shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
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Post by shaker on Mar 14, 2014 13:22:59 GMT -5
That segment of Miz TV was just... wow, breathtakingly good.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 14, 2014 12:37:06 GMT -5
I wish I could see another Cena vs Orton match.
Guys, I'm pretty excited about Mania, but do you think they could work in Kid Rock to REALLY put it over the top?
Curtis Axel - best promo guy since Kozlov?
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 14, 2014 12:30:52 GMT -5
I used to love eating there about 2-3 years ago, but the cost kept going up and the quality dropped a lot.
If they could lower the prices to be comparable to Subway I think they'd be fine.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 14, 2014 9:30:15 GMT -5
Raw after Mania, HHH is in the hospital from the beating he took, so Stephanie comes out at the beginning.
"Last night, Daniel Bryan assaulted my husband and illegally won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Right now, I'm stripping him of his title and throwing him in jail! POLICE!!! GET OUT HERE NOW!!!"
A bunch of Keystone Kops come out and surround the ring.
"DANIEL BRYAN! GET OUT HERE NOW AND FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!"
Bryan's music starts playing. Bryan has a mic in his hands.
"Hey Stephanie, funny thing about that... I actually talked to HHH and he's not pressing charges... in fact he's really happy I'm the champ and he has something important to tell you! Isn't that right, Hunter?"
Bryan pulls out Puppet H to a huge pop!!! He starts his ventriloquist act.
"That's right Daniel Bryan, I am the Game and I officially announce that I am done trying to stop you. The Authority is done. And Stephanie, honey, I'm afraid you're under arrest! For embezzling money from the WWE! Take her away, boys!"
The cops arrest Stephanie, she starts screaming and one cop says "Hey, HHH said to do it, and that's definitely HHH down there".
Bryan and Puppet H start to do the Yes chant.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 14, 2014 9:14:37 GMT -5
Our local rental store had one aisle dedicated JUST to the horror movies. And they had all the VHS covers facing outwards. You had to pass through this aisle to get to the SNES games (as an adult, I'm convinced this was the teenage staff's way of getting enjoyment from terrified kids).
Those covers freaked me out, no matter how goofy the cover was. I specifically remember "Jack Frost" (with a goofy skull/snowman face) and "The Ghoulies" (with things coming out of the toilet) as freaking me right the hell out to the point where I would have trouble sleeping that night if I thought about them too much.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 14, 2014 7:51:05 GMT -5
This thread took a turn for the creepier, and that's saying a lot.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 14, 2014 7:49:06 GMT -5
Batista celebrates with the title in the ring as fans throw garbage in the ring.
HHH is outside the ring doing DX chops to everybody in the crowd (literally - he does this tens of thousands of times). Ric Flair starts "Wooing" around the place as his forehead starts to bleed. And Orton looks at Batista, pauses for a moment, then starts clapping.
Daniel Bryan lays on the mat as Stephanie uses a backhoe to pile dirt on him. She's screaming "YEAH YOU PEOPLE HAPPY NOW? I'M LITERALLY BURYING HIM SO DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RUN A COMPANY!" the whole time.
They cut to the audience, which is leaving in droves. One single child wearing a Daniel Bryan shirt has tears in his eyes and whispers "....no..." before Batista runs into the crowd and knocks him out.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 13, 2014 11:04:12 GMT -5
Sting appears.
Daniel Bryan celebration interrupted by Corporate Machine Punk.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 13, 2014 10:49:45 GMT -5
They're gonna love this guy in prison.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 13, 2014 10:43:11 GMT -5
f***ing hell. Im fed up of all these copycat threads they are not funny in the slightest, they're just irritating. This board runs memes in to the ground. Is that you, Steve Carlsberg? Listen up Steve - just because YOU couldn't get tickets to the show is no reason to ruin everyone else's enjoyment of my reports.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 13, 2014 9:36:39 GMT -5
We are on the road to Wrestlemania, which means the WWE is bringing it's A game (except those weeks where they feel like phoning it in!!). That attitude includes the house shows, because let me tell you - this was my FAVORITE house show yet!
The crowd was about 99.4% full - pretty amazing for a house show on a Wednesday night (it was competing against a local bake sale and the Invisible Farmer's Market).
HHH and Stephanie were out first, telling us that tonight's show was brought to us by StrexCorp, a local business here that has recently branched out into mind control technology, bio-engineering, and orange juice production. They announced that in honor of StrexCorp, our main event was going to be a Wrestlemania preview; as Daniel Bryan took on Batista AND Orton in a handicap match!
First up was Rusev taking on a local guy - The Desert Scorpion. The Desert Scorpion got a little bit of offense in (he transformed into a cloud of buzzing flies at one point, which seemed to throw Rusev off his game) but the outcome was obvious from the start. Rusev won pretty decisively with what I assume is his finisher - he tore both arms off the Desert Scorpion and then beat him to death with them. Lana is absolutely stunning in real life, too - that prehensile tail especially.
Next up, the Usos defended their tag titles against the New Age Outlaws! NAO were playing full heel - they dropped their normal introduction for a long, droning hum that caused several members of the audience to spontaneously combust. Usos won a good match after Billy Gunn missed a Fame-Asser, only to be hit with double super kicks and then a big splash. Good match!
Daniel Bryan promo next. He said that he has an idea for the main event - a member of the Yes Movement should be his tag team partner! The crowd went crazy!!! Bryan said he was going to watch the crowd closely, and pick someone to help him beat Orton and Batista in the main event! Very cool!!
Diva's match up next - AJ Lee, Tamina, and Aksana took on The Bella Twins and Natalya. The Bella Twins busted out a new tag team finisher that was pretty cool - Brie used her latent telekinetic power to lift Aksana about 15 feet in the air, then Nikki fired laser beams from her eyes. Brie was going for the pin on Aksana's roasted corpse, but AJ won with a rollup. Pretty good math overall - after the rollup Natalya cleared the ring with a steel chair and proceeded to dance.
Bryan said he had selected his partner for the main event, and a dozen hooded figures descended from the rafters into the audience to pick up the lucky fan. I didn't get a good look at this point (the strobe lights and random bursts of color from the hooded figures made it hard to tell where they were), but I heard a LOT of happy screaming and crying here, so somebody must have been pumped.
The next match was kind of a flop, but I think it was just bad match placement. Big E, Mark Henry, and Dolph Ziggler came out wearing shirts that said "More Like CM Junk, am I right?" to take on The Shield, who were wearing camo versions of their current ring gear. And I mean camo in the sense that they were invisible - outside of a Predator-like shimmer effect, the Shield was impossible to see. Hard to judge this one because of that, but I did like the finish. Ambrose's camo malfunctioned, and he appeared wtih pizza stains on his face. Ziggler proceeded to hit a Zig Zag, then Big E hit a Big Ending. Big E goes for the pin, Rollins and Reigns try to break it up but Mark Henry mowed them down with a chain gun while yelling "I AM A GODDAMN SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS". Big E gets the pin! Huge pop for the finish, but then again, Svitz has always been a big Jesse Ventura town!!!
Final matchup now! Orton and Batista out to a ton of boos, coming out to a new theme song (imagine a mix of the Right to Censor Theme, Honky Tonk Man's, and a funeral dirge) with lyrics like "All of the rain is not real. Mountains are not real. Batista Bomb!!!"
Bryan came out to an insane pop, paused at the top of the ramp, and said "And my partner..... a proud member of the Yes Movement....."
*GLASS SHATTERS*
Bah gawd AUSTIN!!!!
I don't need to tell you how amazing this main event was. Austin and Bryan basically whooped ass for 15 minutes straight, and it was great. Bryan really deserved a nice moment like this. The finish came when Batista attempted a spear on Bryan, only to run into Austin's boot. STUNNER!!! Orton tried to run out of the ring, but Bryan hits him with the running knee! 1-2-3!!
Post match - Austin drinks a beer with Bryan (who was drinking water), then gets on the mic. He proceeds to read the entirety of "The Old Man and The Sea" as the crowd goes nuts. During this, Bryan fired t-shirts out of a cannon hidden in his beard.
Great show - if Mania is anything like that main event, we'll all be happy campers!
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 13, 2014 8:14:14 GMT -5
Did Del Rio seriously beat Batista? And it wasn't a DQ or countout?
I konw the site makes a joke about nobody remembering this - but I honestly am completely blanking on this point.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 12, 2014 15:17:15 GMT -5
I have one I'm pretty proud of.
For 4 years I changed my roommates clock to be random times, ate her food and replaced it with other food, would randomly do her laundry or put her clean clothes in the hamper. One time I had friends come over and act like they couldn't see her.
It escalated to the point where she couldn't tell what was real and what she imagined. I convinced her that a nuclear war had happened and it wasn't safe to leave the apartment. She believed me.
That night I did the final step; had friends dress as aliens and "invade" the apartment. She was so paranoid and scared that nobody could blame her for pulling the trigger on that gun she had hidden for years. No jury would ever convict her for that, which was good. She killed my buddy Richie, who had owed me 20 bucks and refused to pay.
Best prank ever, Richie totally never saw it coming!!!
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 12, 2014 12:35:06 GMT -5
Those shoes that have toes.
A fedora.
A shirt that he wears "ironically" - possibly having a children's cartoon character on it.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 12, 2014 12:28:22 GMT -5
Show Hogan in the Wyatt compound, he touches a stream of trickling water.
"AHHHH IT'S NOT HOT!"
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 12, 2014 12:26:58 GMT -5
Heel Cena stuff again? Hey I at least included cloning.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 12, 2014 12:20:01 GMT -5
With Wrestlemania coming up very shortly, I thought I'd look forward to what comes next. We know the Raw after Mania usually has at least one HUGE moment, then some kind of big summer storyline. So here's how I think it'll go:
On the WWE World Heavyweight Title Front: Daniel Bryan walks out of Mania as a champ. To end Raw, John Cena and Daniel Bryan defeat Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton. Bryan and Cena celebrate, before Cena proceeds to beat the crap out of Bryan with a sneak attack. He grabs a mic, and says "I told all of you I was the gatekeeper of the WWE.... and I wasn't lying. Daniel Bryan, my entire life is wrestling.... and you have a piece of my soul right now. I am going to get it back and I'm going to destroy the Yes Movement."
That leads to heel Cena vs face Bryan over the summer, with an official rematch of last year's Summerslam. Bryan wins - Cena, Orton, and Batista end up forming a heel stable that feuds with Bryan and The Rhodeses for much of the year.
On the IC Title Front: I dunno, I'll say Rusev gets it, then loses it to a clone grown with the DNA of Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston (Kolf Zingler) - genetically bred to be a perfectly acceptable IC champ.
On the US Title Front: The Shield breaks up - Ambrose loses his first defense as a single man.
Tag Titles: Usos keep it for a good long while, having great matches with everybody. They keep it for months and have a great feud with the Wyatts.
Divas Title: AJ loses at Mania to Natalya, since it is her birthday year and she's ready to ride.
I'll also say the Shield breaks up, leading to Ambrose's aforementioned singles run as a heel. Rollins and Reigns get singles pushes as faces, Rollins as a challenger for Bryan, Reigns as a monster face. Reigns ends up getting in over his head to start and falters as an upper midcard face, having a series of underwhelming matches. Reigns is turned heel pretty quickly and finds his footing again.
CM Punk will be back, in pog form.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 12, 2014 9:28:56 GMT -5
With Corporate Abyss screwing Samoa Joe out of his title win, I hope they just straight up copy WWE.
Samoa Joe starts the "Joe Movement", starts chanting "JOE! JOE! JOE!" during matches.
Magnus is already basically in the Orton role.
Lashley comes back, demands title shot and gets it. Starts telling people to "Suck my balls... if that's okay....." Since he's hard hitting but soft spoken.
Impact in about 6 weeks will have Samoa Joe filling the ring with fans, demanding a title match.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 12, 2014 9:22:02 GMT -5
I like the idea that Buff Bagwell could have been in the same role as Cena.
Buff Bagwell - Make A Wish's most requested celebrity. The man whose "BUFFNATION" T-Shirts made the WWE millions of dollars. A guy who can devote his life to the WWE and focus 100% on making it and himself better.
Yeah, Buff freakin' Bagwell could have been as big as Cena.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Mar 12, 2014 7:59:02 GMT -5
Cause he's a guy who's overness is tied directly to how much he wins.
He's like Ryback - if he takes a loss it'll negatively affect his popularity.
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