zangief include him training by fighting grizzly bears and jumping into tornadoes. Jason Bourne, on the other hand, is a disgraced former government assassin who developed amnesia after a failed mission and spent the course of three movies figuring out who and what he was while hopefully getting revenge on those out to destroy him. I'd say this is a fairly even matchup. We'll see. Zangief.VS. Jason Bourne--- Results: Tom Hanks(5) def. Van Helsing(3) -- Burt Reynolds(6) def. Gordon Freeman(1) -- Richard Petty(4) def. Ron Jeremy(3) -- Hulk Hogan(8) def. Mace Windu(3) -- Freddie Mercury(2) def. N.W.A.(1) -- Magneto(5) def. Tom Savini(2) -- Superman(4) def. Serena Williams(3) -- Darth Vader(8) def. Annie Oakley(1) -- Lara Croft(4) def. Public Enemy(2) -- Conan O'Brien(6) def. The Wicked Witch(1) -- Obi-Wan Kenobi(6) def. Ellen Ripley(1) -- Wayne Gretzky(4) def. Johnny Carson(1) -- Miho(3) def. Dee Snider(1) -- The Contra Guys(5) def. Harry Potter(2) -- Genghis Khan(6) def. Ron Weasley(5) -- Robocop(6) def. Illidan Stormrage(0) -- Captain America(7) def. Samurai Jack(0) -- The Lone Ranger(5) def. Gandalf(2) -- Bruce Lee(6) def. Babe Ruth(4) -- Max Payne(6) def. Will Arnett(2) -- Dwight D. Eisenhower(6) def. The Ultimate Warrior(3) -- Daredevil(6) def. Bootsy Collins(0) -- Bob Barker(5) def. Captain Barbossa(2) -- Jim Brown(5) def. Buck Rogers(1) -- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(7) def. Nostalgia Critic(1) -- King Kong(10) def. Rasputin(3) -- George Washington(8) def. Aragorn(1) -- Edgar Allan Poe(8) def. Moe Syzslak(1) -- Thing(7) def. Bill Murray(5) -- Ice Cube(4) def. Dalton(3) -- Mr. T(8) def. Dr. Wily(0) -- Link(5) def. Spartacus(3) -- Arthur Fonzarelli(3) def. Judge Dredd(2) -- Joan of Arc(3) def. Julius Caesar(2) -- John Wayne(4) def. Simon Phoenix(1) -- Vlad the Impaler(4) def. Ferris Bueller(3) -- Roddy Piper(3) def. Andre the Giant(1) -- Winston Churchill(7) def. Clive Owen(1) -- Hannibal(7) def. Ozzy Osbourne(4) -- The Kraken(5) def. Leeloo(2) -- William the Conquerer(5) def. Zapp Brannigan(2) -- Ghostbusters(5) def. Cloud(2) -- Shaft(6) def. Dr. House(1) -- Mick Foley(3) def. Hercules(2) -- Chuck Norris(5) def. General Zod(1) -- John Lennon(7) def. Brian Griffin(1) -- John Constantine(5) def. Trinity(0) -- Donkey Kong(7) def. John Matrix(1) -- Dr. Evil(3) def. Martin Riggs(1) -- Sherlock Holmes(7) def. The Minotaur(2) -- Doc Holliday(5) def. Sideshow Bob(4) -- Bane(5) def. The Beastmaster(2) - John McClane(6) def. Babyface Nelson(3) -- Yoda(5) def. Tyler Durden(2) -- Ric Flair(8) def. Steve Buscemi(1) -- The Iron Sheik(5) def. Jaws(2) -- Steve Irwin(4) def. Maximus(3) -- Spike(4) def. Sephiroth(3) -- Kingpin(6) def. Marge Simpson(2) -- Martin Luther King Jr.(4) def. Terry Funk(1) -- Tommy Lee Jones(4) def. Snoop Dogg(1) -- Guile(6) def. Blade(5) -- Vince Lombardi(6) ties MacGyver(6) -- T-800(5) def. Achilles(1) -- Samus Aran(5) def. The Warriors(4) -- Ron Burgundy(5) def. Vinnie Jones(0) -- Muhammad Ali(6) def. Bart Simpson(1)
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 14, 2012 18:17:42 GMT -5
Dolph Ziggler
Everyone here talks him up like the next Shawn Michaels, but everything about him says 'bland to me. Nothing he does is spectacular. Plus, he's tragically goofy looking, like I can't take him seriously at all.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 12, 2012 12:22:21 GMT -5
He seems like the very self-indulgent type that views his fans as "marks". I doubt he'd want to spend any time with people that enjoy his work. He might just be one of those people that prefers to be alone or in the company of a very close network of friends. Which is fine, not everyone can be a friend to everyone. Guys like Mick Foley and Bret Hart are just people people, not everyone is.
On the contrary, John Cena seems like one of the nicest people you could ever meet, but I can't stand his character.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 12, 2012 11:59:24 GMT -5
Might as well throw in my real response:
In terms of importance/influence of/to the wrestling business:
1. "THE IMMORTAL" HULK HOGAN 1a. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin 3. The Rock 3a. "Macho Man" Randy Savage 5. Sting 5a. "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair 7. Bruno Sammartino 7a. Andre the Giant 9. Lou Thesz 10. Antonio Inoki
Honorable mentions: Harley Race, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Terry Funk, Bret "Hitman" Hart, Mick "Cactus Jack/Mankind/Dude Love" Foley, Dusty Rhodes, The Undertaker, "HBK" Shawn Michaels
In terms of pure ability as a performer/worker/entertainer
1. Keiji Mutoh/The Great Muta 2. Bret "Hitman" Hart 2a. "HBK" Shawn Michaels 4. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin 5. Ricky Steamboat 6. The Dynamite Kid 7. Kurt Angle 8. Mitsuharu Misawa 8a. Kenta Kobashi 8b. Jumbo Tsuruta
Honorable mention: "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Ric Flair, The Undertaker
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 12, 2012 7:40:18 GMT -5
1. Battle Kat 2. Braun the Leprechaun 3. Ice Train 4. Brakus 5. Sniper 6. Recon 7. Loch Ness 8. The Sultan 9. Saba Simba 10. Sterling Golden
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 12, 2012 7:19:18 GMT -5
My only gripe is that I was hoping Kane was going to come in as a tweener/chaotic type character that is only going to further what they've been teasing for months, which is John Cena cracking under the pressure. I thought just maybe Kane would be the ultimate representation of the hatred towards Cena.
Unforunately Kane is once again a true heel, hence the inclusion of Ryder and the promo against the crowd. It's just another plea to try and get Cena some sympathy cheers rather than doing something new and interesting.
How much cooler would it have been if Kane simply said "This crowd hates you, and so do I". Not this "everyone needs to embrace the hate" crap. I hope it gets more interesting. Or more campy. I'll take either.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 12, 2012 7:01:26 GMT -5
We're taking wrestling seriously now? I, for one, think wrestling, specifically WWE, isn't tongue-in-cheek enough. I want more just ridiculous random silliness that is completely meaningless. Brodus Clay is like that--I see it as entirely stupid humor that has no intention other than that.
One thing I'm dying to see is Big Johnny still trying to be an early 90's "dude" when no one is looking. Like just have a backstage segment that opens with Johnny in front of a mirror trying on a blonde mullet wig and pretending he's still a Dynamic Dude; and just once, I want to see him use a skateboard as a weapon. That's all I really want.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 11, 2012 21:09:58 GMT -5
Welcome back to the Tournament to End All Tournaments! I appologize for my extended absense. The holidays have not been kind as I've lost two very close relatives in a matter of two months. Keeping track of this tournament just wasn't a priority. Never the less, I'm back now and ready to push forward and keep this baby rolling. As you all saw, the last match saw Ron Burgundy thoroughly trounce Vinnie Jones in a five to one victory. It seems the random number sorter is working in my favor as the matchup for the triumphant return of the TEAT is a proverbial clash of cultural icons. Help me find out who the most awesome/badass character/person of all time is! How would one accomplish such a task? Why by pitting every awesome and/or badass person/character/historical figure in a 512-person bracket style tournament that leaves only one person standing in the end. Who will it be? You will decide. There is no voting criteria. You can vote for a participant based on whatever you please. If you feel that person would be the victor in a fist fight, or if you think they're more badass, more epic, have better hair, or if you just like one better than the other. It's completely up to you, the voter. I want people to have fun with this, and perhaps imagine the two participants squaring off face to face. I'm keeping this short and sweet. You know who these guys are, they require no introduction. Bart Simpson.VS. Muhammad Ali--- Results: Tom Hanks(5) def. Van Helsing(3) -- Burt Reynolds(6) def. Gordon Freeman(1) -- Richard Petty(4) def. Ron Jeremy(3) -- Hulk Hogan(8) def. Mace Windu(3) -- Freddie Mercury(2) def. N.W.A.(1) -- Magneto(5) def. Tom Savini(2) -- Superman(4) def. Serena Williams(3) -- Darth Vader(8) def. Annie Oakley(1) -- Lara Croft(4) def. Public Enemy(2) -- Conan O'Brien(6) def. The Wicked Witch(1) -- Obi-Wan Kenobi(6) def. Ellen Ripley(1) -- Wayne Gretzky(4) def. Johnny Carson(1) -- Miho(3) def. Dee Snider(1) -- The Contra Guys(5) def. Harry Potter(2) -- Genghis Khan(6) def. Ron Weasley(5) -- Robocop(6) def. Illidan Stormrage(0) -- Captain America(7) def. Samurai Jack(0) -- The Lone Ranger(5) def. Gandalf(2) -- Bruce Lee(6) def. Babe Ruth(4) -- Max Payne(6) def. Will Arnett(2) -- Dwight D. Eisenhower(6) def. The Ultimate Warrior(3) -- Daredevil(6) def. Bootsy Collins(0) -- Bob Barker(5) def. Captain Barbossa(2) -- Jim Brown(5) def. Buck Rogers(1) -- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(7) def. Nostalgia Critic(1) -- King Kong(10) def. Rasputin(3) -- George Washington(8) def. Aragorn(1) -- Edgar Allan Poe(8) def. Moe Syzslak(1) -- Thing(7) def. Bill Murray(5) -- Ice Cube(4) def. Dalton(3) -- Mr. T(8) def. Dr. Wily(0) -- Link(5) def. Spartacus(3) -- Arthur Fonzarelli(3) def. Judge Dredd(2) -- Joan of Arc(3) def. Julius Caesar(2) -- John Wayne(4) def. Simon Phoenix(1) -- Vlad the Impaler(4) def. Ferris Bueller(3) -- Roddy Piper(3) def. Andre the Giant(1) -- Winston Churchill(7) def. Clive Owen(1) -- Hannibal(7) def. Ozzy Osbourne(4) -- The Kraken(5) def. Leeloo(2) -- William the Conquerer(5) def. Zapp Brannigan(2) -- Ghostbusters(5) def. Cloud(2) -- Shaft(6) def. Dr. House(1) -- Mick Foley(3) def. Hercules(2) -- Chuck Norris(5) def. General Zod(1) -- John Lennon(7) def. Brian Griffin(1) -- John Constantine(5) def. Trinity(0) -- Donkey Kong(7) def. John Matrix(1) -- Dr. Evil(3) def. Martin Riggs(1) -- Sherlock Holmes(7) def. The Minotaur(2) -- Doc Holliday(5) def. Sideshow Bob(4) -- Bane(5) def. The Beastmaster(2) - John McClane(6) def. Babyface Nelson(3) -- Yoda(5) def. Tyler Durden(2) -- Ric Flair(8) def. Steve Buscemi(1) -- The Iron Sheik(5) def. Jaws(2) -- Steve Irwin(4) def. Maximus(3) -- Spike(4) def. Sephiroth(3) -- Kingpin(6) def. Marge Simpson(2) -- Martin Luther King Jr.(4) def. Terry Funk(1) -- Tommy Lee Jones(4) def. Snoop Dogg(1) -- Guile(6) def. Blade(5) -- Vince Lombardi(6) ties MacGyver(6) -- T-800(5) def. Achilles(1) -- Samus Aran(5) def. The Warriors(4) -- Ron Burgundy(5) def. Vinnie Jones(0)
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Jan 10, 2012 1:46:00 GMT -5
My bad.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Dec 21, 2011 1:59:55 GMT -5
I just want Awesome Kong to come in There Will Be Blood style, bowling pin optional, and destroy all the Divas. Pick up the mic, say "I'm finished.", and leave.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Dec 21, 2011 1:34:17 GMT -5
I think it's pretty obvious what happened here. Kane attacked Cena because he got drunk after getting kicked out of school when he was framed by Eric and the Revolting Blob.
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salTy
El Dandy
Posts: 8,425
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Post by salTy on Dec 19, 2011 19:48:38 GMT -5
I'd like to pretend Mason Ryan never stepped foot in the ring to begin with.
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